Chapter 53 (Landon)
I run my fingers through her hair as she sleeps beside me in the hospital chair. The soft red strands feel like silk and I can't help but skim her soft pale cheekbone next.
I don't realize my mistake until she wakes with a jolt and her eyes open wide. “Are you okay? Do you need anything? What's wrong?”
For the past six days Breslin hasn't left my side. She also hasn't slept, eaten, or talked about anything deeper than the weather or hospital food.
She thinks I don't hear her at night when she cries and sobs for forgiveness, but I do. And no matter how many times I try to tell her that she has nothing to be sorry for...it goes in one ear and out the other.
“Nothing is wrong,” I tell her. “I'm sorry I woke you.”
I just wanted to touch you because I miss you.
She waves a hand and stands up. “It's not a big deal.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. “You look hungry. I'm gonna run down to the deli downstairs and get you some actual food. Do you want anything in particular?”
I open my mouth to decline but then Bertie the nurse walks in and Breslin waves at her before she skips off.
Bertie looks in the direction of the door. “That girl hasn't slept more than five minutes at a time since you've been here.”
She motions for me to stick out my arm and tisks. “Poor girl is going to end up running herself into the ground.”
“I know,” I say as she starts to take my vitals. “That's what I'm afraid of.”
Bertie sighs just like she always does whenever we talk. “On the bright side, I hear you're getting out of here in a few more days.”
I give her a grin and waggle my eyebrows. “I walked around by myself today.”
The first few days were the hardest, but I can feel myself getting stronger every day and I can't even pretend that I'm not ecstatic about it. I know exactly how lucky I am to be sitting here right now and it's something I won't ever forget.
She starts to smile but then lets out a whistle when Asher walks in the room, wearing a suit.
“Back off, Bertie. He's taken,” I tell her and she laughs before leaving.
“Hey, you,” he says as he strides over to me. Before I can return his greeting, his lips are on mine. My heart flips as he kisses a path from my jaw to my ear. “I love you.”
I press my hand to his chest where his heart is hammering wildly. “I love you, too.” When he plops in the chair next to my bed I say, “I take it you went to the funeral and said goodbye?”
A hint of amusement dances behind his eyes briefly before they turn sad. “I did.”
I press the button on my hospital bed, raising it. “You okay?”
He leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “Preston skipped town.”
“What? Why?”
“I think he's in trouble again. I tried to tell him I would take care of it, but he took off anyway.”
“Shit,” I whisper. “Maybe he'll come to his senses and come home soon.”
He leans back. “That's what I'm hoping for.”
I reach over to touch him but then Breslin walks in the room. “Sorry,” she says, slowly backing away. “I'll give you two some space.”
“Breslin,” my voice comes out sharp and she stops in her tracks. “Come over here.”
Asher's attention turns to her as she walks in and even though she tries to avert her gaze, there's a magnetic energy between them that's undeniable.
Asher sits up in the chair. “Hey.”
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and places the bag of food on the table beside me. “Hey.”
He gives her a small smile and I can sense the touch of sorrow in it. For the briefest of moments their eyes meet, like two ships passing in the night before Breslin looks away.
I scoot over on the bed and pat the spot next to me. “Sit.”
This will undoubtedly be awkward—but sometimes you have to have the messy and complicated to get to the good.
When she's next to me, I tuck her to my side. “I don't forgive you for sleeping with Asher.”
She stiffens and her eyes brim with tears. “I'm so sorry—”
I place my finger over her mouth, silencing her. “I know, Breslin. That's my point. You shouldn't be sorry and you don't need my forgiveness for sleeping with someone you love.”
She looks at Asher and then back to me. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Me either,” Asher whispers.
“I know,” I tell them. “Things got out of hand between us before I left for England. But if I'm being completely honest—I was insecure about you two from the very beginning...and that was on me. I had good intentions when I first suggested that we should all be together. But the more time that passed, and the closer you two got, the more jealous I became. There was a huge problem in our relationship, and that problem was me.”
“No,” Asher interjects. “It wasn't all on you, Landon. I was just as much a part of the problem.”
Breslin worries her bottom lip between her teeth. “Me too.” A tiny wrinkle forms between her brows. “How do we make this work now? After everything that happened how do we —”
“We keep trying,” Asher cuts in. “We don’t give up.”
The space between us all tightens and then sizzles with charged energy as we lock gazes, a silent agreement made among the three of us.
My hand finds the scar on my chest and immediately I'm transported back to that moment. “Do you know what I kept thinking about when I was on that cafeteria floor?”
Breslin's face contorts in anguish and I kiss the top of her head before shifting and looking at the both of them. “That I was never going to get a chance to tell you both how much I loved you again.”
I suck in a breath. “I don't want to ruin my second chance and make the same mistake. When it's my time to go for real, I don’t want to be thinking about how much time I wasted on being jealous or about all the things I never got to do.” I reach for both of their hands. “When I die, I want it to be with a smile on my face—because I'll know that I spent my time making every moment count with the two people who mean everything to me.”
My fingers find the spot on their wrists where their pulse is beating rapidly. I close my eyes as the beautiful rhythm and melody coarse through me, wrapping around my heart and squeezing.
“What are you doing?” Asher questions.
I look at them both and smile. “Listening to my favorite song.”