JAKE WAS STILL DUMBFOUNDED THAT she’d told Jamie about all of them. That alone told him Holly was exactly the person he suspected her to be since that first time he’d seen her—it was just something he knew. It made him even angrier that his mother had lied to him about everything. Mara still hadn’t called, so he’d decided to switch off his phone completely. Well… after he’d spoke to Bernie, who was understandably freaking out. She begged him not to marry Kate, saying the woman was all wrong for him and that he needed to get Holly back.

If only he could. He’d fucked up on so many things already with her. He was glad that he at least had a chance with his little girl. He wouldn’t fuck that up. He’d rather die than not be there. He’d already missed out on so much.

The good news was that everyone was coming with. During the course of the day, if they decided to stay, he could speak to Holly about certain things. He needed to find a way to make up for everything she’d endured in that hospital—and the past five years.

Frank had already left. He had wanted to tag along so badly, but he’d decided to take his godfather’s advice and be patient. He gave Frank the keys to The Beast and lectured him on driving safely. His entire life was going to be in that car. Whether Frank picked up that he wasn’t just speaking about Jamie, he didn’t know, but Jake needed him to be extra cautious.

Frank had just laughed at him before leaving.

It was somewhat of a comfort to know that Jane had been looking after his daughter the past year. He knew he should be angry with her for leaving Holly when she’d needed her most, but a small part of him now understood the grief Jane had felt at losing a child. He couldn’t even begin to think what she’d had to go through to look at the spitting image of the daughter she’d lost. But being there for Holly when he wasn’t erased all that anger. He just wanted to meet her and show her the kind of man he was; that he was nothing like Holly’s father. 

He would go through hell for his daughter, and he was going to make sure he made it up to them for not being there for the past five years. His entire family would. As angry as he was, he knew he had to bury that anger for a couple of hours today. Children were particularly sensitive to emotions, and he didn’t want his anger to be the dark cloud on what he was sure was going to be the most special day of his life. 

The opportunity to meet Jamie had come sooner than he’d expected. He didn’t want to disappoint. He only hoped the story they had spent all night formulating would live up to expectations. He was worried about that, even though he knew he shouldn’t have to be. His father and Armand were brilliant storytellers.

Everyone knew the story, even Robin. He wasn’t sure Robin completely believed that their mom was behind all of this, but he did. Holly had had the baby and her story checked out.

He jumped in the shower, brushed his teeth, and focused on the day that lay ahead. It was the only thing he could do to bury the pain. He’d lost one of his daughters, and it was all his mother’s fault. He never thought he would hate her as much as he did, and although hate was a very strong word, it was what he felt. He doubted it was going to change anytime soon.

Jake took his time getting dressed. It was a beautiful day to spend at the lake. 

Frank had messaged Jane late last night, asking her to bring extra clothes. Jake wanted them to have the option to stay if the day went well.

Moira had arrived yesterday after spending much of the day trying to get refunds for their airfare. She’d wanted to be with Jake from the moment he’d found out about Jamie, but had respected his wish to be alone.

Of course, Moira had broken the news to everyone that Holly was an intern at Downsend. Understandably, his father hadn’t been very happy about Jake having kept it a secret for this long. When he’d looked at Amelia, he could see the unspoken questions on her face, and he was sure she’d figure out that he’d been having an affair with Holly. But she hadn’t asked him, and as far as he knew, no one in his family knew about the affair.

Amelia had been blown away about the news that Holly was a doctor, but Robin had thought it was dodgy. She didn’t buy into Holly’s need to help people.

A knock sounded on the door just as he pulled his shirt over his head. His arms hurt like hell and itched as if he had fallen into a patch of poison oak. The tattoo artist had told him he wasn’t to scratch it at all. He couldn’t think of a worse torture, but it was one he deserved.

“We are going down to set up at the lake,” Amelia said.

“I’m coming.”

For the next twenty-five minutes, he kept checking his watch. It was five to seven.

Frank would be here any moment now.

The breakfast table was set.

His dad and Armand fried some bacon and eggs, he toasted some bread, and Amelia and Robin bickered as they set up the table down by the lake.

The cabin was his getaway. It was a two, maybe two-and-a- half-hour drive from Boston, in New Hampshire. Surrounded by white mountains was the only place he felt he could breathe. He could think here too, and it was the perfect place to meet his daughter for the first time.

The door swung open and Moira barged into the kitchen.

“I need something to do,” she said, clearly agitated

“You can butter some toast,” Jake offered. Moira grabbed the butter and knife. Her movements were fast and vigorous.

“Everything okay?” Gus asked.

“I dislike everything that comes out of Robin’s mouth at this moment.”

Jake squinted. “What is she saying?”

“She has no idea who Holly is,” Moira fumed.

“What did she say?”

“She’s spewing unbelievable reasons as to why Holly chose to become a doctor.”

Jake dropped the bread he was holding.

“Son,” Gus called. 

“No Dad, this has to stop. She doesn’t want to play nice? She can go home.”

He walked out through the door in the dining room.

His strides were huge as he passed the chest-high green wedges that were planted all around the yard, through a beautiful pathway filled with trees.

It used to belong to his grandfather, his namesake. And now it was his. Jake loved this place just as much as his pappy.

“I don’t care about Moira. She doesn’t know her the way we do. I don’t believe for a second that Mom is behind this,” Robin yelled.

“Then what, Robin? You think Holly did all of this on purpose? For what?” Amelia yelled back.

“I don’t know. They hardly knew each other. For all we know, she could be a cruel and sick person.”

“Who told her child that your brother, your entire family lived in a fucking rainbow!”

“Exactly my point. That is not normal.”

“Enough!” Jake finally stepped in. “You are not going to speak another bad word about Holly. She almost died carrying my children, Robin. I get that you don’t understand her actions—I don’t get them either. But I refuse to believe that she would harm any child to prove… who knows what. If you cannot play nice then you are not welcome here today. You better choose whether you want to meet your niece today or not.”

Amelia shrieked and she ran up to the house.

He glanced behind him, and caught a glimpse of Frank, a head of curly black hair bobbing over his shoulder.

His throat clammed up, and all thought about Robin’s bitchiness died away.

His feet were frozen on the spot.

Jane was right behind Frank, almost clinging to him, because of Amelia’s proximity. She was a beautiful woman. Amelia wrapped her arms around Holly’s mom, and Jake felt a flicker of surprise when Jane returned her embrace. Then again, Amelia had always managed to win people over with just a smile. Frank winked at Jake as Amelia greeted Jamie.

“She is a bit shy,” Jane said with a smile, “but she warms up quickly.”

 “Oh, sorry, this is Jake. Jake…”

“I can introduce myself, Amelia.” His voice was annoyed. Jane looked at him, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.  She held out her hand, but Jake wasn’t going to have any of that. He wrapped his big arms around her and squeezed tight. He wanted to cry again, but closed his eyes to keep the tears from spilling over. Today called for happy. He could do happy.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“Shh… let’s not have any of that. Jamie…” she whispered, nudging her head to where Jamie’s was still on Frank’s back. Jake nodded his understanding, then saw Holly and Rodney retreating to the house.

He was walking arm-in-arm with Holly.

He would give her space. It sure looked like she needed it for now.

He stepped away from Jane toward his godfather and sister, who were still hovering.

His heart bounced out of sync. The first thing he saw was raven curls. Curls like Holly used to have that hung to the middle of her back. She had light brown skin, just like his. His heart beat faster when Frank pulled her off his back and positioned her better on his arm. Her eyes were a piercing green, just like his. Aggie was right, she looked a lot like him, except he had straight long hair, not the curls upon curls.

Amelia cupped Jamie’s little face gently in her hands, blocking Jake’s view slightly. She still cooed, trying to win Jamie over. Give her some time, Melia.

Jake could tell Jamie was shy when she burrowed her head into the crook between Frank’s shoulder and neck when Amelia asked another question. The pictures hadn’t done her justice, although Jake had stared at them for hours. His little girl was gorgeous.

“I know you,” Amelia pushed again. “You know me?” Amelia asked softly, and nodding, Jamie extracted her head a little. He knew his sister couldn’t help herself, but he sometimes wished she would back the fuck off.

Jake finally moved forward, as if gravity had released the hold it had on his body when he’d just stood there admiring this little girl. 

His little girl.

“Hey, baby,” he finally said, and held out his arms. He just had to hold her. Jamie hesitated for a moment, looking first up at Frank before shooting her grandmother a questioning look. 

“It’s okay, baby. Your daddy just wants to hold you for a bit,” Jane said, nodding her head.

To his delight, Jamie went to him, fitting perfectly, as if his chest and arms had been made to hold her. Her tiny arms hesitantly wrapped around his shoulders, and Jake held on as if he’d never be able to let her go. He didn’t want to think about saying goodbye to her today. They’d simply have to stay. He’d only just said hello; he couldn’t imagine saying goodbye. He sniffed her hair, then kissed her on the head. His body started to tremble again. She smelled sweet, like marshmallows.

“Please don’t cry, Daddy.” His heart wanted to break. Sure, Michael had called him that many times, but this… it was different. Her voice was angelic, and Jake couldn’t help the tears that formed thick in his eyes.

Jamie studied him with big eyes and knitted eyebrows. 

“These are happy tears, okay?”

Jamie sighed loudly. “Okay.” It almost sounded like a whine.

Jake couldn’t help but laugh, and kissed her on the cheek. Then, he grunted. “I’ve missed you so much, do you even know how much?” He walked away with her toward the big play area he’d gotten for Michael.

“Mommy said you had to live in the rainbow, that’s why I only saw pictures of you,” Jamie said.

“I’m so sorry that Daddy wasn’t there when you and Romalia were born… that stupid rainbow.” To him, that last bit was about his fucking mom. “But I tried everything to get out of there, the minute I remembered all of you.”

“You forgot about us?” The corners of her mouth turned downward slightly, and her eyes held a sadness that mimicked the tone in her voice. He hated that.

“Only for a little while. That’s what the rainbow does. It makes you forget so it can keep you longer. But I loved you two so much that I remembered you again. I’m sorry I forgot you. I promise that no stupid rainbow is ever going to take me away from you ever again, okay?” She flung her arms around Jake’s neck again, squeezing tightly around her neck. “I’m sorry you had to lose your sister, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay. I don’t remember her anymore.”

Fear jolted through his chest. Had Holly even told her about Romalia? “What do you mean, you don’t remember her?”

“I was too little when she went to Heaven, Daddy. But I know she’s with Auntie Jamie, and Mommy said that she looked like her so it’s like Romy is with Mommy in a way.”

Jake kissed her again and held her tight. “You are so clever, you know that?”

She giggled. “Mommy says I’m just as clever as you.”

“Yeah, well, your mom is wrong.”

She giggled again, but her smile disappeared. “Where is Mommy?”

“She’s in the house, baby. She won’t leave you.”

“She’s been crying a lot, and I don’t know why.”

Jake squinted. “Maybe she doesn’t feel well?”

She shook her head. “Will she be okay?” Jamie asked with worry in her eyes.

“Mommy will be fine, okay? Daddy promises.” What had this little girl gone through yesterday?

She hugged him again as they reached the jungle gym. 

“Do you want to play?” 

She looked at the gym and gasped. “This is the biggest one I’ve ever seen. Is it mine?”

“It’s just for you,” he lied. He didn’t care, anything she wanted would be hers. Anything.

“Is this where you live?” she asked him again.

“You like it here?”

She nodded as Jake put her down. 

“Go play,” he said.

“Look, Nanna!” she yelled.

“I see! Go play!” Jane called back. Jake took Jamie to the bridge that connected both sides of the huge jungle gym. She crawled up like a little monkey and he laughed as she ran over the bridge to the other side.

Amelia rushed to his side, her gaze on Jamie—she couldn’t stop looking at her. She crawled into the tube below, forcing a grunt from her brother.

“You sure you’re not too old for this?”

“Oh, shush, it can hold my weight. I’m playing with my niece.”

Jake loved hearing that word coming from his sister’s mouth, but for some reason he struggled to feel truly happy with Jamie being here. That was because he now knew that there should have been two of them. He turned around and walked toward the huge oak tree nearby. Fuck, it hurt so much. He stopped and covered his eyes with both of his hands, trying hard not to break down again.

A gentle hand stroked his arm. He knew it was Jane, but he didn’t look at her. Instead, he uncovered his face and looked in the direction of the jungle gym. He couldn’t fathom how Holly’s mother could be so compassionate toward him when all he’d done was ruin her daughter. She reached him at the same height Holly did. He sniffed and swallowed his tears.

“I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it doesn’t. It does, however, become bearable.”

Holly’s mother knew exactly what it was he was going through. She’d had to go through it, twice. First with her own daughter, and then with her grandchild.

“Thanks for the heads-up.” He wiped his eyes.

“Nanna!” Jamie yelled. 

Jake waved.

“Nanna, look,” she cried with laughter, as Amelia caught up to her and kissed her like crazy. It made them all laugh. Moira joined them, too, and Jamie was just as excited.

“Do you still remember me?” Moira asked.

“I do,” she said through cackles as Moira tickled her.

Robin was nowhere to be found. He disliked his sister as she always turn things into a thick vibe. It wasn’t about his mom or her or even him. It was about making Jamie feel loved and wanted and missed. 

“Are you my auntie too?” Jamie asked. 

“Sort off,” Moira said. “You want me to be your auntie?”

 Jamie looked her over, taking a moment to decide whether she wanted her to play with her. “Play with us, Auntie Moira!” 

Amelia started tickling Jamie this time, and she cackled with laughter. The sound was music to Jake’s ears. There was a lot of laughter going around today, laughter that could’ve been a part of his life for the past five years, instead of the ugly hole of regret and guilt. He sat down under the tree, resting his arms on his knees, and stared at the three of them playing.

Jane sat down next to him after she pushed a pine cone out of the way. They sat there, quietly, simply staring at the jungle gym. Clearing his throat, he rested his head on his arm, glancing at Jane. “How could you let Holly tell her about us?” Jake asked.

She smiled, still looking at Jamie before meeting his gaze. “Would you have preferred I hadn’t? If so, this day wouldn’t have been possible, Jake.”

He shook his head. “She thought I didn’t want the baby… babies.”

“True, but Holly isn’t the type of person who would take out another’s mistake on someone else, especially that little person. So, instead, she told her a beautiful lie, which turned into a bigger one when your entire family found their way in there, too. I have to admit, I wasn’t happy about that at all, because I couldn’t see the bigger picture then. A part of me believed that Holly knew that you hadn’t abandoned them.”

“Then why didn’t she contact me?” His voice broke again.

“Don’t be mad at Holly for that, Jake. She wanted to… so many times.” Jane’s eyes were on Jamie again. “I stopped her. I’m sorry, it feels like I’m just as much at fault in this as your mother.”

“Don’t say that. You didn’t know. You just wanted to protect her. My mother, on the other hand, didn’t.”

Jane didn’t say anything.

“Thank you for being there when I wasn’t.”

“Jake, she’s my daughter. To be honest, I’m not all innocent in this. I didn’t have a good relationship with her, a mother should…”

“You don’t have to tell me, she told me about that. You have nothing to be sorry about. Back then, I didn’t understand how you could but now... I know how easy it is to want to drown your sorrows to just make the pain stop. It fucking hurts.” He knew. There was a hole in his chest, and he knew that that hole would never get filled. It was Romalia’s place, and although Jamie was a blessing because she’d made it, she was also a reminder of the one who hadn’t. “Were they identical?”

Jane nodded.

“They had to paint one’s toe pink and another blue, otherwise you couldn’t tell the difference.”

He closed his eyes again as small little toe nails, one blue and one pink flashed through his mind. “I should’ve been there.”

“Jake, don’t. You can’t fix the past, only the present. Hopefully the future will be brighter.”

Jake chuckled. “You make it sound so easy.”

Jane smiled. “Unfortunately, it’s not. All you can do is take every opportunity you get, Jake. That’s what I did when she needed me, and I promised never to let go ever again.”

He looked at her and she smiled again.

“Are your eyes always that blue?”

He shook his head. “Only when I’m really pissed off and really frustrated. Why?”

“So, it’s a Jake thing.”

“What is?”

“Your daughter’s eyes are exactly the same. The first time hers changed to blue, Holly got the scare of a lifetime.”

A chuckle escaped his lips, and he thought about not being there again. 

“Don’t say it. You can’t change the past.”

“You can read minds, too?”

“Not even a little bit.” Jane giggled. “But I’ve seen that same look so many times.”

He loved that little snippet of information, because it told him so much about the past four years and what it had been like for Holly. “What was it like? I mean, for you, when Holly was in the hospital?”

“You sure you’re ready for all that? It’s not a good picture, Jake.”

“Right now, I only have my imagination and I promise you it is worse than the real deal.”

“Okay,” she said, waiting a few beats before answering. “Well, at first I didn’t know. She went straight to that idiot as he had the money and I didn’t. I’m talking about Charles, her father. She gave him exactly what he wanted, a second chance with her. Then, finally, when they started to clash—because true to Charles Scallanger’s style, it’s what he always does, fucks up—Charles phoned me. She was asleep when I got to the hospital and for a split second, I thought I was on the wrong floor as no pregnant girl could look like that…”

“Like what?”

“She was so skinny, couldn’t keep anything in, threw up everything she ate. She looked sick. When I eventually saw my daughter in her, I got the biggest fright of my life. I was so scared I was going to lose her, too. The baby’s heartbeat wasn’t even close to what it was supposed to be. As I sat there, I just stared at her. You could hardly tell that she was pregnant, and the only thing I thought about was where the hell you were.”

Jake closed his eyes.

“Mommy, Roddy looked.” Jamie yelled and Jake’s eyes flew open again.

They both walked straight through the jungle gym. 

“I see,” Roddy said.

Holly laughed as she saw Moira crawling in one of the tubes.

“Come join us, Scallanger.”

“You sure it will hold?”

“It was built by a Peters. It’ll hold.”

Jane laughed as Holly and Roddy both ran into the jungle gym.

Jake smiled, watching them play. If not for his mother, that would have been his family. Holly and Jamie would have been his family

Jamie shrieked as Rodney grabbed her and growled. 

“Mommy,” she screamed and she heard how Holly pretended to hit Rodney with something over the head.

He laughed out loud this time and so did Jane.

“You can carry on.”

“I don’t want to. It’s not going to help you in any way.” Jane said softly.

“Please, what happened when you found her?”

Jane nodded. “I have to say that I hated you so much right then for what you put her through. I sat there for hours before she woke up. She saw me, smiled faintly, and then started to cry. She told me everything over the next week. To be honest, I didn’t think she was going to make it. We even tried to get your father’s formula again.”

“What? When?”

“When she was in the hospital. Dr. Rikus tried everything, but your father wasn’t available, and then some girl told him that the trial had stopped. Do you know how many women had waited for it?”

Jake nodded as his jaw muscles jumped. “My mother told my dad that his formula wasn’t working, so he stopped further testing immediately.”

Jane’s eyes got big. “She did what?”

He chuckled sadly. “My mother is the reason Romalia is dead, and you think that telling my father that his formula didn’t work is bad.”

Jane just stared at him. “Why do you think she did that?”

“Things weren’t going the way she wanted them to.” He stroked his face. “To be honest, I don’t care what her reason was. She had no right to make that decision for me and then lie about it. As a mother, her feelings should come last. She could learn a lot from Holly.”

“Now that is something we agree on.”

“I’m sure there is a lot more.”

“As long as it’s not about you and the past, because as it’s turned out… it’s all been a lie.”

“So you forgive me, just like that?”

“You are not at fault here, why can’t you see that?”

“It doesn’t change anything. I should’ve been there.”

“How, Jake? Your mother said Holly killed your babies. How on earth could you have been there when that was embedded in your mind?”

“I should never have believed her.”

Jane tsked. “My eyes might not turn blue when I get pissed off, but you are starting to piss me off. This is not your fault.”

“I’m serious.”

“I am, too. Believe me, I’ve been trying to hate you ever since I got out of that car, but nothing since the moment you saw that little girl could make me hate you, or even slightly dislike you. I see the pain all of this is causing you, everything you missed out on. It’s heartbreaking. You were done a great injustice, so why punish yourself further?”

Jake didn’t answer. He was still angry with himself. He looked at the jungle gym again and caught Holly’s eyes. She shook her head slightly but her face changed into a happy one again as Jamie caught up with her.

“Please enjoy your time today, and stop punishing yourself.”

Jake nodded. Just then Jamie popped her head out from one of the tubes close to the ground. She froze when Felix, his Great Dane he always brought approached her. The dog was supposed to be out front. Jake jumped up and swung his arm toward the dog, shouting, “Felix, move!” And the dog listened, running in the opposite direction.

“He is just a puppy, Daddy.”

That innocent response had everyone laughing, including Jake. His sister and Moira were climbing out of different tubes, apparently looking for Jamie, while Rodney and Holly were still laughing at something inside the tubes. Jake merely shook his head. “Sweetheart, he is as big as a horse. He is far from a puppy.”

Jamie rolled her eyes again. “He’s still beautiful. I don’t like it when you yell at him.”

He held his hand out to her, but he didn’t have to wait long as she started to climb out of the tube almost immediately. “Well, how do you think he is going to listen to me if I don’t yell?”

“I don’t know. Give him candy.”

Jake laughed. “I’ve got news for you… candy is not going to make him listen.” Picking Jamie up, he threw her over his shoulder, then headed for where they set up breakfast. She screamed as he tickled her small thighs. It was one of Holly’s ticklish spots, too. He could hear a soft apology between Amelia and Holly that wanted to break his heart.

An introduction between Moira and Rodney was taking place. He didn’t want to hear Amelia’s discussion with Holly. He was too close to tears. Jake swung Jamie back around until she was facing him. “You want to go to go for a boat ride later?”

Her entire face lit up. “Can we?”

“Yes, why not?”

“Can we, Mommy?” She looked past Jake.

“Can we what, sweetheart?”

“Go for a boat ride with Daddy,” she yelled back.

“Ugh,” Holly grunted and Amelia laughed, saying something Jake didn’t hear.

“Please,” Jamie wheedled.

“Of course you can,” Amelia said, which pissed Jake off again. She was just taking over, but as he looked around, Amelia and Holly were walking arm-in-arm, making jokes and laughing. It was as if they never stopped being friends. It was so easy for her.

“It’s your day, baby. Whatever you want,” Holly relented.

“Okay,” she whispered, through a beautiful smile.

Jake smiled at Jamie as he reached the table that was set for all of them. Jamie’s eyes got big when he set her down and she looked at all the settings.

She looked up at Jake. “How many people live here?”

“Not many,” Jake said, staring at her. He didn’t want to think any more about what kind of life she’d had. Holly had kept her alive and that was all that mattered.

HOLLY

An Hour Earlier

The road from a village to where most of the cabins were situated was steep. They would’ve never made it with Rod’s Toyota and she knew this was why Jake had asked Frank to pick them up.

She just hadn’t thought it would be with The Beast.

A heat crept into Holly’s cheeks as she remembered the things they’d done on the seat her mother was sitting on.

Her heart was still hammering as Jamie kept asking Frank questions about Jake and Gus and who else was going to be there.

He answered and then Jamie asked about Grandma Mara.

“That en…”

Frank interrupted her by distracting Jamie.

Rod winked at Holly and gripped her hand tightly.

When they finally got to their destination, a pair of huge black gates greeted them.

Holly took a deep breath as Jamie kept asking if this was where Daddy lived.

Frank pushed a button. The gates finally opened.

Holly knew they had money, but she hadn’t expected to see what she was seeing.

A humongous log cabin-slash-mansion stood at least thirty feet tall, if not more. It was a two-story with three chimneys.

The driveway was paved and the cabin was surrounded by tall, graceful trees.

Rodney whistled, which elicited a laugh from Frank. Jane mumbled something next to him.

“Daddy lives here?” Jamie asked which made Jane and Rodney laughed.

“It’s just so wrong, baby,” Rodney said and Jamie laughed, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world.

They all exited the car as Gus walked out with a dishcloth in his hands.

Moira was behind him. Holly felt slightly more at ease, but a twinge of fear settled in her stomach at seeing Gus.

“Is that Grandpa Gus?” Jamie asked.

“That’s him,” Holly said with a smile.

She got out of the car, taking Jamie by the hand as Rodney greeted Gus with a handshake.

“Janey,” Frank said. “This is Gustave,” he introduced.

Gus hugged Jane, which Holly was sure her mother hadn’t expected. Holly forgot what a warm person Gus was. Always smiling and joking around. He used to be one of her favorite people.

He whispered something in Jane’s ear and Jane shook her head.

He broke the hug, giving her the eye, and then saw Jamie hugging Holly’s leg.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.”

She was shy but Gus just walked up to her and crouched on his haunches.

“Hey, princess.” He smiled. “You know how much I missed you?”

“You did?” Jamie asked and he nodded.

Tears shone in his eyes but he blinked and they were gone.

He whistled. “You look just like your mom,” he said and everyone laughed. Jamie smiled.

He opened his arms but Jamie didn’t let go of Holly’s leg. “Too soon. Not to worry,” he said and touched her cheek softly. He got up from his squat and hugged Holly. “Why didn’t you call me?” he spoke softly.

Tears lingered in Holly’s eyes. She tried her damn hardest not to cry.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Holly,” he muttered. “You hear? Nothing.”

She nodded again as Frankie picked up Jamie and put her on his back. She was such a little monkey at times.

“Let’s go inside, breakfast is almost ready.”

“Where is Jake?” Frank asked.

“He’s down by the lake, waiting for you guys.” Gus smiled.

Frank rushed in with Jamie. Her mother laughed, chatting to Gus as they walked inside.

Holly found Armand in the kitchen. He hadn’t changed a bit. She was a bit apprehensive of seeing Amelia again.

Armand smiled at her as he greeted Rodney.

“Holly,” he said.

“Hey,” she whispered back and followed her mother and Uncle Frankie before more tears emerged.

The backyard was just as big. Green hedges that were almost as tall as her were planted all around the house. Frank and Jane were walking toward a passageway. Holly followed with Rodney behind her.

“You okay?” Rod asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”

“Holly, you should.”

She heard Jake’s voice. He sounded angry and she didn’t like it.

Her mother and Frank were way ahead. She hurried to close the distance.

Then a shriek—a happy one—burst through the air.

She saw Amelia rushing to Frank. It was all she saw. The girl who betrayed her was cupping her little girl’s face. Cooing to her.

Holly fought back the tears. This emotion of what they had missed for five years because she was too chickenshit to phone any of them overpowered her. Amelia hugged Jane and whispered something in her ear. Her mother shook her head but hugged Amelia back. She didn’t see Jake. On cue, Amelia spoke again.

“Oh, sorry, this is Jake. Jake…”

“I can introduce myself, Amelia,” Jake said, still sounding pissed off. Jane held out her hand, but Jake grabbed her too and hugged her. She saw his lip trembling and she just couldn’t. A tear rolled over her cheek as she turned around and rushed back to the house.

Rodney followed her and gave her a one-armed hug.

She couldn’t keep her emotions at bay anymore. 

“It’s okay, Holly,” Rod said as they were close to the house.

She wanted to go in, but Armand was inside.

“You want to leave?”

“I don’t know,” she said as tears ran down her cheeks. “Why did she do this?”

Rod grabbed her tight and held him against her. “I don’t know. I’m so sorry.”

She cried softly against his chest.

She didn’t want to cry, but she just couldn’t forgive herself for not fighting harder.

She would never forgive herself for that.