Evelyn
Stupid girl.
Stupid, naive little girl.
I sobbed as the cab drove me to my condo. I needed to get there and pack Nathan’s…shit. There was no reason for him to stay with me when he had an apartment to himself, where there was no need for him to be hiding the numerous women he was probably with. My hands trembled, and I could hardly even seem to keep my sobs quiet enough to not freak the cab driver out; I was too hurt.
Lying bastard.
Expert actor.
I love you.
The thought of his hands roaming another woman’s body while he was supposed to be only with me made me nauseous. But part of me wouldn’t believe it. He said he’d be at the gallery…God, he’d said so many things.
He wouldn’t do that to me.
He loves me.
It was an eternal drive. God, it seemed like the twenty minutes had turned to endless, suffocating hours. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed, forget about the moments I’d spent with him.
When the cab finally pulled up to my building, I rushed upstairs with unsteady legs and trembling hands, needing to be alone.
It was quiet, clean.
As if no one had been there at all during the whole day.
My chest ached.
It was my fault. That’s all I could think, all I could tell myself. He’d done this once…he could do it again. I cleared my throat, turning to my last resort. I took out my phone, calling him.
He didn’t pick up the first time.
Didn’t pick up the second.
On the third time, I was about to go to voicemail when his breathless voice met my ears.
“Hey, babe,” he said.
“Hey,” I replied, trying not to give anything away. “Are you still at the gallery?”
“Uh…yeah. I’m at the gallery, still with the possible buyer.” My heart dropped.
He was lying to me. I tried not to cry, to keep the pathetic sob inside, but it slipped past my lips.
“You okay, Evie?” he asked, concerned.
Fake concern.
Everything was fake.
“I’m fine. Do you know when you’ll be home?” I asked.
I needed to know in order to keep it together until then, to confront him. Tell him how much I hated him for this.
“Uh, I don’t know, baby. It’s taking a bit longer than I expected.”
Of course, it is.
And that’s when I heard it.
“I think you’ll like this one…oops.”
Jessica’s voice. I’d recognize it any time. There was a long pause, and then I heard a soft giggle in the background.
Nathan’s voice cut me off.
“Evie, I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”
With a quick goodbye, I hung up. I didn’t want to move, but by then I was nauseous at the thought of him being with her. I threw up until my weakened limbs could barely hold me up. Loving Nathan was so tiring.
I rinsed my mouth, staring back at the mirror at my pale appearance.
It shouldn’t have surprised me at all—he’d cheated on my sister with me.
He’d always cheat.
Once I finished putting myself together, I walked back into my bedroom—our bedroom—where the memories stared back at me. Where they mocked me…
How was I going to see him face to face?
How the hell would I confront him?
I let myself fall to the floor, crying into my hands despite trying to remain strong.
I’d known pain…betrayal. But when it comes from the single person you don’t ever expect it from…it’s too much to handle.
Thread by thread, stitch by stitch, my mended heart began to shatter, and all the pieces fell apart.
I should have never trusted him.
Should have never let him in.
And still, even with what I had been through, I decided that loving him was the right choice.
You deserve this for being so naive.
After a while of just staring off, my phone buzzed, getting my attention and bringing me out of my pained haze. I looked down, reading the words that would have made me very happy before.
Nathan: On my way home, baby.
Standing up, I wiped my away my tears, refusing to let him see me cry.
Not again.
***
I sat on the sofa, waiting patiently, tapping my foot on the floor while Nathan arrived. This part was easy; keeping it together in front of him would be the difficult part. Though the sadness was still there, now anger was starting to overshadow it.
I was angry at Nathan for lying to me, for being such a good damn actor to fool me into thinking that he was in love with me.
Faithful.
I scoffed at the thought of the word.
More than anything, though, I was angry at myself. Only someone as stupid as me could constantly get burned. There had to be something wrong with me for this to keep happening.
I heard the doorknob turn, and my heart stilled for that moment; for those few seconds, the last hours replayed in my mind. It took all my courage and strength to not feel anything, to not let the thoughts overwhelm me.
Stay strong.
He stepped foot into the condo and smiled when he saw me. Nathan held a bouquet of roses in his hands, extending them over to me.
“Surprise roses usually mean you’re apologizing for something,” I said, very matter of fact. He chuckled walking over to me on the couch. He placed a kiss on my forehead, lingering there for a moment and setting the roses on my lap.
“How did it go?” I asked, trying my best to keep his lips away from my own.
He knew me too well.
A single finger tilted my chin up.
“Have you been crying?” he asked, stroking right underneath my eye with his thumb. “Your eyes are swollen and red.”
“Allergies,” I breathed, afraid of speaking louder.
“You don’t have allergies.”
Allergic to your bullshit.
I cleared my throat, standing up and setting the roses on the sofa. “I ordered pizza. It’s on the table.”
He stopped me, taking hold of my arm. “What’s wrong, Evie?”
“Are you going to tell me how it really went?” I hissed, narrowing my eyes at him.
Nathan frowned, his lips pressing together. Clearly, it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. Why was I even trying to get him to confess?
“Let me go,” I said, my voice breaking.
“Evelyn, what is going on with you?”
“What is going on with you? Lying to me, making me feel like an idiot?” I said, my tears spilling over. Nathan furrowed his brows, his gray orbs pained at the sight of me crying.
He let me go.
“Where were you?”
“I was with a client, I—”
“Don’t lie. I know you weren’t there,” I yelled. Nathan swallowed.
Guilt.
That’s all I saw.
“Evie, I—”
“Unless you’re telling me the truth, don’t say anything to me,” I sobbed, turning around, determined to avoid any further confrontation.
Nathan had a different idea.
“Where do you think I was?” he questioned, his tone accusatory. Disappointed.
I tensed, not daring to take a step further.
“Answer me. What the fuck do you think I was doing?”
I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to answer his own question. Why should I repeat what I already knew? Wouldn’t have that just been more painful for me? Why would he want to hurt me that way on top of everything I already knew?
“Jessica.”
Once again, he pressed his lips together. He seemed honestly confused, hurt even.
“Yes. I was with her.”
“Where?” I asked.
“At a cafe,” he replied.
“Are you sure?”
Scoffing, Nathan shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re pulling this shit,” he muttered.
“I can’t believe you.”
“Do you even want me here?” he asked, scratching the back of his head.
Yes.
No.
“Do what you want, Nathan. You always do anyways.”
Without expecting a reply, I walked to my room, lying down on the bed and trying to ignore a second bout of nausea. Everything was taking a toll on my body, and I was just so, so tired of everything. I wanted it all to go away.
I was so weak.
Hannah would be laughing at me if she knew.
Hell, she’d probably remind me how much I deserve this.
His footsteps carried out throughout the condo, and I tried to shut out the sound of him. What was he waiting for? I didn’t want him there anymore; he didn’t want me, so what did he want?
The answer became clear when, after a few minutes, the door to my bedroom creaked open. Unable to hold back, a ragged sob left my lips. I heard him sigh, but he made no attempt to touch me.
“What do you want?” I asked him.
“You told me to do what I want, and I want to sleep next to the woman I love, but I can’t unless you tell me what the fuck is wrong.”
I sat up, wiping my face for the hundredth time. Nathan seemed unfazed.
“I don’t want you to stay.”
“Liar.” He stood across the room, leaning against the dresser. His gaze was unwavering as he spoke. “You obviously think something is going on, so why don’t you just clear up whatever is going on in that little head of yours?”
There was nothing I could say to that. I knew he was completely right, but for some reason, I now felt like an idiot.
“Ask me,” he said.
For the first time during all the chaos, I was doubting what I so quickly believed to be true. Nonetheless, I knew I had to ask.
“Are you cheating on me?”