Chapter 49 (Landon)
I knock on Breslin's door for the fifth time and step back with a sigh. Right when I'm about to turn around, it swings open and I come face to face with a very tired and annoyed looking Kit.
She shoves her sleep mask up and squints her eyes at me. “You know, there are these nifty things called phones. You press a few buttons and it allows you to speak to someone without having to wake a poor innocent person up with your relentless knocking. You should try it some time.” She steps aside and motions for me to come in. “She's not back yet.”
“I left my cell phone on the plane,” I tell her, stepping inside.
She takes her phone off the nightstand and hands it to me. “Knock yourself out.”
Apprehension surges through me and I stare down at it. Ever since my conversation with Asher last night, this knot of doom has been sitting smack dab in the middle of my chest and I hate it.
“Ugh,” Kit says, stomping around the room. “Okay, let's go.”
I lift a brow. “Go where?”
She throws a sweatshirt over her head. “The cafeteria.” She reaches for her jacket and knapsack. “Breslin's still not home and you obviously need someone to lay your shit on before you talk to her. Plus, I'm grumpy when I'm hungry so you're buying me lunch.”
“I'm fine.” She gives me a look and I falter. “Okay, I'm not fine. I'm jealous and I don't know how to make it go away.”
She points to the front door and I follow her. “You're not jealous, Landon. That would imply that you're envious of what someone else has. But you already have what Asher has.” She pauses. “And what Breslin has.” We start walking down the hallway. “What you are, my friend, is threatened.”
I think about her statement for a moment. “Fair enough. I keep trying to get over it, but whenever I picture them together without me I'm—”
“Hurt?”
I shake my head because that's only a small part of it. “Afraid. They have a connection and a past that I can never compete with.”
“Then why are you? Trying to compete with it that is.”
I'm not entirely sure that I understand her question. “Because I love them and I don't want to lose them.”
“Look, I don't know shit about being in a polyamorous relationship, and Lord knows the thought of one penis let alone two seriously skeeves me out, but I have fallen in love more than once in my life.”
“Okay,” I drawl, not understanding at all where she's going with this.
She stops mid-stride. “Did you fall in love with Breslin for the same reasons that you fell in love with Asher?”
I run a hand over my jaw. “No. Different reasons entirely. Same feeling, but the two aren't mutually exclusive because they aren't the same person. I'm attracted to and value different aspects of them individually.” I hike my guitar case up my shoulder. “Breslin because she's feisty and stubborn, and yet underneath that hard exterior she's sensitive and warm.” I tap my chest. “We run on the same wavelength and I can be myself around her, no pretenses. She gets me and accepts me for who I am. And even when she frustrates me, I'm somehow at peace when I'm with her.”
She takes a seat on a bench in the courtyard. “And Asher?”
“Asher is a wild card. On the surface he's unpredictable, reckless, and self-centered. And yet, there's a genuine depth to him once he lets you in.” I rock back on my heels. “He challenges me and even though we're opposites, we somehow fit when we're together. He's my best friend and rival all in one. We're turbulent and complicated, but that's part of the draw.”
She purses her lips and studies my face, almost like my response has her perplexed. “I don't understand why you're threatened by what they have when it sounds like you have something pretty amazing with them too.”
I open my mouth but she holds up a finger and says, “Their connection and past doesn't negate the connection they have with you, because if it did, no one would be fighting to make this relationship work. One or all of you would have given up by now.”
She stands up. “I get that you're insecure and afraid that they're going to run off into the sunset without you, but look at the big picture here. If they didn't want you or love you, they would have dumped you to be with one another. You give them something that the other can't. And before you get upset, that doesn't mean you're lacking, it simply means that you're important, Landon. You matter to them. For the same reasons they matter to you.” She pats my shoulder. “You're not spare parts. Quite the opposite actually, you're the part that makes them complete. And I bet if you communicated and told them your concerns, they would reassure you of that in a way that I can't.”
My mind flits back to the conversations that I had with them individually after everything went down before I left for England.
Kit has a point. A big one.
I take a breath, feeling better than I have in a while. All I want to do is see them both so we can figure out how to make it work. Because I want it to. I need it to.
I don't want to give up on them. On us. I'm in this for the long haul.
I gesture to the dining hall and begin walking. “Come on, Kit. You've earned that lunch. I'll buy you two of anything you want.”
She rubs her stomach as we walk through the doors. “Good, because I am starving.” She makes a face. “I had to do five whole hours of coffee slave labor by myself this morning.”
I laugh as we look for an empty table in the moderately packed room. “Otherwise known as work?”
We spot a table all the way in the back and head for it. We exchange a look when we notice some guy wearing a black jacket hunched over at the very end, his back to the wall. Given that his hood is on and he's face down, resting his forehead on his arms, I assume he's sleeping. How someone can manage to do that in a noisy room full of people is beyond me.
“Hey,” Kit says in his direction. “Mind if we join you?”
When there's no response, she shrugs and sits.
I grab the seat across from her, placing my guitar case down next to me. “Ready to go up and get food?”
She opens her arms wide. “And give up this prime seating? Uh, no. I'll take the grilled chicken and avocado club, though.” She gives me a shit eating grin. “Two of them, and a Dr. Pepper.”
“Got it.” I give her a warning look as I stand up. “Watch the guitar.”
She starts to wave me off, but then she turns whiter than a sheet of paper and yanks me back to my seat. “Don't go.”
“What?” I turn my head. “Why—” My words fall when I see Preston Holden walk in. I'm not really sure why he's here right now, but it's clear Kit wants no part of it by the way she's looking at the exit.
She's out of luck, though because Preston's standing in front of us a moment later. “Hey, can we talk?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see the guy at the end of the table shift.
“Sorry, can't,” Kit says. “My class starts in a few.”
When Preston starts to object she adds, “Breslin will be walking through those doors any minute now and I haven't seen my bestie in almost a month.” She reaches for her knapsack. “Bros over hoes and all that.” She gives him a look that makes it clear she's referring to him being the hoe.
She motions for me to get up. I look down, unsure of what to do next. There's no way I'm choosing sides between my boyfriend's brother and my girlfriend's best friend. That's just asking for trouble.
I stand up. “Listen, guys I don't—”
I'm cut off when Preston blanches and says, “You're supposed to be in jail.” At the same time Kit yells, “What the fuck? Stop it,” as the guy in the black jacket stands and tugs her to him.
And then before any of us can comprehend what's happening, he's pulling two guns out of his jacket.
He points one at Kit's head and the other he uses to open fire in the dining hall.
Everyone starts screaming and running for the exits. Except for me and Preston because the guy in the black jacket sneers, “Run and I'll kill her.”
“Kyle, don't do this, man—” Preston starts to say but then the guy does do it.
He does the worst thing I've ever seen when he points his gun at the rush of students who are all fighting to get out of the cafeteria alive.
The hairs on the back of my neck lift and my stomach drops when two people fall to the floor and everyone's screams become even louder as they all shove each other through the double doors.
When the last of the students have exited, he points one of the guns at me. “You—get the bag from under the table and pull out all the bungee cords. Then, I want you to secure the doors shut with them. I'll be watching you so make sure you make it nice and tight. Got it?”
When I nod, he digs the gun into Kit's temple. “If you run out those doors, I will kill her and then him. Their lives are literally in your hands right now, four eyes. Understand?”
My hands shake as I pull out a black bag with the word Police on it. A moment later, I locate the bungee cords and my eyes connect with Kit's.
“Please don't,” she chokes out and my heart clenches.
“I'm not gonna run,” I assure her. “I promise.”
Sorrow slams into me when I pass the two students' bodies on the floor. The sorrow spreads through the center of my chest and coils when I recognize one of them. Her name was Kelly and I tutored her in Physics during the start of our junior year. She had a dog named Rooster and her favorite color was purple, something I only know because all of her binders and notebooks were purple and she wore the color for good luck on test days.
And now she's dead.
“No one move until those doors are secured,” the guy with the gun barks. “Then we can get this party started.” He looks at Preston and his eyes narrow. “Maybe I'll take another bite of a juicy apple off the Holden family tree and make it a real party.”
Preston glowers, Kit gasps, and I almost drop the bungee cords I'm tying around the door because I realize exactly who Kyle is now. The sick bastard who tormented Breslin and blackmailed Asher for all those years.
I try and control my breathing but it's near impossible, because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm not going to make it out of this cafeteria alive.
I finish securing the doors just as the elevator on the opposite side of the room chimes. There's a photography classroom along with a dark room and studying lounge above us and my heart jumps to my throat because whoever is on that elevator has no idea what's awaiting them down here.
The horror on Eddie’s—an exceptionally talented photography student—face when the doors open and he sees a man pointing a gun at him is nothing short of a nightmare.
A nightmare that only gets worse when Kyle pulls the trigger and fires two bullets, causing his large body to drop between the doors of the elevator.
The smell of gunpowder and the sounds of poor Eddie gasping for what I know are his last breaths has my blood whooshing in my ears as I stagger over to them.
“Now that that's all taken care of,” Kyle says as he walks around the room, dragging a sobbing Kit with him.
Suddenly, he stops and focuses on me. My body locks up and I brace myself for the impact.
He sucks his teeth, looking me up and down. “You know, I'm not sure what to do with you.” He gestures to Kit and Preston with the gun in his right hand. “The bestie and the brother are valuable assets in my revenge plan. But you? You serve no purpose, which means you're dead weight in this scenario. Pun intended.”
To say I'm confused would be an understatement, and I know Kit and Preston are too. Clearly, he has no idea about my relationship with Asher or Breslin—something that might work to my benefit if I play my cards right.
Cards that turn right around to bite me in the ass because he says, “Which means you have to go.”
“Wait,” Preston and Kit yell as the gun in his right hand shifts to me.
“What do you want, Kyle? Tell us and we'll do it,” Preston says.
“Unless you kill him,” Kit adds jutting her chin at me. Our eyes connect at that moment and I've never been more grateful to someone in my life.
I can see Kyle mulling it over in his head before shrugging. “We're all gonna die today anyway. What's a few more minutes.”
Preston visibly swallows. “What exactly do you want before that happens?”
A smile stretches across Kyle's face. “Call your brother and tell him about the little predicament you’re in. Make sure you put him on speaker phone so I can hear the agony in his voice as he pleads for your life.”
“Okay,” Preston says, inhaling deeply. “I can do that, no problem. But first, can I ask you for a favor?”
Both me and Kit exchange a glance, because who in their right mind has the balls to ask a person holding people at gunpoint for a favor?
The look on Kyle's face tells me he's thinking the same thing. “What?”
Preston gestures to Kit. “Let me trade places with her.”
I have absolutely no idea what to make of the look passed between Preston and Kit then. Or the reason behind Preston's request.
Kyle scratches his head with one of the guns. “Look, I'm not interested in whatever star-crossed lovers shit you two have—”
“We're not lovers,” Kit interjects. “I don't swing that way.”
That response has Kyle rolling his eyes. “Christ almighty, I don't think you people understand the meaning of the words not interested or dead.” He sighs. “Fine, but no funny business. Make it snappy.”
“I owed you one,” Preston mumbles to her as they exchange places.
Gun to Preston's head now, Kyle walks them backwards, stopping when he reaches a wall near the elevator. “Call Asher.”
Preston pulls out his phone and a moment later, Asher's deep voice fills the room through the speakerphone, causing a cavernous hole in my stomach.
“I was just about to call you,” Asher says. “Don't go to Woodside today, there's a shooter on campus and the police called—”
Kyle hits Preston with the gun, urging him to start talking. “Yeah, I know. Because Kyle Sinclair is currently holding me at gun point in the cafeteria.” He looks at Kit. “Kit's here too and—” He looks at me and I silently plead with him not to tell Asher that I'm here.
I know Preston's a gambler and from what Asher told me, he's intelligent. Since I can't outright tell him about the plan I'm currently working out in my mind, I hold his gaze and roll the sleeve of my shirt up, hoping he's both smart and perceptive enough to understand the meaning behind it.
I have an Ace up my sleeve.
It was a long shot, but I can practically see the wheels turning in Preston's head. “Yeah, that's pretty much the situation right now, brother.”
I can hear Asher's heavy and panicked breathing on the other line before he says, “Kyle, I know you're listening right now. Tell me what you want and I'll make it happen. I'm driving to the campus, I'll be there in less than five minutes. Let Preston and Kit go, they don't deserve this.”
There's muffled crying over the speaker then and my heart folds in on itself because I know it's Breslin. “Please, Kyle don't do this. Take me instead.”
Rage splashes across Kyle's face and he scowls. “Tell that stupid bitch to shut the fuck up before I make her friend’s murder long and painful instead of quick and painless.”
Beside me, Kit goes rigid.
Asher mumbles something to Breslin on the other line and a moment later she's quiet. “You don't have to kill anyone. We can work this out, I know we can. Talk to me about what's going on and tell me what you want. I'm listening.”
Kyle laughs maniacally. “You know, I thought killing Breslin would be enough. This way, I could make you both suffer for what you've done. Her for being a dumb trailer whore that took you from me, and you for still being obsessed with a dumb trailer whore when you know how much I love you.” His forehead creases. “I hid out in the cafeteria today hoping I'd spot her, because we all know that was Breslin's favorite place to hang out in high school and it was only a matter of time before she'd show up.”
He chuckles to himself and I have to stuff my hands in my pockets so I don't walk over and wrap them around his neck. “But then an opportunity presented itself and I thought to myself—Self, there's a better way to make them both pay. I can kill the two people they love the most. This way, you'll both have to live the rest of your lives with the agony of losing someone you love. Then maybe you'll know how I felt, because you'll feel that ache every moment of every day.”
“Kyle,” Asher says calmly. “That doesn't have to happen. I know you're hurting and I know you're upset. I get it. But it doesn't have to be like this, you can still have what you want. I'm standing in the parking lot of my dorm right now. Come and get me. I'm yours.”
I watch with bated breath as a flash of hope lights up Kyle's face before his eyes turn wide with panic. “Too late for that now. Do you hear that?” The sound of sirens in the distance are becoming louder and acid rises in my stomach.
Those sirens are both a blessing and a curse.
“You had your chance, Asher,” he continues. “I loved you so much but you blew it. Now it's game over. The only way any of us are coming out is in a body bag.”
Both Asher and Breslin start begging for Preston and Kit's lives then, which only causes Kyle to grin sadistically before he begins shouting at them with so much vigor the veins in his neck bulge and the barrel of the gun pointed at Preston tilts up to the ceiling, instead of directly at his head.
I'd breathe a sigh of relief, but the other gun, although wavering slightly, is still pointing at me and Kit.
Jesus. I look over at Kit who's shaking and then at Preston whose shoulders are slumped in defeat.
There has to be some way to stop him. Or, at the very least, save them.
My finger brushes over the insulin syringe in my pocket. Turns out there's a better plan than the one I was conjuring up. That plan consisted of telling Kyle all about my relationship with Asher at the last moment in hopes that he would become so enraged he'd attack me, this way Preston and Kit could make an escape.
That plan was too risky, not to say that this one isn't, but at least this one involves a weapon, albeit a shitty one.
I lock eyes with Preston again...and then I turn my head to the left...zeroing in on the elevator that's a few feet away. The one currently being held open by poor Eddie's limp body.
The elevator is their best bet because there's no way they'll be able to untie those bungees on the door in time, no matter how preoccupied Kyle will be.
Preston raises an eyebrow in question but when I look back at Kit who's so distraught she's not paying attention, and then to him again before my stare falls on the phone in his hand that Kyle's still shouting into—I think he gets what I'm insinuating, because his eyes open wide and he starts to shake his head.
I narrow my gaze in response, because this isn't up for negotiation. This is the only chance they have.
Preston takes a deep breath and I unscrew the cap to the syringe inside my pocket and get ready.
There's a million in one chance that this will go off without a hitch and won't end with all of us dead. But the thing is, our fates have already been sealed, because according to Kyle, we're all going to die soon anyway.
And at this point, I'm pragmatic enough to realize that a mentally ill person who's at the end of their rope—one who's so blinded by hate, jealousy, and torment—isn't going to spare our lives when he doesn't even value his own anymore.
Kyle's still yelling incoherent things and I know I better make this quick, because pretty soon this conversation is going to be over for good and we'll have lost our one and only chance to fight.
Preston gives me one final look...and then he drops the phone and it goes silent.
“Pick that up,” Kyle barks, his focus now on the ground, which means he doesn't realize his crucial mistake until it's too late.
The second Preston starts to sink down, I pull out my needle and charge at him full force, stabbing him in the eye.
He howls in surprise and pain and the gun in his left hand drops when he instinctively tries to pull the needle out of his eye...just like I was hoping he would do.
I reach for the gun on the ground and point it at him at the same time he fires a shot in the direction of the elevator that Preston's dragging Kit into.
“Landon,” Kit cries out as Preston shoves Eddie's body to the side and the doors close.
Kyle staggers back, gun on me now. “Landon?” he questions. “You—”
He doesn't have a chance to finish that statement because I pull the trigger as many times as I possibly can.
Evidently, luck is on my side after all, because it's the entire magazine. All seven bullets.
The sound is so deafening and the feeling of killing someone is so chilling I become dizzy as I watch his body slump down the wall.
I go to run out the door, but a deep burning sensation pumps through my chest, like hot metal searing through my skin. It's so intense, I collapse on the floor.
It's only then that I realize Kyle shot me.
Fear ripples through me as blood starts soaking my clothes. I try to put pressure on the wound, try to prevent the blood from pouring out but it's near impossible. It's gushing out of me quicker than I can stop it. Like a hole that I can't seem to plug no matter how hard I try.
The sirens which were once becoming louder seem so faint now...until it's eerily silent.
My eyelids feel heavy and even though I don't want to close them because I'm afraid of what will happen—I do.
Suddenly, the physical pain doesn't feel so bad anymore...but the emotional pain becomes overwhelming...because I know I'm dying.
When you wake up in the morning, you never think the day ahead of you will end up being your last day on earth.
You never assume that simple things, like having lunch at school with a friend, will end in your death.
You never realize how trivial things really are...until you're struggling for your last breath.
Twenty minutes ago, my biggest problem was being jealous over Asher and Breslin's relationship—and now—it's that I'll never see them again.
I'll never get to tell them how much I love them—because your life can change with every heartbeat.
And while I wish I could spend my last few minutes alive thinking about all the good things I've had in my life...I can't.
Because I'm too busy thinking about the people I'm going to miss and the things I didn't get a chance to experience in this lifetime.
I don't want to die.
I want to graduate college.
I want to sit at my piano, creating and playing music that moves people to tears.
I want to take my girlfriend to Europe and see her gorgeous smile when we find that tent she loves so much.
I want my boyfriend to kiss me in public like he promised.
I want my second chance to live, so I can do it right this time.
But that's not the way the world works, people die every second of every day. And right now, I'm one of them, no matter how much I don't want to be.
Terror rushes through me when I see my brother Levi's face, and even though he's telling me not to be scared and that it's okay, I know it's not, because I'm not ready to leave.
Blood fills my mouth and my body shakes as my heart starts to pound out my favorite rhythm, followed by my favorite melody, for what I know is the last time.
I'm so glad they found each other once again, because their song is so beautiful. It soothes me as I start to float away and I never want it to end.
A wave of comfort envelops me with my last breath...because I know that where I'm going, it won't.