Chapter Twelve
Josie
Gavin reached out and stroked my cheek with one of his big, strong hands. And despite doing my best to resist, I found myself leaning into his touch. I found comfort in his touch, a sense of belonging even. No man had ever made me feel the way he did. He made me feel safe. Protected. He made me feel wanted and even adored. When I was with Gavin, I felt appreciated.
Maybe it was because he was my first, and I was attaching all kinds of emotions to him that didn't actually exist anywhere but in my mind, but I didn't think so. I believed, deep down in my heart, that what I was feeling was true and it was real.
Getting to know the father of my child was nice, but part of wanted more than that. I didn't just want him to care for us financially—I wanted us to be a family. I wanted everything that came with that. I knew was probably naïve to even consider that. Especially now that I knew his secret. Knowing that he was wealthy and lived a nomadic lifestyle, not to mention all the women he undoubtedly had flitting in and out of his life, I seriously doubted that he wanted to be bogged down with a girl like me.
Even if he did want to care for his child, like he said he did, I assumed it was merely I guess, I had to be okay with that. At least providing for his child was something. Stepping up and taking responsibility for his child like that was a hell of a lot better than a lot of men did these days.
Gavin lifted my face and stared into my eyes. “I've been looking for someone like you, Josie,” he said softly. “I've been looking for a very long time.”
“Someone like me?” I said, cocking my head to the side, genuinely not understanding what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”
“A sub,” he said, and seeing that I was still confused, he continued, “I come across many women leading the particular lifestyle I led. But most of them are only after one thing. Outside the bedroom they're not sweet, kind, and gentle. Not like you are.”
“You only want me because I’m submissive and do what you want me to do?”
I was slightly taken aback by the comment. The idea that I would be controlled, both inside and outside the bedroom, and that was the only reason he wanted me, was something I found a little galling. A little repellent. At the same time, though, the idea of giving myself over to him in the bedroom was such a turn on that I felt myself growing wet just thinking about it. Honestly, there was a part of me that would love to see where Gavin could take me sexually if I gave myself completely over to him.
“No, not at all,” he said, a cocky grin on his lips. “But I have to admit, I do find that part of you incredibly sexy.”
He ran a finger down my face, trailing it all the way down to my cleavage as he licked his lips. When he looked at me, I could see the flames of desire and passion burning in his eyes and I so badly wanted his mouth pressed to mine. Wanted to feel his hands on me. Wanted so much more, but I waited for him to act.
“What do you say, Josie?” he said, his voice low and husky, “Would you like to spend the next week with me, here in my suite, and see where things take us?”
I nodded before I even had a moment to think about it. I knew if I stopped to think, I'd have a million reasons to say no. But, my body was reacting before my brain could fully comprehend what I was getting myself into. An entire week with Gavin—the father of my child—in his suite, doing all kinds of crazy and delicious things?
My body screamed for it. But my mind whispered to me, asking me what happens if things go badly? What if we couldn't stand each other? What if he decided I wasn't worth his time or effort, and that I wasn't the woman he thought I was? Wasn't actually the woman he'd been looking for?
All those fears used to push me to run away from intimacy. They drove me to escape before I even had a chance to prove them right or wrong. This time, though, I had another reason not to run—and not just because of the fire burning in my belly. I had a child to think about too. A child who could really use having both of his or her parents in their life. At the very least, it was worth trying to see if we could make something work. For our child's sake. I owed our baby at least that much.
Deep down inside me, though, my reasons for wanting to try were less pure. My body yearned for him. Ached for him. Desired him in ways that scared me. And yet it filled me with happiness.
Gavin kissed me, pressing his hot, soft lips to mine. I kissed him back, my hands finding their way to his hair. Months had gone by, and I'd wanted to feel this again—to feel his hands on me, to touch him with my own. For so long, I'd yearned to stroke him, to even just see him. And now there we were, together again.
Gavin grabbed my hands, pulling them from his hair roughly, and yanked me up from the sofa. His eyes were burning with need, as were my insides. As he looked at me with his dark, smoldering eyes, I quivered at the thought of what he was going to do with me.
“Bend over the couch,” he demanded. “Now.”
I did as he commanded, leaning forward and putting my ass in the air for him. It's exactly what Gavin seemed to want from me and as I looked back over my shoulder at him, I saw the desire and hunger on his face plain as day. He'd been wanting this every bit as much as I did.
He lifted up my dress, exposing my ass, and ran his hands over my soft flesh.
“Have you ever been spanked, Josie?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Because you've always been a good girl, have you?” he said.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Always.”
“Except when you didn't tell me about our child, that is,” he said. “That's being a very, very bad girl.”
“I'm sorry,” I whimpered. “So very sorry, Gavin. I was afraid.”
“Sh,” he whispered. “It's okay. I forgive you, Josie.”
My body relaxed knowing he wasn't mad at me. Still, his hand grabbed at my ass, squeezing it, his fingers pressing into my skin.
“Still, do you think you should be punished for not telling me?” he asked. “You were a very bad girl for doing that, after all.”
Deep down, I believed I should. What I did was wrong, and he had every right to punish me. Not only that, I wanted him to punish me. Wanted him to spank me. Wanted to feel the burn of his hand across the flesh of my tender little ass.
“Yes, Gavin,” I said. “I was very bad. I should be spanked.”
Gavin smiled and tapped my ass with the flat of his hand—just a small little smack. I hardly felt it at all.
“Harder,” I whimpered.
A low growl escaped his throat as Gavin drew back his hand a bit more, smacking it just a little harder this time. It still didn't hurt, not in the least, but I knew he was getting there. He was working me up to it.
“Harder, Gavin. I was such a bad girl,” I said, giving him a sultry little smile.
When he drew his hand back and slapped my flesh again, the sting was instant, and I yelped a little. The sting on my ass cheeks burned right through me, but my insides were on fire and yearning for more. Gavin brought his hand down again, smacking me hard and fast. I let out a cry, and begged him for more.
“Yes, baby,” I moaned. “Harder.”
“Playtime is over,” he said. “You've had your fun. Now it's my turn.”
The delicious sting still resonated across my skin, and I wanted Gavin to spank me a little more. He had other plans for me, though. He massaged my ass, and I felt my panties sliding down my legs. When he pushed them down to my ankles, I stepped out of them, and he flung them onto the ground behind him. I glanced over my shoulder and watched as Gavin dropped his pants, his cock coming to life in front of me. Gavin caught me staring and he reached for something on a nearby table. He tossed it to me.
“Put this on over your eyes,” he said, his voice gruff and commanding.
I look and see that it's a blindfold, so I put it on, blacking out my view entirely. Everything is dark, and I'm left to trust Gavin entirely. He grabbed hold of my ass, and I feel him pressing his thick rod against my opening. I wiggled my ass and beg him to stick it in. My words earn me a sharp, hard smack on the ass.
“I didn't give you permission to speak, my pet,” he says.
“I'm sorry,” I say meekly.
I feel him step forward and he grabs a fistful of my hair, yanking my head backward viciously as he slams his hard, thick cock into me at the same time.
“Oh God!” I cry out, my entire body spasming as he enters me in one powerful thrust.
My body wasn't prepared for that. Even though I was no longer a virgin, there's still a pinch of pain when he enters me. As he drives his cock into me, I feel like I'm being torn open. The pain mixes with the pleasure, leaving me reeling.
I stood on my tiptoes, and Gavin held onto me, fully sheathed inside me, filling me up completely. I feel him flexing and relaxing, moving ever so slightly inside me. I clenched up the muscles inside me, squeezing him back, drawing a throaty groan from him.
“Fuck, Josie,” he said. “I'll never get tired of your tight little cunt. It's the sweetest I've ever had.”
He pulled my hair good and hard as he started moving in and out of me, his hands holding my hips tightly.
With the blindfold on, I couldn't see anything. I could only feel, which only intensified every movement and sensation that was rippling through me. The pain mixed with pleasure was almost too much. And yet it was everything I'd dreamt about for months now, ever since the last time we'd been together.
The last time we'd fucked.
The last time I knew what true pleasure really was.