Chapter Four
Chance
I shook my head at the paper I was grading. Some of the facts were inaccurate, the writing was weak, and the charts and graphs that had been included were outdated. Mildly frustrated, I set it aside, taking note of the name on the assignment. Even a few weeks, I still couldn’t attach names to faces. But then, it wasn’t as though I was really trying to in the first place. I wasn’t interested in making friends of my students.
I was about to start on another paper when I heard a knock on my door. A moment later, Lindsey walked in. She was one of the biology professors on campus, and she had been one of the first members of staff to befriend me. She was young, attractive, straightforward, and invitingly flirtatious, and I wondered why my interest in her was limited to a platonic friendship.
“Grading papers?”
“It’s a nightmare,” I complained. “Half of these papers are terrible.”
Lindsey grabbed a paper from the top and looked through it. “You’ve set them a tough first assignment,” she noted.
“I wanted to get the measure of my students.”
“And, they’re not impressing you?”
I smiled. “Some are actually,” I admitted. “More than I would have thought. It’s just that the bad papers are really bad.”
“Cut the students some slack; this isn’t the easiest subject.”
“Which is why they should have thought twice about choosing it.”
She laughed. “Man, you’re a hardass.”
“I don’t like wasting my time.”
“I can see that,” she nodded. “And I must say, this no-nonsense attitude of yours is intensely sexy.”
I smiled, noticing the way the top two buttons of her blouse had been left open to expose a hint of cleavage. She was a very attractive woman. In fact, she was exactly my type, so it confused me a little as to why I was so disconnected. I enjoyed the flirting, but I never felt the desire to take it further than that.
“Have I spilled something on my blouse?” Lindsey asked, alerting me to the fact that she had caught me staring.
I met her gaze. “I was just…appreciating the view,” I said honestly.
“I thought that was what you were doing,” she replied, with a wink. “Feel free to admire the view from a closer angle.”
“Unfortunately, I have more papers to grade.”
Lindsey’s smile didn’t falter. She was not one of those women who were likely to take rejections personally. It was another reason I liked her. It would have made a lot of sense for the two of us to hook up, and yet, I was reluctant. My thoughts flitted instinctively to the dark-haired girl who always sat in the front row of my lectures.
She was easily the best student in my class. She answered most of the questions I put forward, and I knew that she was one of the few students who actually did their readings, research, and paid attention during the lectures. I still didn’t know her name, however, and given the number of lectures and classes I taught each week, it wasn’t likely that I could pinpoint her paper amongst the many that were piled on my desk.
“Chance?”
“Sorry,” I said, turning my attention back to Lindsay.
“Where did you go?” she asked curiously.
“I was just thinking of the departmental meeting coming up,” I lied smoothly. “I hate those things. They drag on for hours.”
“I don’t see why you of all people should hate them,” Lindsey said, and there was a hint of teasing in her tone.
“Why me of all people?”
Lindsey shrugged. “You’re popular, especially among the senior staff. Elaine and Monica are big fans.”
I laughed. “That’s good to know,” I said. “I’ve always had a thing for older ladies.”
“That’s good to know,” Lindsey said suggestively. “Especially considering I’m five years older than you.”
“How long have you worked in this department?” I asked.
I knew it would sound like I was changing the subject, but I was genuinely curious. Lindsey shifted in her chair, and her blouse opened up a little more. I could see the swell of one perfect breast, and I waited for the little tingle of desire that usually overcame me anytime I was in the presence of a particularly attractive woman, but nothing came.
“Three years,” she replied. “I taught at a community college for two years before that. And, I really enjoyed it there, but then…”
“Then?”
“I was forced to leave.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Sounds intriguing.”
Lindsey laughed. “It’s not really,” she said. “I got involved with the dean, and…let’s just say our relationship was not the healthiest. We ended up hating each other’s guts, and I decided that keeping my job wasn’t worth the torture of seeing him every day.”
“Ah.”
She shrugged. “Everyone has one of those stories, though.”
“I suppose you’re right,” I nodded.
“Any standouts for you?”
“Only one,” I admitted. “My college girlfriend. It ended so badly that I’ve stayed away from all relationships since then.”
“No way,” Lindsey said. She sounded amused more than shocked.
“It’s the lifestyle that suits me best,” I admitted.
“Well, well… You and I have more in common than I would have thought,” she said.
“Apparently so,” I nodded. “Did you always want to teach?”
“I came to it late,” she admitted. “But I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll achieve tenure.”
“Is that the goal?”
“Isn’t it yours?”
“I don’t know that I can see myself living in the Midwest permanently,” I said. “After a few years here, I might decide to relocate.”
“Where to?”
“I’d like to try out London for a year or two,” I said. “Or maybe even Florence. But I loved Asia, too, so maybe I’ll try the eastern continent again.”
Lindsey raised her eyebrows. “How many countries have you lived in?”
“Quite a lot actually,” I nodded. “Nepal, South Africa, Japan, Spain, and Greece. And, I’ve traveled to many other places besides. I’ve been to London and Florence before, but only for a couple of weeks.”
“Wow,” she said, looking impressed. “I knew you’d done some traveling, but I had no idea how much.”
“I don’t think I have it in me to stay in one place for too long,” I said.
“But you came back to the States?”
I hesitated. “Yeah… I moved back last year,” I nodded. “My father passed away, and my sister needed a little help.”
“Oh,” Lindsey’s tone shifted a little. “Were you close with your dad?”
“I… My sister was closer to him than I was,” I said evasively. “In any case, my contract here is temporary. I have one year and then—”
“Off to the next country on your list?”
“Pretty much,” I nodded.
“So, it seems women aren’t the only thing you refuse to commit to,” Lindsey pointed out.
I smiled. “So, how are your classes going?”
Sensing that I was done talking about myself, Lindsey allowed the subject change. “Pretty well. I have an interesting group of students this year.”
I frowned, wondering if there was a hidden meaning underneath that sentence. “Had many consultations yet?”
“Lots,” Lindsey nodded. “My door is always open to my students.”
I smiled. “Sounds like you and I have opposite teaching methods.”
“You don’t encourage your students to come to you?”
“Nope,” I said comfortably.
She laughed. “You just get sexier and sexier.”
I smiled. “Obviously if anyone came to me, I would do my best to help out. I’m just not going to feed them answers to questions they should be researching on their own.”
“Fair enough,” she nodded. “Still, there’s something to be said for the interaction between a teacher and his student. It can help motivate them. I could always give you some pointers?”
I smiled. “I think I’ll pass.”
“Suit yourself,” Lindsey said good-naturedly. “But like I tell my students, my door is always open.”
“Yeah, I bet the boys love hearing that.”
She winked at me. “College boys are so easy.”
“Don’t you mean stupid?”
“You’re cruel,” she said, shaking her head at me.
“I like to think I’m honest.”
“Honesty… Such an overrated quality,” Lindsey said, with a wave of her hand. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I don’t mean to chase you out of here, Lindsey,” I said, as politely as I could. “But I still have thirty-seven more papers to grade before tomorrow.”
With an understanding smile, Lindsey rose from her seat. But instead of walking towards the door, she moved around the desk towards me until she was standing between my legs.
“I was thinking…maybe we could get together sometime after work?” she said. “Just you and me?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Ah…”
She leaned in until I could see the tops of her breasts. They were near perfect, and yet still I remained detached and unaffected. “What do you say?” she asked seductively. “Just two consenting adults having a little non-committal fun?”
I smiled. “That’s a very tempting offer…”
“But?”
“I need to focus on getting my bearings here,” I said, as gently as possible. “I think I just need to focus on my teaching for the moment.”
Lindsey smiled and straightened up. “I understand,” she nodded. “But if you ever change your mind…”
“I will definitely let you know,” I nodded.
“Good boy,” she said. She gave me a small wink and left my office, leaving me to contemplate the mysteries of my own psyche.
Why did I turn her down? It is the kind of offer every guy dreams of. It isn’t every day you meet a woman who has the same mindset you do. My mind jumped back to the dark-haired girl, and I wondered if she was the reason I was reluctant to get involved with Lindsey. I dismissed the thought immediately as being ridiculous.
She wasn’t even my type, and I was honest enough to admit that I liked my women tall, hot, and outgoing. I turned back to the stack of papers and pulled the topmost paper towards me. I read the introduction of the paper three times before finally realizing that I had lost all concentration for the rest of the evening.
I remembered something one of my college friends had told me in our freshman year. “It’s the quiet ones you need to go after – underneath all that quiet, there’s a wild animal waiting to be unleashed.”
I thought of the dark-haired girl and wondered if that was true in her case. I couldn’t help but wish it were. I started to fantasize about her, letting my baser desires take control. I started to wonder what she looked like underneath those baggy clothes of hers. I wondered what her body would feel like underneath me. I wondered if she screamed when she came.
My fantasy was so vivid that I felt myself harden. I got up and walked around to the window next to my desk. I opened it up and let cold air stream in, hoping that would calm me down and get the girl out of my head.