AFTER HER NEXT PHONE CALL TO JAMIE, Holly considered telling Jake about his daughter. His reaction could only be one of two things. He could either freak out and demand to know why she’d done the opposite of what he’d asked her to do five years ago, which in turn would upset her and she’d verbally attack him, and they would break whatever they had going on off. Or, he would take it in stride, in a calm manner. She knew he would demand to meet Jamie, which she would never allow to happen, because she wouldn’t risk uprooting her child’s whole life. But he wouldn’t leave it there. He would take her to court and she would end up hating him for trying to take her baby away from her, which meant she would end up with no Jake. 

She had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach just thinking about it. He hadn’t wanted the babies when she was pregnant, and she was sure he wouldn’t want Jamie now, but for some reason he wanted Holly.

Did he only want her because of the sex, and for the fact that she was able to make him come? It would break her if that was the only reason Jake wanted her.

Deep in thought, she realized that the bathtub was almost filled halfway. She turned the faucet off. A glass of red wine with a bath was all she needed now, and maybe she would feel differently about this plan of hers.

She went to the kitchen, took a bottle of red wine out of the cupboard and poured herself a generous glass. Bridgette and Rod had gone out. She wasn’t fazed by whenever they went off anymore, and she sometimes forgot that he was six years younger than she was. Sometimes, he seemed older. She guessed it had to do with the fact that he’d been so great with Jamie while they attended medical school.

The bath was great, the glass of wine was great, and she hated the fact that none of it took Jake from her mind.

Her phone lay on the toilet seat and it caught her eye as the screen light went on.

She picked it up, doubting it was who she wanted it to be, and then she saw his number. Her stomach convulsed with excitement as she touched the screen to open the message.

Hello, princess. What are you doing?

I’m in the bath, what are you doing?

It was quiet for a couple of seconds.

The bath, seriously… are you making that up to punish me?

She giggled and took a sip of her wine.

Not at all. Why do you think I’m punishing you? Should I be?

Oh, yes, please… Thinking about me?

Maybe…

And, what am I doing in that head of yours?

Driving me insane, as usual.

In what way?

She couldn’t believe she was about to send him a naughty message.

If you were in this bath with me, I could have reminded you of what my mouth is capable of…

Mmmmmm. Tell me more.

Just before you reach your high, I would stop and put my mouth to good use elsewhere, like that sexy stomach of yours, kissing it softly, moving all the way up to your chest, softly nibbling on one of your nipples...

She waited a couple of minutes before he replied, and she wondered if perhaps Kate had walked in on him and he’d had to make up some lame excuse about who he was texting so late at night.

Are you shitting me? You little minx!

Holly laughed

If only you were here…

Be careful what you wish for.

Always.

Always, what?

I never wish for things I don’t want.

It was quiet again, like for the rest of the night quiet. She felt a smidgen of insecurity about the last message. Had she revealed too much of her feelings for him, and had it scared him off? Or, was it just a bad time to message her back?

Then another thought popped into her head. What if he’d grabbed Kate because she’d messed with his mind with her texts? The possibility of that being the case was huge. She was his fiancée, after all, and she lived with him. She was but an arm’s reach away. Holly wasn’t.

The scene in her head made her angry, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the two of them going at it. As she got out of the tub, a nasty feeling emerged in the pit of her stomach. She was angry at the Jake in her head for toying with her, and with herself for letting him.

She tossed and turned in bed until Rod and Bridgette got home. They spoke softly in the hallway, bidding each other a good night, whilst trying to suppress their drunken laughter. She missed being their age, being that free. Not that she wanted a life without Jamie, couldn’t imagine her life without her bean. Yet she wished she could go back and do things differently. Wished she could have enjoyed her life more, gotten drunk more often, just be worry free. Maybe if she’d loved Jake more, he would’ve never left them.

The married woman from Jake’s past popped into her head again. Holly had always felt insecure about that, too. In fact, for the longest time, she’d thought that Jake had left her because of that woman. He had revealed to Leo right before Holly had hooked up with him that he had been madly in love with her. Holly had teased him about it, calling him a homewrecker. Now she was the homewrecker.

She still remembered the events of their short relationship as if it had been yesterday. He had been depressed for three months, but somehow, Holly had given him new hope that the married woman wasn’t the only one for him after all. That there were always new possibilities of being happy again by finding love with someone else. Of course, she’d believed in her heart that she was only a one-night stand, but for some reason he’d stayed the next day, and visited on another. It had evolved into something beautiful... until she got pregnant. She didn’t want to think about that time, because none of it made any sense to her, but she knew that she’d spoken to him that day, and she remembered what he’d told her to do. It was why she hadn’t brought it up yet, because they would fight and what they had going now would be over. 

If she were honest, they hadn’t really known each other that well. They’d only been together for three months when she’d gotten pregnant, so for him to change his mind about wanting children back then was probably normal.

If he’d gone back to the married woman as she’d thought, why wasn’t he with her now? Had they given their relationship another shot, but found that it didn’t work? Had she been the one to introduce him to all the sex talk and toys?

Holly would always wonder about that, because the time she’d spent with Jake, the uncertainty about that woman had always lurked in the background.  She’d never felt like Jake’s number one because of her. He’d tried to not lead her on. Well, he’d succeeded, since she’d bluntly refused to believe Mara when she’d told her that Jake had changed his mind about the pregnancy and that Holly had to get an abortion. She turned her thoughts away from what she was thinking. She didn’t have the strength for the fury she knew would bubble up inside her. 

Holly finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning. She was startled when her alarm clock woke her at five. It seemed like she’d only slept for half an hour. Her eyes felt raw, as if someone had sandpapered them. Getting out of bed, she felt her way to the bathroom as she kept her eyes shut. Patting the wall for the light switch and finding it, she turned it on, wincing from the brightness. Peeking through half-slit lids, she walked over to the sink and splashed cold water onto her face. Feeling somewhat better, she wandered to the kitchen to find Rodney and Bridgette already at the breakfast table.

“Didn’t get much beauty sleep?” Bridgette joked.

“I struggled to sleep,” Holly grumbled.

“We didn’t wake you when we got in?”

She shook her head at Rod, forcing a smile when he handed her a huge cup of coffee. “You are a life saver.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Bridge couldn’t stop babbling about the hotties they’d met at the bar last night. Holly hated that bar because it was where she’d kissed Jake. 

When Holly pulled into the parking lot, her eyes immediately darted to Jake’s parking spot—empty. A horrible ache for him nestled in the pit of her stomach. If she felt like this now, how was she going to feel if her plan to make him hers didn’t work out? She couldn’t lose hope now. He wasn’t married yet. There were still nine weeks left before he would say “I do” to Kate. Only then would Holly’s mission be thwarted.

Cindy babbled as the girls changed into their scrubs, and although most mornings Holly didn’t mind Cindy’s happy-go-lucky mood, today was not one of those days. She wanted to bash her head into a wall to make her stop talking.

Moira stood in front of the huge board in the main reception area where they posted all the surgeries for the morning. 

“See you later,” Cindy whispered, running in the opposite direction.

“Red eyes are usually not a good sign. It either means crying was involved, or not enough sleep,” Moira said.

“It’s the latter. I had a hard time falling asleep.”

“This is why I use these.” Moira took a pill bottle out of her pocket and threw it in Holly’s direction. By some miracle, she caught it. Reading the label, she saw that it was melatonin, a natural hormone that helped insomniacs sleep. “Works like a dream,” Moira added.

“Thanks.” Holly wished she could take a pill right then and go to sleep, but with how tired she was, she was sure she wouldn’t need help.

“We need to talk.” Moira suddenly changed the subject. The expression on her face was serious, and the only thing Holly could think of was that she knew about her and Jake.

“Shoot.”

“I have to admit, you are the first intern who is so advanced, Holly,” she stated.

Holly smiled.

“As you can imagine, I don’t know if I can teach you anything you don’t already know.”

“Oh, believe me, there is plenty I don’t know.”

Moira scrunched her nose at her.

“It’s not that.” Moira smiled. “I made a couple of phone calls on your behalf, and there’s an opening in Zürich.”

“Zürich, as in Switzerland?”

Moira’s excitement grew as she shared her news with Holly. “It’s every intern’s dream, Holly. I was there for a visit a couple of years ago, and it’s the hospital doctors want to go to. They have crazy technology that will teach someone like you things only a handful of cardiac surgeons know. I really don’t think Downsend is the hospital for you. You’re wasting your time here, and you aren’t learning anything new.”

“That’s not true. Just being in the OR has taught me many things I never knew.”

“Holly, you’re too talented to be here. I’m opening new doors for you. When I talked to the staff over there, I mentioned everything you’re able to do, and bam—” she slapped her hands together—“they want you to join their team.”

“Moira...”

“It’s the chance of a lifetime.”

“You should’ve consulted with me first. I can’t go to Zürich. I’ve got responsibilities here.”

“What type of responsibilities, Holly? You only have you to worry about. This is Zürich we are talking about.”

She couldn’t tell Jake’s cousin she had a five-year-old daughter.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you really should’ve consulted me first. Relocating to Europe is out of the question,” Holly stated firmly, walking away. She found herself in the nursery, surrounded by newborns. Healthy newborn babies. She helped the nurses check their stats and give them injections.

Moira shouldn’t have done what she did. Zürich. Just the idea of being able to go to Zürich… She wanted that so badly, but she couldn’t leave her child behind. But what if Jamie could go with? Then images of her working hours and hours and Jamie waiting and waiting in daycare played though her mind. Tears lurked in her eyes. It’s a foreign country with a language Jamie doesn’t know. She would be miserable. Which brought her back to answering her first question, she couldn’t take Jamie with. She knew hospitals like the one in Zürich made employees sign a five-year contract. Holly couldn’t sign anything like that. 

She’d read about what they were doing over there with an advanced imaging system that showed hearts and other organs in a three-dimensional field, where one could see what was wrong with a patient without having to go in surgically, so surgery time was cut in half. The success rate of surgeries was higher, and more lives could be saved. It was also easier for the patients to recover after shorter and simpler surgeries. She’d give anything to go to Zürich, but she couldn’t leave Jamie behind, and she couldn’t leave Jake. Not now, not when things had a chance of turning around. 

She remained in the nursery ward for a few hours. It slowed the anxious pace of her thoughts down until they were at a standstill, and finally her mind was emptied of all emotion and turmoil. 

She went to the cafeteria to grab some dinner and froze when she saw Jake sitting at a table talking to other attendings. As Moira wasn’t one of them, Holly assumed she was either in surgery, or had gone home.

Trying to not pay Jake any attention, she sat down at the nearest available table. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t help glancing in his direction every few seconds. It angered her that the only female doctor was sitting close to him, laughing loudly at something he’d said. Jealousy reared its ugly head when the woman leaned his way and stroked his arm a little too seductively for Holly’s taste.

A thought struck her. Did Jake sleep with other doctors, too? It didn’t look as if what he was doing to Kate by sleeping with Holly bothered him that much. What if she wasn’t the only one? Could the brunette with the hyena laugh be one of his side pieces as well?

Hating the feeling in her chest, she took huge bites out of her sandwich until it was finished. Not wanting to be in the cafeteria with thoughts of Jake cheating on her, she got up and left.

She kept herself busy by working in the ER with whatever was needed. An hour later, Holly found herself at the reception desk filling out a patient’s chart. As she closed the file and put it away, she glanced at her watch—eight o’clock.

“Good evening, Dr. Scallanger.” Jake’s honey voice greeted her, and the corner of her mouth curved up the slightest bit.

“Evening, Dr. Peters. To what do we owe the pleasure of having you here tonight?”

“Pie,” he said softly. “Pussy pie.”

Holly closed her eyes and flinched slightly. “You are vulgar, you know that?”

“I know someone who loves my dirty mouth.”

She shook her head, and walked away, desperately trying to put some distance between them. As she turned a corner, her phone buzzed in her pocket. A smile formed on her lips, because she knew who the message was from.

Why are you running from me, woman?

She mulled over what she would reply with. 

Perhaps it’s because I love being chased.

If you want to be caught, you’ve got to give me clues about where to find you. This place isn’t exactly small.

She looked around, then replied.

Radiology.

No way was she was going to make it easy for him. Walking faster, she took the elevator with an attending to the third floor, and hung around there a bit. Her phone beeped again.

At radiology, no Holly.

She laughed.

Radiology was boring, try elevator.

Are you in the elevator, or did you get out somewhere?

Maybe.

I’ll find you eventually.

That was his last message for a long time, and Holly thought that maybe he’d been paged to help with a patient. Her phone rang an hour later; Jake’s number. “Can I help you?” she answered in a sweet voice.

Jake gave her one of his naughty chuckles. “You know you can. This place is huge, Holly.”

She laughed. “You’ve been searching for me this entire time?”

“No, I gave myself a hand job. Of course I’m trying to find you.”

“And what are you going to do with me when you do?”

“Aggie is looking at me funny, I’ve got a feeling she knows something is up.”

Holly cut the call immediately, not bothering to answer him. A ball of nerves settled in her stomach. If Aggie knew, it was only a matter of days before everyone else found out. Holly really didn’t want to see the pain on Kate’s face when she confronted her.

Her phone buzzed again.

Are you scared of a fifty-year-old nurse?

No, I’m worried about a twenty-something-year-old fiancée.

She knew she shouldn’t have sent it, and from Jake’s lack of reply, it had been the wrong move. She went back to check on the babies and finding them sound asleep, hovered around for a while, checking on various other patients. Her phone vibrated.

Where the fuck are you? And don’t worry about the twenty-something-year-old fiancée. I’m not.

He wasn’t worried? It was these types of messages that messed with her mind. But perhaps, if he wasn’t worried about Kate, then she shouldn’t be either. Perhaps that meant he wanted more from Holly than just sex? Surely, if a man loved the woman he was about to marry, he would be worried about her discovering his affairs? Worried about jeopardizing his relationship? With that thought, Holly replied.

I still want to know what you are going to do with me, once you find me.

Let me find you and I’ll show you.

Nope, that’s not how this game works.

She found herself inside another elevator.

Oh, so this is a game now, huh?

She was smiling when the doors opened. She peeked out and looked around. No sign of Jake. It was safe to exit.

Yup.

Okay, fine. If I find you, well, let’s just say that I hope, for your sake, it’s not somewhere with other people around.

And if it is?

Then I will have to lure you away using my charm, and…

And what?

Like I said, I’m here for pie.

The image in her mind of Jake going down on her made her bite her lower lip. She took a deep breath to shake herself out of her thoughts. It was then she realized she was on the fourth floor where Aggie worked. Holly saw her, but the nurse was busy with a call, although she glanced at Holly and gave her a smile. 

You’re right. Aggie knows something.

No further texts from Jake. Holly made her way to the stairs, since she knew Jake would come to the fourth floor. She ran up the first set, past the door  to the fifth floor, and up the next flight. The door flew open, and Jake barreled in behind her. Holly sprinted up the steps two at a time, but she was nowhere near as fast as Jake. He caught her just before she passed the door to the sixth floor, pulling her down onto the steps. He moved her hair away from her neck and bit down, ravishing her skin with his tongue. He turned her around and his mouth descended onto hers, his tongue flicking out to lick her lips. Her lips parted on a sigh as the kiss intensified.

She was loving every second of the game, but this wasn’t the right place to do what he’d come here for tonight. It was as if he could read her mind; he stopped.

“Meet me in my office. Half an hour. And if you don’t show, I promise you, you’ll regret it.” He pushed himself upright, ran up the last few steps, flung the door open, and walked out as if nothing had happened.

He was good at what he was doing, and she was losing her heart all over again. Or maybe she’d just found her heart again after five years. Whatever it was, she hadn’t felt as alive or as scared as she did right then.

Getting up off the stairs, she made her way down to the fifth floor again. Glancing at her watch every five minutes made it seem like time was dragging. Finally, the time came to head to Jake’s office. 

His office was on the same floor as the main reception. Doing whatever they were going to do in his office made her uneasy, as the dreaded fiancée could easily walk in on them. But she refused to be late, knowing full well she’d regret it if she didn’t show.

She waited at the desk opposite his closed door because she’d heard voices coming from the inside a moment earlier. The door opened and out walked the brunette Holly had seen sitting with Jake in the cafeteria. Jealousy lay heavy on Holly’s chest. Maybe she should just ask him, but would he tell her the truth? Her eyes followed the doctor’s retreating back. Holly couldn’t recall who the doctor was or what she did, but finding out was going to be her new mission. Walking over to Jake’s office, she knocked twice.

“Enter.”

Holly opened the door, closing it behind her again as soon as she was in. Jake was sitting lazily behind his desk with his feet up, glancing at his wristwatch.

“You still in the mood for pie, or did the brunette give you some?”

Jake burst out laughing. A deep laugh, right from his belly, as he flung his head back. He was everything but insecure. “Are you shitting me right now? Me and whatshername?”

“You pig, you don’t even know her name,” Holly hissed, throwing herself into the chair directly in front of his desk.

“I don’t have to know her name. She’s not on the menu.”

“You sure? Because she desperately wants to be on the menu. Wait… what menu?” she asked.

Jake mocked her with his eyes by raising one eyebrow, then biting down hard on his lower lip, which made Holly’s stomach flip.

“The Holly à la carte menu.”

It was her turn to laugh. She had forgotten how naturally her laughter came when she was with him. 

He stood and walked to his door, locking it. She flinched. Why hadn’t she done that? It was these kinds of mistakes that would get them caught. He was good at this. The thought of him having done it before jolted through her mind.

The chair she was sitting on suddenly spun around—she found herself facing Jake, who slowly leaned forward. His face was inches from hers, his eyes glaring at her sexily. Then his lips gently brushed over hers. Her heart rate rose as she breathed in his essence, and her eyes closed as his mouth pressed harder, then turned into a sweet, soft kiss.

It didn’t stay sweet for very long. Her hand traveled up his chest to the side of his face, then slid down to cup his chin. She moved up in the chair, allowing the kiss to grow into something more seductive.

Jake shifted, positioning himself over her, a leg on either side of her hips, then he sat on her lap, pinning her down. His thighs resembled tree trunks, they were that muscled. She felt the bulge that had grown from their little game of hide-and-seek earlier pressing against her belly.

“See? Still in the mood for that pie,” he purred.

“Oh, I can feel it,” she panted, taking things further by running her hand over his bulge.

Jake groaned, claiming her mouth once again, his hand working up over her shoulder to grab her ponytail until goosebumps erupted all over her skin.

Their breathing was erratic, both desperate for more. Holly’s hands stroked his thighs, then moved to his butt, kneading, pulling him closer. Breaking their kiss, Jake sat back and removed his shirt, something he normally didn’t do. Holly decided that if she were to die right now, this would be the way to go. Groaning, she leaned forward and kissed his chest, running her tongue over his nipple, then gently nibbled on it.

Jake grabbed the back of her head, pushing her face into his chest. She struggled to breathe and forced her head to his neck, kissing and sucking the soft flesh there. Soft groans left his lips, and when the hairs on his skin stood on end, she grinned. Lifting her head, she whispered in his ear, “You like that?”

Jake growled deep in his throat, answering her question.

When she couldn’t feel her legs, she shifted her weight a little. 

Jake looked at her.

“I hate to break this up, but I think the blood to my legs has been totally cut off, and I’d hate to lose them as a result.”

He smiled. “Yes, that would be a pity. I would definitely miss those legs.” 

Holly giggled as he got off her. The minute he was upright, he reached for her hand and pulled her from the chair. She hit his body with a thud, his hand already cupping her chin, lifting her face up to his. Their lips locked, hard, and the kiss morphed into a battle. Her ears zinged, and her breathing became shallow as her lungs fought for air. Next thing she knew, she was pinned to his desk, the edge digging into her butt. Jake lifted her up and placed her on his desk with a soft thud. Without breaking the kiss, he worked both her pants and panties off.

So far gone was she, the last thing she worried about was her scar. If it came out that she’d given birth, so be it. She wanted him inside of her, even if it was just his tongue. Whatever he wanted to do, she was game. 

Grunting, Jake made quick work of removing his pants by yanking them off forcefully. With one swift move, he pulled her forward by her thighs, the action so quick, she fell backward onto the desk. When Jake slid into her, she echoed his moans. Fisting his hand in her shirt, with the other at her hip, he used his hold to move her forward as he pumped into her. Holly bit hard on her hand to keep from screaming out.

A pager went off. With a growl, Jake stopped. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said, pulling her up into a sitting position without pulling out. Both burst out laughing.

“Duty calls,” she said, sighing.

“Fuck duty,” he returned, moving slowly inside of her.

“Jake, seriously. Someone out there needs us.”

“I need you.”

Holly giggled. She kissed him quickly, tapped him on the ass for him to pull out, and slid off the desk the second he pulled out of her. She kissed his chest one more time and bent to reach for her panties, when Jake snatched them up first.

Pulling his pants on, he shoved her panties in his pocket.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously… I need something of yours.”

“You sound like a pervert, Jake. My panties?”

“I am a pervert when it comes to you. Here.” He handed her scrub pants. “Put them on and let’s go.”

She looked at the scrubs and smiled. “No panties? Hmm.”

Jake moaned, animatedly. “You are killing me!”

Giggling, she donned her scrubs, and Jake his shirt. Fixing her hair, she quickly pulled it into a neat ponytail once again, before Jake opened the door and both rushed off to the ER.