HOLLY TOUCHED THE RED BUTTON AFTER speaking to Jake. 

“Do you think it’s wise for him to meet her so soon?”

“Mom, I don’t have all the time in the world. I’m leaving for Zürich soon, and you know how badly she’s been waiting for the right rainbow.”

“Holly, I know, but she is not some…”

“He understands that, Mom. He was sort of upset when I implied that. He wants to meet her and I don’t know what to say anymore. I just want to sort this out and move on with my life.” Her voice hitched and she blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay. Jane’s eyebrows furrowed. “It was the wrong choice, wasn’t it?”

Jane hugged her and she just started to cry again.

She always made stupid choices. She shouldn’t have agreed to let him meet Jamie so soon. But when he started to cry, and Amelia took the phone from him, she couldn’t get that out of her head. She felt sorry for him. Her damn self-sacrificing pity striking again.

“Okay, don’t cry. At least Jamie will be happy about this. I’ll call Frank. Find out what we are dealing with to get a better sense of who he is, darling.”

She wanted to tell her mother that she knew Jake wasn’t a bad guy, but she didn’t really know that. All they ever did was screw the living daylights out of each other; they barely spoke to each other. She couldn’t be sure that all of this wouldn’t blow up in her face.

So she just nodded and let her mom go.

She went to the living room where Jamie and Rod were watching a movie. A bowl filled with popcorn sat between them and they were both snuggled underneath a blanket.

Rod looked at Holly and opened the blanket next to Jamie, and Holly snuggled in next to her daughter, staring mindlessly at the screen as she cuddled Jamie. Her heart beat rapidly as she thought about everything that would happen the next day.

When the movie was done and the credits starting rolling, she pulled a sleepy Jamie into her arms and stood up, shifting her weight slightly. “Time for bed, peanut. Say night-night to Rodney.”

“Night, Roddy.”

“Night, bean.” He stood up and gave her a couple of loud, smacking kisses all over her face.

Her laughter traveled through the apartment.

It was music to Holly’s ears.

When they were settled in bed, they said a prayer but in their own special way. They listed all the things they were grateful for, and just as they finished the prayer, Jane came in and took the other spot next to Jamie’s.

This was family. This little bubble had been family for the past five years.

Jane nodded at Holly, and she knew what that meant. She was satisfied with the answer Frank gave her about Jake.

He’d really wanted his baby girls.

“There is one more thing to be thankful for,” Holly said to Jamie, battling against the fist clenching around her heart. “A very special door opened this afternoon, baby.”

Jamie gasped, her big green eyes wide. “Does it have colors?”

Holly smiled. “Plenty of colors.”

“Is Daddy back?”

“Yes. And Amelia, Armand, Robin, Grandpa Gus, they’re all back.

Jamie jumped on the bed, scooting her small legs and booty down and off it. With a giggle, she ran out of the room and yelled for Rod, screeching the news at him.

Holly closed her eyes, waiting for the lecture she knew was bound to come from him, but to her surprise, Rodney pretended to be just as excited as Jamie was.

“What did Frank say?” Holly asked.

“Do you really want to know?”

“We have time for the quick version.”

She nodded. “If Jake made up his mind about something, he will do as he says. He’ll treat her like gold, sweetheart.” 

Holly’s eyes sparkled. He’d treated her like gold too. She should’ve stayed.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“Don’t, Mom, please.”

“No, I was wrong. Every time you tried to phone him, I told you what-ifs don’t exist, not for us Scallangers. I was wrong.”

Holly’s lower lip trembled, but she bit hard on it. She’d cried enough for one day.

Jamie’s excited chatter was still ringing through the apartment, and her little stomping footsteps neared.

Holly smiled and pushed aside her anger and sadness as Jamie entered the room, eyes twinkling with elation.

“Can we go see Daddy now?”

“Sweetheart, it’s late.”

“Then when?”

“Tomorrow morning. If you are really good and go to bed now.”

She jumped in bed and snuggled down under the covers.

Holly turn down the light as Jane stepped out of the room.

She closed her eyes and hold Jamie close. She could feel her little girl’s body shutting down for the night. Her breathing became softer, her body limper and then soft snores filled her ears. She could hear Jane and Rod speaking softly. Holly knew Rod had a hard time believing she would give in so easily; she was still struggling with that as well, but now that Jake knew about Jamie, she couldn’t carry on with this charade anymore. 

Jake knew.

She was so conflicted. She had to keep reminding herself that Jake never wanted her to have an abortion, that Amelia hadn’t wanted it. All those years of feeling betrayed, of thinking they were horrible people, when really there was only one horrible person in that family.

Her what-if was real.

That was a hard pill to swallow.

**********

The next morning, Holly was woken by Jamie’s hands on her face, poking and prodding and shaking her.

Weak morning light streamed through the curtains.

Jane was already awake. She laughed at Jamie, who couldn’t contain her excitement.

Since the fake scrapbook existed, Holly had paged through it every night for Jamie to look at. Making up stories as to why she thought they were stuck in the rainbow.

She just hoped that Jake and everyone had a really great story to answer all her rainbow questions. She also hoped he’d be gentle with her little girl when he told her about Kate and Michael. She hadn’t told Jake they needed to elaborate on the story she’d told Jamie; hopefully Amelia had passed on the message to him. Amelia had been just as surprised when Holly had told her that Jamie knew about them. She couldn’t blame Amelia for being surprised at that, after all, no normal person would have told their child about a family who hadn’t wanted them, but now, knowing that they had been wanted all along, Holly was glad she’d come up with that story.

Jane got out of bed, and Jamie scurried off after her. Holly looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was five. Frank would be here in an hour. She desperately wanted more sleep. Sighing, she got up and took a shower, her mind pounding the same words. Jake knows about Jamie and he’s going to meet her today.

*******

She pulled on a summer dress that reached her ankles and let her hair dry naturally. When Jamie ran back into the room, she was wearing her Frozen outfit. It was ice blue, and Elsa was printed on the front. It went beautiful with her ice-green eyes.

Her baby girl was grinning from ear to ear, her happiness rolling off her in waves.

Holly applied a little makeup, and once she felt ready, or as ready as she would be, she went to the kitchen.

Rod was dressed in a pair of shorts and T-shirt. She looked at him, surprised. “You coming, too?”

“Yes, I need to see this, Holls.”

She went over and give him a hug. “Sorry that I’m wired different than others,” she whispered in his ears. I know that normal people don’t do this sort of thing so soon.”

“Calm down. Nothing is wrong with you. You just have a big heart. I just hope he knows how fortunate he is that you are Jamie’s mom, and not some bitch.”

She smiled. “Thanks for coming.” She frowned. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

He smiled. “He sent me a message, telling me to take some time off to make sure that you are okay.”

Her heart fluttered at that. Just to make sure that Holly was okay. “He did?”

“I know it should count for something. But I’m still struggling, Holls.”

“I know.”

“Let’s see what happens today, okay?”

She nodded.

It was only breakfast, right?  Hopefully it would all go smoothly.

She was extremely nervous about her abrupt decision. She should have waited longer, should have held off on letting him meet Jamie so suddenly. Well, there was nothing she could do about it now, the ball was already rolling.

She glanced at Jane, who didn’t seem as doubtful about this as Holly was.

A knock on the door made all of them pause, and they just stared at the door for a minute. She prayed that Jake hadn’t come along.

“Go, see who that is,” Jane told Jamie and she rushed to the door.

Holly held her breath. 

Jamie opened the door and Frank immediately grabbed her, tickling her and making growling sounds. Her laughter echoed in the apartment again.

“Good morning, Janey,” he said to her mom.

“Morning, Frank.”

He made his way over to Holly. He had a smile on his face but the look in his eyes was apologetic. He gave her a hug with his free arm and a soft kiss on her head. Frank was so empathetic; she often found herself wishing he was her father.

“Where is my daddy?” Jamie asked.

“You want to see him?”

Holly froze and Jamie nodded.

“Then we need to get going.”

Relief flooded through Holly when Jake didn’t appear in the doorway, and she blew out a breath. Her hands were shaking, and she clenched them into fists, not wanting Frank to see her nerves.

They all moved toward the door. Her mother and Rod were both carrying bags, and Holly smiled at how prepared they were. You never knew what you needed when you had a child accompanying you. If only one of those bags had something in them to prepare her, because she wasn’t so sure she was ready for what the day would bring.