APOLLO:

The plan wasn't even complete yet and already something went wrong and I hadn’t the faintest idea. Lori seemed to be over the kissing thing at her house with the boots, which I shouldn't have bought in the first place but seeing her face and the way she hugged them to her chest. I wanted to buy a pair every single week.

That small lapse in judgement, coming over to her house at night wasn't good because we were starting from scratch and at the same time, I just wanted to see her face light up. I kept my distance but fully expected to spend some time with her at the party. How that got fucked up, I had not a clue. When we’d spoken she seemed fine and was informing me about Shay's party.

Retracing my steps mentally, I had gone back over to the guys and hung out for a few.

Donna showed up because Razor tapped me and muttered, "Here comes trouble."

She’d said she missed me, was upset that I had gotten another nurse and that she thought she meant more to me. Of course, she did all of that with her hands all over me.

That had to be it.

I told her I was unavailable and attached. She guessed that it was the short-haired gal and I didn't confirm or deny that but she went about her way. That was when I saw Lori dancing with some guy and went to cut in. She was cold and aloof; then she tried to be chatty.

Fuck.

I stayed at the compound that night because I could have seriously hurt something and the way my skin was flushed, nerves were shot and heart was aching, I would have gone to jail. The next morning though, I was pounding on her door at eight in the morning.

I couldn't sleep, so I stopped by the nearest coffee place, grabbed a couple of cups of Joe and went to wake her ass up.

"Open up." I kept banging and after ten minutes, the door cracked open.

"What?" she croaked.

"Let me in." I stepped closer.

"It's eight in the morning, I'm tired and don't want any company," she uttered in a husky voice.

"Lori, you got one chance to open this fucking door or I'm kicking it in." I kept trying to calm myself down but I was livid.

"Okay, okay," she said as she pulled it open. "What's the emergency?"

Pushing the coffee towards her, I walked into the living room and said, "Sit and we're going to talk. I've tried to do this your way. I've tried to do it alternate ways but I keep missing something. I'm done." I glared at her. "Sit your ass down and talk."

Surprisingly, she sat down, took a sip of coffee and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Why are you upset with me?" I asked. "Tell me the truth, Lori. I'm not in the mood to guess."

"You come barging in my house and tell me what you're not in the mood for?" she snapped back.

"Lori, what are you upset with me about?" I repeated slowly since my patience was hanging by a thread.

"Why do I need a reason?" she replied and I fucking lost it.

"Fuck!" I roared. "I'm so sick of this shit. Another man touches you and it drives me insane. I wanted to rip his fucking hands off. I don't want another man looking at you or thinking he has a chance at what's mine. That's why I spend my free time with you. That's why we're doing this whole thing because I wanted you to know me. I wanted to get to know Lori but if you're not honest with me, how can I ever know you? Me, of all people, you should be honest with."

Lori put down her coffee and her reddish coloring could have been from the hot coffee or her temper but I was not ready for her to unleash like she did.

"You of all people?" she screamed. "You single handedly annihilated my life with less than three sentences and you want me to share something with you! Ha! You're rich. Shit, that's just rich."

"No. No. You don't get to do that. You don't get to blame me for the shit storm that led down that path. I was wrong. I have apologized and tried to make amends over and over again. You won't let it go and it keeps being the thing that keeps us apart." I tried to reason with her.

This time, she shattered me.

The woman I’d completely fallen in love with, screamed with tears running down her beautiful but broken face, "You broke my fucking heart, Apollo!”

I didn't know whether to run away or to her.

"You broke my heart into little tiny pieces and you want me to get over that. You want me to put myself back together again and jump on the fucking wall again. I put myself out there before and fell and had to piece my life back. Now you think you know what you want and you want me to go back up that wall and wonder why I won't just blindly go. I'm not the insane one." Lori was literally screaming at me. "You move across the street and I stay up all night wondering if you've gone with that bimbo and why you haven't come home. Then I realize, I am displaying the same tendencies from before. Once again worrying about Connor Locklear and he doesn’t give two shits about me, my feelings or thoughts."

She nodded her head. "Yeah, you need to go."

"Are you shitting me?" I stood, holding my head. "I love you, woman. LOVE YOU! I'm not asking you to go back up there alone and take a plunge. I'm asking you to join me because I'm already there. Fucking heart has been aching all night and I've been working overtime to make you see me. The real me, not the inflated, infatuated me but the ‘me’ that loves you. That you're not in this alone and sweetness, I'm not going no goddamn where. You can't make me. You hear?" I stood up and moved towards her. "I'll follow you. I'll do the thirty-day program but I'll be back at your door. You can yell to the rooftop at Peppers that you hate me and that we'll never be but I will fight for us Lori, because I know what we can be together."

My voice broke slightly.

"I know you're mine. Ain't lived till I got to know you. Ain't done shit till the possibility of you in my life formed. So, do what you got to do but there ain't nothing that will convince me – you don't love me. I know you do. I feel it. Felt it before and mishandled that shit. You were too close but now, I'm fighting for us."

Lori's eyes were focused on the floor and her bottom lip was quivering when she muttered, "I don't love you."

"Lies." I cupped her face. "Tell me the real truth."

She looked up at me and tried to say it but her mouth just quivered and the tears flowed down her reddish-colored face. Her fingers gripped my shirt as she pulled me closer to her.

Her eyes looked up to me and she continued to cry. "Tell me this is real. I can't go through it again. I swear to God, I can't. My dream of being with Apollo died that night."

"I know, sweetness," I muttered as I held her chin up. "You'll never go through that again. Not on my watch. It's no dream Lori, and I swear to God, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Till the day I die, I’ll promise you that."

Lori's grip loosened on my shirt and she threw her arms around me as the tears continued to spill. In turn, I enveloped her in my embrace so she could do whatever she wanted as long as it took place right there.

After a while, Lori stopped crying so I loosened my grip a bit.

“Tell me, Lori,” I whispered as my forehead connected with hers.

Those tear-stained eyes rose to look at me, then she said what I was wanting to hear for a lifetime.

“Love you, Connor.”

Lifting her chin, my lips connected with hers. The kiss quickly turned into a frenzied mess as we battled to go deeper and our breathing grew heavier.

Putting an end to it all, I lifted her and those legs automatically wrapped around me as I took her upstairs. It was rushed, overdue, and fucking crazy.

Clothes were flying, ripping and dropping. I think I had one sock on and one boot as I kneeled on the bed.

“I'm clean. I’m clean,” Lori breathed.

“Me too. Tests are at the house.” I crawled towards her until my mouth was near her visibly wet pussy. “Fuck.”

My forefinger played around her lips as Lori leaned back and moaned.

“Come on,” she whined.

Shit, she was right. We'd both waited too long for this to play around.

Pulling up on my knees, I lined my raging hard cock with her welcoming entrance and pushed in. She was so tight; I didn't get far.

Her fingers started to rub her clit as I rocked back and forth to gain more depth.

“I'm about to come,” she warned.

“No, not yet.” I finally pushed inside. “Now.”

Lori’s mouth opened and nothing came out but her legs were shaking and she stopped rubbing so I kept grazing her sensitive clit with my thumb. Her knees tried to collapse but I continued to plunge in and out of her wet channel as she fell apart around me.

“Oh, God,” Lori cried. “Connor.”

“Yes, sweetness.” I grabbed her wrists, put them next to her head on the bed and powered into her as she moaned and yelled her delight.

When I felt close, I stopped and flipped us, so she was sitting on me as I sat up. I grabbed a chunk of her hair, pulled it down so her boobs were bouncing in my face. Licking, biting and slapping them into submission.

After letting her hair go, those dilated eyes met mine and she cupped my face to kiss me. It was sweet, sexy and all fucking mine.

Those hips continued to move in circles on me. Coupled with her tongue swirling in my mouth, I exploded inside of her tight pussy.

Lori settled with her forehead on mine.

“God,” she breathed. “That was a twenty!”

We were both breathing heavy and trying to catch our breath.

“Twenty what?” I asked.

“Oh nothing.” She started laughing hysterically.

My fingers were playing with her hair since she was still on my me. Then I realized what I hadn't figured out.

“You letting your hair grow out?” I looked at her.

“Oh, yeah.” She smiled.

“Why?”

“One of my friends told me he liked it long.” Lori laughed.

“I like him.” I kissed her lips.

“I do too.” She rubbed my scar from the bullet that grazed my neck and the other that hit my shoulder.

“This is from the situation with Bronx and Shay?” she asked.

“Yeah.” I tensed up because I wasn't sure what she was going to say about me killing a man.

“You're an awesome guy, Connor Locklear,” she said before her face descended and those beautiful lips kissed the raised skin from my neck to my shoulder.

My head fell back against the headboard as a wave of emotion rolled over me.  This fucking woman was kissing my physical wounds just as she was healing my emotional ones.

Shit.

I got it then. It made perfect sense why Razor and Bronx fell and fell hard. Why finding a partner who had the sight to see where you’ve been hurt, apply the balm and nurture you back to the person you were intended to be was what it meant to live free. These women deserved all the love they could ever get, had a right to it and if needed a man that would die to preserve that love.

Plain and simple.

****

WE STAYED IN BED ALL day, humping like rabbits or slowly making the other lose their mind with orgasms. Lori explored all of my tattoos with her mouth and wanted explanations for every one of them. I told her she’d really love the next one I planned to get. That’d be her next surprise.

Around ten that evening, we finally decided to leave the bed and go grab some food at the nearest open establishment which was a gas station. It was one town over but we rode my bike so the ride wasn’t that bad and having Lori’s hands wrapped around me with her body pressing against mine was an opportunity I wouldn’t turn down.

It still blew my mind that she was finally mine.

Fucking, finally.

It seemed like it took a long, twisted journey to get here. Her in my arms, laughing, sharing long looks and sweet kisses.

We purchased snacks, sandwiches and her favorite ice cream but this time, we bought two pints instead of sharing one. As we left the store, there were four guys standing next to bikes watching us. I grabbed Lori’s hand and pulled her behind me as we walked to the bike. She saw the threat and followed my lead. Instead of getting on the bike, I stood and said, “Evening.”

“This is Viper’s territory.” The tall one spoke up. “We don’t come on your land without notification, remember?”

I nodded and said, “We don’t come into each other’s territory to conduct business, yes. My old lady and I are getting fucking ice cream. That’s two different things.”

“New rules,” the tall, stupid one snapped. “Notification is needed.”

“Whose rules?” I countered.

“Viper’s rules,” he barked. “The real Vipers.”

“Put the shit in the saddlebags,” I whispered to Lori.

While she did that, I pulled my gun from the seat which they couldn’t see because she blocked their view.

Lori gasped, then I said in a calm voice, “Get behind me.”

“Viper’s don’t make those rules,” I announced. “The Pres does and I know for a fact, Razor hasn’t agreed to that shit, so don’t bull me.”

“You got a lot of mouth for a young cub out here all alone.” The bulky guy on the end stepped forward. “Hate for you to get fucked up in front of the little lady. Don’t worry though, we’ll take care of her.”

“Oh yeah.” The other one grunted.

“Get on the bike,” I growled to Lori before I stepped around and starting walking towards them.

“Apollo,” she pleaded. “Don’t.”

“Get on the bike,” I snapped back.

“You’re Apollo?” The tall one asked with his eyebrows pushed together.

“Who’s asking?” I kept walking towards them.

He pointed for his guy to back up before he said, “Ain’t fixin’ to start trouble. Just following orders. Didn’t see your patch over there. Just a fellow sergeant at arms.”

My pace slowed and then I asked, “What’s this shit about the Viper’s making new rules?”

“After that shit Haz started with y’all, the Pres is not happy about how that makes us look.” He nodded, then said, “Well, the club with rogue members and shit. Says there needs to be a presence.”

“Hmm,” I didn’t comment further because I’d let Razor handle this bullshit.

“Let’s go boys.” The supposed leader waved his hand in the air. “We’ll leave you to it.”

After they rode off, I came back to Lori who was sitting wide-eyed on my bike.

“What was that?” she asked.

“Club posturing,” I replied.

“No, what was with you going over there?” she asked with both her eyebrows up in disbelief.

“Lori, I don’t play those fucking games. Can’t say too much to or about me before I do something to shut that shit down. What they won’t do is threaten you. I’ll fucking kill them. Every one of ‘em,” I answered.

“Apollo.” She looked at me.

I pulled down my cut and my shirt to show her the scar on my neck and shoulder.

“My family comes first. Every time,” I said.

Lori threw her legs over the bike, slowly walked up to me and kissed me chastely on the lips before she whispered, “Take me home, honey.”

“My pleasure.” I tapped her hip.

****

“SO, IT WAS THE DEVIL’S Vipers that made that claim?” Razor confirmed.

“Yeah. Tall guy with a huge beer gut and said he was the sergeant of arms,” I informed Razor, Swag and Bronx. “He knew who I was by name.”

“Lori was with you?” Bronx asked.

“Yeah, that’s how they knew who I was because she called out my name.”

“Why?” Swag asked.

“I had the heat out and started walking towards the fuck who threatened to ‘take care of her’.” I crossed my ankles.

“Fuck,” Razor hissed.

“Yeah, those mother fuckers are some nasty bitches.” Swag had told us this before. “They do shit like that. They must have known about Haz and that you were the one to put him down. Surprised they didn’t retaliate.”

“I got the feeling they weren’t in agreement with Haz and the shit he pulled. They called him a rogue,” I relayed.

“Yeah, it’s an embarrassment.” Bronx shook his head.

All of us were in the Guardian chambers where the club meetings were held. I knew what they were contemplating and it wasn’t an easy decision. What would it take for us to go to war with those fucks? They had already started shit with Shay and that’s how Bronx got involved, fucked with Dessy’s ex, which brought her to Manor and then the ‘rogue’ one came and was trying to pay Bronx back for the ass whooping he brought on himself. He’s the one I put down and at that moment, Guardians were deciding if this was enough to send us to war with the club even though we knew there were other rogue operatives that were on the loose. They were being watched; Swag was heading up that initiative.

“We wait,” Razor finally said. “They backed off of you and for now, we keep watching. Because brothers, if we go to war, we need to be ready to go all the way.”

We nodded our heads.

“In the grand scheme of things, this was stupid but if they cross that fucking line; it’s on,” Razor continued. “Each of us have our own responsibilities and that is what we protect. Got it.”

“Got it,” we said.

“Adjourned.” Razor put down the gavel.

“So, you finally claimed Lori, huh?” Bronx asked.

I shook my head.

“Yup. All mine.” I nodded.

“Look at that fucking face,” Razor joked. “Looks familiar, huh?”

He and Bronx laughed at their inside joke.

“Swag, heard you met Vita?” I turned the attention off myself.

He put his head down and said, “You heard I fucked that up, too?”

The man chuckled to himself and shook his head.

“Well, yeah. Heard you called her a biker groupie and she lost her shit,” I answered.

Razor and Bronx burst out laughing again but at Swag.

“Shut the fuck up.” He threw a balled-up piece of paper at Bronx. “Brother, I fucked up.”

“I’ll say,” I laughed.

“Wait, which one was she?” Razor asked.

“The only one that was dancing to that Work song by Rihanna,” Swag offered.

“Oh fuck,” Bronx whistled.

“Damn,” Razor added.

“You gonna fix that?” Bronx asked.

“Man, not sure that can be fixed,” he answered.

“Listen, if my Lori can forgive me and fuck that it took almost a goddamn year, it can be fixed. But, it’s going to take some major ass kissing on your part. That’s for sure,” I told him. “Plus, she’s friends with Lori, so birds of a feather flock together.”

“Hope you’re right about that.” Swag rubbed his goatee. “She’s what I’m looking for. Tired of these pointless encounters.”

We all nodded in agreement.

“It’s coming man. It seems to be something going through the club this season,” Razor noted. “Bear is all caught up in Dessy, Lori and Apollo, I have no doubts Shiz and Dash will be next. Shit, I don’t know. If you’ve seen her, got that feeling about her, then fucking go get her.”

“Brothers, I think I will.” He laughed. “If I come back with my balls in my hand, you’ll know why.”

We all laughed as we made our way out of the compound to our individual homes. I was going to my home, where Lori was still wrapped in the sheets from earlier.

“Lori, Lori,” I called.

“In here.” She was sitting on the patio steps in one of my plaid button-down shirts.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked as I sat down next to her.

“Just thinking, imagining, and hoping.” She smiled. “This is a dream, right?”

“Hell no. This is the best heaven on earth I’ve ever had.” I put my arm around her shoulder; pulling her into me. “Don’t get better than this.”

She chuckled.

My face was in her neck as I took little nips and licks as she giggled.

“Thinking about our future?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she sobered. “At one point it was all I thought about but now it’s not a thought. Now, it’s about the how.”

“Here's the how,” I murmured before I put her on my lap. “I'm building, sweetness. You move in here, we get married, we have kids of our own to push on those swings, you work or don't. Either is fine with me and we keep building.”

“You got it all figured out, huh?” She laughed.

“Any objections?” I challenged.

She shook her head. “I have none.”

My hands started to roam all over her body and then I asked, “You're my date for the wedding.”

“Oh, no,” she exclaimed. “I can't. Promised Swag I'd go with him.”

“The fuck you're not.” My face was twisted in all manners of terror.

“Kidding. Kidding.” She laughed.

“Lori, there ain't much I'd go to bat against a brother for but you are one,” I said.

“I see.” She laughed. “He's kicking himself about Vita though. She's coming to the wedding, so, we need to get him to come.”

“I can do that. Think he's going to try to fix that,” I told her. “Told him it took me almost a year but if you'd forgive me for what I'd done, he should at least try with her.”

“Ah, good point.” Lori smiled. “It's been almost a year.”

My head nodded.

“Oh, you're talking about when I was away.” She laughed. “Man, that was crazy but it was needed.”

“Sweetness, this is a great moment but I need to know. What happened that night, is that something you do often?”

“What do you mean? I checked myself into rehab.” Her eyes widened.

“No, before you checked yourself into rehab.” My eyes studied hers, begging for her to tell me. “Why you were in a rehabilitation center.”

Before this she would have frozen up, but now I expected her to tell me.

“How'd you know about that?” she murmured. “Nobody but my parents know. Did my mom tell you?”

She tried to get up but I wouldn't let her.

“No.” I looked at her. “We have this discussion here. You're on me because no matter what I'll protect you, Lori. I got your back. Always.”

She nodded her head.

“That night I felt like shit for saying that to you. Shay was ready to murder me and Kylie was about to order the hit.” I shook my head. “On top of that I was feeling like shit for saying it so I swung by to check on you. By the time I got to your place, the paramedics had you on the gurney. I followed behind you and when your parents were asleep, I snuck in to see you and saw your chart. You had cut too deep and they found you just in time.”

My eyes were hazy as I thought about what that could have meant.

“You were there? I swore to God I saw you there. Felt you there but I assumed it was my delusion and decided that Apollo needed to die from my mind.” Lori was full out sobbing.

I held on like our lives depended on it, rubbing her outer thighs where most of her cuts were strategically placed.

“Yeah, I was there. I told you to forget about me. Let me die a miserable death without you cause I didn't deserve sweetness like you.” I kissed her forehead. “I wasn't sure if you were awake or not but I was trying to get you to let me go and now I’m trying to get you to keep me forever.”

I scoffed at the irony.

“I watched you from afar at the facility. You looked well. Even saw you walking some old lady through the garden on a few occasions.”

Lori laughed.

“She’s Mrs. Washington. The facility’s Mom. Reminded me of an older version of Shay but she was white. Said whatever she wanted, that lady.”

Tears were still running down her face.

“Yeah, I even saw that guy giving you looks. Figured he'd be better for you than me. I damn sure didn't deserve you. But between meeting him and that party, I knew different. I'd have to at least make amends. Fuck. Something, cause if anything, you’d need a friend who would put a man down if he fucked with you. That guy wouldn't and I didn't like that. You deserve for someone to put themselves on the line for you.”

“No.” Lori shook her head. “I don't want someone putting themselves out there for me. Not like that.”

“Sweetness, that's how it should be. You deserve that,” I told her. “You need an outlet, come to me. Need relief, come to me. Need a break, come to me. You need a break from me, you got your girls. Those two acquired a search party for you when you went missing.  Shay didn't talk to me for months until that day at the hospital. Not one word. Kylie occasionally muttered something but I got it. They didn't know where you were even though I did. I told Razor to get them to simmer down because I knew you wanted your privacy. No one knew but me and your parents.”

Wet droplets continued to fall as her face rested in my palm. She tried to talk but it was unintelligible.

“it's okay,” I tried to comfort her. “Psychiatrist and counselor. Are they in place?”

“Yes.” Her head nodded.

“Then you’re taking care of yourself.” I kissed her eyes. “You’re doing what’s needed.”

After several more deep breaths, Lori managed to whisper, “I haven't cut in almost a year. That night was it and I haven't felt a need to since. That's the reason I went to the facility. Nobody knows that except my parents and you. I've been vague with Shay and Kylie but I always feel bad. I want to tell them but I'm not sure how they'll judge me.”

My head nodded and then I said, “Shay is probably certified crazy but undocumented. She's admitted that she has similar tendencies like us, but she regulates them a bit more. Kylie is close behind her but the baby’s been slowing her down. I was addicted to pain medicine and Razor is the one that called me out on it. Bronx knows and others might have suspected but my point is, they're family. They know I've been to rehab before. Know what I've done in the past and what I'll do if my family is threatened. There's no how, they just won't judge you. Tell ‘em or don’t but know I got your back either way.”

“I know,” Lori said before she kissed my lips. “I know.”