Chapter Twenty-Two
Megan
“Thinking about Phil again, aren’t you?” Marta asked, wagging her eyebrows at me.
I looked at her in surprise. “How did you know?”
“Because whenever you think about him, you have this big dopey smiled on your face,” she said, giving me a wink.
“I do not,” I said defensively.
“Oh, girl, you sure as hell do,” Marta nodded. “Every time.”
“Oh God,” I said, putting my face in my hands. “That is so embarrassing.”
“I think it’s cute.”
“Oh God!” I said again.
She laughed. “I take it things are going well?”
“Very well.” I nodded. “We’ve been having so much fun together and when I’m over at his place, it feels like we’re…”
“We’re what?” Marta asked when I tapered off.
“Well, it kind of feels like we’re married.”
“Is that something that interests you?” she asked.
“I’ve never really thought about it before,” I admitted. “But I suppose since meeting Phil, I have been having these dreams.”
“Wedding dreams?”
“Kind of,” I admitted. “Lame, I know.”
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s not lame to dream about marrying the man you love,” Marta said.
“It’s way too soon,” I said. “We’re not even living together really, and Phil’s job keeps him so busy. I don’t think he’d have the time to get married, even if he wanted to.”
“Maybe you should ask him?”
“What?” I said incredulously. “That would just freak him out.”
“What if it didn’t?” she asked. “What if he was thinking the same thing you’re thinking?”
“He’s not,” I said immediately.
“Are you just afraid to hope?” Marta asked.
I smiled. “You know me too well,” I sighed. “I suppose I am a little. I just… I love him so much, and I can’t imagine not being with him.”
“I predict you’ll be engaged before the year is out,” Marta said confidently.
I laughed. “Whoa…just because I’m fantasizing about it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen anytime soon.”
“Try being a little positive, Megan,” she said. “Good things will happen if you are.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, shaking my head at Marta.
I had just finished lunch when my phone started to ring. The number was unknown, but I picked up anyway. “Hello?”
“Collect call from Jefferson Prison; do you wish to accept this call?” an automated voice asked.
I felt myself freeze. Was this some sort of joke or just a random mistake? I hesitated for a second before replying, “Yes.”
There was a small disturbance, and then someone said my name. “Megan?”
“Who is this?” I demanded.
“It’s me, Megan,” the voice said. It was so familiar that I had a sinking feeling in my gut. It couldn’t be… It just couldn’t be.
“Phil?” I said, in disbelief.
I was aware of Marta glancing over the low partition to look at me. My tone had probably caught her attention, and my expression was probably not much better. Unable to compose myself, I rushed towards the bathrooms where I was sure I wouldn’t be overheard.
“Phil, what’s wrong?” I said. “Is everything all right?”
“Not really,” he replied.
I stopped walking before I could get to the bathrooms. My mind was reeling, and I was starting to feel panicky. “What do you mean, not really?” I asked. “Phil, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he said quickly. “I mean, physically I’m fine.”
That didn’t make me feel any better. “Why are you calling me from jail?”“Megan, I don’t have much time, okay?” he said, in a rushed voice. “They found drugs in my apartment.”
“What?” I said, in shock.
“There was crystal meth and cocaine,” Phil said. “They found it in my apartment.”
“You’re doing drugs?” I said, in disbelief.
“No, no, of course not,” he said quickly. “I’m not doing drugs.”
I blinked. “Wait… Oh my God… Have you been dealing drugs the whole time we’ve been together?”
“No… Megan, please…”
I felt as though someone had just knocked the wind right out of me. I wanted to cry. Of course, he had been too good to be true. He wasn’t the perfect Prince Charming I had assumed he was… He was just an actor. He wasn’t denying that drugs had been found in his apartment and how else could they have got there?
“I can’t believe you,” I said angrily, cutting him off. “You told me you didn’t do drugs.”
“I don’t,” he insisted.
“Okay, pardon me, you don’t do drugs, but you deal them then?”
“Of course not—”
“Oh my God, I’m such an idiot,” I said, feeling the tears rush up to my eyes. “I was so blind. You told me everything… You told me you dealt drugs, you and your brother.”
“Wait, that was years—”
“Sure, that’s what you told me,” I said. “But apparently, the drugs in your apartment say otherwise.”
“Megan—”
Before he could finish his sentence, the line went dead, and I realized we had been cut off. I paced up and down the hallway in front of the bathrooms, wondering how I was going to get through this day. How could this be true of Phil? He was a decent guy… He was a fucking fireman. It just didn’t make sense.
And yet… maybe it didn’t make sense because I didn’t want it to mean anything. I had been so in love with him right from the get-go that I had believed him completely when he told me about how he had turned his life around.
Twenty minutes later, I still hadn’t managed to calm down. I was still pacing when Marta found me. “There you are,” she said.
She stopped short when she saw the state I was in. “Darling girl,” she said, in a motherly voice. “Are you all right? What happened?”
Seeing the concern on her face, I just broke down. She hugged me tight and patted my head until I had calmed down enough to string a sentence together without sobbing.
“Phil just called me,” I told her. “From jail.”
“What?”
“He’s been arrested for possession of drugs.”
“No.”
“I can’t believe I fell for his lies.”
“Are you sure that the drugs are his?” Marta asked.
“Who else could it be?” I said. “I knew his past… He dealt drugs when he was younger, and his brother went to jail for it, but when he told me he changed his lifestyle and stayed away from all that shit, I actually believed him. He lied to me, Marta…”
“Oh, honey… What did he call to say?”
“He claims he’s innocent,” I replied.
“Did he give you a reason to back up that claim?”
“No,” I said, even though I didn’t mention that I hadn’t given him the opportunity to back it up. “Marta, I don’t know if I can get through work today.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, putting her hand on my arm. “Go into Kevin’s office and tell him you’re sick. I’ll vouch for you. You can take the rest of the day off.”
Grateful for the suggestion, I went in to see Kevin with my excuse ready. Because of my swollen face and my pale skin, Kevin believed that I was sick easily enough and let me off work, much to my relief. I gave Marta a quick thank you as I headed out, and then I went straight home. I walked through the door, ready to collapse onto the sofa and cry my eyes out when I realized that Brent was home.
I wiped away my tears hurriedly, upset that I wouldn’t have the privacy I craved. Brent looked carefully at my face, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide this from him.
“Whoa… Who died?” Brent asked, straightening up a little.
“Have you heard?” I asked.
He frowned. “Heard what?”
“About Phil?”
Brent looked even more confused. “What about Phil? Did he save another cat or something?”
“He’s in jail,” I said, in no mood for jokes.
Brent stood up. “What?”
“He called me from there,” I stammered. “He was caught with drugs.”
“No fucking way,” he said, shaking his head.
“He says he’s innocent—”
“He’s not.”
“What?” I said, looking up at Brent’s confident expression.
“You really didn’t know he was dealing?” he asked me.
I looked at my brother in shock. “Wait… He was dealing? You knew this?”
“Of course.” Brent nodded. “Where do you think I got my pot from? But trust me, all I ever get from Phil is pot. I don’t buy any of the harder stuff he sells.”
“Oh my God,” I said, feeling light-headed.
“Why don’t you sit down?” Brent said.
I sat down slowly and shook my head after a moment. “Are you saying that Phil was your dealer?”
“Yes.” Brent nodded. “I thought you knew.”
“Why would you assume that?” I demanded.
He shrugged. “You were sleeping with him, weren’t you?” he said. “And, you seemed so close, I thought he had already told you, and you were cool with it.”
“You know I hate drugs,” I said. “That’s why I leave every time you smoke.”
“I just thought you hated me,” he said. “I figured that’s why you avoided me.”
I looked at Brent and wondered if I’d been unfair to him this whole time. Had I been a terrible sister, so involved with my new romance that I’d forgotten all about what he might have been going through?
“I don’t hate you, Brent,” I assured him. “I was just…”
“Preoccupied with Phil?” he said before I could finish my sentence.
“You should have told me.”
“You spoke to Phil more than you spoke to me,” he pointed out. “How was I to know that he hadn’t told you?”
“How long has he been your dealer?” I asked, scared to hear the answer.
“Since we met,” he replied. “That’s how we met, actually.”
I shook my head. “That’s not what Phil told me,” I said, feeling the tears resurface.
I felt more than betrayed, I felt completely and utterly disappointed. The perfect image I’d had in my head of the kind of man that Phil was had completely disintegrated and I wondered if I had myself to blame for all this. I had obviously been naïve. I had obviously been so thrilled that a guy like that had been interested in me, that I’d shut my eyes and believed him wholeheartedly.
I remembered the ex-girlfriend that we’d run into on our first date together. I wondered if he had told me the truth about her, too. What if their relationship went deeper than Phil had first told? I started to question everything…and it scared me how perfect my memories were.
“Hey don’t feel bad,” Brent said. “Phil’s always been a dick. He’s always lied to his girlfriends—it’s why he and Anna broke up.”
“Anna?” I said.
“Yeah.”
I sighed. “Is that the reason your friendship with Phil has been a little strained lately?” I asked.
Brent raised his eyebrows infinitesimally. “That’s exactly the reason,” he nodded. “I wanted to make sure he was treating you right, and I guess he didn’t like the fact that I was checking up on him all the time.”
“Did he tell you he had told me about the drugs?”
“He implied it,” Brent nodded. “Which is why I just assumed…”
“Right,” I said, turning away from him. “This day is the worst.”
“Hey, how about we make something to eat and just chill?” Brent suggested. “We’re both in need of some comforting.”
“You need comforting?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “My business turned out to be a bust.”
“Oh,” I said. “I’m sorry, Brent.”
He shrugged. “I’ll try again one day.”
I gave him a half-hearted smile, wondering if I would be willing to try another relationship again one day. Somehow, I felt that even if I did, I would never feel about another man the way I felt about Phil.