marcus and i decided to go to Subway for lunch. I thought about inviting someone else to ease the tension, but no one was free. Besides, the only person I’d have really wanted to come was Devon, and she was covering for me.
Marcus still seemed to be on edge when we walked out of the gym and towards the restaurant. He kept his gaze down down, his brow furrowed. It wasn’t like Marcus to be that quiet. Something was really eating at him. Hopefully, I could at least get him to talk to me about it.
“Hey.” I gently nudged his arm with mine. He finally looked at me as we walked, and I smiled. “What’s going on?”
He gave me the same crooked grin I’d come to think about all the time, and my breath almost caught in my throat.
“Just thinking.”
I composed myself to raise a brow and huff at him in response. “You can’t keep being that vague. It’s not fair.”
He laughed as we reached Subway and opened the door for me.
“Maybe I’m just not telling you to make you crazy.”
I looked back at him as he walked in the door, and he winked at me. I couldn’t help but blush a little.
“You make me crazy anyways.” I stopped and turned away from him as soon as I realized what I said and how it could have been taken. How it should have been taken.
It was hard to forget there was a line we couldn’t cross sometimes when we’d already crossed that line before. I had no clue how to stay friends with an ex. This breaking up while knowing you both had feelings for each other was hard.
But, did Marcus still have feelings for me now that he was with Hannah? I hoped so. If he didn’t, then I hadn’t meant as much to him as I thought I did. It was selfish, but it was true.
Once we had our subs and cups for our drinks, we found a table. He surprised me by taking both cups to fill up. I grinned as he put in only a little bit of ice before filling mine up with sweet tea. I hated a lot of ice, and Marcus knew that. Just like he knew my favorite thing to drink was sweet tea no matter where I went to eat.
While he got his water, I walked over to the rack with all the chips and took two bags of the baked barbeque chips we both liked. It was the least I could do since he grabbed my drink for me.
We both got to the table at the same time and grinned at one another, all the awkwardness from earlier put behind us it would seem. I sat down across from him and unwrapped my sub. The whole time, his gaze was on me, and the grin didn’t leave his face.
“What?” I asked, feeling the heat come back to my cheeks.
“Nothing,” he said.
I narrowed my eyes playfully before taking a drink of my tea.
I was actually shy being around him right now. Without even realizing it, we both fell back into the flirting that started our friendship, which led to our relationship. While I was glad we weren’t walking on eggshells around each other at the moment, I was also nervous at the change.
“I don’t believe you,” I whispered.
He grinned, sitting back in his chair. “I’m just glad we can hang out.”
I swallowed hard at his words but smiled nonetheless. “Me, too.”
We ate our meal in a comfortable silence, both saving our chips for last. We’d made jokes about the fact that no one else we knew did that. Most everyone ate their chips with their meal, while it was almost like a dessert to us.
“So, how’s your mom?” he asked in between bites.
I smiled. She really loved Marcus.
“She’s good. A little stressed lately but good.” I took another drink of my tea.
“I take it she’s had the kids a lot more lately?”
I nodded, and he frowned a little.
Marcus knew about my sister and about my mom taking care of the kids while she was out doing God knows what. I’d told him the extent of it when I’d been staying with him after the accident. It wasn’t something I was proud of so it wasn’t really something I talked about with just anyone, but I trusted Marcus and knew he wouldn’t judge my family for my sister’s mistakes.
“Yeah. They’ve all but taken over my room.” I chucked.
The look in his eyes told me he knew better. “You don’t get much time to yourself, then?”
I shook my head.
He nodded, seeming to think hard about my answer. “Are you going anywhere for Thanksgiving?”
Again, I shook my head. “No, we’re just going to have dinner at home. We invited my sister, but I doubt she’ll come. We’ve already got the kids for the weekend.”
His watching me intently as I talked made me slightly self-conscious, but I wasn’t sure why.
“What about you? Are you heading to Tennessee to see your parents?” I asked.
I knew he wasn’t. We’d talked about it while we were together. He had planned on coming to my house for dinner instead. I thought it was sad he wasn’t going to see his parents, but he told me they would all rather celebrate Christmas together if they had to choose one. I couldn’t argue with that. That was the way our family would have been too.
“No. I think Hannah and I are just going to make dinner at my house. Invite Chad and Erica over or something.” He was talking fast like he was nervous.
The mention of him and Hannah spending the holiday together upset my stomach. For some stupid reason, I felt like I’d been blindsided once again. It was getting a little ridiculous how little control I had on my emotions.
“That sounds like fun,” I said quietly.
I gathered up our trash and shoved it all into one Subway bag as we finished our drinks. I could feel Marcus’ eyes on me, but I didn’t look up. Not until I felt his hand on mine.
It was hard to do, but I managed to keep from gasping in surprise. It was still there. That little spark that you read about, the one no one really believes exists until you feel it for yourself, we still had it, and that thought made me want to cry.
“We should do something sometime. Get you out of the house.”
I blinked at him and opened my mouth to refuse.
He held up his hand to cut me off. “A bunch of us. Chad, Devon, Erica…” He hesitated for a moment before adding, “Hannah.”
My heart was pounding loudly in my chest I was shocked no one else could hear it. I swallowed hard and chewed on my lip. It wasn’t that it didn’t sound like fun because it did, but I had a bad feeling about it. Just like coming here with him today had probably been a bad idea.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” I sighed.
He frowned. “We don’t have to let it get awkward, Amy.”
I nodded because I knew he meant that but shrugged, unconvinced. “I know, but it would be. Hannah isn’t my biggest fan, and I don’t expect her to be.” I forced a smile, pushing my chair back to stand. “Even some of the most secure girls wouldn’t be okay with their boyfriends spending time with their exes.”
He stood with me and grabbed my drink while I got the trash. I walked over to throw it all away and turned to see him refilling our cups. I took a deep breath. It was hard to be around Marcus, harder than I thought it would be. I wanted us to be friends, but I wasn’t sure that I could do it. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it anymore.
when i woke up thursday, I was greeted with two beaming kids. Andrew and Natalie met me my bedroom door with hugs and huge smiles. They’d insisted on camping out in the living room last night. Mom had set up the kitchen chairs and threw a sheet over them, and the kids crawled in with their pillows and blankets for the night.
I grinned down at two of my favorite people and ruffled Andrew’s hair. I was grateful for the holiday. I got a four-day weekend, which meant time away from Marcus. It hurt because I wanted to be around him, but it was better this way. Our lunch yesterday had been fun, and it made me happy we were comfortable enough to be able to hang out, but time apart was definitely good. Besides, that meant four full days with these munchkins.
“What’s with the smiles, guys?” I asked.
“Mam has a sur—” Natalie started but was cut off my Andrew nudging her arm. “Ow!” She glared up at her brother.
I narrowed my eyes at him as well. “Andrew,” I said sternly.
He sighed, turning towards his sister. “Sorry, Nat.” He looked back up at me and gave me a mischievous grin as he shrugged.
Natalie grinned up at me, her anger at her brother clearly forgotten as she tugged me towards the kitchen. The table was set, and Mom was setting plates with our breakfast on the table when we walked in.
“Hi, honey. Sleep well?” she asked as she busied herself around the kitchen.
“Yeah,” I said with a slight frown.
Honestly, if I hadn’t known better, I’d have thought Mom was trying to butter me up to tell me my dog had died or something, and I didn’t even have a dog.
Andrew helped Natalie into her booster seat before coming over and pulling my chair out for me. Extremely impressed with his manners, I smiled and sat down. He pushed my chair back in. I thanked him, and he took his own seat.
“All right. What’s going on?” I eyed my mom suspiciously.
“What? Can’t I do something nice for my daughter?” She looked at me like I had no reason to complain, which I guess I didn’t. Not that I was really complaining.
“Why do I feel like you’re about to tell me horrible news?”
She sighed, but her grin stayed on her face as she sat down.
I was going crazy. They all seemed so happy, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen. Or had already happened, maybe.
“Mam, can I tell her? Pretty please?” Natalie whispered.
Mom just shook her head.
“Tell me what?” I asked.
Mom looked up at me and then at both of the kids and laid her fork down. This was how you knew things were serious in my house. If people paused while eating, you were either in for the best or worst news possible.
“Honey, there is something I need to tell you, but you have to have an open mind.”
I blinked at her solemn expression. The kids still had huge grins. I was getting major mixed signals here.
“You’re worrying me, Mom.” I pushed my plate back without even taking a bite, my stomach in knots.
“Well, I was hoping to wait until we had all finished eating, but I can see some don’t want to wait.” She playfully glared at the kids, making them both giggle.
“Wait for what?”
“Help me cover these plates, and we’ll show you.”
i was a nervous wreck as Mom drove us through town. Both kids giggled every few minutes in the back seat. If they were in such a good mood about it, then it had to be good, right?
She finally pulled into a small apartment complex, and I furrowed my brow in confusion. Mom was chewing on her lip with a small smile on her face as she parked the car. Natalie was practically bouncing in her booster seat, and Andrew was just grinning at me.
“Mom?” I asked.
She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled something out in her fist. Once my hand was underneath hers, she opened her fist and dropped a single key into my hand. I blinked a couple of times, looking from my mom to the key numerous times.
“What is this?” I needed confirmation.
“We were talking last weekend about you needing a place of your own so you could actually be on your own for a while.”
I stared, open-mouthed.
“So, I wanted to help out. Welcome to your new home, sweetheart.”
The kids started whooping and hollering from the backseat.
I couldn’t believe my mom would do something like that for me. Actually, I could. She was selfless, a saint. She would do just about anything for anyone who needed help.
I loved the idea of having my own apartment, but I couldn’t help but worry about what this cost my mom. First and last month’s rent upfront couldn’t have been cheap, and my mom couldn’t really afford it.
“Wow, Mom. Thank you.” I looked down at the key and took a deep breath. “I’ll pay you back.”
“Nonsense. It’s a gift, Amy. It would be rude not to accept.”
I looked up to see her grinning, though my eyes were threatening to spill over with tears. I loved my mom more than anyone on this earth. She had been there for me through everything. I didn’t know what I would do without her.
Suddenly, I was worried about living alone, but it was something I needed to do, something I should have done a long time ago.
“Who’s gonna help me pack?” I laughed out through my tears.
Natalie and Andrew both yelled their answers. “Me!”
Being away from my mom and these kids would be hard, but I would manage. Somehow.
“Happy Thanksgiving, honey,” my mother said as she lovingly patted my cheek.
Tears filled in my eyes as we got out of the car. I couldn’t wait for my mom and the kids to show me my new place.