Chapter 27 (Asher)
She twists away. “No, you can't look at it, Asher.”
Everyone else has left the art studio, but Breslin wanted to stay after to work on our, should I say, her project. Which of course, means I wanted to stay behind with her.
I try and look over her shoulder again but she swivels on her stool and turns the easel. “I'm not done, yet.”
“Just a little peek.”
She grumbles something under her breath and holds the paintbrush in her hand. A moment later, her eyes zero in on the canvas—and off she goes in her little world.
I swear on everything that I could watch her paint all day and night. The way the tip of her tongue darts out of her mouth as she concentrates with such precision. The way those green eyes of hers damn near sparkle every time her paintbrush touches the canvas.
She illuminates when she creates. Her and Landon both do.
Some time later she looks at the clock on the wall and jumps up. “Crap. I wanted to check on Kit before tonight.” I don't miss the pink hue her cheeks take on after she says the word tonight.
I stand up and start cleaning up her art supplies. “Go, baby. I've got this.”
Her teeth dig into her bottom lip. “Are you sure? I mean I can—”
“Go check on your friend,” I insist, and because I can't help myself I let my gaze roam down her body. “I'll see you later.”
Nerves and heat splash across her face briefly before she heads for the door, only to pause and look back at me. “Promise you won't look?”
I shoot her a smile. “No.”
She mumbles a curse as she closes the door behind her and my smile gets bigger. Ever since last night things between us have been...oddly better. Things between all of us have been better and I can't wait to have a repeat performance again tonight.
My entire body stills as I remember—it's Landon's night.
I tried getting him to spill what was on his agenda during lunch today but he wouldn't. He just smiled and hummed to himself as he went back to studying.
I take a deep breath, because I know that since the ball is in Landon's court, the last thing he would do is hurt us. That's not my boyfriend's style.
I pause again as a million questions plow into my brain. Is Landon my boyfriend? Am I his? Is Breslin his girlfriend? Is she mine?
I know what I want. But unfortunately, those are questions I can't answer without all parties involved.
Sighing, I steal a glance at Breslin's latest portrait.
My heart wells up with pride and amazement. She painted me on the field, football in hand, capturing my expression right before I throw it. I know this because I always look up to the sky, close my eyes for a split second, and take a deep breath. It's kind of a spiritual moment for me...one I didn't think anyone ever noticed because it happens so fast.
But Breslin noticed.
I make quick work of gathering up the supplies she used and head over to the sink, my head still spinning.
I'm washing my third brush when the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and an eerie feeling washes over me.
Setting the brushes aside, I chance a glance at the door, only to find it ajar—which is funny because I could have sworn Breslin closed it on her way out.
She did close it on her way out.
I grab my gym bag and jet out of the art room. I'm not a pussy, it's just that ever since that fucking video surfaced, went viral, and people did nothing but point, laugh, and stare at me for months on end—I hate the feeling of being watched. And if I'm not careful to get out of an uncomfortable situation entirely, I chance being hit with a full-blown anxiety attack, which of course, only makes my nerves worse—because God only knows the shit people will talk about the 6'4” football player that's crumpled in a ball on the floor fighting to breathe.
The night air greets me as I step out of the building and walk across the courtyard, the eerie feeling of being watched only seems to get worse with every step I take.
Despite the few people hanging out in the courtyard, I start counting my steps, estimating how many I have left before I reach the dorm building across campus.
My little trick isn't working though because my heart only seems to pound harder.
When a hand clasps my shoulder, I lose it completely and shove them away. “Get the fuck off me!”
“Whoa,” Landon says, taking a step back, concern marring his face. “What's going on?”
I look around, the few people around us seem to be going about their business, oblivious to my freak out. “Were you just in the art room by any chance?”
He shakes his head and points in the direction of the library. “No. I just got out of a tutoring session.” He takes a step closer. “What happened?”
“I got a weird feeling as I was cleaning up and kind of freaked out.” I hike my bag up my shoulder and start walking. “Didn't mean to snap at you.”
He starts walking along side me. “No apology necessary. You got spooked, it happens to the best of us.” He reaches for my hand. “I'll walk you back to the dorms.”
I pull away from his touch, since we're not out of people's eyesight. “Dude, what are you doing? We're still in public?”
He looks around. “Forgot we're still on school property. Thanks for looking out.”
“Right,” I say, hoping it covers my fumble, because Landon getting in trouble wasn't on my mind when I pulled away.
Landon stops walking abruptly. “If we weren't on school property would you have pulled away like you did?”
One of the things I love most about Landon is how direct he is. I don't feel like I need a manual to decode anything with him because he just tells you how he's feeling and exactly what he's thinking. But right now? Yeah, right now I kind of hate it.
I go to answer him, but my moment of hesitation causes his jaw to tic. “I knew it.”
I scrub a hand down my face. “Knew what?”
“Me being a TA aside, you're never going to hold my hand or kiss me in public, are you?”
“I've never been one for PDA,” I start to tell him and his nostrils flare.
“Bullshit.”
He's got me. “Okay, fine. I'm just not really comfortable with affection in public.” I close my eyes. “Or rather, I'm comfortable with it, but there are tons of people who aren't and I—”
“Would you kiss Breslin in public?”
My eyes pop open with his question. I don't want to lie to him. “Yes.”
He looks down at his feet. “She means more to you than I do.”
“What?” I take a step closer to him. “Landon, you know how I feel about the two of you.”
He looks up at me. “Then I deserve the same.” He starts to walk away. “But hey—I guess it's good to know where the guy that I love stands before I spill the beans about my sexuality to my parents.”
I press a hand to his chest, halting him. “You're coming out to your parents?”
He nods. “Within the next few weeks, yeah. I came to the decision the other day when Breslin told me not to let anyone ever make me feel disgusted or ashamed about myself. I don't want to keep my feelings for you or Breslin a secret anymore. If it wasn't for me being a TA, I'd shout it from the rooftops.” He laughs. “But thanks for letting me know that I'll always be your dirty little secret.”
My heart cracks and pangs with his statement, for two reasons. One—I can't deny the jealousy I feel over the fact that Breslin said that to him...yet she walked out on me. And two—Landon's not my dirty little secret and I don't want to ever make him feel like that. So, he's right, he deserves the same kind of respect that Breslin does in that regard.
I throw my bag on the ground and push him against the wall of the building. It's nearly pitch black where we are and no one is around us, which is good because we are on school property.
He gives me a look, but I slam my lips against his. “After we graduate, I'm going to kiss you just like this in public,” I say before I take his mouth again.
“Promise?” he questions, gripping my shirt.
I work my way down his jaw line and then back up until I'm hovering right over his ear. “I swear it.”
He smiles and I give him another kiss before I pick my bag up. “Now walk me back to my dorm so I can grab a change of clothes before we head over to your apartment for the night.”
When he starts walking beside me, I shoot him a look. “What exactly are we doing tonight by the way?”
A cocky grin spreads across his face. “You'll just have to find out.”
My body jolts at the thought of all the wicked and sexy things Landon has planned for us.