CHAPTER 28

Michael

Tuesday morning found me in back-to-back meetings. After losing the Richardson account, I couldn’t afford to slack on business any longer. Plus, after Julie finally called me, the weight was lifted off my chest. I could breathe again. My brain felt less foggy. I could focus without thoughts of Julie invading my mind. Just knowing I would see her later that night was enough to keep me going throughout most of the day.

“I’m glad we sat down,” Frank said when our meeting ended. “Good to see you, Michael.”

“You too,” I said. “Call me if you need anything else, all right?”

“Will do.”

Frank left my office with a smile on his face. He was my first meeting of the day and, soon, more clients were filing inside. I had Marcy hold all my calls and filter my emails to her account. For right now, there was nothing more important than taking care of my clients in person. I wanted to be perfectly free when I saw Julie later, and I knew I wouldn’t be if I was still worried about my business.

My meeting dragged on slowly, but I felt confident that everything was going well. By the end of the day, I was flying on cloud nine. My remaining clients were all satisfied. Some even put in extra orders, and a few praised me for my holiday party.

“My wife had a blast,” Aaron said. “She was completely taken with that girlfriend of yours.”

“Oh,” I said with a laugh. “Julie?”

“Yes!” Aaron said. “She seemed great.”

“She really is.” I grinned.

We said goodbye and I walked him outside. Aaron was my last meeting of the day. It was almost five o’clock, but I didn’t feel the slightest bit tired. My entire body was alive with energy. I knew I would see Julie soon, and I couldn’t wait.

I grabbed my phone off my desk and waved a quick goodbye to Marcy. Julie’s gift was sitting on the passenger seat in my car, ready and waiting to be opened by her. I brought it with me so I wouldn’t have to go home before I picked her up for our date.

When I climbed behind the wheel of my car, I grinned at the box and quickly stuck my keys in the ignition. As I did so, I turned my phone back on. I’d had it off most of the day so I wouldn’t be distracted during my meetings. It powered up slowly, and I threw my car into reverse.

I pulled out of the parking lot and drove through town. Julie was waiting for me, and that fact kept a wide smile on my face while I drove. Nothing could have darkened my mood. After Julie called me on Christmas, it was like my entire life suddenly changed course. The world righted itself and, suddenly, everything was falling back into place.

I was almost to Julie’s house when my phone began to vibrate violently in my lap. Frowning, I looked down to see that I had four missed calls and six text messages. My stomach tightened as I pressed the button to hear my messages.

“Mr. Smart,” an unfamiliar voice said. “This is Dr. Harrison. I’m calling to inform you that your brother has been admitted to…”

The rest of the message fell on my ears painfully. The road turned into a blur in front of me. I pulled over to listen to the rest of the message.

Josh was in some sort of accident. He was admitted to a hospital in Dallas, and they were rushing him into emergency surgery. The other three messages were from nurses, informing me of his condition and reminding me which hospital he was in.

Without thinking, I threw my phone down and sped out of town. I was on the freeway in minutes, speeding toward Dallas. I couldn’t think about anything other than Josh. I imagined him lying in a hospital bed, alone and bleeding. I wondered how bad the accident was, how severe his injuries were, and how I could have been so stupid as to leave my phone off all day.

Julie crossed my mind as I pulled into the hospital parking lot. I thought about calling her or at least texting her to let her know I wouldn’t make it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had tunnel vision as I tore through the hallways trying to find my brother’s room.

For days now, I’d been so angry with him. I could barely think his name without wanting to feel his jaw against my knuckles. I’d hated him so much that it made me physically sick, but now? He could die, and I was mad at him. The last time we spoke, we yelled at each other. I kicked him out of my house on Christmas Eve. He could die, and that would be my last memory of him.

I stopped at the closest nurses’ station and demanded directions to his room. The nurse looked up his information and then directed me down the hall. There, I found another nurses’ station, but no one was there. I scanned the hallway, desperate to find someone who could tell me what was going on.

Finally, a nurse appeared down the hall. I ran toward her, talking a mile a minute.

“Calm down, sir,” the nurse said. “Just tell me your brother’s name, okay? I’ll get you all the information I have.”

I gave Josh’s name and waited while the nurse typed something into her computer. She scanned the screen and then looked back at me with a patient smile.

“He’s still in surgery,” she said. “But it looks like he’s stable. If anything changes, I’ll let you know immediately.”

“Is there somewhere I can wait?” I asked.

The nurse pointed down the hall to a waiting room. I nodded my thanks and slowly walked forward. As I did, I pulled out my phone to dial Julie’s number. Now that I was at the hospital, I could slow down long enough to call her. I didn’t want her to think I’d stood her up for no reason.

“Michael?” a woman’s voice said behind me.

I didn’t recognize the voice, but when I turned around, my heart fell into my stomach, and my throat tightened painfully. I swallowed hard and blinked, sure that I was seeing things.

“Michael?” she asked again. “Is that you?”

I froze. I would have recognized those eyes anywhere. After all, they were the same eyes I saw staring back at me every time I looked in a mirror. They were the same eyes that Josh and I shared. Dark blue. Round. And full of emotion.

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “I’m Michael.”

“Oh my god.”

She took a step forward but stopped herself. I didn’t know what to say or what to think. I rushed to the hospital without thinking about the possibility that she might be there. Of course she was there. She was Josh’s mother. My biological mom. The woman who gave me up for adoption when I was just an hour old.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t really know what to say.”

“Let’s sit down,” she said. Her voice was weak.

She gestured toward a couple of chairs beside us. I followed her over and sat down, my hands shaking as I laid them on my knees.

“I’m Sheila,” she said with an uncertain smile. “I don’t know if you know who I am, but—”

“You’re my mother,” I said boldly.

Sheila blinked and swallowed. Pain crossed over her face, but she pushed it away and smiled instead. She nodded and just stared at me until I was ready to speak again.

“Josh told me a lot about you,” I said lamely.

“He’s told me a lot about you, too,” Sheila said. “It’s meant a lot to him that you two could finally meet.”

“Yeah,” I said. Talking about Josh made me think of Julie. I looked down at my phone, which was still clutched in my trembling hands. I tucked it away in my pocket. There was no way I could make a phone call now.

“Listen,” Sheila said. “I want you to know that I understand why you didn’t want to meet me.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything. I spent the past two years getting to know my brother. We talked. Slowly, we became brothers. Despite what happened with Julie, Josh was still my brother and I loved him, no matter what. Sheila was something different.

I had no memories of her. The first time Josh asked if I wanted to meet her, I said no without thinking. Josh never brought it up again. He just let it go, assuming that I would ask if I ever wanted the chance to see her. Deep down, I was always curious. I wondered about the woman who gave me away. I wondered who she was, what she was like, and if she ever regretted her decision.

Now that we were sitting there beside each other, I didn’t know what to say.

“I have a million questions,” I finally said. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“You can ask me anything,” Sheila said. “Anything you want.”

“Why did you give me away?” I asked.

The question flew from my lips before I could stop myself. Sheila inhaled sharply, and her eyes darkened with emotion. She looked more like Josh than ever.

“It’s a long story,” Sheila said.

“We have time.” I looked around the waiting room, silently showing her that we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“I already had Joshua,” Sheila said. “And when you came along, I was in the hole. Drugs. Alcohol. Everything.”

“Josh told me you’re sober now,” I said.

“I am.” Sheila smiled. “I have been for over twenty years.”

“That’s great,” I said.

“But back then,” Sheila continued. “I couldn’t take care of another child. I was already terrified that the state would take Joshua away. The idea of losing you both, it was too much to bear. I knew I had to do what was best for you.”

“And you did,” I said. “My parents are amazing.”

“I know.” Sheila smiled again. “I’ve kept up with all three of you over the years. Your mother was kind enough to send me your school pictures.”

“She did?” I asked.

Sheila nodded. “Your mom’s a very kind person.”

I nodded and looked down at my hands. This whole night felt like a dream. Josh was in surgery. I didn’t know if he would make it or not. My biological mother was sitting in the waiting room, talking about how amazing my adopted mom was.

“This is crazy,” I said under my breath.

“I’m sorry,” Sheila said. “This isn’t how I wanted to meet you for the first time.”

“Me neither,” I said. “I wish the nurses would tell us something about Josh.”

“They will soon,” Sheila said with confidence.

When I looked over at her, I saw fear etched into the lines on her face. Her lips were pressed tightly together, and her eyes were wide. She wrung her hands together slowly. For the first time since I saw her, I realized how horrible this must be for her.

Her son was in surgery, and all she could do was wait for news. My heart ached as I watched her. Finally, I reached over and took her hand. I squeezed it gently.

“He’s going to be okay,” I said firmly. “Josh is strong. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Thank you.” Sheila blinked back tears and clutched my hand.

We sat like that for what felt like hours. I tried not to watch the clock, but it felt like time was moving slower than ever before. When the doctor finally appeared, Sheila and I both jumped to our feet and hurried forward.