CHAPTER 31

Julie

A few days went by with no word from Michael. Part of me was glad he took me seriously and stayed away. I couldn’t stand the idea of seeing him again. Just thinking about him was enough to reduce me to an angry puddle of emotions. Tears sprang into my eyes with little to no inducement and, soon, the only thing that could take my mind off him was work.

I threw myself into my writing. My boss sent me three assignments, and I finished them in as many days. Being unable to sleep helped my writing more than anything. I even sat down and knocked out a few more chapters of my book. When I wasn’t writing, I was taking long walks around town just for something to do. Anything that would keep my mind off Michael.

I sent off my last assignment on Friday night and decided to watch a movie. My couch had never felt more comfortable as I curled into a ball and pulled a blanket over myself. I watched two movies, barely paying attention to either one. Still, I kept my eyes glued to the T.V. It wasn’t until my phone rang that I looked away.

When I looked at my phone, I saw a random number flashing on the screen. With a frown, I tried to think if I’d seen it before. I hadn’t. I thought about ignoring it, but I was afraid it might be Andrea or my parents calling from a different number.

“Hello?” I asked, putting the phone to my ear.

“Julie, it’s me. Joshua. Don’t hang up, okay?”

I froze. Joshua’s voice was the last thing I expected to hear when I answered the phone. I considered the possibility that it might be Michael, calling from an unknown number to trick me into answering. His brother never crossed my mind.

“Joshua,” I said slowly. “Why are you calling from a weird number? Actually, why are you calling at all? I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“I know,” Joshua said with a sigh. “And I don’t blame you for that. I’ve been a total dick lately.”

“I won’t argue with that,” I said.

Joshua sighed again, and I pushed myself off the couch. If I was going to talk to him, I couldn’t sit still. I paced around my living room, waiting for him to explain himself.

“Listen,” he said. “There’s something you need to know.”

“I’m not interested in anything you or your brother have to say,” I snapped.

“You will be,” Joshua said. His confidence only made me angrier. “I was in a really bad car accident a few days ago. The day after Christmas. That’s why I’m calling from this number. I’m still in the hospital.”

My mouth fell open, but no words came out. That wasn’t at all what I thought he would say. I expected him to say something about wanting me back or something about how horrible Michael had become. When I first heard his voice, I thought Joshua was calling to play on my emotions like he’d done a million times before.

“Are you okay?” I asked. My voice cracked, but I cleared my throat and pushed on. “I mean, what happened?”

“I’m going to be fine,” Joshua said quickly. “I had surgery that night, and I’ve been in recovery ever since. They removed my spleen. I have a few broken bones, and my kidneys are a little messed up.”

“Oh my god.”

“But, I’m fine,” Joshua said again. “And that’s not why I’m calling you.”

“It’s not?” I asked.

“No.” Joshua took a deep breath before he continued. “Michael was here that night. I know you two had plans, and I know you think he stood you up, but he didn’t. He got the message that I was in the hospital, and he came up here without thinking. It wasn’t his fault, Julie. He just did what any good brother would have done, even though I didn’t deserve it.”

“He was there?” I asked. “On Tuesday night?”

“Yes,” Joshua said firmly. “He was here all night. My mom said he didn’t leave until early the next morning.”

“I—” I started to speak, but Joshua’s words suddenly registered. His mom was there. Michael’s biological mother, who he’d never met before.

“That’s why he never called,” Joshua said softly. “When he got here, he was ready to call and explain himself. Then, he saw our mom and he just, well, you can imagine how that must have felt.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I can’t believe it.”

“It sounds crazy,” Joshua said. “But it’s true. Michael didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t stand you up. He didn’t forget about you. He just had one hell of a night.”

“I’m an idiot,” I said, speaking more to myself than to Joshua.

“Why?” Joshua asked.

“I wouldn’t even let him explain,” I said. “I just slammed the door in his face.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t blame you,” Joshua said kindly. “You were upset. You didn’t know what happened.”

“But I should have let him explain,” I said. “I can’t believe I did that.”

“You can still fix it,” Joshua said. “That’s why I’m telling you.”

I didn’t know what to say. It was weird enough that Joshua called me, but for him to defend Michael, it was like my entire world had just flipped on me.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked suspiciously. “You’ve made it clear that you don’t want me to be with Michael.”

“Because I was wrong,” Joshua said. “I was being selfish, and I’m sorry.”

In all the years I’d known Joshua, I’d only heard him apologize a handful of times. He wasn’t the type of man to admit when he was wrong. If anything, he would go to blows just to prove himself right. Maybe his brush with death had changed him.

“You and Michael obviously care about each other,” Joshua said. “And I shouldn’t have stood in the way of that. I’m sorry, Julie. I really am.”

“Thank you,” I said softly. “But that doesn’t change what I did. Michael isn’t going to talk to me after I slammed the door in his face.”

“He will,” Joshua said. “Of course he will.”

Joshua and I talked a little more, mostly about how we were both sorry for the way things ended between us. He knew he was lucky to be alive and he didn’t want to waste the gift by continuing to be a huge dick. We admitted that we were never right for each other, and we promised to stay civil for Michael’s sake. It was hard, but the conversation ended well.

“Go see him,” Joshua said. “Just try.”

“Okay.”

I said goodbye and stared down at my phone. I thought about calling Michael, seeing if he would meet me, but that didn’t feel right. After everything, I knew we needed to talk in person. This wasn’t a conversation we should have over the phone.

Tucking my phone into my pocket, I ran outside. It was freezing, but I barely felt it. The only thing on my mind was getting to Michael’s place and making things right.

As I drove through town, I cursed myself for being so stupid. How could I have let my anger get the better of me that way? Why didn’t I just let Michael explain himself? All of this could have been avoided if I had just taken a step back and calmed down. I felt like an idiot as I pushed my foot down harder on the gas and turned down Michael’s street.

The lights were on in his house when I pulled up. I shut off my car and ran to the front door. When I knocked, I was out of breath and I could feel my hair whipping around my face in the wind.

“Julie?” Michael’s eyes flew wide with surprise when he saw me standing there. He stood in his doorway, staring at me like he wasn’t sure if I was real.

“Can we talk?” I asked. “Please?”

“Sure.” Michael stood aside and let me hurry past.

He led me into the living room and gestured toward a chair for me to sit. I shook my head and instead walked over to the fireplace. It was lit, and the flames warmed my body, sending waves of confidence floating through me.

“What are you doing here?” Michael asked softly. “I mean, I’m happy to see you, but I thought… Well, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“Honestly, neither did I,” I said.

“Then—”

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I made a huge mistake the other day. When you came over to explain, I should have listened to you.”

“You were upset,” Michael said with a shrug. “I understand.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” I said. “If I had known what happened, I never would have—”

“What happened?” Michael interrupted. “You mean, you know about…”

“Joshua,” I said with a nod. “I know about his accident and about your biological mom. I know everything.”

“How?” Michael blinked and took a step toward me. He searched my face, more confused than ever.

“Joshua called me to explain everything,” I said. “He told me all about the accident. He said you were at the hospital all night and that’s why you never called.”

“I was going to,” Michael said. “I had my phone out, ready to dial your number when Sheila walked up.”

I nodded. “Joshua told me about that, too.”

“I didn’t forget about you,” Michael said firmly. “I could never do that. I just… I didn’t think. I was distracted. Everything happened so fast.”

“You don’t have to explain,” I said. I hurried forward and took his hands. He looked surprised, but he didn’t pull away. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice was soft and low.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I said with a laugh. “I’m the one who should apologize. I should have been there for you. I should have been the person you could talk to about this, and instead, I just pushed you away. I’m so sorry, Michael.”

“I’m just glad you’re here now,” Michael said.

His smile was weak and uncertain, but it was there. Now that I had a chance to really look at him, I saw how tired he was. His dark blue eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. There were bags beneath them, and his cheeks looked sunken. I hated myself for leaving him to deal with everything alone.

“How was it, seeing your mother?” I asked gently.

Michael sighed and led me over to the couch. We sat down together, still clinging to each other’s hands.

“It was hard,” he said. “But also kind of nice. I don’t know. We’ve talked a few times since then, but I don’t know what our relationship is right now. It’s confusing.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” I said.

“I missed you,” Michael said.

Our eyes met, and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him. The second his lips touched mine, I felt my entire body melt. I sighed and sank into him, letting him wrap his arms around my waist and pull me tightly against his chest.

The kiss was slow, gentle, and soft at first. He kissed me lightly, barely teasing my tongue with his. But soon, his grip on my waist tightened, and his lips grew more insistent against mine. I was breathing heavily, my cheeks flushed with desire.

Michael pulled away just long enough to look in my eyes.

“I love you,” he said. “I should have said that sooner, but I do. I love you, Julie.”

“I love you, too.”

I smiled, and Michael kissed me again. We fell backward on the couch, Michael pinning me down with his strong arms. He kissed me hard and fast, running his hands all over my body and making it impossible for me to think.

I never imagined I’d be with him again. We’d put each other through so much in such a short amount of time that I was sure we were done for good. Being back in his arms felt like a dream, something out of someone else’s life. It was all surreal, but I didn’t care. I gave in to my emotions and finally let myself fall.