THE DRIVE BACK TO BOSTON WAS A LONG one. Four days to be exact, but Rodney and Holly took turns driving, trying to cut the time down to three days. She tried to sleep but her stomach twisted into knots every time she thought about who’d she’d left behind in Boston. 

Forgetting Jake Peters was impossible. She lived with his mini-me and every time she looked at Jamie, his eyes and his face in the photo of him as a four-year-old boy stared back at her. He was in every little detail that made her daughter who she was. No one could say that Jake Peters wasn’t her father. She dreaded the day Rodney put two and two together, because the day he found out that the man he idolized was the same man who had left Jamie and Romalia four years ago… it would seriously be her last. He would never forgive her for lying to him. 

She thought back over the past four years. The first year of Jamie Bernice’s life was just a ball of worries. Not that it had gotten better, but that first year had been the hardest. Jamie used to get asthma attacks because her little lungs weren’t strong. Dr. Frank Edwards, Jamie’s pediatrician, was the absolute best. He was more like a second grandfather and had taken Gus’s place. Jane had even dated him for a year, but it was because of her mistrust in men that she had broken it off. To her mother, Frank was just too good to be true. 

Frank would often stare at Jamie from time to time, scrunching his eyebrows in thought. 

Holly worried and always wondered if Frank had known the Peters family, but she never asked him, fearing he had and the outcome would be a huge nightmare. So, she kept her doubts to herself. Not even her mother knew her thoughts regarding Frank, but Jane knew never to tell anyone the identity of Jamie’s father. It would just lead to too many damn questions. Questions she wasn’t ready to answer.

Her thoughts turned to her father again. Their relationship had improved, yet at times, all she wanted was to continue being upset with him for what he’d done to her and her twin when they were younger. But she couldn’t. He’d been there when she’d needed him the most, when no one else was. He’d taken care of her when she didn’t know if she was going to live to see another day. He’d paid for everything. He’d shown his support then. But once he found out she wanted to become a doctor, he was livid.

He had no interest in her reasons for wanting to follow that path, and he refused to listen once she tried to explain. In his mind, Holly was doing it for one thing and for one thing only: so she would one day cross paths with his granddaughter’s father again. He still had no idea of Jake’s true identity, but he’d had his suspicions when his face was plastered on the front cover of a medical magazine. Jake had received an award for removing a life-threatening tumor, using a technique he and Dr. Huyo had developed. 

Why Rodney hadn’t picked up on it yet was beyond her knowledge, probably because she’d told him that Jamie’s father was named Steve. Such a stupid lie, but Rodney always believed her, no matter what.

She’d met Rodney in medical school and they’d clicked from day one. He’d gotten drunk with Holly on all her ladies’ nights, which they always ended up spending together. He was her best friend. She missed her former best friend, Bernice, a lot. Even though Rodney was present in more ways than one, Bernice was the one she needed when life became too much—she understood motherhood, and she understood Holly. Holly couldn’t bring herself to reach out to her and hadn’t done so in four years. She couldn’t. Not if she wanted to keep her little girl safe. Although, knowing Bernie, she probably would’ve helped her keep her much-guarded secret. But it wouldn’t have been fair to ask Leo, Bernie’s husband, to do the same. Leo and Jake were just as close as Holly and Bernice, and one of them had needed to make the choice. It fell on Holly to break the tie that bound them all together.

Her thoughts jumped to her mother. When her father’s generous pockets had closed the day she decided to go to medical school, she had been doing it the hard way—studying like crazy to get good grades that could potentially lead to a scholarship. She’d gotten one in her second year, but during her first year, she’d had to borrow money and work to survive. Her mother was a huge help, a pillar for Holly to lean on.

Jane had taken on a nursing job at Seattle Memorial, and had worked her way up to becoming one of the head nurses. The pay was better and the hours fewer, which meant Holly could take on a couple of extra shifts. She’d hated every moment of it, as it was time away from her daughter.

Jamie’s first birthday was the hardest. Holly couldn’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if Romy had made it. She’d imagine everything in twos, and it’d gotten the better of her. She’d cried for a good solid night, missing her little girl something awful. Nine days after, the day that marked Romy’s death, was ten times worse. 

Holly had thought that maybe, with all the crying she’d done, the following year would be easier, but it wasn’t. Something about their birthday and the anniversary of her death made it harder to cope with.

She snapped out of her reverie when Rodney, who could no longer keep his eyes open, stopped at a gas station to refuel. While there, they got some food into their systems then hit the road again.

Holly drove until the sun came up, and then Rodney took over again. They stopped at a Motel 6 for some much-needed sleep, and then they hit the road again early the next morning for the last stretch to Boston. They were both dead tired, but Holly made a quick phone call to speak to her mother and Jamie. By the time she decided on a shower, Rod began to snore. 

A smile spread over her face when she emerged from the bathroom, towel drying her hair. Rodney’s mouth was wide open, and drool dripped from his lip. 

Shaking her head, she crawled into her own bed and switched off the lights. She was exhausted, but her mind was wide awake. She didn’t normally take medication to help her sleep, but lately it seemed to be the only way she could get some shuteye. There was always something to worry about.

A horrible ache filled her heart. Holly swallowed hard. She missed Jamie. To say she worried about her was an understatement. She constantly second-guessed herself about the choice to move to Boston for a year to complete her internship at Downsend. And although Rod kept telling her that it was the best move she could have made, Holly wasn’t so sure.

She sighed. It was funny how everything had worked out. She’d started out wanting to help women going through what she’d experienced. She’d wanted to become a gynecologist, like Jake’s father. But a year later, Gus Peters had discovered a booster that eliminated all the symptoms she had suffered from while pregnant. It was different from the shake, which was what she’d been on at the time, yet she still wondered what had been wrong with it. Why had he pulled it off the market back then?

What the booster did, however, was lower a pregnant woman’s blood pressure instantly, slowing down the process of preeclampsia. The drug was a medical miracle, since the exact causes of preeclampsia weren’t known.

It was no wonder that after that breakthrough, Holly didn’t feel needed in the gynecological department anymore. But she found a new passion—cardiology.

Both she and Rodney volunteered at a free clinic in downtown Seattle, where Dr. Somers had taken Holly on and tutored her in the art of cardiac surgery. Soon, though, age caught up with Dr. Somers. He had developed Parkinson’s disease, which was terribly sad. Holly had helped him with so many procedures that she was sure she would be able to save a heart when the time came for her to do it alone.

She loved everything about hearts—the way they worked, the reasons they stopped working, how she could fix them, and the most amazing part, how gifted she was with hearts. She could force them to start beating again when they didn’t want to beat anymore. All because of one man.

Dr. Somers was old, but one could still do a Google search. He ranked among the best cardiovascular surgeons the world had ever seen. He’d started training under the watchful eye of the legendary Dr. Chris Barnard, and he had learned everything from him. Holly was honored that he had taken her in, showing her procedures that one only learns through time.

Dr. Somers started a free clinic in Seattle when he was forced to retire due to his Parkinson’s; it was the only way he could carry on doing what he loved the most. He was in his eighties, the sweetest old man Holly had ever met. She owed a lot to Dr. Somers. Even though she hadn’t been close to surgical level when she’d trained under him, he showed her how to do an open-chest cardiac massage by hand without the help of defibrillation paddles. He’d formulated a technique that no doctor would ever attempt to perform. Essentially, if there was a huge amount of blood being lost and not enough time for a transfusion, the patient’s own blood would be pumped back into the body. Massaging the heart by hand would allow the blood to flow through it and thus keep the heart pumping. Few people knew how to do the technique, and Holly was one of the lucky ones he’d chosen to impart his wisdom to.

As she reflected on her past, sleep finally consumed her, but the horrible dream about Mara telling her to go and get an abortion surfaced. And it was always followed by Jake spitting in her face, with his sister, Amelia, standing behind him, not uttering one single word in her defense. This was when she’d wake up. The last two events never happened, but her mind kept envisioning it would’ve probably gone that way if she’d stayed. She’d imagined it over and over until it infected her dreams.

Opening one eye, she looked at the digital clock on the nightstand—it read 5:00 a.m. She was thankful she managed to get a few hours of sleep. She rubbed her face, hard, and then remembered her dream. She hadn’t had it for the longest time, but it had recently reared its ugly head once more, right after they’d learned that the only hospitals with open spots were P&E and Downsend. 

Jumping out of bed, she woke Rod. As it was imperative they get on the road as soon as possible, they grabbed a quick breakfast from McDonald’s and started the last leg of their journey. 

As Rod drove, Holly’s thoughts turned to Jake again. She was dreading every minute she was going to spend being so close to Jake and the rest of his wretched family. It went without saying that she could never trust him again—she would never trust him again. What she should’ve done was run her legs off the first time she saw him. She should’ve known that he would end up being ten times worse than Brandon. She should’ve remembered that the devil was God’s most beautiful angel. She should’ve known… then again, she wouldn’t have Jamie if she had known. Her life would’ve been empty and for that, she would always be grateful that she’d met Jake.

Smiling, she thought back to the day Bernice had teased her about what her and Jake’s kid would look like, and she’d been right. Sadly, Jamie couldn’t participate in those baby beauty competitions mothers loved, for fear that Jake would see her and know Holly hadn’t done as he’d asked. Jamie would be taken from her, of that she had no doubt. And no way in hell was she prepared to let her daughter go. She didn’t have the money to fight Jake, anyway. And come to think of it, she didn’t even think her father had enough money to fight the Peterses.

Hearing Rod say her name, she snapped to attention, not wanting him to question where her thoughts had been. Smiling, she asked, “Is this it?”

“Sure is. Home sweet home.” He grinned.

They’d arrived at an old fire station that had been renovated into an apartment complex. Rodney’s father had scored it for next to nothing, saying it was so huge he could even rent a couple of rooms out to other interns. The rent was minimal, which would allow Holly to save something to pay off some of her debts. And hopefully, she’d have a bit of extra money left to pay for ballet lessons for Jamie. Jamie loved ballet, but there was never enough cash. Holly knew if she asked her father to pay for his granddaughter to take up ballet… it would just be another thing he would throw back in her face one day.

It angered her to think that the Peterses had all the money in the world, but she was forced to tell a little girl no for most of the things she wanted. It broke her heart. But the day would come—one day Jake would find out about Jamie, and by then it would be too late. Jamie would know the truth, and Jake would finally learn that money couldn’t buy everything.

The fire station was spacious. One of the rooms had a view of the ocean. Jamie would’ve loved it here, but bringing her along was out of the question. It was too risky.

There were five bedrooms, all of them with closets. Two of the bedrooms had bathrooms. Holly took the one Rodney didn’t want. An ample kitchen was situated in the middle of the apartment. There was a big area around the kitchen that they could use as a lounge and a small dining room, or a second living room.

“So what do you think?”

“It’s perfect.” Holly smiled. “I wish Jamie was here.”

“Me, too.” Rodney wrapped his one arm around her, pulling her closer to his chest. “She would’ve had a ball twirling on these wooden floors.”

Holly giggled. Yes, she most certainly would have, as the floor was made up of soft, worn wooden planks. She sighed deeply. “Should I go and get some food?”

“I’ll come with you. We need loads of stuff,” he replied, grabbing the car keys and his wallet. “Besides, we need to stop at the printers. I want to draw up an ad for the extra rooms and pin it up at the hospital. Maybe we can make a few extra bucks renting out the other three rooms.”

“I had a funny feeling you were going to do that.”

“You don’t mind, do you?”

“Nope, it’s just going to be different having roommates again.”

“It’s only for a year, Holls.”

“You don’t have to come back with me. P&E is a good place for you, Rod.”

“Then why won’t you be there with me?”

“I told you, one can’t thrive when dealing with doctors that keep on inventing shit.”

He laughed. “You can learn a shitload from those doctors.”

“I had Dr. Somers.”

“The guy was an old fart, Holly. He did everything old-school. Technology has taken over.”

“Technology isn’t going to make you a better, more caring doctor, Rodney. He taught me that.” She smiled. “And one day when technology crashes, everyone will come to me to teach them the old ways.”

Rodney just gazed at her, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Whatever.”

Holly bumped into him playfully on the way out of the apartment, then ran down the stairs.

Tomorrow was going to be their first day at work respectively. She couldn’t wait for her internship to finally start.

Slowly opening her eyes the next morning, her digital clock practically yelled that it was five. She shot up, heart pounding. Late! How could she have overslept? Jumping out of bed, she hightailed to Rodney’s room, adrenaline pumping, and banged on his door, twice. “It’s five. Wake up!”

She heard his feet hit the floor. Running back to her room, she got in the shower, then gulped for air as cold water splashed onto her back. They still hadn’t switched on the electricity in the basement, which meant that the water heater wasn’t working; therefore it was cold water for the next couple of days until one of them could find the time to sort out the electricity.

At a quarter to six, Rodney stopped his car right in front of Downsend. Nervously, Holly blew him a kiss, then watched him leave.

She looked up at the entrance of Downsend. Day one of her internship. She sighed. One more day keeping her from Jamie, and the sad part was that there were still shitloads more to go.

Rolling her shoulders to ease the tension, she ran up the stairs two at a time. It wasn’t P&E, but it was just as big, and Downsend resembled a hospital—not a hotel.

Slowing down, she got her breathing under control and strolled through the doors that opened as she approached. She continued on toward reception. Holly had done the first eight weeks of her internship in Seattle, right before the hospital lost the status of a teaching hospital. She had needed to apply that much quicker than other interns.

A blond girl about her age, with a beautiful smile and equally beautiful hair, looked up. “Welcome to Downsend. How may I assist you?”

“I’m the new intern… from Seattle, Holly Scallanger.”

The receptionist looked down at her appointment book, then back up again. “Please, take a seat. One of the attendings will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you.”

Holly plopped down on a couch and waited for what felt like forever. She paged through several glossy magazines.

“Hi,” she heard someone say right next to her.

Smiling, Holly placed the magazines back on the coffee table. The woman was tall, blond, with really big eyes that sat too far away from one another and frizzy hair that stood on end. Her eyes made her look like an alien, and her wide jawline did nothing for her, either. Still, she was kind of pretty, in her own way. 

“I’m Dr. Smith. I’ll be your tour guide. My apologies in advance for not being able to give you the entire tour, but if you need anything, everyone here is extremely helpful.” She smiled. “Welcome to Downsend.” 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Holly. Holly Scallanger.” She held out her hand and shook Dr. Smith’s. No first name as yet.

Leading the way, Dr. Smith led them up a set of stairs while she spoke about the structure of the building—which was boring as heck and had absolutely nothing to do with becoming a doctor. “We have five hundred staff working here. Two hundred doctors, two hundred and sixty-five nurses, and the rest… well, someone has to do the dirty work others don’t want to do.”

Changing course, Dr. Smith took Holly down a hall and then down another flight of stairs that led straight through to the OR.

“This is where everyone wants to be. First years do not get a lot of scrub-in time,” she said, using finger quotes. “You will start where every single one of us started: right at the bottom. You will learn how the filing system works, how the inventory is completed, and that counting is the best way of controlling stock. Also, you’ll be admitting patients. All very boring, but everyone has to do it.”

Holly smiled and glanced at the operating table again. She’d seen many, but this was truly where she wanted to be, fixing hearts.

Making their way back up the stairs, they went through a door on the right, then back to the ground floor.

“And here is Dr. Green,” Dr. Smith said, with a slight flirt in her tone. Dr. Green was standing at the reception desk. He was tall, with dark hair, a skinny build, and dark eyes. Not a Jake, but the guy was definitely something to look at. Dr. Smith liked him, that much Holly could tell. “Meet our new intern from Seattle, Holly Scallanger.”

“Welcome to Downsend.” Dr. Green held out a hand to her. Holly shook it. “And please, call me Oliver.”

“Oliver is the head of neurology,” Dr. Smith added.

“Brains are my thing,” he joked, which had Holly thinking about Jake again. She hated that. Still, she managed to give him a small laugh.

“I hope you don’t take everything Desire says literally. You will get to scrub in a couple times; otherwise, how are you going to learn?” He smiled, showing his dimples.

Desire. Finally she had a first name for Dr. Smith. Giving Dr. Green a wide grin, they continued with the tour. They rode the elevator up to level three, where the cardiology ward was situated. It was the unit Holly wanted to work in. There, they met Dr. Embers. He was in his fifties, and had bags under his eyes. Holly didn’t know if it was from too little sleep, or the bottle. Her mother had bags under her eyes too, not as bad as his, but similar.

“Dr. Embers,” Desire spoke. “This is the intern from Seattle, Holly Sca—”

“Dr. Scallanger,” Dr. Embers interrupted. Holly could tell from Desire’s body language that that was something she absolutely hated. “You’re on the internal medicine program, wanting to become a cardiovascular surgeon.”

“That’s correct,” Holly said, reaching her hand for his to shake, which he did.

“I’ll take it from here.” He smiled, dismissing Desire. She left without giving Holly a chance to thank her properly.

Dr. Embers began to tell Holly about certain cases, to find out what she had already learned in medical school. She answered diligently. Her answers impressed him, that much she could tell. She’d always known that she knew more than other interns.

“I forgot, you are one of Dr. Somers’ students.”

Holly laughed. “I helped out at his free clinic whenever I could.”

“It’s a shame he got Parkinson’s. He loved being a doctor.”

“He still is, just not the way he wants to be.”

“Do you know how fortunate you are, to have been guided by him?”

“I do.”

“I bet that he showed you his old-fashioned techniques as well.”

Holly simply chuckled, which was her way of letting people know that they were right. They just didn’t know how much he’d shown her.

Just then, a girl appeared. She had the most awful reddish-pink hair Holly had ever seen. She could tell it was a color experiment gone horribly wrong. The girl rushed up to Dr. Embers with lab reports in her hands.

“Tanya, this is Holly. She’s here to learn how to become a cardiovascular surgeon, too, something the two of you have in common. Holly, Tanya Niagelli.”

“Niagelli?” Holly pondered over the girl’s last name. Why did it sound so familiar?

“Busted.” Tanya smiled. 

Dr. Embers smiled, too. “The Niagellis are just as famous as the Peterses.” He winked at Tanya, whose lips formed a cheeky smile.

Okay, Holly thought to herself, pretending to not have seen the wink.

“And now, they are finally merging together, creating a new kind of special breed.”

Tanya laughed.

“Merging together?” Holly asked, dumbfounded.

“Kate, my cousin, is going to marry Jake Peters. You know… merging together.” She elaborated, using her hands.

Holly knew Jake had someone in his life, but she’d never thought that he would actually marry her. Still, she smiled and pretended that she was an idiot for not understanding. But if she were honest, it had completely bowled her over.

She’d heard about Kate. She’d won the Edinger award a couple years ago. The Edinger wasn’t the Gillespie, but it was still an honor. However, she still didn’t think that they would get married. She should be happy, but a part of her struggled over the news of Jake really having moved on. It was so unfair.

She’d seen his profile picture on Facebook. She’d never opened another account after having closed it, but she’d needed to find pictures of him when Jamie began all her questioning. And what popped up was his Facebook profile picture, which happened to be of him and a blond woman. She had a beautiful face, blue eyes, and the most gorgeous lips. Holly hated that picture.

“You must be starving,” Dr. Embers said, breaking into her thoughts.

“A little bit.” She smiled.

“Tanya, could you show Holly to the cafeteria?”

“Sure,” she replied, nodding for Holly to follow her.

They walked down the hallway in silence. Rounding a corner, Tanya suddenly turned on Holly and practically seethed, “If you in any way, take what little time I have for scrubbing in, your ass is gone. You hear?” Tanya’s attack came from nowhere.

“Excuse me?”

“No need to excuse yourself, just as long as we understand one another. Scrub-in times are mine! I’ve worked my ass off these past eight weeks to get noticed, and no bimbo with fake, strawberry-blond hair is going to steal that from me. You can find the cafeteria yourself.” She turned, mumbling something about not being anybody’s guide dog.

“Okay, then.” Holly took a huge breath and continued to stare at Tanya’s retreating back.

One of the other doctors, who happened to be standing nearby, laughed. He was tall with scruffy blond hair and glasses.

“Rev Van der Beeck,” he said, walking up to Holly, chuckling again when she just looked at him, still dumbfounded. “That is Tanya, sweet as hell in front of all the doctors, but a bitch behind everyone’s back.”

Holly laughed, shaking her head. “Sorry, Holly Scallanger, from Seattle.”

“Ah, now I know why she feels so threatened. We’ve heard a couple of things from Seattle.”

Please don’t say that. 

“Come, I’ll take you to the cafeteria. She has more bark than bite. You don’t need to be scared of her.”

“I’m not,” Holly assured him, chuckling again. “I just wasn’t expecting that.” Suddenly, she remembered his last name. “Wait, you said your surname was Van der Beeck?”

“James Van der Beeck is my grandfather. The doctor, not the actor.”

She giggled. “Nice to meet you, Rev Van der Beeck with a famous grandfather.”

He laughed.

The cafeteria was located right where they’d started, at the entrance.

Rev grabbed something to eat as well, and sat with Holly at a table.

Just as she was about to take her first bite, her phone buzzed with a message.

I met him!! He freakin’ took me on a tour. 

There was a dancing yellow smiley face next to Rodney’s message. She couldn’t help but smile, but the fact that Jake was getting married sort of ruined her day. And that he’d taken Rodney, an intern, on a tour? That didn’t make any sense. She’d gotten an attending for a short while, followed by a very bad intern to take her on her tour. She supposed she was just bitter.

Awesome. Holly typed back. Have you made any friends yet? 

What! We’re supposed to make friends? I thought that only happened in first grade.

Hahahaha. Holly sent off.

What are you eating? 

Decided on a club, you?

They have awesome foot-longs. Got to go, The Brain God just walked in.

She sighed. Play nice. She put the phone face-up on the table.

Rev caught the picture of Jamie on her phone. “Good looking kid. Who is she?”

“Jamie, and she’s mine,” Holly said, placing the phone back in her pocket before he looked any closer and recognized the Peters DNA in Jamie’s sweet face.

“You have a kid?”

“Sexy, huh?”

“I don’t know, it’s kind of sexy.”

Holly laughed.

“Who is the father?” They always asked that. 

“Some ass who didn’t want her.”

“Idiot.”

“Tell me about it.”

She’d always wondered what people would say were she to tell them the truth of who Jamie’s father was. He would quickly fall of the high pedestal everyone had put him on. But that would never happen, because she would never divulge that information.

They dug into their lunches, and when they were done, Rev took her back to the reception area, where she filled in some paperwork. He waited, which was sweet of him. He was a sweet guy, but so not her type. And he was way, way too young for her. She smiled at that thought.

She filled in the paperwork while Rev and one of the nurses joked with each other. He had the entire reception area rolling in laughter when he told them about Tanya threatening Holly this morning.

“The Niagellis are all the same,” one of the nurses said. 

Holly couldn’t fully complete her forms as she hadn’t memorized the old fire station’s address yet. She’d have to get it from Rodney, then go back and fill it in. For siblings, she wrote not applicable. Jamie was on her mother’s insurance, so there was no need to switch her over, if she was lucky enough to get a plan. And if she did, it would more than likely be a crappy one.

Done with the administration bit, Rev showed her to the changing rooms, where a brand-new doctor’s coat was waiting for her. 

She’d had one during her eight weeks at Seattle, but this time it was different. It was permanent. She’d finally graduated from a student to an intern.