CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - PENNY
The door slammed shut so hard behind my mom that the mirror on the wall crashed down to the floor and shattered into a million pieces. Tears were streaming down my face as I gently pulled myself away from Gabriel who stood quietly behind me.
“I have to go after her,” I whispered. “After everything that has happened, I need to go talk to her alone for a moment.”
Gabriel nodded in understanding. “I understand. I’ll give you both a few minutes alone.”
Mindful of the shattered glass on the floor, I slipped into a pair of boots to jog down the hallway, hoping to find her standing at the elevators. She was nowhere in sight at the end of the hallway. The only clue I had was the little indicator above the elevator doors that was traveling downward to the lobby.
I pushed past the stairwell entrance and jogged down the steps as fast as I could. The air was bitterly cold in here, and every breath stung my chest. This was the last thing I’d wanted to happen, but it was out in the open now, like I had assumed it would be eventually. I just wanted to minimize the damage.
As much as I wanted to explore my feelings for Gabriel, I didn’t want to lose my mother in the process. She had just lost her boyfriend after he assaulted me. Even though the guy was a piece of shit, I knew it had rocked her world. She had cared about him, even if the feeling wasn’t mutual. It was a lot for her to handle, and I was supposed to be the one person she could cling to at a time like this. But I had just shocked her to the core, too. I needed to catch up to her and explain everything. She deserved that much, at least.
I reached the lobby just in time to see the elevator doors slide open. My mother stormed out of them with a furious expression painting her face. She stopped short when I jogged into her path, holding up my hands.
“Hold on,” I panted, trying to catch my breath. “Please, Mom. Just hear me out.”
“The truth would be nice to hear,” she said darkly. “I just walked in on you kissing Gabriel, or was it him kissing you?”
“We were both kissing each other. It wasn’t one-sided.”
My mother crossed her arms over her breasts. “I can’t believe you, Penny. Do you have any idea how old Gabriel is?”
“Of course, I do.”
“He’s old enough to be your father, Penny. You realize how dysfunctional that is?”
“It’s just a number, Mom,” I said. “You, of all people, can’t tell me that an age difference is really that big of deal.”
“We aren’t talking about Dylan here. We are talking about how the hell this happened between the two of you.” She shook her head in dismay. “Dear God, Penny. I thought you had a better head on your shoulders than this. That is Gabriel Bradley you’re kissing. He used to take care of you when you were a baby. He used to—”
“I’m aware of who he is,” I said, glancing around the lobby to find that it was thankfully empty of people. “Can you come upstairs to talk, please?”
“I am not talking in front of him,” she spat out harshly. “He was supposed to be looking out for you, not taking advantage of you!”
“I know it looks like that, but it’s not. He’s not taking advantage of me, Mom. I’m an adult, and I fully consented to everything.”
My mother’s eyes glittered coldly with rage as she weighed out my words. She finally let out a pent-up breath as she nodded stiffly. “Fine. Tell me how this all happened.”
“It just happened, Mom. I don’t know what to tell you. It just happened one night, the way things do, and it kept going on. That’s all I can really tell you.”
“Did he pressure you? Make you think it was a good idea? Play on your vulnerabilities about Dylan?” she asked.
“God, Mom, no! You know Gabriel. He would never do something like that. I know it’s hard for you to wrap your head around, but I’m twenty-one and I’ve been making my own decisions for a long time now.”
“You’re not the first woman to want the thrill of being with an older man, Penny,” she said, her voice softening. “I know it might seem exciting now, but it’s just a passing infatuation. Surely, you can understand what I’m saying.”
I stared into my mother’s narrowed eyes in disbelief. She had spent a majority of her life dating any younger man who would pay attention to her. Dylan had been no exception. I didn’t understand why she viewed it so differently when it came to Gabriel and me.
“Come on, Mom,” I said. “Why is it ok for you to date younger men but not ok when the situation is reversed?”
“That’s different,” she returned harshly. “None of those men I dated were that much younger than me. They weren’t young enough for me to be their mother, and on top of that, I never watched over them when they were children. I didn’t watch them grow up. Unlike Gabriel, who I trusted to watch over you and keep you safe.”
“Well, he definitely kept me safe from Dylan,” I said. “And Gabriel never did anything to hurt me. He didn’t pressure me into anything, or persuade me into—” I didn’t even know what word to label what was going on between us.
Whenever we had a chance to be alone together, passion had overwhelmed our conversations. We never could talk about exactly what we were doing together, but I refused to believe that Gabriel would stoop so low as to just use me. I knew it was more than that. But it was impossible to gauge what our relationship was because we’d been forced to keep things a secret.
“That’s my point, Penny,” she said. “You haven’t talked about what is going on between the two of you, and there’s a reason for that. He doesn’t want a committed relationship with you. He wants a fling while you’re here visiting on winter break. Once you go back to school, I doubt you’ll ever hear from him again.”
“That’s not true,” I said.
“Nikki.”
The sound of Gabriel’s smooth voice echoed in the quiet lobby. I glanced over to find the security guards stepping outside, a polite gesture to give us privacy. I turned to look over at Gabriel as he came from the stairway door as well. My heart swelled with relief at the sight of him. Just by showing up, he proved everything my mother said was wrong.
Gabriel came to a stop behind me. He glanced down at me before placing his hands on my shoulders, giving them a reassuring squeeze.
“This just happened,” he said. “Neither one of us planned it. Penny is an amazing woman, and I think the world of her. I would never do anything to hurt her. I need you to know that, Nikki.”
My mother’s eyes narrowed at Gabriel in disgust. “For God’s sake, Gabriel. I trusted you with my child. I trusted you to help her with whatever she needed while she stayed here with you. And this is how you take care of my baby girl? By seducing her?”
“He didn’t seduce me,” I said defensively. “And it wasn’t one-sided, Mom. I care about him, too.”
“It is one-sided, Penny,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re too young to understand.”
“With all due respect, Nikki,” Gabriel interjected. “You don’t know what in the hell you are talking about. I never intended for any of this to happen, but it did. Penny is not just some hot young thing to boost my ego. She’s an amazing young woman who I happen to care about very much.”
“Young being the operative word,” my mother spat.
“Mom—I started, but Gabriel continued.
“Penny and I haven’t really had a chance to talk things through, but I care about your daughter more than I’ve cared about any woman since Kelly left me. This isn’t just a fling. Not for me, at least.”
My heart skipped at hearing those words. Gabriel cared about me, and not just in a platonic way. He cared about me in a way that could lead to something more. I reached out to grab hold of one of his hands resting on my shoulder, and I squeezed his fingers encouragingly. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, trying to convince my mom after everything that had happened with Dylan.
“I need some space to try and wrap my head around what is going on here. I don’t like it, though. Not one bit. I have to be honest with you, Penny. I don’t think you’re making the right decision here, no matter what Gabriel says or what you think is happening between you two.”
I resisted the urge to point out that she’d never agreed with any of my decisions after leaving to go to college. None of those decisions had ruined my life like she predicted they would. Her decisions were the ones that had fucked up everything in my life, not mine.
“The police called just before I got out of bed and let me know that they had Dylan in custody. I’m going back to my hotel room,” she said, sighing. “When you come to your senses, Penny, come talk to me.”
A tumult of emotions crashed over me. I knew that I was an adult and shouldn’t care about my mother’s opinions or approval, but I did.
She turned and walked away. I clutched Gabriel’s hand tightly, and we watched my mother stride out into the bright daylight and hail a cab.
“Are you okay, Penny?” Gabriel asked.
My eyes slipped closed at the gentle question. “I’m fine, Gabriel. It’s just going to take a lot of convincing to get her to calm down.”
“It was difficult for her to see us like that,” he said. “I know that it was. I would be very upset as a parent if I came home to find Neil kissing Alyssa.”
Gabriel rested the top of his chin on my head. “Don’t worry about a thing, Penny. Everything is going to work out in the end.”
The doors to the lobby opened again followed by an icy blast of frigid winter air. I pulled back from Gabriel’s arms just in time as Alyssa stepped inside. She stopped in surprise to see the two of us standing there. She swept a look over us before letting out a long groan.
“Please tell me nothing bad happened while I was gone,” she said.
“Nothing happened,” I said.
Liar.
That lone word lingered in the back of my mind as I followed Gabriel and Alyssa to the elevator. Now that my mother knew what was going on, God only knew how long it would be until Alyssa found out.