Chapter Forty-Five
Daphne
Jace and I talked for a long time. By the time I left, I’m sure he had no doubts that I didn’t do this maliciously. But, he was still worried about how it would all come out and torn up about what to do about it.
I hated seeing him that way. I felt helpless and really angry with Bethany for stabbing me in the back. I called her as soon as I got home, but she didn’t answer. I left her a message and just asked her to call me back. I didn’t want to ask her anything in a message. I wanted to hear her voice when she told me that she did this, and why.
The next morning as I was straightening up after breakfast, she called me back. “Hey, girl! What are you doing?”
“I’m just straightening up, what about you?”
“I just came from my work-out. It was a good one today. It kicked my butt, though.”
“I’ve been thinking about joining a gym. How do you like yours?”
“It’s okay; there aren’t many in town, but I think this one is the best.”
I couldn’t do this. I just had to get it over with. “Did you go to the Diocese about Jace after you promised me that you wouldn’t?”
“What?”
“Please don’t act innocent here, Bethany. Who did you tell?”
She was quiet for a long time before she said, “I’m sorry, Daph. I’m so sorry.”
“Who did you tell? You promised me.”
“I know! I’m so sorry. I’m just a big gossip. Sometimes I don’t think before I open my mouth.” She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Good, maybe it will make her think before she opens her mouth next time.
“Bethany, who did you tell?”
“This woman at the gym. She and I were talking, and she mentioned him…out of the blue. She said their church had a new priest and I said, ‘Oh, ours, too.’ We figured out we went to the same church. Then it just slipped out.”
“It slipped? How loose are your lips?”
“Daphne, I’m so sorry. Please, don’t hate me. I never meant to hurt you…or him, honest.”
I was furious with her, but at the same time, I could see that as with me telling her and starting this whole thing, she really didn’t have any malicious intent.
“Daphne, what happened? How did you know I told someone?”
“Because that someone went to the Diocese and Jace has been stripped of his duties while under investigation.”
“Oh, shit!”
“Yeah, you got that right. Poor Jace is a wreck. I’m so scared for him. He’s a good man, he’s just been confused and it wasn’t entirely his fault. I’m scared for him.”
“Oh, damn! I’m sorry. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I am so sincerely sorry.”
I was on the verge of telling her she had done quite enough when I stopped myself. She didn’t mean to hurt me or Jace. Jace and I had to accept the consequences of our actions and it wasn’t Bethany’s fault. “I don’t think there is, but thanks,” was what I ended up saying.
I could hear the relief in her voice as she said, “Please call me if you hear anything.”
I didn’t hear from Jace for the next few days. I knew he was struggling and he was probably busy with the investigation, but a text or two would have been nice.
I felt like I was losing my mind sometimes, and at the same time, I was relieved that I hadn’t heard from the church yet. I didn’t think I could lie when in a room face to face with a bishop and a couple of priests. I would try, for Jace…but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t do it well.
Since they hadn't called me, I was beginning to hope they wouldn’t. Maybe they haven’t figured out yet that it was me. I didn’t think Jace would ever tell them. I might know that better if he would talk to me.
The church, unfortunately, is one of the biggest gossip mills around and I hadn't heard anything there yet. No one seemed to know what was going on. I did hear that it had been announced Jace would be away for a while, but never said why. There was a visiting priest covering for him.
I didn’t hear any of that first-hand. I got it from my customers who knew I attended their church.
I hadn’t been to church in a couple of weeks. I wanted to hear that they never found out, or they did, before I showed up with a scarlet letter on my chest. I did not want to find out when people were already whispering and giggling about me as I walk by. It wasn’t that I really cared what they thought about me, but I hated to think about the things they would say about Jace.
Then there was the simple fact that I missed him so badly that I ached. I was probably just being paranoid, but I was afraid that if people saw us together, I wouldn’t be able to hide how I felt.
So with all of this playing in the background, I went to work and I went home and I worried myself almost to death.
I also had to wonder why I couldn’t just stay away from him like this in the first place…then we wouldn’t be in this place. Maybe I hadn’t stayed away because then it was just lust. Lust is hard to ignore…but now I was pretty sure I loved him and staying away was what was in his best interest, and I wanted him to be happy more than anything.
I was pretty sure I was hopelessly, madly, head-over-heels in love with him and I was also pretty sure that he loved me, too.