IT WAS D-DAY.

Holly helped prep Ty for surgery, not caring whether Jake was there or not. She needed to speak with Ty, and he had to listen to what she had to say before he went under. Most importantly, he had to wake up.

She took his vitals, writing them on the chart as she went. 

“Why Bee Puke?” he asked, after staring her for a long time.

His parents chuckled nervously and she saw Jake from the corner of her eye. He seemed to be enjoying this.

“Because that’s what honey is made of,” she answered, nonchalantly.

Ty laughed. “That’s why? You don’t like to be called honey?”

“Do you want to be called something that’s derived from an insect’s vomit?”

Ty laughed again. “The question is, how does Jake know about this?”

Holly grunted softly, curling her lip—hoping it sounded like it bothered her, but conveyed that it wasn’t anything of importance. However, Jake chuckled, and George and Mavis sported huge grins on their faces. 

“Breathe in, then slowly breathe out for me,” she told Ty, as she put the stethoscope to his back.

“Holly, I’m fine. Really.”

“Just breathe, Ty.” Her voice was stern.

“Ooh, feisty,” he replied in a tired voice, but not tired enough that it stopped a grin from spreading across his face. Holly had to suppress her smile. “I’m fine,” he repeated.

Holly leaned down. “You’ve got to wake up, okay?” she whispered in his ear, praying her voice didn’t break. “You can’t die.”

“Hey.” Ty took hold of Holly’s hand. The doctor-patient relationship was close to crossing the line, but Holly didn’t care. This boy was dear to her heart. “I’ll wake up, if you promise to tell me what happened between you and Dr. Peters.”

“Ty!” Mavis shrieked. “Don’t go poking your nose into other people’s business.”

“It’s the tumor, Mavis.” Jake put his two cents in, looking down at the tablet he was holding while scrolling through it. Holly rolled her eyes and Ty let out a weak laugh.

“It’s going to kill me not knowing.”

“No, it’s not. If you wake up, maybe I’ll share it with you.”

“Not good enough. I need to know now.” He was pouting like a two-year-old.

“Ugh, fine.” Holly bent down to whisper in his ear again. “It’s nothing much,” she lied. “He has a bit of an ego problem, and I couldn’t stand it, so I broke it off.”

“Whoa, seriously?” Ty said out loud.

“What did she tell you?” Jake asked.

Not giving Ty a chance to reply, she cut in. “So, you’ve got to wake up, that was the deal, right?” Winking, she left the room.

“Dude, seriously?” She heard Ty address Jake.

“I’m sure that whatever she said to you, isn’t quite the truth. There are always two sides to a story, so don’t believe everything you hear.” 

Holly remained close to hear Jake’s reply. The gall of the man! There were no two sides to their fucking story. He hadn’t wanted her. End of story.

Stepping away, she checked in with the other patients then returned to Ty’s room. Jake had left, which was a blessing. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been lucky enough to scrub in with Teresse. Even if Teresse had offered it, she doubted she would’ve taken it. Today, Ty came first.

Desire was scrubbing in with Jake. Not that she was crazy about neurology, rather, it was more of a Jake thing.

Holly made the decision to wait with Ty’s parents. They needed reassurance during the critical surgery. There was no doubt that the surgery would be a long one. They were looking at twelve hours, maximum. Hopefully, when Jake was done, Ty would be able to function as a normal teenager should.

Ty was taken to surgery at midday. Jake was already in the OR, getting everything ready. She liked that he took the time to prep the OR himself.

“Remember our deal.”

“I will.”

“You’ve got to wake up, Ty.”

“Don’t worry, Holly,” he said, winking.

“If you don’t, I will Ouija your butt back, even if it’s against my religion, you hear?”

He laughed. “I wouldn’t mind.”

She gave him a playful smack on the arm. “Not what I want to hear. I will become your worst nightmare.”

“Okay, got it.” He rolled his eyes.

Both of his parents bent over his to kiss him. A lump formed in Holly’s throat and tears glistened in her eyes as Mavis spoke to her son softly, kissing him over and over. Holly was familiar with the doubt and the hope she was sure Ty’s parents were feeling. She knew they were battling to hold onto the hope more than doubt. She knew they were battling to fight down the fear that lodged itself inside their hearts. Fear that this would be last time they heard his voice, fear that if they allowed themselves to hold onto the hope that it wouldn’t be enough. She knew the guilt was already building up inside them; any parent felt guilty once they made peace with the fact that death was waiting to take their child away. She knew it deep inside her bones, that they were fighting to believe their child would make it. They’d be devastated if their hope, their belief, their faith wasn’t strong enough. She knew they already felt ruined, even as they grasped onto their hope with tight fingers.

Yes, Holly knew exactly what Ty’s parents were going through.

George was next. Ty and his father did something weird with their hands, which could have been a secret handshake, perhaps. Ty was their only child. Holly had prayed every night for him… he had to hold on, had to make it through this.

“Let’s go, Bee Puke,” Ty called.

“Hey, watch it.”

Ty laughed.

Shaking her head, Holly and one of the male OR nurses wheeled him through the door. “I’ll see you in a bit,” Holly said over her shoulder to Ty’s parents, before continuing to wheel him in the direction of OR 2, where Jake and Teresse were waiting.

“You ready?” she asked him as they got closer.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

When they reached the theater doors, Holly said, “This is as far as I go.” Bending down, she repeated, “Just wake up, Ty. It’s all you have to do.”

“You got it, Bee Puke.” Everyone laughed, but Holly just smiled at him.

“You’re not scrubbing in today?” She heard Jake ask.

“No,” she replied, without looking at him. “Just take care of him, please.”

“Yes, Mother,” Jake teased, making Ty laugh.

Holly rolled her eyes and left.

Four years ago, she would’ve told him exactly what she would’ve done to him if she was his mother. Now, she wanted to speak to him as little as she could. Why he was even bothering to joke with her was beyond her. It just didn’t make any sense whatsoever.

Going in search of Mavis and George, she found them exactly where she thought they’d be, in the waiting area. Both had red-rimmed eyes, the worry evident on their faces. Holly wrapped her arms around Mavis, squeezing tight. “He’s in good hands.”

“Is he?” Mavis was still in doubt.

“I told you before. There is no doctor like Jake Peters when it comes to tumors,” Holly reiterated.

Mavis nodded. “But, what if…”

“Shh, what-ifs don’t exist, okay? I learned that the hard way. We just wait.” Holly hugged her again when Mavis started to cry. “And pray like you’ve never prayed before, Mavis. Believe me, it does help a lot.”

“Even if He is angry with me?”

“I’ve learned that God isn’t the one who’s angry with us, it’s the other way around. He’s waiting for you to speak to him, Mavis. Today is the perfect time to do that.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Holly.”

“You are so very welcome. Besides, Jake knows if he messes this one up, he will not live to perform another.”

That made both Mavis and George laugh halfheartedly, and Holly was glad she had managed to give them a bit of laughter amid their anxiety.

Holly’s beeper went off and she stood up reluctantly. “I’ve got to go, but I promise I’ll be back to check on you soon.”

“Thank you,” said Mavis.

Holly started running in the direction of the children’s ward. She was working with another pediatrician and found Dr. Foucher at the elevator. He had a slight European accent she couldn’t pinpoint, but he was a good doctor. They rode the elevator up to the fifth floor, the maternity ward. The patient was a woman on the verge of delivering a premature baby. Up to now, there had been no sign of preeclampsia. Unfortunately, protein was found in the womb during her routine checkup; therefore, the baby had to be delivered. Once traces of protein are found, doctors are left with no choice. Adding to this, the baby’s lungs weren’t strong enough. In most cases, preeclampsia developed without any form of a hint or sign.

Thanks to Gus, Jake’s father, the miracle drug he created worked wonders for women who were diagnosed early. These women ended up having normal pregnancies. It truly was an amazing drug, one she’d wanted to discover herself. But things happened for a reason; otherwise she would’ve never fallen in love with cardiology and now pediatrics. If she hadn’t moved to pediatrics, she would’ve never known about or met Ty—things clearly worked out for the best.

Once the obstetrician delivered the baby without any further complications, Dr. Foucher checked the baby over and immediately put the baby in the incubator. Holly couldn’t help but notice that her babies had been smaller than this little girl. The father stood right behind Holly as Dr. Foucher and one of the nurses pushed the incubator out of the room. It was critical to get the infant to the NICU—the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit—as soon as possible.

Facing the father, Holly said, “I know how you feel.” He looked to be in his late twenties, around her age. “Babies have the strength to push through.”

“Thanks. We’ve waited a long time for her,” he said.

Holly led the father to the NICU, where two babies were sleeping. The parents of the one baby boy looked at the new patient, then at her father, giving him a look filled with compassion.

Dr. Foucher ordered a breakdown list to the nurses. Holly helped with getting the teensy patient as stable as possible. She had breathing difficulties. A fat tube would be inserted into her mouth until she was able to breathe easily on her own.

Life wasn’t fair. There was nothing sadder than having to watch a baby struggle, spending every second of its short life trying to survive.

The dad started to weep. 

“You should go to your wife. We have her covered,” Holly reassured him. “This is a no-crying zone. These babies soak up emotions like a sponge, and your tears won’t help her.” 

Nodding, he looked at the nurse who’d taken him by the arm so she could lead him out of the room. He stood at the window for a while, watching them work on his daughter.

Holly’s heart broke at the sight. Her emotions ran rampant. He was doing what her babies’ father hadn’t done.

She glanced at the mother of the little boy, who was doing amazingly well.

She assisted Dr. Foucher with the girl they’d brought in, and a few minutes later, the fragile baby looked like a robot with numerous tubes protruding from her little body. Of course, her heart rate was nothing like a healthy newborn’s, but it wasn’t alarming.

“I’ll stay with her for a couple of hours. If you could take over the night shift, that would be excellent.”

“No problem,” Holly said to Dr. Foucher.

Following the doctor to where the father lingered, she listened to everything he said to the man. The familiarity was eerie;  it reminded Holly of what Frank had told her when her twins were born.

Holly asked one of the nurses to get him a cup of coffee. She’d take him to see his wife, then accompany him to the waiting room, as she needed to check up on Mavis and George. The surgery had been underway for over an hour already, but there were still no updates. Not that updates would be given so early into the surgery; anything could happen. Jake had insisted there be no updates until the surgery was at least halfway through.

That was yet another thing Holly liked about him. Damn it! He reminded her so much of the old Jake, the one she still loved but no longer existed. The one she ached for. The one she would always ache for.

Surprisingly, just over two hours later, Desire came to give them an update. So far, everything seemed to be going well, even though there was still a lot of work to be done. That scrap of information helped calm the Bensons a little.

The day dragged like no other. Holly tried to do her work as best as she could, but it was difficult with all the things on her mind. Toward late afternoon, she received a message from Rodney, asking how everything was going. Holly updated him, glad that the surgery was by now halfway through. Ty was still hanging in there—a good sign.

When nine-thirty rolled around, Holly excused herself from the waiting room where she’d gone to check up on Ty’s parents again, saying to the Bensons, “Please, could you ask someone, doctor or nurse, it doesn’t matter, to come to the NICU if there’s any further news? I’m so sorry I have to go, but there’s a tiny newborn I need to check up on. She’s fighting for her life.”

“Oh, Lord. How awful. I hope she makes it. Go, Holly, we understand. Go.”

“Thanks, Mavis. Good luck, and remember to pray.”

Both nodded. George said, “We haven’t stopped.”

Holly made her way to the fifth floor. She loved babies, but this situation was bringing up serious memories she didn’t want to think about.

The father, who’d left after only a few sips of his coffee, was back in the ward, sitting in a chair he’d placed right next to his daughter. He looked tired, like he hadn’t slept for days. When she questioned him, he confirmed her suspicions. To be at his wife’s and baby’s side, he’d had to work double time. Holly suggested he go home, but he refused, which she’d expected anyway. A nurse convinced him to go have a lie-down in one of the on-call rooms, with the promise that if anything happened, they’d call him immediately.

Holly took the seat he’d just vacated. Picking up a nursery rhyme book, she read to the little one in the softest tone she could muster. Smiling sadly to herself, she remembered when her dad read Sam I Am to both Romalia and Jamie. She continued reading until the door of the NICU swung inward. Glancing up from the book, she saw Jake standing in the doorway.

“He’s in ICU. I managed to remove about seventy percent of the tumor. The rest hopefully will decrease with radiation.”

She sputtered in shock. “What are you doing here?” 

“You asked Mavis to have someone come and give you an update.”

“I meant Desire or one of the others.” Holly smiled softly and shook her head. What the hell...

“Yeah, well, I had nothing to do, so here I am. What’s wrong with the baby?”

“She’s premature. They discovered protein in the mother’s womb at her routine checkup today. It leads to all sorts of complications. I get to babysit.”

Jake chuckled softly, then stepped closer. Not what she was hoping for at all. He bent down and placed his hand on the incubator while looking at the baby. “She’s so small.”

“Yeah, that is what a preemie looks like.”

“Ha ha, Miss Sarcasm.” Just then, the beeper in the incubator went off, frightening so his hand flew off as if it was a hot potato.

Jumping up quickly to get to the incubator, Holly almost knocked him to the ground. Luckily for her, Teresse was close by and rushed in to assist Holly. Teresse removed the breathing tube with care and instructed Holly to use the manual pump while she gently used two fingers to compress the baby’s chest. When everything was stable, Teresse reinserted the breathing tube and the baby started making funny soft complaining noises that reminded her of a goat.

“She needs TLC,” Teresse said.

“But it hasn’t been twenty-four hours.”

“She still needs it, Holly.”

“Okay, let me go wake up her dad.”

“Jake’s here. He can do it, he’s got nothing else to do while Ty is still asleep, and I’m sure he won’t mind, will you, Jake?”

Beside herself, she gave Teresse a look that said, Please don’t do this to me, I’m begging you, but Teresse was none the wiser.

“I’m not sure about that,” Holly said, her voice breaking, which she hated. She noticed Teresse looking over her shoulder at Jake, waiting for his reply, ignoring what Holly said completely.

“What do you want me to do?”

Jake just had to go and do the opposite of what Holly wanted. FUCK!

“Take your shirt off,” Teresse requested.

Jake looked nervously around, while Holly pretended to get the baby ready. “What… no dinner first?” he joked.

Unbelievable. But Holly still had to fight to keep herself from grinning.

“Jake, this is not a joke. The newborn needs skin-to-skin contact.” Teresse was adamant. Jake pulled his shirt over his head. Thank heavens she wasn’t looking, because her gasp of remembrance—and she would gasp—would probably make him gloat or something.

“Now I can understand why all the women go gaga around you.” Teresse just had to say something like that, but Holly refused to turn. She didn’t need any reminders.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Jake being pushed into the chair. He was chuckling. Thankfully, Teresse was blocking her face from his view. She could feel her face burning with anger as hot flashes rushed over her body. Here he was, quite content with doing Teresse’s bidding, when he’d left her when she’d needed him the most. Hold it together, Holly. Don’t cry. Please, tears, stay away for a while longer, she begged in her head.

Picking up the infant’s fragile body, she took extra care in making sure that all her tubes didn’t become twisted. The little one was so tiny, she fit into one of her hands. The diaper almost fell off as she moved her gently over to where Jake was sitting. In the chair. Shirtless. 

Do not cry. You can do this. She placed the baby gently into his waiting arms, which were like two tree trunks.

“Shit, she is really small,” he whispered, looking clueless as to how he should hold her.

“Just relax your arms,” Holly advised. “She won’t break.” She watched him for a short few seconds, then concentrated on the patient again, placing her in just the right position so that her entire body touched his.

“What a beautiful picture that makes,” said Teresse in awe.

Holly smiled, but the tears were close. All the beautiful picture did was remind her of a time when he hadn’t been there. A time he should’ve been there. She hated him. No, she loathed him. Loathing was stronger than hatred.

“Would you excuse me for a second? I need to check on a patient.” Tears glistened in her eyes. 

Teresse noticed; she tilted her head to one side, her expression pensive. “Sure,” she replied. 

Nodding her thanks, Holly hurried out, while Jake sat all content with a baby in his arms—a baby who wasn’t even his. Finding the nearest room she could slip into, she did so, and let the tears run freely down her face. She’d thought her anger at Jake had lessened over the years, that it had just settled into worry over what he would do if he ever found out about Jamie, but right now, the rage she’d felt for him five years ago boiled up inside her and threatened to spill over. She couldn’t believe he was in the NICU right now, cuddling a tiny premature baby—a stranger’s baby, at that—without a care in the world. She was furious at him. How did he see her again for the first time in years with such ease? She was beginning to hate this case, but only because she didn’t believe this would be the last time Jake would make an appearance. Especially not after what he was experiencing now. It was all her fault, really. She’d wanted an update. She just hadn’t wanted one from Jake. What was done was done.

When she returned to the NICU, the baby was back in her incubator, and Jake was gone.

“You okay?” Teresse’s voice came from where she was sitting.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had to get out of here.”

Teresse nodded. “You do know Jake, don’t you?”

“It was all a long time ago—a very brief encounter. We didn’t know each other that long.”

“Still, I can see that it upsets you whenever he’s around you. I’m sorry, Holly. I wished I’d picked up on it sooner. I feel like an idiot.”

“Not your fault, not your problem. I’ll be fine.”

Teresse left it there, accepting what Holly said. 

Holly left the NICU a few hours later, but when she returned two hours later, the baby’s father was there. Dr. Foucher joined them not long after, pleased that she’d pulled through the first and most critical few hours.

As for her, she wished she could get the image of Jake holding the baby out of her head.