SHAY:

I couldn’t find the wound.

There was blood everywhere.

Oh my God.

Noooo.

“Shay, wake up.” Kylie’s voice interrupted my nightmare.

We were still in the hospital waiting for the status on Bronx and Apollo. The doctor said that Apollo had been grazed in the neck and suffered a gunshot wound to his left shoulder. When we were leaving, we saw that the glass has been broken and his car door was open. Dessy had to jerk me away as I was hysterical and shaking when the paramedics arrived to get them. Two men that I’ve come to know were laid out in my bedroom, and one of those men was the love of my life. The other I hadn’t muttered a word to in the past year, and he saved my life as the man had his gun aimed at me and was ready to shoot as I was tending to Bronx.

“I’m up.” I looked around.

“Bronx’s cousin, Trey, is here,” She pointed to a tall guy with his head in his hands over in the far corner.

As I looked around the room, I saw a lot of men in and out of Guardian cuts. Clean-shaven, rugged, various professions and all with that look.

It wasn’t one I could easily describe, but it was one that I knew no matter the outcome, they had each other’s back and all that came with that.

Razor was on my right side looking off into space. Kylie was on my left rubbing my back.

“He’s a fighter,” she kept whispering.

Bronx was shot in the chest and apparently on his way down, his head hit my old dresser, and he had a concussion along with the potentially fatal shot. Even though they kept telling me he could bounce back from that, as a person with some medical knowledge, I knew what a shot to the chest meant. The percentage that things could take a turn for the worse was extremely high. It made me think of everything Bronx kept saying. He didn’t want to waste another moment. Four years had passed, and he wouldn’t wait. He wanted us to start our lives together without delays or setbacks from anyone else, including me.

It was like he knew. Time was of the essence.

Tears panged my eyes consistently as I thought about our last conversation. He wanted me to move in with him and I was trying to come up with reasons why we shouldn’t rush. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to move in with him, I just didn’t like the impulsive Bronx. I felt we had time.

We didn’t.

Later, the next morning, they said since I was his fiancée, I could see him. His cousin joined me after introducing himself as Trey.

“Heard about you a few years ago,” Trey said as we walked to the back. “Man, I’m glad you guys are together. I thought I ruined that shit.”

I didn’t answer.

“Look, you go first. I’ll wait outside.”

My head nodded to acknowledge he spoke but I was going in regardless.

“Bronx, honey.” I started. “Um, I get it now. I know why you wanted us to start our lives. Get married and have kids right away. I, uh.” My lip began to tremble and my voice became watery. “I, uh, can’t do this without you, honey. It’s always been you. You know that right? Four years ago, I was in love with Blair Wilson. I was just like Lori. Shit, I knew your schedule better than you did. Then, I got hurt. You know. I reacted and was impulsive. I should have talked to you and I’m soo sorry. You could have your girls by now or I could have had my little Bronx. I can’t do that without you. So, uh, you need to get up and come on, right. I’m moving in this weekend.”

The tears were flowing down my face and I could barely see.

“I’m begging you, Bronx. Fucking begging, right. You said I would and I am.” I grabbed onto his arm. “Please get up, honey. I need you.” My voice sounded so small and far away. “You’re my rock, remember. You keep my crazy at bay. Without you, where will I be, huh? Answer me, honey.”

My whole world had turned upside down in a blink of an eye. I knew something was wrong when Bronx left my side. He never left me in bed so he was either sick or something was really wrong. I heard that man, the same one that had held the knife to my neck, hissing at him. Saying he was going to shoot me and make him watch. Ed had called me in to pick up my gun and I had not told Bronx because I knew what he would say. One of the reasons, we were together is because he felt it was his job to protect me. After my rant about needing to protect myself, he stepped up and took his rightful place in my life.

“I want our kids. My life with you. I’ll move, okay? I promise. I’ll move.”

My shoulders started to jerk as the emotion took over. My chest palpitated as my body was wracked with pain. A hand touched my shoulder but my head was on Bronx’s arm and I didn’t turn around.

“Shay.” His cousin called. “Bronx, he uh, adored you. He thought he was doing you a favor by letting you live your life all those years. He told me many times because when he bailed me out, he knew he mighta fucked things up with you. He said you were a keeper, so I always asked about you. When he called me a couple of months ago and told me, he was through living his life without you. He was going to ask for forgiveness from Shelly. I knew if he succeeded, his whole world would change. He was living, but he wasn’t alive. Not really, not until he was with you.” He squeezed my shoulder and said, “I just want you to know that.” 

More tears flowed from my eyes and I couldn’t stop them. My whole world was tilted and nothing seemed right. I was angry, upset and feeling like I hadn’t taken advantage of my life. Wasting time holding grudges against people who saved me and people who loved me, for years.

“God, we ask for your intervention...” I looked up to see Trey murmuring as he clutched Bronx’s hand with his head low and lips moving.

He was praying.

Yes, prayer.

It couldn’t hurt. A divine intervention was needed not just for Bronx but Apollo as well. I bowed my head and prayed that God would hear us.

The next day there were no changes. Apollo was no longer in critical condition, but Bronx remained in a touch and go situation. I stayed at the hospital all night. My parents, Kylie, Dessy, and Razor took turns bringing food, getting me out and at least talking. This went on for three days until we received news that he was out of the woods. I had easily lost ten plus pounds but I did not care one fuck, because my love was fighting for his life.

Apollo was up and talking with folks.

“I just wanted to say thanks for saving my life.” I was at his side as he laid in the hospital bed.

His eyes were closed but they opened after I finished my words. He had a bandage around the left side of his neck and his arm was wrapped in a sling.

“No thanks needed, Shay,” he said in a raspy voice which was probably from the oxygen that he was getting through his nose.

“No, there’s definitely gratitude that’s needed. I haven’t spoken to you for almost a year. You owed me no favors and you...” My voice threatened to break, so I turned away from him. “Saved me. I wanted to thank you.”

Apollo cleared his throat and said, “I get it. You remained united for my treatment to your girl but you’re still family. They don’t always get along and shit. Might not even talk for a while, but family gets over shit like that. Made my man Bronx a new man. You’re family darling, whether you wanted to be or not.”

Tears definitely started sliding down my face after that. I had become a weeping river over the past few days.

“I’m sorry, Apollo,” I sniffled. “I shouldn’t have held a grudge like that. I didn’t like what you did, but it’s over. Right? Lori’s gone and you’re living. I’m living. Bron...Bron...”

“Bronx will live,” he finished for me. “He’s one of the toughest men I know. He’ll pull through this. Mark my words.”

My head nodded involuntarily. We sat in silence for a little while, then I asked him, “How are you dealing with the thing.”

At first, his eyebrows furrowed, then recognition hit him. He knew I meant the death of our assailant.

“I’m dealing. You?”

“I wished I would have killed him. I aimed for his head,” I nodded. “He shot Bronx, and he needed to die.”

“Glad you didn’t,” Apollo said. “You’re a tough broad and all, but you’re too sweet for that shit. You don’t need those demons. Promise me, you’ll let Bronx handle that shit for you. Not faulting you for watching out for my man. Appreciate you more than ever for that, but don’t need a kill on your clean hands. That’s not for you Shay. We know about it, have dealt with it and have our ways to deal with it. That ain’t you,” he nodded. “Glad you didn’t.”

He was talking in that biker club language, but I got the gist. I wasn’t about that life, and he wanted me to stay that way. Never thought Apollo wanted anything for me, but it was kind of sweet in an Apollo way.

“I got you.”

He smirked, and I nodded.

We had an understanding.

The next few days crawled by as I continued to stay in and near the hospital. Mr. Hernandez stopped by when he heard about Bronx being shot and so did his wife. She was pretty, and I could see why Bronx fell for her. We hugged, and she sat with me for a while after they had announced he was out of the woods.

His cousin stayed in town the entire time and was at the hospital every day. So was Razor, Kylie, and a rotation of Guardians. Apollo was released a few days ago with some pain medicine and appointments for physical therapy.

I, on the other hand, hadn’t slept in a bed for two weeks. the bags under my eyes and my hair was the worst it’s ever been in my life. My mom almost had her beautician come to do my hair at the hospital. Dessy finally made me stop in order for her to braid it back, so it would not look so bad.

The police kept stopping by and asking various questions. It was mainly the Sheriff, who was no real fan of the Guardians’ because his brother was beating on his old lady and one of the Guardian’s put an end to that shit. When that got around town, he made it a point to fuck with them. Last year, he tried to warn Razor about interfering with Kylie. This was before they were an official item of course.

“Ms. Russell, so you shot him before or after he shot the gun?” he kept asking.

I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes. This was the shit I had already told the deputy, Officer Lemond and the first on scene.

“Sheriff, her fiancé is fighting for his goddamn life. She’s answered you already. What’s with the questioning?” Razor interjected with Kylie by his side.

The sheriff turned around causing everything on him to make their own distinct noise, keys, belt, boots, and even his tight suit. “Razor, I just find it off that a rival gang breaks into Ms. Russell’s house with three Guardians there and doesn’t come out alive. Don’t you find that odd? He’s not here to tell his side of the story. Odd?”

Razor stepped towards the uniformed official and Kylie pulled on his arm, but she ended up being right beside him.

“Razor,” she whispered.

“You don’t want this fight, Sheriff!” Razor spat. “You take issue with the Guardian’s, fine. But this here will not be an issue,” he said pointing towards me. “A warning, I won’t stand for that shit. Go ahead and try me.”

“Is that a threat, Xander?” He put his hands on his waist.

“A guaranteed threat.” Razor leaned into the man, then he backed away and told Kylie, “Take Shay over there.”

She nodded and intertwined her arm around mine as we moved towards the other side. Razor and the sheriff kept staring at each other until my dad joined the conversation, which resulted in the Sheriff leaving quickly.

The waiting game didn’t suit me well, but I learned a lot about both Apollo and Bronx with all the stories the guys were telling. They joked about the pranks Apollo pulled on them and how Bronx beat the shit out of Snoop in less than a minute. Apparently, he was talking a lot of shit about Bronx’s former days and didn’t know he was still actively working out. The word got back to Bronx, and they set up a pseudo-fight at the gym that was only attended by Guardians. To Snoops defense, he was a recruit at the time, but he’d never underestimate my man again. Bear still thought that shit was funny. He said, the young ones were always the most arrogant.

On my way back from one of my daily walks with Kylie, Razor met us at the door.

“Shay, come,” he said with a sense of urgency.

Without questioning, thinking or a doubt, I ran after him as he made his way to the nurse’s station.

“Here’s Blair Wilson’s fiancé.” He pointed to me.

“Oh, honey.” She smiled with tears in her eyes. “He’s up and asking for you.”

“WHAT!” I screamed.

My body turned quickly towards Kylie who was behind me, “He’s up?” I murmured.

She nodded, “Go. Go to him.”

Tears were in her eyes too when I nodded and followed the nurse.

“Call his cousin, Kylie,” I yelled back. “Let Trey know.”

Her response wasn’t heard as I raced into his room. Bronx’s eyes were closed but when I squeezed his hand, they slightly opened as he searched for me.

“Kitten,” he whispered.

“I’m here.” I squeezed back. “I’m here. I’m so glad you’re up.”

“Yeah,” his breaths were labored.

“Don’t talk, okay.” I touched his arm. “Save your breath.”

He blinked, and his eyes stayed closed, then he murmured, “Apollo?”

“He’s fine. He left a couple of days ago. Nothing permanent. Just a cast to his arm,” I informed him.

“You?” he said.

I almost wailed that the man I loved was on his damn deathbed and asking about everybody but himself.

“I’m fine.” My voice was hitched with pure emotion. “I’m fine, now.”

He slightly nodded as he dozed back off.

“Love you,” he murmured. "We good?"

“I love you.” I whispered in his ear. “Always, Bronx. We're good.”

******

BRONX WAS RELEASED a week after that, and he was in my care. Mr. Hernandez helped me to help him get situated at first and the fact that I was able to get some first-hand training was invaluable.

The place was covered with flowers, cards, and food as people from all over had come through to show their support. Bronx knew everybody or they knew of him and like me, he’d touched all of their lives. These included the Mayor, police captain, and a bunch of other undercover Guardians. He was gracious about it all and he was the best patient. Specifically, because his tolerance for pain was extremely high. Hernandez said, he only saw that in soldiers of war. I wondered how bad his childhood really was. Trey or Razor didn’t really talk about it, but I knew there wasn’t a lot of family in the area, so they had to watch out for each other.

Razor, was back to Pres duties when he confirmed that Haz acted alone. Well, Kylie told me that he overheard him on the phone at the compound saying, if he didn’t act alone, holy terror would reign down on the Devils. Every aspect of their compound would be disintegrated.

Razor never talked like that but club business was club business. Kylie was concerned that he was going out for revenge whether the guy acted alone or not. When she confronted him about it, she said he raised his voice at her, which he rarely did. He told her Bronx was his only real brother, even when his blood ones turned their back on him and his Guardian brothers didn’t have his back.

I understood that.

Completely.

Kylie did too, which was why she said, she backed down and simply embraced Razor rather than try to talk him out of anything. He and Bronx's bond was the tightest I’d ever seen. They understood each other with a single look and no words spoken. Razor and Bronx also trusted each other with everything, inexplicably. When Bronx spoke, it was like Razor did and everyone knew it and adhered to his authority. He was humble enough not to acknowledge it but also exercised it with wisdom.  As Razor said, he was a man's man and a brother's brother.

Apollo's recovery was pretty simple. He had PT afterward which he wasn't attending but then some therapist in a short skirt started coming to his house and he changed his mind about the therapy. He and I had an understanding now. While I might not have liked how he handled my girl, he was solid with me. I forgave and moved on, and he had saved my life. Kylie had done the same and while Razor and Bronx didn't say anything specific, I knew they felt a load off. Having their women at odds with a guy who was close to them was never good.

A few months later, Bronx still walked with a slight limp, and he was also in physical therapy, but I wouldn't have some skank nurse help him. I had made that very clear when the guys were talking about Apollo.

During one of Kylie’s and Dessy’s nights at work, there was a small commotion. The only thing we saw was Bear getting up and strolling towards the bar. The man was big but carried his weight well.

With one hand, he damn-near picked up one guy off the stool by his collar and slammed his head down on the counter. By then we were on the move because his friends started to surround him. I tried to keep Bronx and Apollo back since they were still recovering, but no such luck.

It was over quickly because Bear ended up throwing another guy across the bar. Literally, he was in the air and almost in sailing mode.

“What the fuck, Bear?” Razor asked after punching one of the guys in the face.

Once they all scattered and escaped, Bear said, “I just didn't like the shit they were about to pull.”

“Alright, brother,” Apollo answered.

Later on I went over to see how Dessy was doing since she seemed a little jittery, but someone beat me there.

Bear.

“Thanks, Bear,” Dessy half-smiled.

What?

“No thanks needed," he replied and nodded her way.

"I'd be happy to make it up to you," she purred and plopped those double D's on the bar.

Damn, Dessy.

So that’s what Bronx was talking about.

Well, I guess she was going to bag Bear one way or another. His eyes wandered down to the counter, but he did not look happy.

"Fuck is wrong with you? You’re not through throwing it around for everyone to see?" he sneered.

Dessy reared back and so did I. Her eyebrows were raised to the ceiling, and her red lipstick covered lips were shaped like an ‘O’. Bear took that opportunity to lean in and sneered, "What? You didn't just offer it to me?"

She gasped, then sputtered, "I don't w-wave anything around, and that offer was only t-to you."

Bear snapped, "Bullshit, darling. You don't say shit when they're groping you, and you done tried to play both of my brothers at the same time."

"I told you, Bear. It wasn't like that. We were talking. Swear to God. Ask them. I just was trying to meet people is all. I'm new and not trying to make waves. That's why I didn't make a big deal when the guy pulled down my shirt.” She gestured towards the door. “It was an easy fix. No biggie."

He shook his head.

"Girl, you need to get something straight. You demand respect and don't let anyone treat you any ole’ way. You can learn something from that cousin of yours. Bat-shit crazy but a person would know how and how not to treat her. She'll make sure of it." He shook his head again in frustration. "Fuck."

Dessy nodded like she understood.

"You're not ready," Bear growled. "You're not fucking ready."

He turned to walk away, but Dessy reached her arm out and grabbed his wrist. "I am, Bear. I swear that I am. I'll be ready cause you'll teach me," she exhaled and put her head down, having her flowing bobbed-cut mane fall over top of it.

To my surprise, Bear turned around, moved her hair out of her face, placing it behind her ear.

"There are rules." He lifted up her chin with his crooked index finger.

"I know."

"How much do you know?"

"Enough of the wrong way, but I'm willing to learn yours."

"Why?" he asked.

She looked down again and said, "I just have a feeling that you'd be a good one."

He grunted, "Little girl, I fuck hard and punish hard."

"I figured as much," she said shyly. "But, despite what you might think, I'm tougher than I look."

"Hope so," he sighed. "Want to make it up to me, I'd prefer a home cooked meal. You any good in the kitchen?"

"I think so, but there's only one way to find out." Dessy smiled.

"You got sass like your cousin, I see." Bear noted. "That'll get your ass tanned."

Dessy smiled showing a mouth full of white teeth. From my angle, which I was trying to hide behind another patron, it looked like Bear raised an eyebrow. That was confirmed, when he said, "Really, now?"

His thumb on the hand that held her chin, swiped across her lip and to my surprise, Dessy poked her tongue out and licked it.

Damn.

“That a girl,” Bear growled.

Well, I guess she didn't need my rescuing.

Bear was highly respected among the brothers and he never did anything to me, besides pay me no mind. I could deal with that. He just better not fuck over my cousin because there would be hell to pay.

Guaranteed.

When I told Bronx, he also raised an eyebrow and then informed me. "Bear don't take anyone on, but if he does, she's in good hands."

"What's that supposed to mean, ‘He don't take anyone on’?" I scoffed as my booty wiggled on his lap. "This isn't an undercover ops training session."

"Oh, kitten." Bronx was patronizing me. "Bear isn't heavy in that shit, but he's in that world, okay? Your girl seems to be familiar with it a bit, so if that's their thing, let it go. You start letting the wheels turn in your head and it will blow it out of proportion."

My butt wiggled some more since I couldn't really hit him, since he had both of his humongous arms wrapped around me and my back to his chest.

"I'm just curious."

"No, you harp on shit until it’s out your system."

The man had a point.

"Whatever. I'm just thorough."

"Ready to get outta here? I want you to be thorough on top of me," Bronx whispered.

Shit.

"Say no more." I tried to push away from him. "Let's Ride."

"My girl." He let me go so we could ride home.

On our way home, we passed Lori's house, and the lights were on. That was weird since she was away and we were told not to pursue her. I chalked it up as maybe her parents were there gathering her stuff, but Bronx was riding so fast and it was so loud, I didn't have time to stop.

That fact did not cross my mind until the next morning after my multi-orgasmic hangover had me tangled up in Bronx.

"Kitten, your phone. It's Kylie." Bronx nudged me. "Seems important."

He was completely naked, making me think naughty things.

“This better be good.”  I squinted to see the clock read six-thirty in the morning.

Really fucking good.

Taking the phone I sat up. “Girl, this better be and I mean...”

“Lori’s back.” She was whispering. “She's here at our place.”

“What?” I gasped. “Wait, what?”

My head turned to look at Bronx, who was up and moving closer.

"She's here. Right now. In the living room. Come," she whispered. "Now."

"Shit, I'm on my way. Coming." I threw the phone, ran into the bathroom, turned on the shower and walked right under the cold spray while adjusting my scarf that was lopsided on my head.

The shower door didn't shut when I turned around and saw Bronx. "You, uh, forgot something?"

"Oh, sorry sweetheart." I kissed his nose. "That was Kylie, and she says Lori is back. Like in her living room. So I'm going."

I turned around, swiped the necessities and walked out.

Bronx was in the room with his jeans, t-shirt and cut on.

"I'm taking you," he said.

I had been with him long enough to know that this wasn't negotiable. We had a silent understanding, so he also knew when what I said wasn't up for discussion.

My head nodded and after I was dressed we were on our way.

When we pulled up, there was a red corvette outside with the top down. It was new and it was nice. It had to be Lori's or she borrowed it because Kylie’s car was parked outside, and so were Razor's bike and truck.

The door was open, so I didn't have to knock and lo and behold, there sat Lori in the flesh. She had shorter hair, it was layered and highlighted, makeup was absolutely flawless, her clothes were stylish and she looked good.

"Goddamn, Lori," I yelled and ran towards her.

She stood and greeted me as I nearly tackled her.

"What the fuck?" I looked at her up and down.

"What's up with you?" she asked, showing that Lori smile.

Kylie chose to come out and smile, while Razor waved Bronx in the kitchen. Before he made it, he stopped, kissed me on the forehead, then turned to Lori and said, "Good to see you again."

"You too Bronx," she hugged him and then he was off.

Her hands went up, and she closed her eyes.

"I know I owe you guys an explanation. Lots of them and I'll tell you everything, just let me explain and then you can yell at me all you want."

"No, we're just glad to see you are in one piece," Kylie said.

"No, bitch. I'm mad." I made sure that was known. "I'm glad to see you, but I'm still mad."

"I figured you would be," she smirked.

"Okay, well, first of all. I left because" she sighed. "I really needed to. I mean, you guys know, I was out of control with the obsessiveness over a guy." Her hand was palm up waving towards the door. "I've suffered from this before and I needed help. I wasn't coping well and therefore all of my attention was on this one guy. You know? So, I knew I had spiraled, but I hadn't realized how much I was gone until Connor exploded like that. It was public and embarrassing, but I'm better now. Much better. I made some changes, including my job and picked up a few hobbies. I'm even dating now, which I refused to do for so long. He's sweet, and he also can identify with me. We were in the same facility. I can't wait for you to meet him. My parents were supportive, and I've moved out as of last night, to my own place, near Baltic."

She paused as Kylie and I digested what she was saying.

"So, that's really it in a nutshell." Her shoulders rose to her ears and she exhaled.

"Honey, why didn't you tell us." I reached to grab her hands.

"It's embarrassing; you know?" She looked directly at me. "I didn't want you guys to look at me differently, but I was making such an ass of myself, I guess you were already looking at me differently."

My head nodded in agreement with that statement. I certainly had.

"So, you have OCD?" Kylie asked.

"Well, not really. It's obsessive, but not necessarily compulsion. I can become hyper-focused on a person and not a bunch of things. It could even be a celebrity, and other signs are delusions, jealousy and things like that. It never got to that point, but if it would have gone unchecked, it might have," she confided.

"I see." My head nodded with recognition.

"Yeah, so go ahead, let me have it." Lori gave us a half-smile.

"No, kudos for you getting the help you needed," Kylie said. "That says a lot about you."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far." Lori’s eyebrow raised.

"I would," I chimed in. "One of the reasons why I never said anything to you about it is because on some level I felt like I had those same tendencies. I'd never admit that, but you did and more importantly, to yourself."

Lori's eyes started to fill with unshed tears.

"Oh no," Kylie stood up. "No crying, okay. It's eight in the morning. We haven't had coffee yet."

"Shay," Lori called. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that."

She jumped to her feet and hugged me. Then she whispered in my ear, "You really don't know."

We embraced for a while until Kylie joined us. Once we stopped, I asked, "So you're back for good?"

"Yup, my job started Monday morning and right now, I'm still in the process of moving."

"Oh goodie, because we have a few good men that can help you." Kylie smiled. "Razor, Bronx. Get in here."

A few seconds later, they both strolled through the kitchen door looking to Kylie. Bronx no longer had a limp, but on rainy days, he ached and the limp was noticeable.

"Lori here, is back to stay, and she's moved near Baltic, and I thought it'd be nice if we all helped her." Kylie smiled sweetly.

"You mean, we move the shit, while you girls gab and shit," Razor growled.

"Something like that," I added. "Bronx are you..."

"Yes," his eyes narrowed on me.

I still worried. He was over it, of course.  

My hands went up in defense so he would stop giving me the eyes.

"We'll call the prospects," Razor said as he pulled out his phone.

Lori leaned into me and said, "You finally bagged Bronx."

She was all smiles.

I laughed and said, "Yeah, girl. It's a long but short story, but he finally bagged me."

"So happy for you. I always knew you guys were missing out." She hugged my arm.

"Yeah, we were." I looked to Bronx, as he stared at me with those knowing eyes and a smirk.

He’d heard us.