***
It felt so good to be back in Colorado. The cold crisp air in this mountain town brought back a wave of warm memories from my childhood.
“Kyra!”
I looked up and saw my father, with his broad chest and his long beard. I rushed toward him, throwing my arms out and wrapping myself around his body. I didn’t get home as much as I had while I was in college, and the smell of firewood and forest permeated his clothing as I clung tightly to him.
His grip instantly tightened on me, sensing that something was wrong as he set me down onto my feet.
His eyes fell to my left hand, now bare compared to the last time he saw it. He flicked his gaze up to my face, his dark brown eyes studying me closely. That was the thing about my father. He never had to say a word in order to make you feel both loved and petrified at the same time.
I pitied Landon if my father ever saw him again.
“Good riddance,” my father said before he took my bag, and we made our way towards his truck.
The car ride brought back so many blissful memories. The mountains rose to their precipices in the distance. Their snow-capped tops blended into the crisp, white clouds that hunkered down over their tops. The winding roads became steeper and heftier, and I could hear my father’s truck working just to get up and down the inclines.
The trees were lined with snow and ice, twinkling with radiance in their new outfits, while winter blues and Christmas whites permeated my vision. My small hometown was draped in its winter wonderland costume, and all I could think about was cozying up next to a warm fire by the window and watching the snow fall along the tree line on the horizon.
“You remember that time your mother tried to surprise you, that year she had to travel?” my father asked.
“The year she left for that convention or whatever she was doing?”
“Yeah. Remember how she tried to climb through your window and ended up breaking her leg?”
“My gosh, I do remember that. She broke her leg and got pneumonia from falling face-first in the snow.”
“That woman was wild,” he said.
“Remember the year Mom tried to make all of our Christmas treats instead of buying them like she always did?”
“That was the year she charred half the kitchen. We had to remodel that year. I told her it was her Christmas gift. You wanna know what my favorite Christmas memory of her is, though?”
“What’s that, Dad?”
“Remember that year you introduced us to your first boyfriend? What was his name… Dan?”
“Jacob?” I asked.
“Whatever. I didn’t have to say one damn word to that boy. Your mother ended up reading him his rights on how we expected him to treat you, and he shivered in his boots whenever she came around. And if she was still here, that Larry fella would be doing the same.”
“You mean Landon?” I asked.
“Whatever.”
“It doesn’t really matter now. I think it’s over for good between the two of us.”
“How so?” he asked.
“I got tired of him laughing at my ambitions, and he wouldn’t open up to me about certain things that made me uncomfortable.”
“I say that’s about as done as it gets.”
Just as we pulled up into the driveway of my home, my father took my hand. My father wasn’t one for physical gestures with other people, so when I felt the warmth of his calloused hand against mine, I whipped my gaze over to him. He was studying me closely, like I could always remember him doing to Mom, and in an instant, I knew what he was going to say.
“You deserve someone who believes in you, and that person isn’t Logan.”
“Landon.”
“Whatever,” he said.
I smiled and giggled before I leaned over and kissed his cheek. The two of us stepped out of the truck, my eyes sweeping over the vast view of the mountains from our porch. The Trents and my family were the only people settled on this mountain. I drew in a deep breath as I panned my gaze over to their house. I knew they were here. I could tell by all the pictures they had been sending me over the course of my plane ride.
But something inside me was disappointed they weren’t out here to truly welcome me home.
I had missed all of them when I moved to the city. We were very close growing up. Partially because we were neighbors, partially because of the death of my mother and the toll that took on all of us, and partially because we were thirty minutes outside of town and no one ever wanted to trek up the mountain to visit us. The heavenly peaks reached for the skies, displaying their light gray cascades and their dripping white snow havens, but these picturesque hills were no match for the beauty that was the Trent’s home.
If only because I knew who was already there.
In high school, I had a crush on all of them. Not one of them, and not some of them, but all of them. They were gorgeous, but I had to admit that Carol was right about that picture they sent me. Their muscles had bloomed, and their strength had grown. The beards on their faces accented their eyes and lips in ways I didn’t really know were possible. I missed their closeness and their unique personalities. Each one of them always had a way of making me smile and laugh in the best ways possible. It’s what made all of them so important to me.
It was the bond I realized I was missing with Landon.
“You coming?” my father asked.
I let out a sigh, watching the steam rise from my lips before dissipating into the cold, winter dusk that was settling over the mountains.
“Yeah. I’m coming.”
I knew my old bedroom was waiting for me to unpack my things, and as my eyes lingered on their house outside my window, I couldn’t help the tears that rose to my eyes as a thought crossed my mind.
I don’t want to go back.