LORI:

A couple of days before the wedding, I had all the girls over to my place where I made some of their favorite dishes. They all groaned and said, “Oh, this must be bad.”

Guessing, this was my signature move, I laughed but explained to them a little more about my history of mental disorders and the cutting. Specifically, what happened that night of the major incident.

“Now that makes more sense,” Shay nodded as she took it all in. “I was wondering why you had to go to a center but figured there was more to the story.”

“What made you decide to tell us?” Kylie asked with a hand on her stomach and tears in her eyes.

“Connor, uh.” I answered. “He, uh, said what you’ve both said before about sharing with those closest to you and using my resources.”

“Right,” Shay nodded. “We’re a family. Crazy but that’s us.”

All of us had tears in our eyes as we nodded and gave each other watery smiles. After some more explaining and telling the details they wanted about Connor, his sexual ranking and if I grew my hair out so he could pull on it, we fell asleep until their men stopped by to get them and Connor came to take me to his place.

*****

THE NEXT WEEKEND WAS Shay’s wedding which was short, sweet and to the point. Very much Shay. Her father and mother knew not to be as vocal as Kylie’s mom because Shay had already threatened that she'd elope and send them the pictures.

Dessy, Kylie and I were her bridesmaids. Shay said she would not pick between the two of us for her maid of honor, so she didn’t have one. Razor was Bronx’s best man, of course. It was a Guardian wedding, so everyone was in attendance and all of the members proudly wore their cuts if they weren’t in the wedding party.

Shay argued that the groom and groomsmen were not allowed to have their cuts on, so they had the emblems sewn on the back of the suit jackets. They had to wear slacks but their boots were allowed.

We ladies, had to dress all the way up but the wedding was short and simple. Shay and Bronx had their own vows and some insiders that we didn't know about. They both kept saying, “Just so there's no fuck ups or misunderstandings...”

They thought it was funny so we thought it was too.

Their wedding was a debut coming out party for Apollo and myself. We were inseparable; well he wouldn't let me leave his side.  He was constantly holding my hand and had me on his lap most of the time.

One of the busybodies cornered me in the bathroom and said, “Bout time.”

My blood spiked from zero to a hundred until she said, “Bout time you forgave that boy. He ain't know what he was saying. I swear men are dumb as rocks.”

My head nodded and she kept on walking. So, now the town was happy with me because I'd forgiven Apollo. There I was thinking they'd call me a pushover or desperate but I guess I made him pay enough. Prime example why I shouldn't live my life to the beat of other’s drums.

Returning to our table, I sauntered up to Apollo, whose eyes were on me the entire time. He stood when I was within arm’s length and my arms wrapped around his neck as his circled around my hips.

My lips met his and everyone started to cheer at our table. We were in our own little world and at that moment I just wanted to kiss him. Apollo pulled away and said, “What was that for?”

I smiled and said, “Fighting for us.”

His eyes grew wide, then he pulled me into him by grasping my neck.

“Y’all good over here?” Razor came over and patted Apollo on the back.

Apollo smiled at me but said to Razor, “We’re good, now.”

“Assuming y’all will be next.” Razor looked to me but Apollo answered.

“Fuck, yeah.”

I laughed and kissed him on the lips.

“Apollo is on a mission.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I'm not standing in the man's way.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be wise, babe.” Razor chuckled.

"However, he will need to get through to the parents." I patted Apollo on the chest. "You can't spank them into submission, like you threaten to spank me."

We all laughed, while he nodded, recognizing that he actually couldn't bully his way into their affections.

"You'll figure it out." Razor clapped him on the back and left us alone.

"Where do you want our wedding?" Apollo asked.

"Right in your back yard, where you worked, day and night for the future that you want. It should be right there. Wedding, reception, everything." I smiled.

"Fuck," he growled. "Don’t deserve you. Swear I don't but I ain't letting you go."

"Ain't going nowhere." I kissed him just as Shay was getting ready to throw the bouquet.

Beyoncé’s song, All the Single Ladies, cranked through the speakers.

"Go on." Apollo swatted me on the ass.

"Not you too." I shook my head and went to stand with the band of girls getting ready to knock the other over to get a bunch of flowers.

I was sure to stand in the back because I could care less who got the flowers. I looked around and Dessy wasn't in line but she was sitting at the table and Bear was close by. They must have been at another crossroads. I'd tell Kylie about having another girl’s night soon because Shay and Bronx was about to go on a world tour for their honeymoon. To top that off, it was for thirty days. Life just wouldn't be the same without them around but it was a great gift. Bronx gave her whatever she wanted. He knew he was spoiling her but I overheard him telling Shiz that at the end of the day, Shay was his partner in life and he'd do any goddamn thing he could to keep her happy and in his life.

Shit, Bronx had my vote.

Well, that's how most of these guys were. Razor was the same way and Apollo was showing me every day that's how he was. Bear was old school and had some kink about him, so I'm not sure what he was trying to do or not do, but he'd better get on the bandwagon because Dessy was sweet and all but she's no dummy.

The bouquet went up and a girl off to the side caught it but looked like she wanted to throw it back. We all cheered for her but she did not look happy. She looked slightly familiar but I couldn't place where I knew her from.

Vita was here and sitting at a table with strangers, whom she gladly ate and drank with to avoid a certain biker President. Swag was sitting at the table across from the groomsmen with more Guardian brothers.

During the dancing portion of the evening, I went to grab Vita but she was fighting me.

"Girl, I've had too much to drink." She waved around the table, "Right, guys."

Mr. and Mrs. Whitaker looked puzzled while somebody’s nephew nodded his head, yes and his sister shook her head, no.

I shook my own damn head and pulled her out onto the dance floor. “Let's dance because Apollo is busy, Kylie's about to pop, and Dessy's looking like she wants to be left alone.” We danced, laughed and did the bump to songs that did not require the bump. Most folks just laughed at us but we were having fun. Dessy actually did come join us for one of the line dances and after a few more songs, she started to shake her ass even more.

Vita suggested they do a twerking dance off. I gracefully bowed out because I didn't have that much booty to shake and forget even being able to twerk. However, to ease their concerns about me being excluded, I promised to orchestrate the judging. Shay & Bronx just sat on their thrones and laughed.

Halfway through the Nicki Minaj song, the women were moving hips and asses were shaking, then like an eagle coming for his prey, Bear swooped in, lifted Dessy and put her over his shoulder and they went out the front door. She was kicking and screaming of course but this was a biker wedding. All the guys were giving hoots and hollers and all the women wished they were Dessy.

"By process of elimination, Vita has won the twerking dance off," I announced to the few people who were even paying us any mind.

We both laughed at the announcement, until Swag interrupted with, "Nice moves, Vita."

"Hmm," she hummed and turned to keep dancing with me.

"You didn't use that number," he kept talking. "I'd like to make it up to you, if you'd let me."

"Nope, we're good," Vita commented as she moved her hips around and around.

Swag grabbed her by the waist, snapped her to his body and bent her down in a Salsa Dip and said, "No, we're not good, mami. Talk to me now or talk to me later but we need to talk."

He slowly pulled her up as she held on to him tightly.

"What will it be?" he asked with her body pressed up against his.

"Fine, let's get this over with," she snapped. "What's so damn important?"

"You need to let me make it up to you," Swag whispered as he leaned in. "We caught the other's eye without the games, so let's see where it takes us."

Vita's head reared back as she contemplated the handsome man with his goatee and smirk on his face.

"Listen, Swag," Vita leaned into him and whispered. "Despite what you might think of me, I'm not looking to just be with anyone, take anything or just give persistent guys chances. I'm really not that hard up."

She leaned back and went to walk away but Swag tagged her by the elbow and started dancing with her. Like, really dancing.

"At the least, you can give me this dance," he said. "Then I'll have more time to plead my case."

The music switched to Merengue and Swag started to twirl Vita around like they did on Dancing with the Stars. It was so crazy, everybody was watching them and cheering them on as they literally twirled around the dance floor.

Who the hell knew, bad ass Swag could bust a move?

When the song ended, every biker was on their feet, hooting and hollering, "Shake those hips, Swag...that's how you do it...flip her."

The rest of us were simply clapping with huge smiles on our faces. Vita’s face said it all. Just as he'd misjudged her, she'd misjudged him.

"Vita, you look surprised?" Swag said, slightly out of breath. "Do I look like an award-winning dancer? No."

She looked at him and then laughed. "Yeah, okay. Touché...touché."

"Where did you learn how to dance?" she asked sounding very intrigued.

"My mom was a dancer and I was her partner until I decided it wasn't for me." Swag laughed. "I was going to play football, which got me to college. I was going to go Pro, which got me out of college. Then after life took over, I came back to what I knew."

"Your club?" Vita mused.

"No, helping people," he answered.

Vita's eyes relaxed and then she smiled. "Oh, you're good."

Swag laughed and grabbed her hands. "Do I get another try?"

"Got to think about that, Mr. Romeo." Vita smiled. "Just got to think about that."

She patted him on the chest and walked away. I shrugged at Swag and followed her back to her table.

"Hey, what was that about?" I asked Vita once we were seated.

"Girl, that man has game beyond game. I know men like him. They'll have you all wrapped up in them and then leave you with a big belly while they go and find themselves." Vita's face looked haunted. "I know men like him. Too suave for me."

"I don't think that's how Swag is, Vita." She looked at me, "But honey, that's your story. Not mine."

"Yeah, I doubt there'll be a story." She laughed.

"Oh, there'll be a story, alright," I informed her. "There's always a story."

****

AFTER THE HAPPY COUPLE rode off on Bronx's bike, people began to trickle out until it was just Apollo and I sitting on the steps.

"You sure you want to go through all this again?" he asked.

"Well, someone else will have to do the cleanup," I offered.

"This is true." He laughed. "Let's go, sweetness. I'm tired as fuck."

The next morning, I was surprised to get a text from my mom that read:

Mom: So, we're having dinner tonight and Apollo needs to come

Rolling out of bed, I went downstairs to make him his favorite breakfast but then I stopped. He wasn't Henry and he'd be madder if he felt like I needed to butter him up. So, I made my favorite breakfast to calm my nerves.

"Morning. You're up early," Apollo said as he pulled my back into his chest and kissed my neck.

"Morning, honey."

"Veggie omelets, turkey sausage, and pancakes," Apollo noted as his head swiveled around his kitchen. "You stressed or something?"

I nearly choked with laughter.

"Yeah, I'm stressed." I nodded my head. "My dad heard about us and wants to meet you."

"Okay," he said calmly.

"No, Apollo. He don't take kindly to anyone," I said. "He's going to be pissed that I haven't said anything about you."

"Well, why haven't you?" He turned it around on me. "If my parents were alive, you'd have already met them."

"Well, my father didn't even like Henry. I figured he'd have a hard time swallowing me being with you."

"Sweetness, don't mean no disrespect to your folks but I don't give a good goddamn if they like me or not. My only concern is what you think," he shared.

"Please don't say that tonight." I wrapped my arms his neck. "You and my father are my two favorite men. The only ones I love unconditionally in this world and I want you both to get along. I know you're a big, bad ass biker, but he's my father, Apollo. I care about his opinion and how he feels." His eyebrows went up. "I'm not saying I listen. I'm saying I care."

"Sweetness, I love you but if that man comes at me the wrong way, how do you suggest I handle it? If it's between me and him, where you will you be? Huh?" His brows were turned into the middle of his forehead. "I'm not liking this."

"Stop, stop." I smoothed his brows. "Everything will be fine. My father raised me to be an independent thinker and that includes being independent from his own thinking. My point is that I want you both to get along. Whatever happens, I'm with you."

I kissed his lips.

"Hmm," he murmured against my cheek.

Dinner seemed like a train wreck waiting to happen so by the time it was about to start, my stomach was in knots. Unlike Shay and Kylie, I didn't have any other couples to come and be buffers. It was just the Barristers and us.

"Evening, Mom. This is Apollo, well you know him as Connor." I introduced him again.

"Yes," my mom was beaming. "So nice to see you again."

"You too Mrs. Barrister." He bent down to kiss her hand.

The blush that crawled up that woman's face was embarrassing.

"Mom, where's Dad?" I whispered.

"Oh, he's in the kitchen taking the pumpkin pie out of the oven." She lowered her voice to me and said, "You know he had to make his famous pie for company."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Take off your coats, wash your hands and let's get ready to eat," Mom instructed.

I grabbed Apollo's hand and pulled him into the bathroom.

"I'm so nervous," I confessed.

"Sweetness, no matter what. At the end of this night, you're going home with me, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, of course," I confirmed.

"Then, let's eat some good food and get over the uncomfortableness of this and get home, so I can kiss you all over." Apollo pulled me into him and pecked my forehead.

"Okay," I murmured against his hard chest.

When we entered the dining room, my father was standing behind the head of the table waiting.

"Hey Daddy," I called as I ran to him and gave him a hug.

"Hey baby girl." He hugged me back. "You look good. Like your hair longer."

"Thanks Dad." I pulled back and said, "I want you to meet Apollo. Mom knows him as Connor."

"Yeah, seems everyone around town knows about Apollo and my daughter, and I'm left in the dark," he said directing it towards Apollo.

Like the man I know and love, he extended his hand out towards my dad and said, "Apologies, sir. I spent so much time trying to catch her, sorta forgot my manners."

My dad looked at me and I smiled.

"My daughter gave you a run for your money, huh?" He smirked.

"Sir, that was no run, it was a marathon." Apollo shook his head. "I'm still out of breath."

My father shook Apollo's hand and said, "That's what I like to hear. The name is Adam, I’m a good shot,” he whispered, “with a rifle, I mean,” then he continued to say “and I work at Rytel Tech Corporations."

Apollo nodded and asked, "You know Paul Jamison?"

His eyebrows rose, then Dad nodded his head and said, "Yeah, I know him. A good friend of mine. How do you know him?"

"Helped him out of a situation, a couple years back," Apollo answered.

"Lucy? That situation?" my mom gasped. "Wow."

"Shit, that was you!" Dad exclaimed. "Shit, Apollo from the Guardians. You're their Sergeant of Arms. Goddamit."

"Oh, that's right." Mom nodded.

"Let's eat," Dad said. "We can talk all about this over dinner."

Once they caught me up with who Lucy was and poor Paul, we all had a laugh.

Apparently, Paul started a relationship with some younger woman who decided to get pregnant and have him buy all sorts of things like an apartment, baby furniture, clothes and everything. After an unannounced visit, Paul noticed none of the things in the apartment and called the Guardians who put Connor on the case. Lucy was conning three men out of money, furniture, cars and much more with guys around the state. She was never pregnant and after Apollo was able to get some of Paul’s money back, Lucy skipped town. Probably to start another scam in another state.

As we ate dinner, my dad asked Apollo some really tough questions about his loyalty to the Guardians, me, and what his plans were for the future.

Then he asked the ultimate question and I could have simply died.

"That situation with Bronx and Shay some time back, you were the one that killed the man. You've been on the battle field for your country and now for the Guardians and their wars. What does that do to a man?" My father was sober and resolute. "How does a man make the transition and come to care and take care of a woman, specifically my daughter?"

"Uh, Adam," my mom called, but Dad waved her off.

Apollo laid his fork down and I touched his arm as a reminder.

"Over a year ago, I said something crazy to this woman and a list of unfortunate things happened as a result. She was sick, got well and came back. You know better than me, what that feels like to have a child fighting battles that you have no control over. Her courage to come back to a place where she had been shamed and embarrassed was impressive. She did that with the strength that lies deep within her and the resolve, I only hope to have an ounce of. I think these are similar traits when fighting for a cause greater than you."

He lifted one finger. "Fighting for my country was an honor and privilege. Taught me so much about military life, control, and discipline. So much so that when I came back home, I wanted to continue to do that in a way that was honorable and noble."

He lifted another finger. "This is where the Guardians came in. My first years there were okay but it wasn't until our President, Razor, saw something in me that I didn't see. He gave me a model, a friend, and a band of brothers. Those are men that I'd fight and kill for if necessary. They also have taught me about civilian life, control and discipline."

He lifted another finger. "Now, there's Lori. She's beautiful, smart and I swear she was made for me. I know some of her struggles as I've suffered with them myself. I get her which is why I admire her even more. That's just on an outside level. How does war and my brotherhood play into having and taking care of a woman, my woman? In every way possible. Like I felt it was an honor to serve my country, it's an honor that this woman even gives me the time of day. Just like the Guardians gave me a friend and a band of brothers, she is my partner, in everything. Our wedding, our house, our kids, our marriage, our life will work because we will work for it. Just like I fought for my country, my brothers and their women, I will damn sure do the same for her. I may not be able to control the uncontrollable, but I will fucking try and anything she deals with, will be dealt with through me. That goes for anything or anyone."

Apollo put his hand on the table and said, "That's just the short answer."

My mom had tears in her eyes and so did I. My dad looked at me and said, "Looks like you're going to be in good hands."

The watery smile waned as I tried to keep the tears inside my eyes. Then my dad looked at Apollo and said, "I'm glad I got to know you a bit. You'll have to stop by more often, you know. Like to see how a man bowls or fishes around these parts. That determines a lot."

Apollo laughed and said, "I'd love too. Not sure you can hang with me in bowling, I average one-eighty."

Dad raised his eyebrows and said, "Honey, tell him my average, will ya."

My mom buttered a biscuit and said, "That’d be a two-hundred, dear. Stay in your lane."

I laughed and hit Apollo on the arm.

"We'll see you at the lanes, then." Apollo nodded. "Challenge accepted."

We finished dinner, left my parents with smiles and plans for the competition. On our way home, Apollo said, "I want you to move in, Lori."

Uh, okay.

"We do live across the street from each other," I tried to reason.

"Yeah and I want you waking up in our bed, in our house because we're making a home," he countered.

My mouth remained closed because when he put it that way, there was only one answer. Turning my head out of the window, I remembered everything he’d said to my father. His hand squeezed my thigh and he asked, "What you thinking?"

"Just thinking about what you said to my father," I answered.

"Meant every word." His fingers pressed into my thigh.

"I know."

My mind wandered to that frightful night at Pepper's when this same man crushed my heart with little to no effort to the man that spoke before my father, expressing his love for me. Those were two different men and also a different me. Both probably not at our healthiest points but we persevered and found each other to bring out the best in us, individually and collectively.

He pulled in his driveway and we sat there, until I broke the silence.

"I want three kids, Apollo," I started. "Two boys and one girl. They're going to need a tree house out back. I want a room for just me, okay. My own home office. You have your man cave but I get an office. I may want to write romance novels later in life or something. You're going to have to get a minivan once the kids come because mine won't ride in this monstrosity. You're going to have to teach me about sports because I need to be a soccer mom with accurate yelling and screaming. I already told you, I want the wedding, reception and everything out there and I'll leave the honeymoon details to you. Oh, I almost always need one or two weekends to hang with Mom when we get our lady pampering. My period comes every three months with this birth control that I'm on, so you're going to want to see if you can deal with me during that week, to see if you still want me to move in. I'm just saying."

There was light snickering on his side of the car, then I felt a hand reach over and pull me on top of his hard body.

"I've dealt with women on periods before," Apollo told me.

"Not me," I said. "Even Shay and Kylie stay away from me during that time."

"Guess I need to get your office a chaise lounge chair so you can keep your ass in there for a week," he said.

"Yup and a refrigerator filled with chocolate. Oh, a big screen television with cable so I can watch chick flicks and cry."

"Sounds like a woman cave," he countered.

"Tomatoe, tomato."

"Done," he answered. "Anything else, ma'am?"

"That’s all I can think of now but let's do weekly check-ins. Mental, emotional and physical health," I told him. "We say what we need, stay honest and open."

"Exactly." Apollo laughed. "Okay, so you should know one thing though."

“What?”

He pulled out his cellphone and showed me a website. It was for The Manor Press, our local newspaper.

“This is coming out tomorrow,” he said as he handed me the phone.

Quickly skimming over the image, words and a handsome looking picture of Apollo on the screen, I gasped.

“Is this?” I started. “This is you?”

“Yeah, sweetness.” He nodded. “I wanted to surprise you over breakfast tomorrow morning but I wanted you to know since we’re coming up with our pacts.”

Tears were rolling down my face as I read that Connor Locklear had started a landscaping company that also donated a sizable portion of its proceeds to rehabilitations like the one I was in and they highlighted his skills with fixing and transforming bikes over the past ten years. The picture was of him, arms crossed, no smile but his eyes were happy.

He was happy.

“Wow, Connor.” I was in awe.

His hand wiped my face when he asked, “Why are you crying?”

“Because,” I sniffed. “I’m so proud of you.”

He laughed and said, “That’s how I feel about you, sweetness.”

"Then we're good." I laughed it off.

"Now, can I get that kiss?" Connor asked.

I leaned forward but he tilted his head back and said, "Not those lips, sweetness. My other ones."

"Oh God, yes." I opened the door, climbed off his lap and ran in the house with Connor chasing after me.

Not only did he kiss those lips but so many other things. The man put the N in naughty and I wasn't any better because I loved every bit of it.

Around three in the morning his cell rang, startling me awake.

"Yeah," he answered. "Be right there."

"Pollo?" I called.

"Sweetness, got some club business I need to take care of. I'll be back later, okay."

My head nodded and as he pulled on his pants and boots, I couldn't help but feel fear. As he was leaving, I yelled, "Be careful."

He stopped, turned around and said, "Always. We got a future to build and I ain't missing that for nothing in this world."

"You better not." I smiled as he kissed my head, nose and finally my mouth.

"Go back to sleep," he instructed.

Then he was gone.