new year’s eve wasn’t what you’d think a twenty-six-year-old woman’s would be. I was staying in with my two favorite little people in the world while my mom worked an extra shift tonight for some extra money.
I wasn’t complaining though. Natalie would be in bed before ten, which was late for her, and as much as Andrew wanted to stay up and watch the ball, he wouldn’t make it past eleven. But that was okay. We would spend time together. I’d maybe stay up just late enough to watch the ball drop, and then I’d be in bed myself.
My kitchen wasn’t large enough for a table so the kids were currently situated in the living room in front of the television with their lunch. Call me brave or stupid, or just without the right resources, but a four-year-old and spaghetti weren’t the best combination. But it was one of Nat’s favorites, and the coffee table was really the only place they had to eat.
I had just walked back into the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. I frowned slightly, scooping the pasta on my plate before sitting it down and making my way to the door. Looking through the peephole, I frowned a little deeper. All I could see were roses like someone had intentionally put them in my view to hide their face. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.
I looked over to where the kids were still engrossed in their T.V. show. Satisfied they weren’t paying any attention to me, I slowly opened it and cleared my throat.
“Um, can I help you?” I asked.
My heart was pounding in my chest, and I had a death grip on my door handle. That was, until the huge bouquet of roses was moved out of the way, revealing a smiling Marcus behind them. Relief washed over me.
“What in the world?” I couldn’t help but laugh. I moved to the side to let him in, noting that neither Natalie nor Andrew still had looked up. “What are you doing here?”
“I missed your birthday. I wanted to make it up to you,” he told me like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He walked over and placed the vase of roses down on my counter.
I bit my lip, shutting my door before turning to face him. He was still grinning, and it was infectious. He looked carefree and happy, and though I was sure that had something to do with Hannah and the baby, I didn’t bring it up.
Selfishly, I was ready to forget that detail for now.
“They’re beautiful,” I said as I made my way over to inhale their floral scent. There were two-dozen roses in that vase.
I tried not to think about what that sentiment did to my insides. No one had ever gotten me roses before.
“You looked nervous when you opened the door. I hope you like roses.”
“No, I do. It’s just…” I trailed off, leaning down to breathe them in yet again. “I wouldn’t put it past Josh to pull a stunt like sending me roses like that just to get to me. I wasn’t expecting it to be you.”
There was a change in Marcus’ facial expression at the mention of Josh, but it was gone just as quickly as it had come. I guess I couldn’t have imagined it.
“Is he giving you problems?”
Nope. Didn’t imagine it.
“No. I haven’t heard from him since the other day,” I explained.
He visibly relaxed. “Good.”
“Aunt Amy?”
I turned just in time to see Natalie hide behind my leg at the sight of Marcus. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Nat, this is my friend, Marcus. Can you say hi?”
She waved, but that was about it.
Marcus chuckled as he kneeled in front of me to get down on her level. “So, you’re Natalie, huh?”
She nodded, but didn’t come out from behind my leg.
“I expected you to be taller,” Marcus said with a tilt of his head, grinning down at her.
I was surprised to hear her giggle. She was normally pretty shy.
“I’m only four, silly,” she said, taking a tentative step from behind me.
“Four? I thought you were older!”
I had to give it to him. Marcus seemed to have a way with kids.
He was going to be an amazing father.
The thought actually made me a little sad. That said a lot about me, didn’t it?
“Nope. I’ll be five in Jan-ooo…Jan-ooo.” She tried to sound it out before finally looking up at me for help.
“January,” I told her, and she nodded, looking back at Marcus.
“That’s just a few weeks before my birthday,” Marcus said with a chuckle.
Natalie gasped like it was the coolest news she’d ever heard. To a four year old, it might be.
“No way!”
“Way.” Marcus grinned up at me and winked before standing back to his full height. He didn’t get the stay that way for long.
Natalie grabbed ahold of his hand and pulled him into the living room where Andrew sat silently watching us.
“Marcus,” Natalie said, her small speech impediment that made R’s sound like W’s making him grin. “This is my brother, Andrew.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Andrew,” Marcus said as he held his hand out, which, surprisingly, Andrew took. “Your aunt has told me a lot about you.”
Andrew didn’t reply. He just looked up at Marcus as they shook hands. He wasn’t good with meeting new people. With his mother bringing in new person after new person, it was easy to understand why. Especially when those new people we definitely not good people and didn’t care who knew it. It was understandable that Andrew was a little on edge now. I just hoped it passed.
“Marcus, would you like some lunch?” I asked.
“I’d love some.” He smiled at me briefly over Natalie’s head as she started telling him a story that I’d heard a million times already.
after an hour or so after we’d finished eating, Andrew came out of his shell a little. While I cleaned up after lunch, Marcus got roped into playing Hungry Hungry Hippos in the living room floor by Natalie, only to be asked to join Andrew in some video games after. Marcus didn’t seem to mind, which warmed my heart more.
As much as I hated to admit it, because that just made reality that much harder, I loved watching Marcus with my niece and nephew. It was so easy to see him with his own kids, just relaxing and playing games whenever they wanted. Marcus seemed even more carefree when he was with them than he had when he first walked in the door.
Now, Andrew sat at our feet with his back to the couch, his head rolling back every so often as he fought sleep, and Natalie was curled up, sound asleep in Marcus’ lap. The day had flown by, but we all enjoyed it. Especially me. I could watch Marcus with them all day long. And I pretty much had.
When Andrew was clearly losing his battle, I shook his shoulder gently to wake him up more before telling him to brush his teeth before bed. It wasn’t five minutes later he came back to kiss me on the cheek and tell Marcus goodnight.
“Where is she sleeping?” Marcus asked me as Andrew disappeared into their room.
I laughed quietly. I had actually forgotten she was sleeping on him for a moment.
“With Andrew.” I stood and held out my arms to take her.
Marcus shook his head as he carefully stood with her in his arms. “I’ll take her.”
I sat back down and watched him walk slowing into their room, quietly greeting Andrew as he did. I turned back to the T.V., noting the time before turning the channel to where we could watch the ball drop. We only had about forty-five minutes.
When Marcus came out of the kids’ room, I heard the door click softly before he came back to take his seat next to me.
“I think you’ve made a couple of friends tonight,” I said with a grin.
He smiled in return. “They seem like really great kids, Amy.”
“They are.”
I watched Marcus while he stared at the television. I couldn’t believe how quickly his demeanor changed. Right before my eyes, gone was the carefree lovable man that had been playing with Andrew and Natalie all afternoon, and here was a broken soul. He looked as though he was going to cry, and I had no idea why.
“Marcus?” I asked cautiously, not wanting to startle him. I wasn’t sure if he knew I was paying as close of attention as I was.
“The baby’s not mine,” he whispered.
I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth.
“Do you mean she…” I trailed off, not even wanting to finish the sentence. I may not have been thrilled about the whole situation, but I’d never want this.
“She didn’t cheat on me,” he sighed out, letting his head fall back on the couch. “It was a miscalculation.” He lifted his head to look me in the eye, and my heart broke a little for him. “It’s Justin’s.”
I swallowed hard, not sure what to say, if there was even anything I could say. He looked away from me again, laying his head back on the couch. We sat in silent for a little bit before I found my voice.
“Are you and Hannah…” I wasn’t even sure what I was asking or whether I had a right to. No, I didn’t. It was none of my business.
“We’re done.” The coldness of his voice shocked me. That wasn’t the Marcus I’d come to know and love. This had broken him in more ways than I could have imagined.
“But if she didn’t cheat on you,” I started and sighed when his head snapped up to look at me. “It was a mistake, Marcus. That doesn’t mean—”
“She brought him to the appointment today.”
I frowned, hurting for him, of course, but still failing to see the big issue here. I could understand being upset and hurt. I could even understand needing some time, but to break it off when Justin had a right to know? I felt like there was something more going on here, but I would let Marcus tell me on his own time. I could tell he needed a little understanding.
“I walked away when the ultrasound showed she was farther along than we thought,” he said, and I didn’t dare interrupt. “I just couldn’t deal with it. It tore my heart out to find out that it wasn’t my baby after all the time we had to prepare already.”
My heart broke a little more with every word he spoke. I couldn’t imagine what that would have been like.
“The rational part of me knows that Hannah had no idea, that she wouldn’t have lied to me like this. But you remember how she was acting when we were together.” He looked at me then, his eyes pleading for me to understand. “I’d never known Hannah to act like that either, so I’m not sure I put this past her either.”
I heard the underlying hope he had that he was wrong. As much as this whole situation hurt me, I prayed to God that he was wrong. I’d never want Marcus to know that betrayal. He may have gone about this the wrong way, but he didn’t deserve that.
“After trying to calm down, I realized that it wasn’t the baby’s fault, and it was wrong to punish it. I decided to work things out with her for the sake of the baby. I wanted to stay but only for the baby.” He laid his head back down on the couch and took a deep breath. “I knew I’d be a much better father than that douchebag, but that didn’t mean Hannah and I had to stay together.”
“Marcus.” I took a deep breath and bit my lip as I sorted out the words in my head. “You’re in shock. You do need time to cope with the news, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you love Hannah any less. You guys can work this out.”
I’d barely got the last word I’d said out of my mouth before he came back with his stern rebuttal.
“No. This has been a long time coming.”
My small gasp was enough to bring his head back up. “What do you mean?”
“I’d been debating for a while now if I was staying with Hannah because I loved her and wanted to be with her or if it was because of the baby and that was the right thing to do.”
“Marcus.” I blinked. I knew he loved Hannah. Had I doubted it at all, there was no way I could have thrown away what we had like I did.
“I love Hannah. I do.” He turned on the couch so he was facing me. “I always have and I always will. But…” He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “It wasn’t enough.”
“Marcus.”
I was very articulate tonight, wasn’t I? I couldn’t think of anything else to say, but I felt the need to say something to try and talk some sense into him.
“She wasn’t you, Amy.”
My heart stopped.
Without skipping a beat, he told me about their trip to Tennessee for Christmas and how they spread the news of the baby. He told me about the conversation he’d had with his father and how that was all he’d been able to think about lately, other than the baby, of course. I was shell-shocked. I couldn’t believe my ears.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he started again, eyeing me warily. “This is hasty.”
“Pretty much.” I chuckled lightly, needing to cut some of the tension that formed.
“I’m not asking you for anything. I’m just trying to be honest about how I feel.”
Sincerity shone in his eyes. He needed reassurance, but I wasn’t sure if I could give it to him.
“Promise me something?” I asked, and he nodded, though he seemed skeptical as he did. “Think about it.” I held my hand up to stop him when it looked like he was going to interrupt me. “Take some time for you.”
He opened his mouth again.
I took his hand, squeezing it in mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”
That seemed to be the reassurance he needed because before I knew what was happening, his mouth was on mine, and he had me pinned to the couch. My breath caught in my throat, but I didn’t pull away. Instead, I opened my mouth to invite him in, and he took it, his tongue dancing with mine.
I couldn’t hold back the moan that came from my mouth at his taste. I’d waited for what seemed like forever to taste him again, and now that I had, I knew I should push him away.
But I couldn’t. I wanted this, and selfishly, I was willing to take it.
“Amy.” He breathed heavily as he pulled his lips from mine. His erection pressed into my thigh, and that only made the heat between my legs that much more intense.
I couldn’t fight this. I didn’t want to.
But I knew I’d regret it later.
Apparently sensing my train of thought, he pressed his lips to mine again, his moan now vibrating in my mouth as he ground his hips into mine. I was lost. I needed to push him away now because if I didn’t, there was no going back. The only problem was, he had my wrists in his hands.
“I’ll think about it. I promise.” He breathed in between kisses. “But give me this, Amy. I don’t want to think anymore. I just need to feel.” His voice was pained, and I knew it wasn’t just in sexual frustration. “Please, don’t push me away.”
It was hard to argue with his body flush against mine. I understood his need to not think and to just feel. I had the same need as of late.
“Just tonight,” I finally conceded, and that was the only green light he needed.
He stood and picked me up all in the same movement. If I wasn’t so lightheaded from the sudden turn of events, I’d have been impressed. I nuzzled his cheek with my nose as he walked us to my room.
He just wanted to feel. No, needed to feel. So, tonight, that was what I’d give him.
Tomorrow was another story.
“Happy New Year, Amy.”
I was breathless, my chest rising and falling rapidly. But at this moment in time, everything just felt right. “Happy New Year, Marcus.”