after our christmas party at work, I sat next to Chad and Devon in the party room of Los Muchachos. Quite a few people from work showed up, but Amy wasn’t one of them. I tried not to let that bother me. Today had been our last day of work. Chances were, I wouldn’t see her again until next week when we were back from break.
Hannah and I were leaving tomorrow morning to go to Tennessee for the rest of the week to spend Christmas with my parents. I was excited to see them, and so was Hannah, but there was one huge problem.
We still hadn’t told them about the pregnancy.
I’d be lucky if my mom didn’t kick me out when I told her. No, she wouldn’t do something like that, but I expected a lot of tears from her and disappointed looks from my father. They loved Hannah, and they were warming up to the idea that we were together now. But a baby? Now of all times? That wouldn’t really fly with them.
The biggest plus about staying with my parents? Having an excuse to not have sex with Hannah for a few days. How bad was that? How many guys looked for reasons not to have sex with their girlfriends?
The sex wasn’t the problem. Sex had never been the problem. It was the amount. Ever since Hannah told me she thought I didn’t want her because we’d went without for a few days, I’d tried to reassure her. She’d taken that as a green light to jump me whenever we were together. Literally.
I’d read online—yes, I’d been researching pregnancy to try and get a leg up—that Hannah would be going through a lot of hormonal changes, one of them being a highly increased sex drive. That didn’t seem like an issue.
Until it was.
I felt like a complete dick. Seriously. I should want to have sex with my girlfriend. All the fucking time. But I didn’t. It wasn’t Hannah, not really anyways. I just didn’t want it as much as she did. Never mind the fact that I felt like she was trying to keep ahold of me again, only now she was using sex. I guess that would have worked with most guys, so A plus for trying, I supposed.
Fuck. What was I supposed to do?
“Hey, you okay?”
The sound of Chad’s voice brought me out of my thoughts, and I looked over at him.
“What? Yeah, I’m good.” I smiled to make it seem like I was better than I actually was.
“You sure?” He nodded to where my hand was on the table. “You’ve been staring at that thing for like an hour.” I looked at my hand and frowned. I hadn’t even realized I’d been turning it over and over in my hand.
At our Christmas party, we’d exchanged gifts for Secret Santa. We had a five-dollar limit. I’d gotten Greg, the nutritionist and gave him a gift card to his favorite coffee shop down the street.
When I was handed my small present, I smiled. It was a small box wrapped in red Santa Claus paper. Not that you could see the full image of old Saint Nick because of how small the paper had to be, but still.
I’d torn off the paper. It was a ring box. I laughed, looking around to see if any guilty parties were looking for my reaction. They weren’t. Still in the dark as to my Secret Santa, I opened the box and blinked.
The present was from Amy. I was sure of it.
In the slot where the ring would have been was a key ring, an Oldsmobile model dangling on the chain. I couldn’t hide my grin. It wasn’t a ’72 Nova, but to someone who didn’t know anything about cars, it was pretty damn close. It was even mint green.
I’d glanced through the small crowd of employees, but I couldn’t find Amy. When I’d asked Devon, she said she went home a little early because she had things to do to get ready for the holidays. I’d wanted to text her and tell her I loved my gift but decided against it for now.
Here, I’d been twirling the tiny car in my hand and hadn’t even realized it. If it wasn’t painfully obvious before that I was hung up on something, or more accurately, someone, it definitely was now.
Amy knew how much I loved that car. My dad and I had rebuilt it together. It meant a lot to both of us. I hadn’t even really had a chance to truly mourn its loss. Amy knew that.
It took me a minute to realize Chad had said something to me.
“Hmm?” I asked, raising my brows at him when I looked up.
He just laughed, shaking his head while Devon giggled at his side. “Got something on your mind?” Chad asked, smirking.
Ass. He already knew exactly what I was thinking about.
“No. Not really.” I pretended not to notice Devon looking between us, wondering what we were talking about.
She and Amy were practically best friends, but I had no idea if Amy had told her about the break up in detail. Or if she knew that was how Hannah and I got together.
Fuck. That sounds bad.
“Why didn’t Hannah come tonight, Mark?” Devon asked once I finally put the keychain away.
“She said the thought of Mexican food made her want to puke.” I shrugged.
She laughed. “Yeah, I hear those pregnancy hormones are crazy.”
“You can say that again. Just the other day, all she wanted was food from here,” I said with a laugh.
Devon excused herself to find the waiter for refills, and Chad turned to me. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say since he was waiting until Devon walked away, but I didn’t want to hear it. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t listen. I just had to hold my tongue. The last thing I needed was to piss Chad off.
“Okay, seriously. What’s up?” he asked.
“Just a lot on my mind. I’m worried about taking Hannah home for the holidays and telling my parents about the baby.” I sighed and pulled the keychoin out of my pocket. “And every time I think I’m okay with Amy and I being friends, she does something like this.”
“You think Amy gave you that?” he asked.
“I know she did. No one else would have thought of something like that except maybe you.”
“Yeah, guess you’re right.” Chad sighed back. “I’m sure she isn’t trying to make this hard on you.”
“No, that’s just it. I know she’s not. That’s just not who she is.” I leaned forward, pushing my empty plate forward out of my way, my elbows on the table. “I wish she were just being vindictive, though. It would make this a hell of a lot easier.”
“I’m glad I’m not you.” Chad laughed, clapping me on the back.
“I’m glad you’re not too.” I nodded towards Devon, who was making her way back to use with the waiter in tow, to let him know that’s what I was meaning.
I was glad Chad was happy. He didn’t need to worry about me.
i didn’t text amy. it felt wrong to want to text her when I had Hannah. We weren’t doing anything wrong, but it still felt like cheating. Hannah had asked about her a couple of times, and I told her we still talked. She even knew about me helping Amy with the bed last week. She wasn’t exactly thrilled about it, but she knew nothing happened.
Amy and I were friends.
I looked over to the passenger seat where Hannah was curled up as much as she could be against the door. I smiled, moving my gaze back to the road. We still have a half hour or so until we got to my parents’ house. I wouldn’t wake her just yet.
I couldn’t get over how her body was changing right before our eyes. She had a cute little baby bump that I couldn’t stop touching. My baby was growing inside of her. It was an amazing feeling to know that we created a new life.
Speaking of not being able to stop touching her belly, I reached over and placed my palm right on the middle of her belly. She grinned and covered my hand with hers, her eyes never opening. That was my kid. I kept my hand there for the remainder of the trip.
Eventually, I saw the sign for the road we turned on before getting to my parents’. I moved my hand from Hannah’s belly to her side, wiggling my fingers into her flesh. She laughed and swatted my hand away.
“Come on, Han. We’re almost there.” I tickled her again, laughing when she hit me.
“Stop that!” she said through a yawn, hitting me again until I pulled my hand away. She groaned, finally sitting up in her seat and running her fingers nervously through her hair. “I don’t want to do this anymore. Let’s go back home.”
I laughed. “I’m not driving back home. This was a six-hour trip after all the stops we made!”
She groaned again, laying her head back on the seat and looking over at me.
“You’ll be fine,” I said.
But I honestly wasn’t sure.
I took a deep breath as I pulled into the driveway and parked the car. Hannah reached back for her coat in the backseat. Hopefully, it would hide her belly long enough for us to tell them the good news. It would have to. If she took it off, it was too obvious.
“I’ll grab our bags if you want to go ahead and go inside.” I took her hand in mine, hoping to reassure her, though I was a nervous wreck too.
“No, I’ll wait with you.”
I nodded and let go of her hand so we could get out of the car.
After grabbing our duffle bags, I followed Hannah up the walk and to the front door. She hesitated, looking back at me, and for a moment, I thought she might ring the doorbell. I smiled and nodded to the door. She tensed before turning to walk through it.
“Marcus? Hannah?” My mother’s voice could be heard from where she was in the kitchen. She must have heard the door open.
“It’s us, Mom,” I called back, sitting our bags down by the door before taking Hannah’s hand and going to find her in the kitchen.
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here.” Mom wrapped her arms around me. I released Hannah’s hand to hug her back.
“Me too, Mom. I’ve missed you.” I definitely missed having them around. “Where’s Dad?”
“He ran to the store. He’ll be back shortly.” She let go of me and turned to Hannah. “We’re so glad to have you here with us for Christmas, Hannah.” She hugged her tightly, whispering, “just like old times.”
I smiled. At my mother’s words, I knew this was a good decision. Hannah belonged with us for Christmas when her family was away. I should have thought of that before we were even together.
“Marcus,” Mom started as she let go of Hannah but held her at arm’s length. “Why don’t you go put your stuff in the spare room while Hannah and I catch up for a moment?”
“Okay.”
Hannah gave me a pleading look, and I knew she wanted me to stay in the kitchen with them.
My mother turned to go to the stove where her tea kettle was whistling.
I leaned in and whispered into Hannah’s ear, “You’ll be fine. I’ll just be a minute.” After kissing the side of her head, I went back to the front door to grab our things.
“Take your coat off, dear. Stay awhile.” I could hear my mother playfully tell Hannah in the kitchen, and I knew I had to hurry.
during dinner, hannah stayed uncharacteristically quiet. My parents both noticed. I could see my dad giving Mom a look every once in a while, and I’d look over, and Hannah’s head would be down while she picked at her food. Hannah had tried to stay scarce until dinner so they wouldn’t see her belly, but she might not have been as careful as she’d thought.
Tonight, apparently, mashed potatoes made her sick. I was never going to get the hang of these hormones.
I reached under the table for Hannah’s hand, which she squeezed before looking up at me. I raised my brows, subtly nodding towards my parents, and I thought she might cry. She was more nervous than I’d originally thought. Now, I didn’t know how to say what needed to be said. Finally, she nodded and chewed on the inside of her cheek. This was it.
“Mom. Dad,” I said, looking up at them across the table. Hannah squeezed my hand so hard it was starting to hurt when they looked up at us. “Hannah and I have something we need to tell you.”
“What is it, son?” Dad asked calmly.
I looked over at mom to see her looking worried. She must have had an idea of what we were talking about.
“Well…” I looked over again at Hannah, taking a deep breath as she looked back at me, her eyes full of unshed tears. I almost stopped right then, but they needed to know. I kept my eyes on Hannah. “We’re having a baby.”