JAKE

JAKE DROVE INTO DOWNSEND’S PARKING lot. A part of him didn’t want to go to Hawaii, but he had no choice. Flashes of leaving Kate at the altar flew through his mind, but he couldn’t do that to her. He’d pondered this decision for weeks. Should he leave her and tell Holly he’d made a mistake, or not? He couldn’t.

Should he ask Holly why? He’d wanted so desperately to ask her the previous two times they’d been together, but images of breaking down in front of her as he asked why she’d done what she had, why she hadn’t stayed, why she’d run, filled his mind. She’d ruined everything. It was why he couldn’t fucking choose her. His family would never let her back into their lives, and he needed his family. They’d been through the shit with him the day she left. Especially his mom. He just couldn’t do that to her again. Locking the SUV’s doors with his remote, he ran up the stairs.

Aggie gasped when she saw him. “Baby, what are you still doing here? I thought you left last night for Hawaii.” She looked at him with her worried glare.

Jake chuckled. He knew what was going through her mind. “I was almost in my seat when P&E phoned. Mr. Collins was given the wrong medication and almost died,” he whispered. “I feel sorry for my mom and dad when they return. Mrs. Collins is not a happy woman.”

“I wouldn’t be, either.”

“Is that the patient they transferred here this morning from P&E?” Pam asked.

Jake nodded. “Could you please find out what room he’s in for me? I have to make sure he’s okay.”

“Sure, Dr. Peters.” She gave him a sweet smile, then looking down, typing vigorously on the keyboard. 

Jake glanced over at the board where the day’s surgeries were noted. For some reason, he always noticed her name first. She’d been in early that morning for a surgery with Moira. Just one more week and she’d be in Zürich. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, willing himself not to think about how empty the hospital was going to feel without her. Even if they couldn’t be together, knowing she was here, close, left him with some hope. 

Opening his eyes, he caught Aggie staring at him. He smiled, shook himself out of his sullen mood, and pretended like everything was fine. He was good at pretending that things were okay when they actually weren’t.

“Have you given it much thought lately?’ Aggie asked softly.

Jake frowned, pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about.

“He is still in the ICU, Dr. Peters,” Pam said.

“Thank you,” Jake replied, glancing at Aggie. “Do the rounds with me?”

The old nurse followed him with small but rapid strides, almost running to keep up with him.

“I’m fine, Aggie. Really. I thought about it for a long time and you were right. I’m disgusted with myself, too, believe me. But thank heavens I came to realize that Kate was the best woman for me. I’m happy, and as soon as I’m done here, I’m going to Hawaii to marry the woman of my dreams.” He gave her a smile, hoping that he’d sold his lie to the woman who’d known him since he was five years old.

The look she gave him in return was one born out of concern and fear that he was going to walk down the aisle with the wrong woman. 

“Have you spoken to her?” Aggie asked.

Jake pulled his hands through his hair and shook his head. “It’s not going to change anything, Aggs. It’s in the past. What’s done is done.” Jake chuckled. “Could I ask a favor of you, though?”

Aggie nodded.

“Please keep this conversation between us.”

She gave him a raised brow. “Don’t I always?”

“Yes, you do. Thanks, Aggie.”

They walked through the door to the ICU ward on their left. Jake squirted sanitizer onto his hands and rubbed it in before he walked into Mr. Collins’ room.

Mrs. Collins was sitting in a chair, reading a magazine. She smiled at Jake, if you could call it a smile. With what had happened late last night, it was to be expected.

Aggie picked up the chart to inspect it as Jake apologized again for the incident at P&E.

“It wasn’t your fault. Stop apologizing for something that you didn’t do,” Mrs. Collins said.

“It could’ve been worse.”

“You came and saved his life. That is all that matters.” Her smile was warmer this time, but she gave him a skeptical look. “Why haven’t you left for Hawaii yet?”

“I rescheduled the flight. I’ll be leaving with my cousin at two.”

“Good. I just don’t want Kate to feel that we are jeopardizing her wedding.”

Jake chuckled. “She understands. Thank heavens for that.”

Mrs. Collins laughed as Jake walked over to her husband to check his pupils. The sclera, the whites of the eyes, were still red, but not as red as the night before, and his pupils weren’t as dilated. He felt positive that this was going to be a good recovery. Ninety-nine percent positive. Satisfied that all was well, he gave Mrs. Collins’s hand a gentle squeeze and said goodbye. 

Aggie accompanied him back to reception. Jake caught sight of a little girl sitting at a table with her back to him, drawing. Her hair was long and curly, and it was black as night. 

Looking away, Jake changed course and moved away from reception, deciding to quickly check up on his other patients, now that he was there. He gestured to Aggie to join him again. Some days, he enjoyed her company on his rounds.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Oliver to do his job, although that wasn’t entirely correct. He didn’t trust that scaly bastard, especially not around Holly.

The first patient he checked in on was Mr. Roberts, who was eating the last of his jelly and custard. Desi, the third-year resident who worked with him on surgeries at Downsend, was already checking the man’s vitals.

Both their faces lit up when they noticed Jake in the room. Mr. Roberts reached over to place the now-empty bowl on the side cabinet as Desi filled in his chart. Aggie took his vital signs.

“Dr. Peters, getting cold feet?” Mr. Roberts joked, receiving a laugh from both Jake, Desi and Aggie.

“Not at all. Unfortunately, I had a late surgery last night and had to reschedule my flight. I’m leaving at two. How are the headaches?”

“Third day and still nothing.” As he answered Jake, a peaceful grin appeared on his face.

That was why Jake loved his job. Helping people like Mr. Roberts, who’d had years of headaches because of an aneurism in his temporal lobe, was what he lived for. It was his drug, the thing that made him keep on going. He smiled at that thought. Holly was also his drug but… He sighed. “I’m glad that you are headache free.”

Mr. Roberts smiled. 

“Are you excited for the big day?”

“I am. I can’t wait,” Jake lied. It hadn’t been an easy choice, not in the least. He wished with all his heart and soul that he could stay and join Holly in Zürich, but that wasn’t going to happen. He hadn’t chosen her, although he’d wanted to so badly. It wouldn’t have been fair.

Jake, Aggie, and Desi laughed as Mr. Roberts commented that he wasn’t sure which of the two was luckier, Jake or Kate.

“Mommy, Mommy!” The little girl’s jubilation, the same little girl who’d been sitting at reception, filled the air when she ran past Mr. Roberts’ room. Jake couldn’t help but smile.

“Someone is excited about something,” Mr. Roberts observed.

“Speaking about excitement, you should still take it easy for the next couple of days. Rest when you feel tired, and speak to Dr. Green if the headaches return.”

“If…” Aggie said, giving Jake a skeptical look. He was selling himself short, but he was only human and was bound to make some mistakes, too. “There is no if, Mr. Roberts. Jake might be young, but he is one of the best.”

“Holly, you have a daughter?” Teresse’s voice carried from out in the hallway.

Jake’s entire body jolted at those words, and dread clouded his mind. But when he saw that same shock on Aggie’s face, he knew it wasn’t a case of having heard wrong. His eyes went to the door just as Holly walked past with the same little dark-haired girl in her arms, while Teresse chatted away with the little girl… his little girl? The little girl looked like a little mini version of himself. He wanted to rush to her side to make sure, but shock stuck his feet to the floor like gravity. His head spun. He couldn’t make any sense out of this.

Aggie walked to the door and turned around. “Stay here,” she said and left, closing the door behind her.

“Desi, pull that chair closer,” Mr. Roberts ordered, and she did as he asked. Jake practically fell into it, his mind racing.

“Jake, are you okay?” Desi asked, her tone one of worry.

“Just give me a couple of seconds, please.” He stroked his face, then rested his head in both his hands. Tears welled up in his eyes—tears of anger.

“Lad, it looks like you’ve seen a ghost. Should I call for someone? I’ve been dying to try out this red button,” Mr. Roberts asked, but Jake just stared at the floor, trying his best to make sense out of what he’d just seen.

“Jake, should we get help?”

He looked up at Desi and shook his head.

“You sure?”

“Yes, just, give me a couple…” Suddenly feeling nauseated, he rushed into Mr. Roberts’ bathroom and threw up.

Desi was at his side again. “Jake, what can I do?”

“Nothing, just get out,” he grunted, then threw up again. Holly hadn’t gotten the abortion. How could she have done that to him? Anger replaced the churning in his stomach and he got up, washed his face, drank some water, and headed out, ready to confront Holly.

Just as he exited the bathroom, Aggie walked into Mr. Roberts’ room. 

“I need to talk to her, now!”

“No, Jake.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Aggie.” He was angry, but kept his tone low.

“No, baby. Not while the child is with her. Please, you don’t know where this could lead, and you don’t want to scare her,” Aggie pleaded.

Jake closed his eyes, his nostrils flared and it felt as if all the anger inside of him was going to make him explode. 

“Someone is here to pick Holly’s mother and the child up. Let her leave, and then you can yell and scream as much as you want to, okay?”

“Aggie… how sure are you?”

“She’s a Peters. It was like I was looking at you when you were that age. It was hard to keep a friendly face. But she’s definitely a Peters.” 

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

“I don’t know. Just give her a couple of minutes and then you can confront her.”

Jake nodded, defeated. The tears that had pooled in his eyes rolled down his cheeks. He wiped at them as he walked back to sit on the chair. He had a daughter he hadn’t known about. There was no excuse. Holly had had many opportunities to tell him about her. Fuck, he should’ve yelled at her. He would’ve known by now if he’d just opened his fucking mouth and asked her straight out. It wasn’t just her fault, it was his, too.

Nothing made sense to him at all, nothing. A heavy feeling weighed on his chest. He knew a part of it was anger, a lot of anger, but guilt and resentment toward himself had slipped in there, too.

Aggie walked to the door, opening it an inch, and peeked through. After a few seconds, she closed it again, then walked over to Jake.

“They’re gone. Holly’s at reception. If you want to speak to her, now is the right time,” Aggie said.

Jake nodded, pinched his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, and collected himself by taking a deep breath. He stood and walked with huge strides to the door, lingered with his hand on the handle, and took another deep breath. He needed answers, and he needed them now.

HOLLY

An hour earlier

Holly’s phone beeped when her hand was stuck inside of Mr. Brown’s chest, so there was no way she could read what that message said. But she was worried about her mother and Jamie. What if this had been a mistake? What if their plane crashed? “Vivien,” she called to one of the OR nurses. “Could you please read that message to me? If it’s dirty, though, don’t read it,” she joked, making everyone laugh.

“Please tell me you are not back with that idiot who gave you all that shit, Holly?” Moira gave her the eye.

“Nope, it was a joke.”

“It says: Holly, no Rod. We are taking a cab and coming to you, love, Mom.”

“Viv, please try and get Rod on the phone.”

Vivien scrolled through Holly’s contact list—while Holly thanked God she hadn’t saved Jake’s number—then held the phone to her ear. “It just rings, then goes to voicemail.”

“Okay, thanks.” She took a deep breath. She didn’t want her mother to come to Downsend with Jamie. Too many people would see the resemblance to Jake, and it would reach Jake soon.

“Your parents coming to visit?” Moira asked.

Shit, shit, shit. She’d forgotten about Moira. “No, just my mom and my five-year-old daughter.” The last part was said softly.

“Your what?” Moira asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Holly’s first reaction by one of the Peters. “You are a mother, Holly?”

“She stays with my mom. It’s not a big deal, Moira.”

“Still, if I’d known, I would’ve consulted with you about Zürich first. Where is her father?”

“He didn’t want her, wanted me to have an abortion and I couldn’t.”

“Fucking jerk!”

Yeah, and you praise the ground he walks on. Not so perfect anymore. “Tell me about it.”

“Do you have photos?”

“She’s going to be here soon. You’ll get to meet her face-to-face.”

“I can’t wait.”

Holly laughed.

They finished with Mr. Brown while Moira asked questions about Jamie. Holly was weary of answering them, because if it emerged that Jamie was Jake’s, Moira would tell him everything. This was the foundation of a disaster waiting to happen.

After they pulled Mr. Brown into recovery and told his family that the surgery had gone flawlessly, Holly accompanied Moira to reception, where hopefully her little girl and mother were waiting.

Her phone rang, and when she looked at the screen, she saw Rod’s name.

“Shit, sorry! I fell asleep. I’m really sorry, Holly. I’m on my way to the airport now.”

“It’s too late. They took a cab to the hospital. I’m on my way to check if they’re here yet.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in five. Sorry.” He sounded scared.

Holly laughed. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

Disconnecting the call, she put the phone back in her pocket. She couldn’t stop smiling.

“When was the last time you saw her?”

“In November. It’s not easy being away from her.”

“Aw, I’m excited to meet this little person in your life. I can just imagine how you feel.”

Holly laughed. “Words cannot describe it. She is an old soul, and believe me, I’ve missed and needed all her hugs these past few months.”

“I take my hat off to you, Holls. I don’t have kids, but I can just imagine how hard it is to do the right thing. It can’t be easy.”

“It wasn’t, but it’s going to be okay. She’ll be okay, that much I know. And it’s just a year. So it’s not that long.”

“Still… take my hat off to you,” Moira said again as the elevator pinged.

Smiling, Holly rushed to reception where, she hoped, they were waiting in the lobby. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw her beautiful raven-haired girl. Jamie looked up, and her eyes grew as soon as she saw Holly. Jumping up, she ran at the speed of light.

“Mommy, Mommy!”

Holly had tears in her eyes as she bent down and caught Jamie with wide open arms. It felt good the minute she was in them. She picked her up. Joy, ten times stronger than yesterday, filled her heart. “Shh, it’s a hospital,” she whispered.

“Okay, but I missed you,” Jamie whispered back, and Moira laughed.

“She is freakin’ gorgeous. Hello,” greeted Moira, and Jamie buried her head in Holly’s shoulder. She kissed Jamie on the head.

“She’s being shy. You should go, your flight is not going to wait for you.”

“You’re right. She’s really gorgeous, Holls.”

Moira left, waving at Jamie, who waved back. Holly walked toward her mother.

“She looks like Aunty Amelia.”

“She does?” Holly asked softly, pretending she hadn’t noticed it at all.

 “Holly, you have a daughter?” Teresse gasped. Holly flinched, as Teresse’s voice was loud. When she neared, and after studying Jamie’s face, she gave Holly a knowing look. Like she’d just discovered what the deal was between her and Jake.

“Shh,” Holly begged, trying her best to hide her tears. But Teresse continued to look at her oddly, a look that said she wanted to apologize for everything over the past few months.

“She is gorgeous,” Teresse finally said.

“Thank you. What can I say… I make stunning little kids.”

Teresse laughed, but continued to stare at Jamie. Holly was thankful when they eventually reached Jane.

She gave Holly a kiss on each cheek. “Sorry, babe, I wasn’t thinking, and I didn’t know what else to do.”

“It’s fine, Mom. Don’t worry,” she whispered. “Rod is on his way.”

“And who is this?” queried Aggie.

Shit, shit, shit. Holly didn’t want it to be Aggie.

“Say hi, sweetie.”

“Hi.” Jamie smiled and again buried her face in Holly’s shoulder. 

“Holly, she is beautiful. So, so gorgeous.” Aggie stared at Jamie. Holly knew, Aggie knew. She was seeing Jake in Jamie, without a doubt.

“Thanks.” Holly swallowed hard and looked at her mom. Jane’s eyes fell on Aggie who was still smiling at Jamie.

“You want a lollipop?” Aggie held one up, a warm, motherly smile on her face. She gave it to Jamie. Bending forward, she kissed the child on the temple, something neither Holly nor Jane expected. She went back to her desk. Holly’s gaze followed her like a hawk. If Aggie picked up a phone, she was going to strangle her, but Aggie spoke to Teresse with a smile, and whatever she’d said made Teresse laugh.

“I take it by the look on your face that that wasn’t a good thing.”

“It’s not, but it’s okay, Mom. She knows him, and I’m sure you know what else she knows.” Holly was referring to Jake being Jamie’s father.

“I got that same feeling. It explains the kiss.”

Just then, Rod joined them. Jamie yelled in joy as he took her from Holly. Giving Holly a look, he mouthed, “Sorry,” while hugging Jamie tightly.

“It’s okay,” she mouthed back, but wasn’t sure if it was.

“Look how big you got!” Rod said.

“I know, and look—” she opened her mouth to show him her teeth—“it’s gone.” She started telling Rodney the story as Holly said goodbye to Jane, then kissed Jamie on the head. 

“See you later, okay? Enjoy the beach.”

“We will. See you later.” Jamie returned the kiss. 

Holly’s eyes followed Rod as he carried her baby out to his car.

She sighed a happy sigh, and went back to reception. Aggie was gone, leaving only Teresse with that look again.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It doesn’t matter. I know a different side to him, so please don’t say anything.”

Teresse nodded, while Pam, thankfully, spoke on the phone.

She smiled again. Seeing Jamie, holding her and kissing her, took all the crappiness of Jake marrying Kate tomorrow away. It was hard seeing Rodney waltzing in to take them home. She glanced at her watch; another couple of hours and she would go home where Jamie would be waiting for her. She was worried about one thing, though… she hadn’t bargained on Aggie showing up. She’d even given Jamie a lollipop. Aggie could easily let it slip when Jake came back. Moira wouldn’t say anything, that much she trusted.

“Have you seen Aggie anywhere?” Holly asked, looking around. She didn’t know what she was going to tell her, but she had to say something.

“She was right here a second ago,” said Pam. “Do you need me to give her a call?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Was that your little girl?”

Holly had never really liked Pam much, and guessed it had something to do with her always being too friendly with Jake. It was funny, though, how kids always brought out the best in people. She nodded, and couldn’t help but smile. Sue walked in behind the reception desk, and put her bag down.

“How old is she?”

“She’ll be turning six in November.”

“She’s gorgeous.”

Holly chuckled. “Thank you. I cannot imagine my life without her.”

Holly went back to completing Mr. Brown’s chart. 

Suddenly, she heard Sue gasp. “Aren’t you supposed to be lying somewhere on a sunny beach…”

Holly looked up at Sue to find the woman’s brows furrowed, no smile on her face. She’d stopped talking. An icy cold shiver ran up Holly’s spine.

“Dr. Peters, are you okay?”

Holly’s heart stopped. Sue had to be speaking to Moira, who was probably going to confront her and ask her who the father was. Then again, Sue knew that Moira was due to leave at two, so why...

She felt Teresse’s eyes on her, and in that moment knew exactly which Peters was standing behind her. For some reason, Jake hadn’t left the night before. He was here. And he’d seen Jamie. Her heart beat like crazy. Thoughts flashed through her mind at what he must have witnessed a few minutes ago. No, no, no, no!

Neither an answer or solution came to her, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to look back to confirm if it was Jake or not. Picking up her chart, she made to flee.

“Baby,” Aggie said softly behind her, but she didn’t stop, and she didn’t reply.

Just as she took the first step, a hand grabbed her arm and spun her around forcefully, their faces inches apart. His eyes were bright blue. And it was clear he was furious that Holly had kept the baby.

She felt as if she was going to faint right there and then. This couldn’t be happening. It was a dream and she was going to wake up any minute from her buzzer and find that she was either in her bed or in one of the hospital beds. But that buzzer never came, and she knew she had to say something. 

“Shouldn’t you be in Hawaii by now?” She tried for a steady voice, but it broke all the same. She cleared her throat softly, swallowing hard.

Jake ignored her question. “Who was that?” he asked through clenched teeth, the muscles along his jawline pumping.

Pulling her arm from his grasp, she glared at him, but he grabbed her arm again. “Nobody. You should leave. You’re going to miss your flight, Jake.” She jerked her arm out of his grasp and turned away, desperately wanting to get to the sanctuary of the stairwell.

“Is she mine?” His voice was so loud that not only did it stop her in her tracks, everyone standing at reception gasped in shock. The silence that followed was eerie. She knew that everyone who’d seen Jamie knew she was his. She swallowed the lump in her throat before turning around. Why was he doing this to her? “No, she’s mine,” she said, before walking away again

She heard his footsteps behind her. He wasn’t going to leave well enough alone, and for some reason her heart fluttered as if it was a bird trapped inside a cage who desperately wanted to be free.

Jake grabbed her arm again, swinging her around. “You do not want to play with me. Answer my fucking question, or I swear…”

“What, Jake?” His words made her furious. Angrily, she pulled her arm out of his grip. It hurt, but the rage inside her prevented her from caring. “Do not threaten me, or I will make you regret the day you ever laid eyes on me!” she yelled back. “We’ve done perfectly fine without you for the past five years. And, don’t you ever grab me like that again. Forget what you saw and leave.”

“Are you insane?” he growled as she walked away, a sarcastic chuckle of disbelief lingering in his tone.

Holly huffed and shook her head. The entire hospital was watching. Nurses peeking out the rooms of the patients they were tending. Patients’ families, doctors, were watching her as if she’d did something horribly wrong to this poor, poor, man. Well, she was not going to have that. “You are kidding me, right? You Peterses are unbelievable. Don’t ever threaten me, Jake. You made your bed five years ago, now lie in it!” she screamed at him, then walked away, giving everyone looking at her a glare. Most of them scrammed. She was glad that Jake didn’t follow her this time as she quickly made her way to the stairs. She took the stairs and grabbed her phone from her pocket, and speed-dialed Rodney. It just rang.

“Damn it, Rodney,” she groaned, tears glistening in her eyes. She hadn’t been this angry in a long time. She decided right there and then that Downsend could fuck off, as she wasn’t going to work there a minute longer. She made her way to the lower level and the changing rooms, not caring about her shift, or any of the others she still had to do before leaving for Zürich. The only thing on her mind was how fast she could get a flight back to Seattle, and hope that Jake would never find them.

Thoughts of what Jake would now do were frightening, and her stomach roiled with unease. A part of her understood why he was mad, but attempting to threaten her like that wasn’t okay. 

Putting on only the leather jacket she wore to work today, the chucked the rest of her clothes into her bag. She would ask Rev to bring her scrubs back to the hospital. She made a run for it. Jake wasn’t going to turn their lives upside down. She wouldn’t allow it. He hadn’t wanted them, and the memories of that day—those nine words he’d used and the hurt he’d caused—felt like he’d just said them to her face not a few minutes ago. She wiped a tear away as a result from that memory.

Composing herself, she opened the door to find groups of residents chatting at reception. Jake, she noticed, was in his office talking on the phone, his back to her. She didn’t need to wonder who he was speaking to, because the situation screamed lawyer. If she wanted to avoid any further confrontation with him, she had to leave now. 

She ran to the entrance and escaped through the sliding doors, not bothering to take Rev’s car. A cab would do, and she was grateful when one stopped right in front of the hospital to drop off a group of people who’d probably come to visit someone. 

For once in her life, fate was on her side.

Getting in, she rattled off the address to the driver with instructions that he drive quickly. As soon as he pulled away, she let go. She couldn’t hold the tears of anger and rejection back anymore. Heaven knew she didn’t have the strength—or the money—to fight Jake on this, and she would have no choice but to ask her father once again to step in. No matter what it would end up costing her, she would do anything to prevent Jake from winning.