CHAPTER 30

Michael

Around three in the morning, Sheila and I saw Josh. He’d been out of surgery for a few hours, but they wanted to observe him for a while. We stayed in the waiting room, talking and sipping coffee to stay awake. It wasn’t an easy night. Not only were we both worried about Josh, but things between us were tense and uncomfortable.

My biological mother was nice, much nicer than I had imagined her. When I was a kid, I pictured someone mean. Cold. I thought she was the kind of woman who just wasn’t meant to be a mom. It turns out, I was wrong. Sheila was warm and nurturing. When we finally went back to see Josh, she immediately sprang into action. She smoothed out his sheets and brushed back his hair. She fluffed his pillow and sat inches away from his bed, holding his hand until the sun came up.

“You should get home,” Sheila said around seven the next morning.

“I’m okay here,” I said. “I want to be here when he wakes up.”

“It could be a couple of days,” Sheila said. “The doctors say he’s going to be just fine, Michael. You don’t have to worry anymore.”

I nodded but still didn’t move. The idea of leaving before Josh opened his eyes just didn’t feel right.

“We were fighting,” I said weakly. “Before his accident. We’ve been fighting.”

“About what?” Sheila asked kindly.

“A girl,” I said. “Julie? Did you ever meet her?”

“Yeah.” Sheila smiled. “I always liked Julie.”

“Me too…” I trailed off, suddenly afraid that Sheila might judge me for dating my brother’s ex-girlfriend.

“Oh,” Sheila said. “So, you two were together?”

“Yes,” I said. “I know it sounds bad, but—”

“Hey,” Sheila said with a laugh. “Joshua broke up with her. She’s fair game as far as I’m concerned.”

I laughed with relief. We’d only just met, and I didn’t want to get on Sheila’s bad side already. I felt better knowing that she didn’t care if I dated Julie, but my stomach was still tied in knots.

My brother was lying unconscious in a hospital bed after being in surgery all night. He was broken and injured. He would be okay, but his recovery was going to be hard. I wanted to be there for him but, after everything, I knew he hated me.

It was amazing how immediately my anger disappeared the night before. The second I found out about Josh’s accident, it was like everything else just vanished. I didn’t care that he tried to sabotage my relationship with Julie. I didn’t care about all the horrible things he said to her about me. All I could think about was whether he would survive. I hated myself for fighting with him, for not making things right before his accident.

“He’ll forgive you,” Sheila said wisely. “You’re brothers. That’s what brothers do. You fight.”

“We’ve never fought like this,” I said.

“Because you didn’t grow up together,” Sheila said sadly. “And that’s my fault. You and Josh missed out on so many years together. I’m sorry for that.”

“It’s okay,” I said quickly. “I wasn’t saying that—”

“I know,” Sheila said. “But it’s the truth. You and Josh are just catching up. You’re building a relationship and it’s hard. You’re bound to fight, but you’ll make it better. You’ll both forgive each other, and everything will be fine.”

“You really think so?” I asked.

“I do,” Sheila said. “But for now, you need to go home and get some rest. You’re exhausted.”

I nodded but still didn’t move. My eyes returned to Josh’s sleeping face. What if he woke up and I was gone?

“I’ll call you if anything changes,” Sheila said. “I promise.”

I nodded again and, this time, I left. I walked slowly down the hallway. It wasn’t until I reached my car that I realized my phone was dead. I hadn’t brought a charger with me to the hospital and, until that morning, I didn’t bother to look at my phone.

My thoughts turned to Julie as I drove toward home. I knew she was confused and probably hurt, but I didn’t have a choice last night. My brother was in critical condition. I had to get to the hospital. I wanted to call her, but then Sheila appeared. I came face to face with my biological mother for the first time in my life. I didn’t know how to act or what to think.

Still, I felt guilty as I sped down the highway. I wanted to go straight to Julie’s house, but I was too tired to think. I let my body go on autopilot. It wasn’t until I pulled into my driveway that I realized where I was.

“Home sweet home,” I said under my breath.

With a groan, I pushed open my car door and stumbled inside. I plugged my phone in on my bedside table and laid down while it charged. My entire body was begging for sleep, but my brain had other ideas. I couldn’t stop thinking long enough to let my eyes fall shut.

Five minutes later, my phone clicked on. Immediately, it began to buzz with all my missed notifications. I rolled over to see six missed calls from Julie and two voicemails. My stomach tightened as I pressed my phone to my ear to listen.

“Michael,” Julie said. Her voice was full of emotion, but I could tell she was trying to control herself. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but you’re a world-class asshole for pulling this! I’ve been waiting for you for three hours! You haven’t even called or texted. At first, I was worried that something happened to you, but now I know you’re just a horrible person.”

My heart sank when I heard those words, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected. She would be fine once I explained everything. She would understand.

I kept my phone pressed to my ear while Julie’s second message began to play. From the first word she spoke, my hopes were dashed.

“Michael!” she practically screamed my name into the phone. I could feel her anger as if she were standing right beside me. “You still haven’t called me. What the fuck? After everything you’ve already put me through, you’re just going to stand me up? Is this a joke or something? Are you and Joshua sitting together at some bar, laughing at my expense? ‘Oh, that stupid Julie! She actually thought I would show up tonight! What an idiot!’”

She paused to hiccup, and I realized she’d been drinking.

“Well, I am an idiot,” she said. “I’m an idiot to believe that you ever cared about me. I thought you lied because you liked me, but you didn’t. You lied because you’re a liar and nothing more. You’re just a lying liar asshole, just like your brother, and I never want to see you again. Ever! Don’t call me. Don’t come by. Don’t even try to see me. You lost your chance. I gave you a second chance, and you fucked it up, so just stay away from me. For good.”

By the time I was done listening to her messages, I was sitting bolt upright in bed. I called her back with shaking hands. She didn’t answer. The second time I tried, she sent me to voicemail. Finally, on the third try, she picked up.

“Stop calling me,” she said. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Julie,” I said. “Please, just let me explain what happened.”

“There’s nothing to explain,” she snapped. “Leave me the hell alone.”

She hung up. I closed my eyes and cursed myself for not calling her sooner. How could I have been so stupid? I hurt her so badly that now, she wouldn’t even listen to my explanation.

As tired as I was, I knew I couldn’t wait. I jumped out of bed and ran to my car. I sped through town until I reached Julie’s house. My head was racing as I ran up to her front door. I knocked, hard and fast.

I could hear Julie moving around inside, and when I peered through the glass, I saw what was unmistakably her shadow. She didn’t come near the door, so I knocked again. And again. Still, nothing. I was beginning to lose hope when I realized that, if I left, that would be the end. I’d never get another chance.

I decided it didn’t matter how long I had to wait, I would stand out there for hours until Julie finally let me inside. I had to explain myself. Julie needed to know the truth – that I didn’t just stand her up for no reason.

Finally, ten minutes later, Julie finally came toward the door. She stopped on the other side with her hand on the doorknob. I could see her through the glass, her eyes glazed with tears and her lips set in an angry line.

“Please,” I said softly. “Just open the door, Julie.”

When she did, the look on her face was enough to knock me backward. I took a step away from her glare. Daggers shot out of her beautiful eyes. For the first time, I doubted whether I would be able to fix things.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Julie said before I could speak. “There is nothing you can say that will make up for last night.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” I began.

“I don’t want to hear it!” she yelled. “You stood me up, Michael! I waited for you for three hours! Three hours of just sitting around, hoping you would show up.”

“I’m sorry, I—”

“Your apologies don’t mean anything,” Julie said. Her anger was still written all over her face, but buried deep down was something else. Something worse. She was heartbroken, and it was all my fault.

“I never meant to—”

“It doesn’t matter!” she yelled. “Just get out of here. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

“You don’t mean that,” I said. “When I tell you what—”

“You don’t get to tell me anything anymore,” Julie said. “I’ve heard enough from you. You lied to me. You let me fall for you. You slept with me! All while keeping a huge secret from me!”

“That was—”

“And I forgave you!” Julie snapped. “For all of that, I forgave you. I wanted us to make things work. I was so excited to see you, to celebrate Christmas with you. I couldn’t wait to be with you again. I spent all those days missing you and being miserable. And for what? Just so I could be stood up and made a fool of?”

“You aren’t a fool—”

“You’re damn right,” Julie said. “I’m not. Which is why I will never give you another chance. I will never see you again. I will never talk to you again.”

“Julie—”

“No.” Julie shook her head in disgust. “I’m done.”

She slammed the door in my face and stomped away. I stood frozen on her doorstep, just staring through the glass and hoping she would come back. After a few minutes, I raised my fist to knock, but it was no use. Before I even touched the door, I dropped my hand and turned around.

My chest felt heavy as I slowly climbed into my car. I turned on the car but didn’t pull away. Instead, I stared up at Julie’s house. I wanted nothing more than to run inside and force her to listen to me. She still didn’t know the truth. She still didn’t know about Josh.

And yet, I knew I had to leave. The look on Julie’s face told me everything I needed to know. She was done with me. Forever.

I drove home in a fog. My body and my mind were both wrecked. After almost losing my brother, meeting my biological mother, and losing Julie, I was fried. I fell into bed and let the exhaustion consume me.