Chapter 42 (Landon)
I jump when I open my eyes and come face to face with Callum, the bassist for The Resistance. “Bloody hell,” he says. “You were completely arseholed last night, mate.”
“Surprised he woke up alive,” Jude, the singer, comments from across the large hotel suite.
At least I made it to a bed this time. The other morning I woke up in the bathtub, an experience I wouldn't recommend to anyone. My back still hurts.
I look around and sigh. It turns out that The Resistance has absolutely none when it comes to partying hard after our shows. No matter how big or small the performance or venue, there's always a party in a hotel suite.
Every single part of my body aches when I sit up and swing my legs over the large bed. Maybe I did overdo it last night. Or rather, these last few weeks if I'm being completely honest. I can practically feel my liver begging me to take it easy.
My heart stops when someone rolls over beside me and I turn my head to find some sleeping, scantily clad blonde who I don't recall ever meeting. “Please, tell me that I didn't.”
Jude and Callum shake their heads. “You didn't, mate. We wouldn't let you cock up and stray on your boyfriend and girlfriend.”
Relief fills my chest and I thank them. For a bunch of partying rock stars, they really are stand-up guys. I'm gonna miss the camaraderie we've built when I leave in a few days.
Callum takes a sip of what looks to be beer and grins. “She was my guest.” Jude shrugs. “And then mine.”
I rub the knot that's starting to form in my neck. Unlike me, they seem to have the art of sharing down to a science.
We all watch as Freddie, the drummer, stumbles into the room a moment later.
He scratches his stomach and his eyes zero in on me. “You gave everyone quite a show when you went full monty last night,” he informs me.
“While singing God Save the Queen,” Jude adds.
“Fuck my life,” I mutter and they all laugh.
“That rang a few times last night,” Freddie says, pointing to my cell phone on the nightstand.
When I look, I see that I have one text message from Breslin and three missed calls from Asher. Along with a voice mail.
“Are you going to ring them back today?” Callum asks.
I walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. “I don't know.” I unscrew the top and take a sip. “Considering we only have one more show before I go back, I probably should.”
“You can't avoid them forever,” he says. “You need to either learn to deal with it, or let them go.”
I rub my eyes and stifle a yawn. Callum's right, I need to find a way to deal with what happened, because partying and getting drunk for three weeks straight did nothing to help clear my mind. Whenever I close my eyes, I still see them together. Which is all kinds of messed up because technically they have a right to do whatever they want with one another, whether or not I'm around.
I squeeze the bottle in my hand and throw it across the room. This whole thing would be easier to deal with if it was just about sex...but it's so much more than that. It's about their connection and how it threatens my individual relationships with them. I just don't know how to accept it.
When I approached them about a relationship, it wasn't contingent on them only dating me. It was for all of us to be together. And in the end, it was my fault that everything got messed up between us because I didn't think about the overall outcome of our situation, which is just plain stupid on my part because it was fucking inevitable that this would happen.
And yet, I didn't think about—correction, I didn't want to think about—what would happen when their old feelings for one another resurfaced. Or rather, when Breslin's old feelings resurfaced because Asher's were always there. He made that perfectly clear from day one.
The worst thing in this shitstorm is that I know Breslin in particular feels guilty. Which at first, I wanted her to, because her guilt assured me that she still loved me in some fucked up way. But now? It only serves to prove what an asshole I've been. She doesn't deserve to feel bad about what happened, and neither of them deserve to be ignored.
I need to get my shit together before I go back to the states if I have any hope of this working out, because I want it to work out with us. I love them both so much I'd do anything in the world for them. They're my family. They're who I want by my side, no matter what.
And even though I have no idea where the chips will fall when I get back, I do know that pulling my head out of my ass is the first step in the right direction.
I check my text message from Breslin first and my heart pangs when I see the picture of the piano Breslin and Asher got me with a caption that reads: 'I miss you so much.'
I go to respond, but then I decide to walk into the bathroom, take a piss, and listen to my voicemail. “Hey, rock star, call me back when you get this. I have some really exciting news to tell you.”
The sound of his voice flows through me. He sounds so happy I can't help but smile.
Until I check the clock and grimace, because it's the afternoon here, which means it's morning over there, and Asher's probably sleeping in since the first day of classes are tomorrow.
I hold the phone up to my ear and take my chances anyway.
“Hey, you,” I start when I hear him pick up. “Sorry I didn't call you back sooner. I've been kind of a giant douche lately and I'm sorry. What's the big news?”
All I can hear is heavy, frightened breathing on the other line and my heart falls to the floor. “Asher?”
“Landon.” His voice comes out strained and dread washes over me.
“What's the matter? Talk to me.” When his breathing becomes even more panicked, I say, “I'm right here. But I need you to tell me what's going on so I can help you, okay?”
“My dad,” he chokes out. “He's been in a bad accident.” I close my eyes as he continues. “I tried calling my mom but the maid said she's on a cruise and Preston isn't answering his phone. It's really bad and they need me to go there and make—” His breathing goes shaky again. “Decisions about...” his voice trails off. “I don't have anyone I can...I don't think I can do this.”
Oh, fuck. This is bad. Even though I hate Asher's dad for what he did to him, I know that Asher still cares about him and there's no way I'm letting him go through this alone. “I'm catching the next available flight.”