THE COLD AIR OF THE EARLY morning blew into Holly’s face as she left the bar with Rodney. It was two in the morning, and she still wasn’t as drunk as she’d wanted to be.

“So, did you enjoy your twenty-eighth birthday, missy?” Rod asked.

“I did,” she said, thinking back to Jake’s kiss, not realizing she was biting her lower lip.

“Spill, what happened?”

“N-nothing.” Her voice wavered. 

“Hmm… why don’t I believe you? Your lip-biting is always a dead giveaway. Definitely not nothing. I’ve only seen you do that once, and it was when you got some lip action with what’s-his-name.”

Holly laughed. “And then he found out about Jamie.”

Rod laughed, too. “It wasn’t going to work with that dude, anyway. That was just a three-day fling, and thank heavens there was no sex involved.”

She looked at Rod.

“Tell me,” he pleaded.

“It’s not what you think. But okay.” She knew she had to tell him something, but she couldn’t tell him that she’d kissed Jake, so she decided to go with another kind of truth. “I saw him today.”

Rod’s eyes widened. “Who, Steve?”

She nodded. 

“Annnd? What did he have to say when he saw you?”

“He looked at me as if he was seeing a ghost.” She gave him another truth, just not today’s.

“And that’s why you have the lip-biting thing going on?”

Holly smiled. “I just forgot how good-looking he was, that’s all.”

Rodney gave her a side hug, and kissed her temple. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know it couldn’t have been easy to see him again.”

“Hey, it’s fine. I’d be lying if I said I was over him, but I guess I’ll get there, right?”

He nodded and winked, letting her know that she was only human, and everyone had weaknesses. Even if hers was for men like Jake Peters. Now she was feeling like an idiot for having kissed him. How could she have been so stupid? He’d left her, he seemed the type to do it again based on his disregard for his fiancée. She was wasting her time.

That night she struggled to sleep, worrying her ass off about what he’d meant when he’d said, I’ll see you tomorrow. She couldn’t do this again. Maybe she could tell him that she’d been drunk, that it had been a mistake, and that it had meant absolutely nothing. But, he’d know she was lying. He knew what she was like drunk.

The alarm clock went off with an irritating buzzing noise at around five. Her eyes felt as if they’d been burned into their sockets and she struggled to open them. Hauling herself out of bed, then practically crawling to the bathroom to take a shower, was the only way she was going to start the day.

Lukewarm water caressed her skin. For a few minutes the world was a happy place, before reality came crashing down. She’d kissed Jake! And not just any kiss—it had been passionate, feverish, and a bit slutty. 

Guilt, extreme guilt, filled her core and moved up her chest. How could she have done this to another woman, not to mention his two-year-old son? She hated that he’d had a child with another woman who got all his attention, when his first child got nothing. 

Truth be told, Holly was jealous, but Kate and Michael were innocent. She’d acted stupidly, which could result in both his fiancée and son being hurt. She couldn’t allow herself to get caught up in Jake Peters again. She had to stop whatever had happened last night from happening again.

*********

The entire day, Holly felt as if she was walking on eggshells—both from regret and the mild hangover from the night before. What made it worse was that Jake was nowhere to be seen. When there was still no sign of Jake by the time her shift ended, she knew he wouldn’t make an appearance, which was a good thing. 

Holly regretted what had happened between them. It was already hard to be around Jake. Now it would be extremely uncomfortable as well. What had she been thinking? This went against all her morals! She hoped Jake was feeling the same regret, though she was sure that would sting just like his rejection five years ago. She felt the same now as she had back then when he’d rejected her and their children. When he’d said those nine words. Whenever she closed her eyes, she was still able to hear him in her head. It is what it is. I got to go. Today especially, as she had to constantly remind herself what he’d done five years ago.

It was late evening when Holly flopped onto her bed, bouncing a few times. She struggled to fall asleep. She was still battling her hangover. Emotions of guilt-slash-hatred-slash-rejection had consumed her all day. She hated Jake for doing this to her. Well, no more. 

Holly woke with the birds and got ready for work. Before starting her day, she grabbed some breakfast. At work she found her name written next to inventory. It was a task that took the entire freaking day, or so Rev had told her. She’d never had to do it before. It had to be payback from Desire.

Sighing to herself, she picked up the stock sheet from Sue at main reception.

“Counting today, Holls?”

“Yay, me,” she joked, which made Sue laugh.

Every ward had its own stockroom, which needed to be counted every fourth night. It was the task of an intern, usually a different one every time. For some reason, Holly was convinced it was to become her duty from now on. 

She knew it was because of that night Holly had gone off on Jake because he couldn’t save Maggie Davenport. Des had sort of become Jake’s Rodney at Downsend, not that Holly thought that Des was into brains or anything. It was another thing she added to her list of reasons why getting involved with Jake Peters again would be a big mistake. Someone would pick it up, and then what? No, it had to stop before it really started.

“Forty-six, forty-seven, forty-eight…” She was counting bandages when the door opened, but she didn’t look up. When Rev asked her where the gauze was, she lost track of what she was counting. Pointing to the gauze, she took stock of what he removed and marked it off. She sighed and started recounting the bandages.

She was done with the third stockroom by lunchtime. If things carried on at that pace, she might be able to get out of there before seven. 

Holly sank down into a seat next to Rev in the cafeteria. He and Cindy were busy discussing one of their cases. 

“Is this the same guy we talked about last week? He’s still here?” Holly asked. The patient was an elderly gentleman, one Cindy complained about constantly because he was extremely rude. Holly listened as they spoke about how his problem had been neurological all this time. She deflated. If this turned into a life-threatening case, Oliver wouldn’t touch it. Which meant that Jake would take over. She couldn’t deal with seeing him. Not yet. The memory of him pressing his body against hers at the club, and kissing her until her ears practically sang, was locked in her head. 

Cindy used to hang out with Tanya in the beginning, but lately had started hanging around Rev. She was a talker, and Holly hated the twinkle in her eyes whenever she mentioned Jake. The female gender in general had a twinkle in their eyes whenever Jake’s name was mentioned.

Why had she kissed him? Why had she wanted to? She should’ve let him leave and left it there, but she hadn’t. “I’ve got to go. There are still a few stockrooms I need to work through,” Holly said halfway through her salad.

“You’re not even done with your lunch.”

“Not hungry. Inventory doesn’t really help you work up an appetite,” she joked.

“Then I should sign myself up for the next one!” Cindy yelled after her.

Holly rolled her eyes and smiled, waving over her shoulder as she left the cafeteria. Next on her list was the children’s ward. Their stockroom was huge; if she was lucky, she’d finish it within two hours. If she managed not to think about what happened with Jake at all. Two hours should be more than enough.

Her mind felt ready to explode. She was halfway through cataloging in the children’s ward. Two nurses entered and took a few things, but she was completely lost as to where on the stock sheet they were. That ended up costing her another half hour, and it was already two o’clock.

Taking a huge breath, she filled her lungs, then started counting the 5 ml syringes of which there were ten on a long string. Picking up all the strings, she started the monotonous task of counting them one by one. Just then, the door opened again, but she didn’t lose her concentration this time. “Eight, nine, ten,” she counted to herself, writing down the total on a separate pad. Without turning, she said, “Please, just tell me what you are taking and how many!”

No reply.

As she was about to turn to repeat what she’d said, a strong arm snaked her around the waist, pulling her back. Warm lips landed on the soft skin on the nape of her neck. Holly knew immediately who it was; his scent confirmed it. Her eyes closed involuntarily as he grabbed her tighter around the waist and pulled her back into him. 

And the first thing she felt was the hardness of his shaft pressing into her back. As much as she wanted him, she couldn’t go there. She wouldn’t. She had to remain strong. She stiffened at his touch.

Jake’s hands roamed over her stomach, and Holly had to hold her breath to keep herself from giving in. 

“Jake. Stop.” Her words came out in a broken croak. His hands stilled on her stomach, but she could feel his arms tighten. She squirmed out of his grip and turned to face him. His expression was one of disbelief. Clearly, he hadn’t expected her to deny him. She scoffed at the look on his face. Asshole! She couldn’t believe he’d think she’d be so readily available.

“What are you doing here, Jake?” 

“I told you I’d see you tomorrow, and I know I’m a day late, but I couldn’t get away yesterday. I tried, but Kate had an emergency, and I had to pick Michael up,” he said, his eyes sparkling at her.

Holly let out a frustrated groan. “That’s not what I mean, Jake. I mean, what are you doing here? You’re getting married. You have a son! What the fuck is going through your mind right now? Did you really think that just because we shared a kiss two nights ago while I was intoxicated that I’d just jump onto your penis the first opportunity you gave me? Do you really think I’m that cheap?”

Jake’s eyes widened at her outburst. He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, Holly. You were the one who came running after me at the bar. You sent out pretty clear signals when you had your legs wrapped around my waist.”

Holly laughed haughtily. “I might have been in the mood to screw you that night, but it was just the alcohol flowing through my veins. Besides, I took care of that urge the minute I got home, thanks to one of my birthday presents.” She glared at him. “Believe me, it did the trick. Much better than you ever did.”

“Holly Scallanger, choosing tofu over meat?” Jake spluttered. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

His shocked expression morphed into something Holly could only describe as wanton lust. He stepped closer, pressing himself tightly against her body. “Give me half an hour and I’ll remind you exactly what I can do to you,” he whispered seductively. 

His scent was overwhelming her senses. His closeness was scrambling her mind. Her heart—the little deceiver that it was—fluttered. She was desperate to clear her throat, but if she did, it would give away how much she wanted him, and then the strong façade she’d just put on would disappear.

“No thanks. I’m busy,” she replied, biting her lower lip.

Jake stared at it for a while. His jaw was slightly askew, something that used to drive her insane. His eyes met hers. “You have no idea how fucking crazy you are making me right now,” he whispered.

“I feel for you, but that’s just too bad,” she replied. She put her hand on his chest and pushed him a few steps back. Bad idea. Her palms tingled from where she’d touched him.

“Half an hour.”

“No, Jake. I really need to finish counting stock.”

“Fine,” he growled. But a devilish grin spread across his face. “Count your stupid stock, then.” And with that, he knocked a whole bunch of bandages off the shelf onto the floor.

Her frustration turned to irritation, but she stared at him with a straight face. So immature, but so fucking hot.

“But I promise you, before this day is over, you will be begging me.”

“Begging you for what, exactly?” she said with a slight flirt in her tone as he turned to leave.

Stopping, he gave her his sexy chuckle over his shoulder. “To fuck the living daylights out of you, of course.” 

**********

Fifteen minutes. Fifteen fucking minutes later and she was still standing in the exact same spot, replaying Jake’s last phrase over and over in her mind. To fuck the living daylights out of you, of course.

She’d imagined what that would look like and, fuck, she really wanted that, and him, so badly. But, if she went in search of him now, everything she was trying so hard to make right, would be for nothing.

Crouching, she picked up the bandages he’d knocked to the ground and put them back on the shelf. The stock counting continued. Her pocket vibrated, and clicking her tongue, she dug for her phone. One message was displayed. She opened it, but didn’t recognize the number ending with three threes.

I can’t believe you prefer a piece of fucking rubber over my meat.

Swallowing hard, she felt her body heat up in seconds. She knew exactly who the message was from.

Where did you get my number?

Seconds later, she received a reply.

Residents have their perks.

You are not a resident. You are a contractor. Thank heaven for that, she thought.

Don’t try to change the subject, Holly. Why??

At first, she wasn’t sure which ‘why’ he referred to. Did he mean about five years ago, or why she’d used a vibrator? In the end, she went with the toy.

I told you. Tofu does the trick better than you ever did.

She knew she shouldn’t send it, but she did. Work awaited, so she put her phone down on the shelf. It wasn’t long before it started buzzing. Forcing herself to ignore it, she carried on with the mundane task of inventory. But try as she might, she could not concentrate. Sighing, she picked up her phone again and read the message, her eyes wide.

How long did it take tofu to make you come?

What the hell? He’d never talked like this before. What they’d had was explosive, but talk had never been blunt or direct. She wasn’t sure if she liked it, or found it crude. But that one word was driving her insane.

About half an hour. Not that it’s any of your business, really.

She hit send before her mind told her to delete it.

Don’t answer any more messages, she told herself, chucking her phone back onto the shelf. But the word come remained stuck in her head.

It buzzed again, although she kept on counting. When she realized that she had to count one package twice, she knew it was no use. She picked up her phone.

Half an hour? I remember giving you like two orgasms in half an hour.

Why had she even answered him? Fuck! Mentioning using the vibrator had been a complete lie, and now it was biting her in the ass. The saddest part was that she’d absolutely loved every second of having sex with Jake.

Can’t remember anymore, it was such a long time ago.

That would put a damper on him replying further. He needed to stop sending messages. Yet her phone went off again.

I said I’d remind you.

No thanks, Jake. 

Thankfully, the messages stopped for a while, not that it helped Holly in the least. She struggled to get back into flow of counting, wanting to kick herself for starting this conversation with him. Or, it could be for having rejected him an hour ago. Or both.

When her phone buzzed again, she smiled and picked it up.

Okay, let’s try this. I’ve learned a helluva lot more these last four years. And what I now know will drive you insane.

Holly bit her upper lip.

Thought your bedroom vocabulary was a little different. Very direct.

Steering away from the subject at hand, should do the trick if she stuck to his bedside manner.

You don’t like it?

She pondered his question. 

Not sure yet.

Her phoned buzzed again. 

Well… see how it goes, and let me know if anything I say turns you cold.

Who says I’m not cold now?

Stop trying to change the subject. I know you are not cold, you weren’t even cold in the stockroom. Thought I’d humor you for whatever is going on inside that head of yours.

Shit! He’d seen straight through her. 

Fine, whatever.

In the ten minutes of silence that followed, a part of her felt like crap that she’d tried so hard to reject him. She wanted him, she had always wanted him, and she would always want him. That much she knew. Apparently, so did he.

The buzzing sound made the crappy feeling disappear immediately.

You are driving me CRAZY, woman. Stop rejecting me.

She laughed out loud.

Stop saying I’m driving you crazy.

Why? Does it make you crazy knowing that you make me crazy?

She grunted. It was exactly that. Knowing that she drove him insane was driving her insane. But she wouldn’t give in. She couldn’t, so she sent an LOL.

You wouldn’t LOL if you knew what I wanted to do with you.

“Okay, then,” Holly said, taking a deep breath. 

I really don’t care.

Humor me, Holly.

Fine, whatever. Let’s hear it.

Another ten minutes of silence ticked by. She put her phone down, and started counting the syringes again, but as soon as she was done, she picked up her phone. Still no message. She moved on to antibiotics, and once again started the tedious process. After what seemed like hours had gone by, her phone buzzed. Hurriedly scrolling down, her eyes picked out certain words, like fuck here and there, scream and come. It was a long message. Scrolling up to the top, she read the message fully.

I warned you, so here goes. If you let me, I will show you, slowly, this new thing I can do with my fingers. It drives women crazy.

First mistake. She closed her eyes and grit her teeth. Knowing he drove other women crazy wasn’t something she wanted to know. Her stomach roiled. She hated how those words made her feel. But, she decided to finish reading the whole message, even though he’d completely killed it for her with how he started.

I’ll fuck you so hard with my fingers, slowly inserting one into your tight wetness. I’ll drive you to the brink of insanity with just one finger, before inserting another one, and another. You’ll have to bite down on your shirt to muffle your moaning and screaming, not that it will help because you’ll be coming so hard from my thumb stroking and gliding over your clit in torturously gentle movements. Your pussy will clench around my fingers when my mouth worships your neck. My teeth will gently ravage your earlobe, and I’ll whisper exactly what you’re doing to me while I’m fucking you with my fingers. You will feel my dick harden against your back, growing so rock hard, you’ll be begging me to bury it deep inside you, in that sexy, breathy voice of yours. But I’ll make you wait. You won’t get my cock until your mind goes blank from my fingers sliding in and out of you, slowly at first, then quicker each time, faster and faster, ramming into you as far as they can go, until that heady butterfly feeling grows inside of you. And as your breath quickens, and you beg me to take you to the moon and back just from what my fingers alone are doing to you, I’ll up the ante, pump faster, until you are dripping wet and your mind shuts down.

Holly bit her lower lip. What. The. Actual. Fuck? Jake had always been good in bed, but he’d never, not once, spoken to her like that. She couldn’t help but imagine him doing those things to her. Her eyes were huge orbs. What the fuck, she thought again. Another two messages had come through while she’d read the first one. Opening it, she blinked. There was more.

You will squeal, which will only drive me even more insane.  

He’d added a smiley face with two hearts next to it. She gnawed her upper lip.

You are going to come. You will beg me to put my rock-hard cock inside of you, beg me to fuck your brains out… but still, I’ll hold off, because my fingers won’t have had enough of your pussy yet. 

Holly did not want to read any further. She was starting to feel flushed, but she couldn’t stop. She needed to know how it would end, even though she was unsure as to how she felt at his choice of words. Truth be told, the feeling in her belly and her hitched breathing answered that. Yet she struggled to admit to herself that she might be a dirty talk kind of girl. As much as she was shocked at Jake’s naughty words, she was enjoying it. She opened the last message.

You will get that feeling, the one that pulls you in opposite directions, and then you’ll explode, see stars, and my fingers will continue to pump into you, pistoning in and out to the sound of your wetness. I’ll bite down on your neck, slowly sucking your soft skin into my mouth. When your back begins to arch against my body, and you yell through clenched teeth as your pussy convulses around my fingers, I will add my other two fingers, while my thumb strokes your clit, stretching you to the maximum as I fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before… until I’ve wrenched as many orgasms out of you as I can before you collapse… until your pussy runs dry.

That is just the beginning. So, tell me. Are you hot or not?

Holly licked her lips. She swallowed hard; her throat had become dry. She wanted that so badly, her body wanted that, but she didn’t know if she could go on playing this game anymore. No mistake, she’d loved every single word he wrote, she didn’t even give a shit anymore about him having driven other women crazy with his hands. She just wanted to be one of those women.

She was desperate to reply that she was burning hot, that she wanted him to fuck her brains out, but she refrained. She wouldn’t. Instead, she sent him one word.

Impressive.

His reply was almost immediate. Jeepers, he’s fast!

Correction. Fucking impressive! There must be something wrong with you if you aren’t turned on, because I’m literally dying over here thinking about doing all of that to you.

Holly chuckled.

I need to get back to work. Talk to you later.

Holly’s last message didn’t prevent Jake from sending her more raunchy messages. All of them involving what he was going to do to her. He started one message off where his fingers slowly slid out of her and he replaced them with his tongue. 

Holly wanted to tell him to come get her, but she stuck with playing hard to get. The messages were almost at the climax. Jake’s words formed images in her mind and she could practically feel everything he was describing. She wouldn’t be able to pretend it wasn’t turning her on. He’d seriously riled her up. She was already about to explode and that was just from dirty text messages.

Her phone beeped as she made her way from the fourth floor to the fifth. Her face was hot, as if she’d been out in the sun. Aggie looked at her oddly, but Holly waved it off.

“A/C is out. Dang, but it’s hot.”

When she reached the fifth floor’s stockroom, she pulled her phone out of her pocket before she started the stock count, and sent Jake a text.

Still not doing anything for me.

It’s not over yet, Holly. My tongue will leave your delicious pussy, and I won’t be able to handle your begging anymore. I’ll have no choice but to rip off my scrub pants, pull down my boxers, palm my engorged shaft, and shove it inside you, as far as I can go, then fuck you so hard the entire sixth floor will know someone in the stock room is having hot sex. I’m sure one or two memories are returning now?

Holly was practically panting but kept her cool when replying.

I just started with the fifth floor.

*I’m shaking my head* You’re still fucking cold. I’m not. You are driving me insane, and I fucking have to go attend to a patient now. So, thanks for that, Henry.

Seeing that name made her laugh. He’d called her that a long time ago. 

Shaking her head, Holly got back to the task at hand.  It was already four in the afternoon, and she felt as if she were going to go mad. Often, she ended up counting twice, because she couldn’t get the image of Jake fucking her—the way he’d said he was going to in his messages—out of her head.

Eventually, she finished with the stockroom. Still no message from Jake. Taking the stairs to the sixth floor, she felt somewhat refreshed when the breeze from the air conditioner washed over her. At least the damn thing was working up here.

The sound of someone running had her thinking that there might be an emergency. Pushing the heavy door open with both hands, it was suddenly pulled closed in her face from someone behind her. The next thing she knew, she was shoved against the wall, followed by lips crushing down on her, kissing her as if someone’s life depended on it.

Jake.

She couldn’t deny her need anymore, so she did the one thing she’d told herself she wouldn’t do. She gave in. Her lips parted and she kissed him back. It was hot and perfect—just like his first kiss, yet this one was angry, and hungry, a kiss she never wanted to end. Where her stock sheets had gone was anybody’s guess. She hadn’t heard anything hit the ground, but they weren’t in her hands anymore, because her hands were now tangled in his hair. Jake gripped her under ass and lifted her. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pulled him closer. Jake returned the gesture by grinding his rigid shaft into her core. His hardness against her was spectacular. Her heart raced with desire.

Both groaned simultaneously. A moan left Holly’s mouth when Jake moved his hips in a circular motion. 

Trying to speak through their kissing, she managed to say, “Jake… We can’t…”

Jake body tensed, but he didn’t stop.

“Not here. Someone might walk in on us,” Holly panted.

Jake stopped, moving his lips to just below her ear, then started laughing. “I fucking hate you right now, you know that?” He looked at her and bit his own lip.

Holly stared, mesmerized, wanting to touch his lips while he did that, but also wanting to ask him why he hated her, although the answer was pretty clear. She was toying with him today, riling him up, too, she could feel it.

He surprised her when he said, “We can’t, period. I have to go to the OR in three minutes for an emergency operation.”

“You’re fucking kidding me, seriously?”

He laughed, then nodded. “Let that be a lesson, missy.” Unwrapping her legs from around his waist, he waited until her feet hit the floor, slapped her ass hard, licked his lips, and promptly walked away.

“How long is the operation?” she asked, as he was about to open the door.

“About twelve hours, maximum.”

Bringing her wrist up, she looked at the time. Past four. “With the rate the inventory is going, I might still be here.”

Chuckling, Jake stated, “I hope for your sake you’re not, because if you are, I’m going to fucking tear you apart.” With a chuckle, he left.

 Tear her apart, indeed. How the fuck was she going to get that image out of her head?

The sixth floor was a nightmare. Several nurses waltzed in and out to stock up for the night shift. So Holly left them to do their thing, and went to the board to see in which OR Jake was operating. She decided to go and watch, but as she neared, the galley was filled with doctors. Just her luck. Sighing, she went after a cup of coffee and decided to grab some dinner as well, before making her way back to the stockroom, which she managed to finish in record time. She still had three more stockrooms left. Surely, this had to be the longest an intern had ever taken to do the inventory.

It was obvious that she wasn’t going to be around by the time Jake finished, and she wasn’t going to stall for time, either. Maybe today hadn’t been such a total bust; she hadn’t slept with him, yet, and it was just mainly just kissing… okay, slutty kissing, but it hadn’t progressed to anything beyond that. Who knew if the next time she’d be able to stop herself again. They could have this type of relationship, nothing more, just texts and texts, and perhaps Kate would eventually find the texts. Ugh, she felt crappy again. Why, why did she want him back so badly?

As it now stood, she was priming Jake up for Kate. Really, the woman should thank her, because her sex life was going to become hot, if it wasn’t already.

Holly hated knowing that he went to Kate every night. They probably had crazy sex, too, which in turn would be the reverse of what she had just thought about Kate. It was a vicious cycle; she primed him for Kate, and Kate primed him for her. Who knew what he would try to do to her the next time she saw him? She couldn’t let whatever he had planned happen, because although she might not be able to deny him, she would take control of the situation and find a way to do things the way she wanted.

Holly finally managed to get a spot in the gallery, although she still had one more room to count. But she needed a break as numbers kept twisting around in her mind. Jake was in scrubs, a black and luminous green bandanna covering his hair. His angry music was playing in the background, and she smiled, shaking her head as she watched him cutting away at his patient’s brain. The huge image on the screen of what he was doing was disgusting. She’d never liked anything to do with the brain, but Rodney couldn’t stop talking about it.

“What’s next?” Jake finally asked.

Both Tanya and Desire was assisting him with the surgery.

Tanya answered. Holly tried to pay attention to what he was doing exactly, as well as see where and how big the tumor was. A vision came to mind. Stop thinking about big things, she scolded herself, blushing.

“Nope,” Jake answered. “You just killed your patient.”

Holly knew the answer, thanks to Rod. He’d forced her to go through his notes with him so he could impress TBG. She tuned out the conversation as she watched Jake work for a while. She glanced at her watch and decided she should probably get back to inventory. She slipped out of the gallery and headed to the next stockroom. Her phone rang, and looking at her screen, she saw that it was Jane. She put down her clipboard and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mommy. I got a loose tooth!”

“A loose tooth? What happened?”

“I fell on my face.”

“Jamie, how on earth?”

“Trevor pushed me, but the teacher told him never ever, ever to do that again.”

“Was there blood?”

“Nanna says that you don’t have to worry about it. She took me to Uncle Frankie and he cleaned the blood, see?” Holly shook her head as Jamie started to talk funny. She’d probably lifted her lip up to show her what it looked like as if Holly could see it. Yeah… but she was still a smart little girl.

“As long as it’s not sore, babe. I hope you hit Trevor back.”

“Nanna says we don’t hurt others on purpose.”

“Nanna doesn’t always give the best advice. You need to learn how to defend yourself, pumpkin.”

“Okay, next time I’ll hit Trevor back.”

“Okay, love you. Let me speak to Nanna.”

“Love you, too, Mommy.”

“Mom! She’s got a loose tooth? Was there lots of blood? And I hope you had a word with her teacher. This is not okay.”

“Calm down. I gave her a piece of my mind, and Trevor’s mother called to apologize.”

“Good.” Holly was upset. She felt guilty for not being there for her daughter.

“Jamie’s teacher says Jamie hasn’t been paying attention in class. She’s also been backtalking in class and not listening. We have to do some about that, sweetie.”

“What do you suggest I do, Mom? I’m almost three thousand miles away. My nightly calls with Jamie can’t accomplish much. She doesn’t sit still long enough to have a long conversation over the phone.”

“I know, sweetheart. I was just saying that, so you could think of solutions on your day off.” Jane sighed.

“Sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean it like that. I just miss Jamie terribly, and I already feel like I should have stayed in Seattle.”

“I know, Holly. Don’t beat yourself up about it. So, how goes it around Jake? Seen him much?”

“What about him?” Holly could hear the guilt tinging her voice. Shit.

“Has he tried to speak to you again?”

“No, Mom.” 

“Good. I’ll speak to you tomorrow, then. Take care, sweetheart.”

“You too, Mom. Give Jamie an extra kiss, okay? And send me a picture.”

“I’ll do that. Bye, Holly.”

With only a few more shelves to work through, she was close to getting out of there. Finally, by nine in the evening, Holly’s laborious task for the day was completed. Leaving the stockroom, she closed the door and made her way to the reception area where she needed to hand in the stock sheets. She wished she never had to do inventory ever again. Not only did she hate counting, she’d almost had sex in one of the stockrooms. At least, that was what would have happened if she’d kept her mouth shut and hadn’t rejected Jake.

Running down the stairs, she froze when she saw Jake speaking to Michaela, one of the night receptionists, as he filled out a form. He was out of scrubs and ready to go home. Rejection filled her core again. He hadn’t even called to check if she was still there. Shaking her head, she descended the rest of the way and walked to reception.

“Finally done, sweetheart?” Sue asked her.

“Yeah, let’s just hope someone else gets it next time. There you go. Just make sure that the Queen of the Desert gets it.”

Both Michaela and Sue stifled their laughter. From the corner of her eye, just before she left reception, she noticed that Jake was pretending she wasn’t there. 

Opening her locker, she grabbed her clothes and got changed, but she was suddenly so full of sorrow that she only wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she calmed down somewhat. She hated feeling so conflicted. She wanted him, but she knew if she followed her lust, she could jeopardize everything. She hated that being in Boston and seeing Jake again had brought back the feelings she’d thought she’d buried long ago. She never should have agreed to go to Downstairs for her birthday. This emotional rollercoaster she was on was because of that tender moment they’d shared at the bar. If he hadn’t kissed the top of her head, she wouldn’t have gone after him, she wouldn’t have kissed him, and nothing would have happened today. She’d still be able to hate him. 

Her phone buzzed, alarming her for a second. Pulling it out of her handbag, she looked at it for a couple of seconds before unlocking the screen. There was one message, from none other than Jake. She glanced at the message and closed her eyes. Damn it. She pushed the rational, logical, and moral voice inside her head to the back of her mind, effectively shutting down. One time. She’d give in just this once, just to get him out of her system.

I’m waiting outside. Just hurry that sexy ass of yours.

With an erratic heartbeat, she closed the message. 

The air outside was refreshing, but it didn’t cool Holly down as much as she wanted it to. As she didn’t see Jake anywhere, it was safe to assume he’d been bluffing. She let out a small sigh. She wasn’t sure if the sigh conveyed her relief or her frustration. Her phone rang, and her screen lit up with a number she now recognized as the one stalking her all day with dirty talk that had made her blood boil.

“I thought you said twelve hours.”

“I said a maximum of twelve hours.”

She bit her lower lip, trying to suppress her smile.

“Please don’t say it,” he begged, and she closed her eyes. “I know you can’t be cold yet.”

She giggled softly, pushing the moral voice in her head deeper down. If she allowed her mind to start rationalizing now, she would never get him out of her system. She’d take this one night before she allowed her mind to start reasoning with the pros and cons. 

The irrational part of her mind told her that Jake was hers first, that she also had a child with him, and that rightfully she should be allowed to be with him. And she’d let the irrational part of her mind roam free tonight.

“Turn around. See the dark spot right below that tree? I’ll pick you up there,” he said, disconnecting the call before Holly could say anything. She took a deep breath. She ran down the few steps that led to the entrance and headed toward the tree he’d indicated.

She took another deep breath when she reached it, but she didn’t see him. Irritated, she tapped her foot, feeling like a dog waiting for its master. She refused to think about Kate or about Michael. She thought about Jamie, about the little girl who needed her daddy, too. Yet she couldn’t tell him about his little girl. And she wouldn’t. 

A big black SUV came driving toward her. Holly squinted, taking in the license plate—The Beast. It was the same SUV that had sat in front of her a couple of months ago in traffic. When it stopped directly in front of Holly and the passenger door opened, she knew it had been Jake that night, which meant he’d seen her in Rev’s car. Shaking her head, she climbed up into the SUV.

“Seriously?” She gave him a grave look.

“What?” He had his poker face on. 

“It was you that day in the traffic.”

Unable to maintain his composure, he laughed. “I had to, sorry.”

“You are an idiot, you know that?”

“Yes, I do. Especially when it comes to you.”

Sighing, she sat back and looked out the window, pretending she hadn’t heard the last part. Why had he left her, then, five years ago, if he was such as sucker for her like she was for him? Why hadn’t it worked? Nothing made any sense. She was trying to go into this for only one thing—sex—and she was sure that was all Jake wanted as well. But the question was: if she were to ask him what had happened, and why they hadn’t worked out, would he say what she wanted to hear? She pushed that thought aside, because thinking those things would only make the moral part of her brain take over, and she was not going to be moral tonight. 

Holly realized that they were on the road that led to P&E.  “Where are you taking me?”

“I have to make a quick stop at P&E.”

Holly gasped. “Are you insane?”

“I thought I’d already answered that,” he joked.

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. What if someone sees me? In your car!”

“They won’t. Just stay inside, and duck if you want.”

“Jake.”

“Holly, I need to go and pick something up. It will take five minutes. I’ll park extremely far if that makes you feel any better, but someone might catch up with me before I reach the SUV, and then we will have a problem on our hands.”

“Okay, fine.” She sighed. A twinge of unease settled in her heart when they entered the parking lot. He parked in the space allocated to him, which had a huge sign up against the wall that read Dr. J. M. Peters.

“What does the M stand for?”

Jake chuckled. “If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you.” He jumped out of the car and ran to the entrance.

Snorting, Holly scooted down in the seat, but kept watching the entrance, praying that nobody she knew walked out of there. The minutes felt like hours, and finally she saw Jake running back to the SUV with keys in his hand. As soon as he climbed in, she shimmied her body into the upright position again.

“You’re seriously scared someone is going to find you?”

“Oh, shut up.”

Jake started the engine, and reversed out the parking lot. She took a deep breath, turning her head to look out her window. When they hit the road, she felt better about leaving P&E behind, but she was feeling uncomfortable over what she was about to do.

“So, what does the M stand for?”

Turning his head slightly so he could keep an eye on the road, Jake squinted at her for a couple of seconds before he made a U-turn at the next traffic light. “Malcolm.”

“Malcolm.” Holly laughed.

“Hey, it’s my pappy’s name, okay? I’m proud of it.”

“Malcolm,” Holly repeated. “What happened to the Beamer?” She was referring to his BMW from five years ago.

“He didn’t make the cut.”

“Didn’t make the cut?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t as strong as I thought it was. It got damaged beyond repair, so it had to go.”

“You were in an accident?”

He smiled. “Something like that.”

Holly smiled back, deciding not to pry too much. The five hundred questions she was dying to ask might give her nervousness away. She was quite jumpy.

“You haven’t told me yet if words like cum and clit offend you.”

Holly laughed. “I honestly still don’t know. I admit, reading your texts did turn me on more than I liked. I mean, tofu really did the job. I thought there was no way I would feel like that again.”

“You really used your vibrator?” 

“What’s so wrong with girls using a vibrator? You guys use blow up dolls, but we can’t?”

“I’ve never used a blow-up doll.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but we aren’t all Jake Peters,” she said, mockingly.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He defended. “I simply wanted to say that not a lot of women are into sex toys. Believe me.”

The words not a lot of women and believe me, grated on her. It was like he was bragging about how many women he’d had during the time she’d desperately needed him by her side.

“Well, I don’t have a problem with them. There are a lot of diseases out there, and tofu isn’t that bad once you get used to it.”

“How many sex toys do you have?”

“You make me sound as if I’m the Queen of Sex Toys, I’m not. Tofu is my only one, though there are a couple out there that I might consider using.”

“Yeah, like which one?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yeah, actually, I would. I’m into that stuff.”

“Since when?” Her voice had risen slightly, but holding her hand up, she immediately said, “Don’t answer that. I really don’t want to know.”

Jake chuckled. “I told you a lot has changed in the last five years.”

“You can say that again.”

“All amazing, Holly, I can promise you that.”

She just smiled, not saying anything in return. Her mind, however, wondered where he’d learned those things from; who’d changed his ways when it came to sex and why. She had to clench her jaw to stop herself from telling him there were some amazing things in her life as well, like his daughter. She mentally shook her head. Tonight was just about sex, nothing else.

“Where are you taking me, or are we going to have dirty sex in The Beast?” she joked.

“No, we are not going to have dirty sex in The Beast. You are not an escort.”

“That I’m not.”

“I’m taking you to one of the executive suites at one of the apartment buildings.”

“Is it far?”

“No, but it is the farthest one from the hospital.” He looked out his window for a short couple of seconds. “Why, are you getting cold feet?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I was,” she retorted.

Jake smiled. He pushed something on his steering wheel, then shifted down a gear, freeing up his right hand, which made its way onto Holly’s thigh. She looked at his hand, then back up at him. 

“What are you doing?” she asked, noticing a sheepish grin spread across his face.

“If you think I’m going to let you get cold on me again, you’d better think again, missy,” he said, rubbing his hand hard down her thigh, then trailing it over the juncture between her legs. The action made her suck in her breath, and she closed her eyes, and leaned her head back into the headrest. She felt his fingers fiddle with the button on her jeans, and as soon as it popped open, he slid the zipper down to slide his hand inside her panties. His finger found her already engorged nub, teasing it a couple of times before he slid his finger slowly down between her lips. 

Holly’s breath hitched. She slid down on the seat, her legs opening automatically to give his hand more room to maneuver. Jake gave a satisfied grunt as he slid his finger lower, dipping it in and out of her wet entrance. Holly groaned softly, wishing he was behind her whispering dirty words in her ear about what she was doing to him. She imagined some of the things he’d said in his texts when his finger moved from her entrance to her clit and back again, teasing her, and trailing a wet path over her slit, just the way he said he would. Gnawing on her bottom lip, she arched her back slightly. His touch felt like heaven.

“How far is this fucking place?”

“Believe me, I’m trying to get there as fast as I can,” Jake grunted, and Holly let out a frustrated chuckle. Her eyes remained closed as his finger moved inside of her, then gently rubbed over her more sensitive area. She was feeling flushed... and dripping wet between her legs.

Jake groaned, too, but she didn’t open her eyes.

“I love it when your pussy is so fucking wet for me.”

“Stop saying stuff like that,” she whined.

“Why?” He chuckled. “You don’t like it?”

“I told you… I don’t know, but it makes me want to do things I can’t do here without causing an accident.”

“Like what?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

“I’m not a talker, mister. Maybe you forgot what it was I could do to you?”

He chuckled. “Nope, I haven’t. I remember like it was yesterday.”