CHAPTER 22

Michael

Friday was the longest day of my life. I planned to drop by Julie’s house after work that day. Christmas was right around the corner, and I wanted to give her the gift I’d found at Annabelle’s. She still hadn’t called me, so I assumed her article was taking longer than she expected. Still, I couldn’t wait another day to see her. So, when five o’clock hit, I ran out of the office and hurried home to grab Julie’s present.

I took a quick shower and got dressed, hoping Julie would either ask me to stay or want to go out to dinner. Either way, I didn’t care. I just wanted to spend time with her. This week had been terrible. Between the drama with Josh and the distance between Julie and me, I was miserable. Work sucked, too. All I wanted was to bury myself in Julie and let the rest of the world disappear around us. I only hoped she felt the same way.

As I drove through town, I kept a firm hand on the crystal Christmas tree. It was safely tucked away inside its box, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Annabelle said she’d had it for years, so it was old and fragile. The last thing I needed was for it to break before I even made it to Julie’s front door.

I stopped right outside Julie’s house and stared at her front door. We hadn’t seen each other in days. I missed her so much that it made my chest ache with need. I threw open my door and grabbed the tree from the passenger seat. Tucking the box safely under my arm, I jogged up to the front door and rang the bell.

At first, I didn’t hear anything. The lights were on inside, and Julie’s car was parked in the driveway, so I knew she was home. I waited a minute before I rang the bell again. Still, I heard nothing. I frowned and took a step closer to the door. I peered through the window, trying to see if there was movement inside. I couldn’t see anything, so I stepped back and knocked hard.

Finally, I heard hurried footsteps inside. I smiled when I saw Julie’s face appear behind the glass. She didn’t return the smile. When she opened the door, she was staring at me with disinterest. My smile faltered for a second before I pushed myself forward.

“Hey,” I said. “How’s it going?”

“Fine.” Julie lips barely moved when she spoke.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t really want to see you right now,” Julie said firmly. “Maybe you should just go.”

“Go?” I blinked. “Julie, what are you talking about? What’s wrong?”

Julie shook her head and looked away from me. Her eyes fell on something to my left. She fixed a fake smile on her face and then lifted her hand to wave. I followed her gaze. Her next-door neighbor was sitting on the porch, staring at us with beady eyes. She was clearly trying to eavesdrop on our conversation.

“Just come inside.” Julie sighed. “I don’t want anyone to hear us.”

I still didn’t know what was going on, but I followed her inside all the same. The house looked exactly as it did the last time I was there. The only difference was a small tree in the corner of the living room. I smiled when I saw it, thinking about the crystal tree I was holding.

“Let’s just make this quick,” Julie said. “What do you want, Michael?”

“To see you,” I said. My confusion was growing by the second. The last time Julie and I spoke, everything was fine. She’d kissed me, had straddled my lap and groaned against me. Now she was completely shut down and I didn’t know why.

“I don’t want to see you right now,” Julie said again. “In fact, I’m not sure if I’ll ever want to see you again.”

“What?” I blinked and stared at her. “Julie, what are you talking about? What happened?”

“What happened?” Julie scoffed. “As if you don’t know.”

“I thought everything was fine,” I said quickly. “Last time I was here, you kissed me and said we could make this work. You said we wouldn’t let Josh come between us and now—”

“That was before,” Julie interrupted. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from me.

I still didn’t know what was going on. I watched Julie as she stared into her kitchen, looking anywhere but at me. With a sigh, I set down the gift I’d brought and walked slowly over to her. I was scared to touch her, but I knew I had to try. I couldn’t just leave without understanding what had upset her so much.

Gently, I ran my fingers down her arms.

“Julie…”

She jerked away from me, jumping forward and spinning around to glare at me. I immediately held up my hands and took a step backward. Touching her was obviously a mistake. Her pale blue eyes, usually so soft and kind, flashed with rage.

“Don’t touch me,” she growled.

“Okay,” I said, losing my patience now. “What the hell happened?”

“I had dinner with Joshua,” Julie said.

When the words left her mouth, my heart stopped. My worst fears had been realized. She went to dinner with Josh. She still cared about him. She still loved him. They were going to get back together.

“You had dinner with him?” I asked. “Why?”

“He texted me,” Julie said simply. “Said he wanted to meet up and talk.”

“And you actually went?” I asked in disbelief. “After everything he put you through?”

Julie shrugged. “I figured it couldn’t hurt, especially if you and I were going to try and make things work.”

“What does that have to do with Josh?” I snapped.

“He’s your brother,” Julie said. “In my head, I thought he and I should smooth things over if we were both going to be in your life.”

“And?” I asked. “Did you smooth things over?”

“Well, it was a real eye-opener, that’s for sure,” Julie said.

I tried to keep my anger in check. I couldn’t believe Julie would have dinner with Josh without telling me, that she would sneak around behind my back with my brother. Still, that didn’t explain why she was acting so cold. Unless she and Josh…

“Are you getting back together with him?” I asked bluntly. “Is that what this is about?”

“Are you kidding?” Julie’s eyes flashed. “How the hell could you even ask me something like that?”

“Well, I don’t know!” I threw my hands up in frustration. “I came over tonight to see you, and you’re practically throwing me out the door. Julie, what’s wrong? What happened at that dinner?”

“Josh and I talked,” Julie said. Her voice was low. Eerily calm. “He told me he still loves me and that he wants us to try again.”

Again, my stomach tightened with rage. I knew Josh would pull something like this. I’d never felt so ready to hit someone in my life. If it weren’t for Julie, I would have jumped in my car and driven to Dallas just to take a swing at my brother.

“Is that what you want?” I asked softly, terrified to hear her answer.

“No,” Julie said. “Just like I told him, that’s not how it works.”

“Good,” I said firmly. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Who does?” Julie asked, raising her eyebrows. “You?”

“No,” I said. I shook my head. “Honestly, I don’t think anyone deserves you.”

Julie’s face softened for a split second. It didn’t last long, but I saw it. Her eyes unfroze, and her lips went slack. She stared at me closely, and it was like nothing bad ever happened. It was just her and me, standing in her living room, hating the distance that existed between us.

Then, as suddenly as it came, it disappeared. She hardened again. Her jaw tightened, and her eyes locked. It was like the wall had slammed back in place, and there was nothing I could do to remove it.

“Julie,” I said. “If you’re not getting back together with him, then please, just tell me what’s wrong.”

As I begged, I already knew the answer. Julie wasn’t the kind of person to just turn off her emotions. She couldn’t just stop caring about someone unless she was given a damn good reason to do so. Before she even opened her mouth, I knew what she would say.

“Josh told me everything,” she said. “About how you knew who I was all along. He said he told you my name years ago. That you even looked me up on Facebook once or twice. He said there was no way you didn’t know exactly who I was when you saw me in the café that day.”

My entire world was crashing down around me. I never wanted Julie to find out the truth this way, not from Josh. Part of me always intended to tell her, but I didn’t know how. I was terrified that she would find out everything and run in the opposite direction.

“Is it true?” she asked.

“Julie…” I began, but she cut me off with a look.

“Just answer the question,” she said. “Is it true?”

“Julie…”

“Did you know who I was?” she demanded. “That day in the café, when you first spoke to me, did you know who I was?”

“Yes.”

Julie’s eyes closed, and her hands slowly moved to cover her mouth. She shook her head from side to side, pain etched in every line of her face. In that moment, I realized she was hoping for a different answer. She wanted Josh to be lying. She wanted to believe I would never deceive her. She wanted to trust me.

My heart felt like it was being stomped on. I took a small step forward and reached out to Julie. The second her eyes flew open, she jumped backward and glared at me with renewed anger.

“Get the hell out of my house,” she snapped.

“Please, just hear me out first,” I said. “Please.”

“There’s nothing left to say.” Julie’s voice was tight. Her eyes were swimming with the tears she’d been holding back.

“There is,” I said. My voice was weak. I could feel my eyes start to burn. “Please. There are things you don’t know, things you don’t understand.”

“Did you know I was Julie Black?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Did you know I was your brother’s ex-girlfriend?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t say anything,” she said weakly. “You just let me… You let me sleep with you… Fall for you… You…”

Words were starting to fail her. She glared at me, her eyes flashing dangerously, and I knew the conversation was over. There was nothing I could say to make things right. Not anymore.

“I can’t just leave,” I said. “Not without explaining myself.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Julie said. “Leave.”

“No,” I began, but Julie’s answering glare was enough to make me stagger backward. I’d never seen anyone look so hurt, so broken.

“Get out.”

I stood there for another few seconds, just staring into her eyes and silently begging her to understand. She didn’t. Instead, she looked away, and I crumbled.

With a nod, I turned toward the door. My heart felt heavy as I took my first step forward.

“Take that with you,” Julie said firmly. “Whatever it is.”

When I turned around, she was pointing at the box I’d laid down earlier. I’d all but forgotten about that damn Christmas tree. I hurried over to pick it up, and then I practically ran out of the front door without a word.

I couldn’t have said anything if I’d wanted to. My throat was tight, and my eyes burned with repressed tears. As I drove home, I finally let the first one fall. I’d never hated myself more than I did right then.