BRONX:

Holy shit!

Things just took a turn for the worse or, the better, I did not know.

Wow.

If we hadn’t been interrupted, what would have happened? Fuck, I know where I'd have taken her, right in my gym. Room five.

I dropped her off, and after Shay gave Ed a piece of her mind for calling me, he gave her the paperwork that she would need and everything she needed to do and could expect over the next few weeks since she wanted a custom gun.

As we left, she said, “So do my defense lessons continue or do I need to go to another gym?”

God, she was beautiful.

I craved to touch her skin again, but I really needed to fix some shit first.

“Whenever you want?” I moved her hair out of her face. “I'll be out of town for the next few days, but when I return, lessons can resume.”

Her face fell momentarily and then she was back to normal.

“Hmm, right,” she said with a bit of sarcasm.

We were at her car where she was leaning against the open driver’s side door. I walked into the small space pushing her against the car.

“What’d I say?”

Her breath hitched, but I still invaded her space, standing inches away and bent down, so our noses were touching.

“What did I say?” I repeated.

“You're going out of town,” she breathed.

“And,” I coaxed.

“We’ll resume then.”

“Okay,” I said. “I got to get some shit in order, so this can be right. It has to be right.”

“Okay.”

“Okay then. I'll see you when I get back. Surveillance will be on you and folks will be watching.”

“Kay, Bronx.”

My lips briefly caressed hers then I pulled away and opened her door wider. 

Before I left town, I stopped by Razors to let him know where I was at. He was at home with Kylie cooking dinner. I was just over there yesterday where we simply hung out. Apparently, Shay had stayed the night and left earlier on Sunday. It made sense. Razor and Kylie, they were cool and familiar.  There was no pressure, no fuss, just family eating dinner and drinking beers. Their love felt contagious as I'd been content with dealing with the occasional lay. But yearning for someone who was off limits was not a life I wanted to live anymore. It was one I deserved, and I was being selfish, but she was the only one I wanted.

“So you're headed out?” Razor asked as we drank our beer on the porch.

“Yeah, man. Just need to handle those things before I take what's mine.”

He chuckled, “Man, I'm happy for you, brother. Been a long time.”

I nodded. It was about to be four years.

Razor was showing his dimples which meant he was really happy.

“Yeah, also, Kylie and Shay have both gone through some foul shit. Kylie has it, Shay has some, but I'm thinking the Guardians can sponsor some sort of self-defense or mixed martial arts classes. We can have it at the gym, and the first few can be free or some shit like that. But they need to be prepared.”

“Agreed. Let's do it. No Guardian would oppose that. We’ll officially vote but get it in motion.”

I nodded.

“Alright, brother.”

“Tell Kylie I said to watch my girl, please.”

“Of course.”

*****

THE RIDE TO HERSHEY was quicker than I expected. According to Theo, Shelly lived with her husband and a pair of kids.

To say I wasn't nervous would have been a lie as I hadn't seen her since our wedding day. Then, I didn't have the courage to face her and even now, it was difficult to look at my biggest failure in the face. The one I left behind and even though it could be seen as a blessing in disguise, leaving someone at the altar or not showing up was the ultimate cardinal sin.

I crashed at a motel the night before and the next day after some observations and everyone came home, I went to face the music.

The couple lived in a nice townhouse on the rural side of the Hershey, Pennsylvania. They had two cars, the oldest boy looked to be in junior high the other one in middle school.

I knocked several times, and a little boy came to the door.

“May I help you?” He looked like his mother.

“Yes, I'm here to see your mom.”

“Your name?”

“I'm Blair Wilson.”

“Wait here please.” He closed the door and locked it back.

I was impressed, the boy was extremely polite, and clearly he was taught proper safety protocols. He knew what to ask, what to say and what to do.

A few moments later, the woman who had haunted my dreams opened the door with a tall man next to her and a concerned look on his face.

Damn.

She looked the same, even after two kids. Her long auburn hair was still down her back, her shapely figure was intact, and she still had those funny eyebrows. They were wild and untamed, but it was cute on her.

“I don't fucking believe it,” her mouth said and remained opened. “What in Billy’s hide do you want?”

“Just to talk,” I said. “Just wanted to talk.”

“Come on in,” the man beside her said. “It’s dinner time and looks like you’ve traveled some ways.”

Shelly turned to her husband, but he gave her a look that told her to stop.

She said, “Wait.” Then stepped outside and smacked me right across the right side of my face.

“Mama,” one of her kids gasped.

Shelly turned to me and said, “Now you can come in.”

I almost laughed. It wasn't even two weeks ago, Shay slapped me across the face, and now this was my second hit. I was not faring well with the ladies.

“Sorry about that, I'm Jose, the husband. I know who you are.” He smiled. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“You as well.”

The youngest boy was ushered into their dining room to eat their dinner, led by the oldest teenage boy. Then the three of us migrated to the kitchen and sat at the counter.

Shelly suddenly looked exhausted as Jose made plates for each of us.

“Ran across your brother the other day,” I said, starting the conversation.

She swiveled to me and Jose continued to watch his wife closely.

“Yeah, he didn't mention it,” she retorted.

“Don't think he wanted to upset you,” I nodded. “You look good, Shelly.”

“She does, doesn't she,” Jose chimed in.

I nodded at him.

“What do you want, Blair?” She turned towards me.

“Just wanted to ask your forgiveness.” She gasped, but I kept talking. “I don't deserve it and been paying for it for sixteen years. The most cowardly thing that I've ever done, and it's haunted me ever since. You've haunted me, and I just want your forgiveness.”

Tears flowed from Shelly’s eyes as she tried to blink them away. Jose moved to her side, pulled her into him and rubbed her back. He whispered something in Spanish to her, and she nodded her head.

“When I found my wife she was not in a good place. She felt rejected and was downtrodden. I told her then and even now, the guy didn't know what he had, and I thank God you didn't. It's my blessing.”

My head nodded in agreement.

“You,” I lifted my hand, “were perfect. I loved the idea of you. You balanced me, affirmed me, but I was lost, Shelly. I couldn't find my way, and it wasn't your job to help me. I would have brought you down. We wouldn't have had a nice house,” I gestured with my hand towards the roof. “and two beautiful kids who actually have manners.”

They both laughed.

“It had nothing to do with you. You were always perfect, and I was just too flawed.”

More tears streamed down her face, and then she jumped from her husband to hug me. I held her until she calmed down.

“I won't apologize for the smack,” she said as her hands wiped the tears from her face. “I always said when I saw you, I'd do it. But I'm so glad you came by, Blair. You'll never know what this means to me.”

“Me either,” Jose laughed. “You can't have her back.”

It was my turn to laugh, then I said, “No, I just want her forgiveness.”

She hugged me again and said, “I do forgive you. I had a long time ago. Jose taught me how.”

I let her go and shook Jose’s hand.

“Thanks, man.”

He smiled a wide, toothy grin and said, “No, thank you. Now stay for dinner. We have plenty.”

The food was excellent, their kids were well mannered, and the company was great. Jose and I hit it off so well that I told him about the Guardians and our goal to expand. He told me to definitely let him know because he was interested. We exchanged information, and as he put the kids to bed, Shelly walked me to the door.

“So, who is she?” she asked when we both were on the porch, and the door was closed.

I laughed out loud.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked.

“When a man is in love? Oh yeah. He’d do anything to keep that love, even hash up old shit from the past and rectify it,” she chuckled. “Yeah, it's obvious.”

I nodded and contemplated my boots.

“Yeah, she's someone I’ve known a while and never let it go there.”

“Ouch. You've really been denying yourself, huh?” She cringed.

“Don't get me wrong, I've been no church mouse. Just never gave her all of me.”

“I understand,” she nodded. “Go and do that. You're missing out on so much! That love, Blair.  There's nothing like it.”

“I can see that.” I kissed her on the forehead. “I can see that, now.”