Chapter 26 (Breslin)
I raise a brow at the note Asher drops on my desk. We're currently sitting in our Intro to Ethics class and it's all I can do not to transport back to the events of last night as Mrs. Rogers goes on and on about Hedonism and The Experience Machine.
Just when I'm about to open the note, her stare snags on Asher. “If you had a chance to go inside a machine and have all your hopes and dreams come true and experience nothing but pleasure and live your most satisfying life, would you?”
I turn to look at him but then she proposes the same question to me.
It's on the tip of my tongue to point out that she's asking a girl who grew up in a trailer park with an addict as a father and was lucky if she managed to get one decent meal per day, but instead I look her right in the eyes and say, “No,” at the same time Asher says, “Yes, in a heartbeat.”
Her eyes crinkle at the corners as she surveys us. “You both understand this pleasure would be simulated and you wouldn't actually be interacting with anyone?”
“But according to this machine I wouldn't know that,” Asher counters. “Sometimes ignorance can be bliss.”
I take a breath past the lump forming in my throat. “Or painful. Sometimes ignorance can be painful.”
I see Landon sit up straight in his seat and Mrs. Rogers studies us both intently.
“Ignorance isn't painful, Breslin,” Asher whispers. “It's the experience and awareness that's painful.”
I have absolutely no argument for that, because he's right.
Mrs. Rogers goes back to her lecture and Asher points to the note on my desk.
Against my better judgment I open it: You're still thinking about last night, aren't you?
Check the appropriate box:
☐Fuck yes.☐Hell yes.☐I'm going to need a repeat performance to make up my mind.
I roll my eyes and give my head a shake.
A smirk spreads across his face right before he passes me another note: I think I understand that line in the song Glycerine now. You know, the one about having a beautiful taste. Because you're gorgeous, Breslin. Every single part. Every. Single. Drop.
My chest and cheeks break out into a flush and my mouth goes dry. I take out my pen and scribble my own note back to him: Wow, someone is laying it on thick.
He grins as he writes back a reply and tosses it back to me: A thickness you're well aware of. ;)
I can't help but laugh as I write my response, but as soon as I do my heart twists because these are the moments I miss him so much it hurts. :God, you're cheesy.
He laughs into his hand, those beautiful dimples on display as he writes on the paper and gives it back to me: I totally am. But cheesy or not, it's true. Now answer my first note. I'm dying over here, baby.
I open his first note again and hover my pen around the boxes. I time it perfectly so by the time I pick one, the class has ended and students are filing out. I stand up and stick the note in my bag. “Sorry, I have to meet Kit for lunch.”
With that, I turn, but not before Asher sticks another note in my hand.
I wait until he and Landon leave the classroom to open it.
I wish I could have given you the experience machine, Breslin. I wish I could have given you everything you ever wanted.
I close my eyes and exhale as I walk over to the trash can and throw away the paper.
Me too, Asher.
Kit releases a sigh and turns back to face me. “They're still staring at you.”
I stab at a piece of lettuce with my fork. “I know.”
Even from across the cafeteria I can feel both Landon's and Asher's eyes on me as they eat their lunch.
She takes a sip of her soda. “Okay, that's it. The suspense is killing me. What is going on? You haven't slept at the dorm the past two nights, and no offense, but you look exhausted.”
“I'm not exactly sure,” I tell her. “But I don't want to talk about it right now.”
She opens her mouth to speak but then clamps it shut, her eyes widening as they shoot across the cafeteria.
I pivot in my seat to see what's caught her attention, and that's when I see Preston Holden walk in. I assume that he's come here for Asher, but when all he does is give him a nod as he passes his table and heads in our direction, I'm all sorts of confused.
My eyes fall on Asher and he shrugs, looking just as perplexed as I am.
Preston sits down in front of us but his eyes are stuck on Kit. I have no clue why he's here right now, but when I make to stand to give them some privacy, Kit squeezes my hand under the table and I sit right back down.
Preston's hand grips the back of his neck and he pulls something out of his pocket. He then slides it across the table to her and I realize it's the same jewelry box that Becca's engagement ring was in.
“Give this to someone who deserves it next time,” Preston says and something passes in their gaze.
When he stands up, her expression turns even more dour. “How's the baby?”
He looks around the room and lets out a sigh. “Baby's good. We had our first sonogram today.”
Kit draws in a ragged breath and nods.
“I'm sorry,” Preston says solemnly in her direction before he exits. And that's when Kit loses her composure completely and has a full-on breakdown right there at the table.
I stand up and wrap her in my arms, shooting dirty looks to all the people staring at us as I usher her into the nearest bathroom.
I'm mad at Preston for showing up today and upsetting her like this, but I'm so crazy angry at Becca for being such a dirty, rotten whore and hurting my best friend that I'm seeing red all over again.
“I'm so sorry, honey,” I whisper as she sobs in my arms. “I wish I could take it all away.”
“Me too,” she chokes out as her hand tightens around the jewelry box. “This was my mom's.”
My heart hits the floor and I can't help but shed a few tears along with her now. Kit's parents died in a plane crash when she was only eight. And unlike my parents, hers were amazing and they were all super close. The fact that she proposed with her mom's engagement ring proves how serious she was about Becca.
Dammit that fucking bitch didn't deserve her.
After a few minutes, she walks over to the sink and washes her face. “I have to get to class.”
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, because I can't help but wonder, as crazy as the thought may be. “Is there something going on between you and Preston?”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “What? No. What the hell is the matter with you?” She points to herself. “Strictly pussy over here.” She snatches some paper towels from the dispenser and grits her teeth. “I can't believe you'd even think such a thing. Let's put it this way—if an asteroid hit the earth, leaving only me and him to repopulate the planet or face my untimely demise via being eaten and probed by aliens...I'd gladly skip toward the aliens and thank them.”
I guess that settles that then. “Look, I'm sorry—”
She glares at me, her pretty face taking on a maroon color as she stomps away. “I don't want to talk about it right now.”
Before I can say another word, she bolts out the bathroom door.