Chapter 1 (Breslin)
This. Can't. Be. Happening.
I shake my head, convinced that this entire scene before me is a mirage of some sort caused by jet lag.
Because why else would I be seeing Landon on the bed naked...and a stark-naked Asher hovering above him.
“Breslin?” Asher chokes out, and that does it.
Everything in my body locks up, because there's no mistaking that it is him now.
There's no mistaking that I just walked straight into something that not even my worst nightmare could conjure up.
I try to take a breath, but I can't. Oh, God. I. Can't. Fucking. Breathe.
I turn, my stomach flips and my vision is blurry, and I'm certain I'm a mere second away from passing out due to shock. But I can't, because I need to get out. I have to get out of here, every nerve in my body is screaming for me to run.
So I do.
For the briefest of moments, I consider going to my apartment and holding up in there, but I can't. Because I can already hear them scrambling off the bed.
The bed that they were...
I clutch my chest, bile rising in my throat, my vision becoming even more hazy.
I hike my bag up my shoulder and snatch my luggage that's propped out in the hall. And then I'm running down the stairs and out to the lobby as fast as my shaky legs can carry me.
I hear someone shout my name behind me but I don't know who, because everything is blending together and I can't form a cohesive thought right now to save my life.
I throw my bag in the car and jump into the driver's seat. I don't know where I'm going, but anywhere is better than here.
Tears are clogging my eyes, streaming down my face faster than my cheeks can catch them as I grasp the steering wheel and turn the key. I feel like I'm thrown into one of the circles of hell...the worst one.
The last time I saw Asher Holden is burned into the back of my mind and I can't help but choke out another sob as I press on the gas. I thought that betrayal was the worst back then, but how wrong I was.
What I don't understand is why?
Why is he here? Why is he with Landon? Why is Landon with him? Just what kind of sick and cruel joke is this?
Whose idea was it to pull the rug out from under my feet like this?
I'm sobbing so hard I have to pull over. I want to call Kit; because I've never needed my best friend more than this moment. But then I remember that she's proposing to Becca soon and I'd hate myself for ruining her happiness.
I wipe my face with the back of my hands, but fresh tears fall. It's like they won't ever stop, taunting me just like the memory of finding them in bed together does.
I need to figure out a plan, because there's no way in hell I'm going back to that death trap that is the apartment complex. I can't go to a hotel because I'm low on funds—because I spent my money trying to come back here to make things right with Landon.
But he was with Asher.
That thought pings around the walls of my skull and I scream.
Anger needles my insides, prickling my skin with tiny bolts of rage that are on the verge of taking over my entire body. I honestly don't know which one I'm angrier with.
Actually, that's not right, because when I think about Landon...there's a swell of sadness.
But when I think about Asher?
Oh...I want to tear his beating heart out of his chest right before I shove it down his throat and watch him choke on it like he did to me.
I rest my head on the steering wheel and draw in a breath. Where the hell am I going to sleep tonight?
The thought hits me, and I'd almost smile if it wasn't for feeling so miserable. The dorm.
I had forgotten on account that every student on tour was granted an extension, but it's official check in day today. And although Kit had talked about wanting to rent the apartment for the rest of the year, I told her no because I couldn't afford it.
Of course, she offered to pay, but I wouldn't let her. So we registered for a dorm again, and Kit being Kit; threw some extra money the school's way to ensure we'd be roommates this year. I mean, now I'm guessing her and Becca will move into the apartment together, but I can go to the dorm tonight.
I don't have to go back to the hell hole.
I drive toward the college, refusing to let myself think about what will happen when classes start in a few days. For the first time in my life, I'm thankful Landon and I have different majors, because there's no chance I'll see him around campus.
And hopefully that means I'll never have to see Asher again, either.
But Landon. God, fuck my heart and the way it pangs. Was this his way of getting back at me for hurting him? Tracking down my ex and...hooking up with him?
I know what I did was wrong. I know I hurt him. But I'm pretty sure I don't deserve this amount of hatred thrown my way.
But who knows...because I sure as hell don't feel like I know Landon anymore.
Or Asher.
Or myself.
I know nothing. Nothing but this unbearable pain seeping and settling in my chest.
I pull up to the school parking lot which is semi-packed due to students officially checking in the weekend before classes start, and I silently pray there isn't a long line.
I reach for my sunglasses and tug my luggage out, cursing the sun the entire time for having the audacity to shine bright and warm when there's nothing but a gray force-field enclosing my heart.
I force my mind to go blank as I stand in line, force myself to pretend like my life didn't just fall to complete and utter shit for the second time because of him.
When I reach the check-in table, I plaster a fake smile on my face and take a breath past the ache in my ribs.
Thankfully the girl at the table checks me in without question and without any hiccups.
I lug my bags into the elevator and press the button for the senior co-ed floor, telling myself to just keep it together for a few more minutes.
I stride past the blonde knocking incessantly on someone's door and curse when I realize the door she's knocking on is the door next to mine. She's got about two more knocks left before I hit her with a dose of reality and inform her that the person on the other side is either ignoring her, or not in their dorm.
She turns to face me right when I stick my key in. “Have you seen him?”
I have no clue who him is and right now I don't care to. I give a shake of my head and mutter a curt, “Nope.” which makes her huff and walk away.
As soon as I let myself in and toss my bags inside, I fall against the wall.
And finally, I let myself break. Let myself shatter.
Let the pain swallow me up whole and pray that I'll somehow get through this for a second time. Because right now? I'm not so sure that I will.