Nathan
“What do you think of this one?” Evie asked, holding up a light blue bathing suit. It was the tenth option in less than three minutes.
We were going to be spending the day at the lake with my parents and Carter, and as always, Evie was debating on what to pack. She’d already prepared enough clothes for a week even though it would only be a day, but there was no arguing with a pregnant woman.
We’d go first to her appointment, get the baby checked out, and then have what we hoped would be a relaxing day. Things weren’t exactly tense between us anymore, but we hadn’t resolved anything, either. We were both walking on eggshells, trying not to argue anymore.
“Why don’t you just take all of them? See what color you’re in the mood for when we get there?”
She frowned. “It’s pointless to take all bathing suits, Nate. I mean, it’s only one day.”
I laughed. “Then why do you have a whole suitcase packed?”
Evie glared playfully, and her lips tilted up to a small smile. However, her expression turned serious in just a matter of seconds. “You don’t think it’ll make a bad impression on your parents? Me wearing a bikini? They won’t think I’m showing too much?”
“Why the worry?” I asked, not understanding why now all of a sudden she had this irrational fear.
My parents adored her. In fact, they had been the ones to insist on buying the ring. I had planned a grand design, something that would completely blow Evie’s mind, but in the end, I settled for something more meaningful for her. The only problem was finding the moment to give it to her.
Shrugging, she replied, “Things are already weird between you and me. If they start not to like me, it’ll be the thing that finishes us…” She bit her lip nervously. “I don’t want anything to cut the small bit of thread holding us together.”
Since our argument a couple of days ago, she’d been very quiet, to the point I wondered if she was depressed. I realized we both needed to get the hell out of the house, change scenery for a bit to clear our minds.
I suggested going to the lake, knowing she loved the place. Her eyes had immediately lit up, and she began packing just minutes afterward to make sure she’d have everything.
I was even starting to think that it was a good idea to take a couple of days off at the gallery now that things had settled down to spend time with her. We needed the time together, apart from our problems. Away from everyone else.
“My parents love you,” I said with a reassuring smile.
Her gaze met mine, and I could hear the unspoken question.
Do you love me too?
Instead of saying anything, I stepped closer to her, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Let’s finish up to get you to your appointment, okay?”
She nodded, giving me a small smile.
The silence that surrounded us on our way to the appointment was relaxing. I had many questions of my own. I was certain I’d felt the baby moving, but Evie hadn’t mentioned anything.
“Do you think they may be able to tell us if it’s a boy or girl?”
I grinned at her. “You’re anxious to know, aren’t you?”
“I really want to know.”
If it was a boy, then I’d be happy…but I could already picture a little Evelyn running around, causing chaos along with her mother. Sure, both would be a handful, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.
We arrived at the doctor’s office, and while we waited to be called back, Evie looked through magazines, her eyes lighting up every time she read something about the stage of pregnancy she was in. Unable to help myself, I tilted her chin up and placed a soft kiss on her lips, lingering there a bit longer than I should have.
“Ms. Evelyn Carson?”
The nurse called Evie’s name with a small laugh at our PDA. “Let’s go, pretty girl.”
Once in the room, Evie lay back on the exam table, quietly looking around. She didn’t seem nervous, just thoughtful. I didn’t have much of a chance to ask what was on her mind because the doctor soon knocked.
“Good morning. How are you two doing today?”
“Good,” Evie replied with a smile.
“Baby is growing, huh?” The doctor raised her eyebrows, smiling when she saw Evie’s growing bump.
“Every day.”
Already used to the routine of being at the doctor’s office, Evie pulled up her shirt, prepared for the cold gel to get the ultrasound done. Her eyes flew to the screen, eager to see our baby.
I did the same.
The sound of our baby’s heartbeat filled the room just as the image settled on the screen. Evie beamed, glancing my way to make sure I was looking.
“Beautiful heartbeat…and wonderfully active baby.” The doctor smiled when the baby moved what seemed to be his/her legs and arms. Evie laughed softly. “Have you felt movement?”
Evie sighed, giving the doctor a slow nod.
She had?
“The day before yesterday, actually.” Evelyn didn’t turn to look at me.
The day of the exhibition.
Dread started to set in along with realization. I didn’t really hear the rest of the conversation between the doctor and her while I thought back to that day. She’d been so heartbroken and sad, and while I knew my words held a large part of that responsibility, I never imagined the weight they had carried.
Once in the car, I broke the silence between us, saying the only the thing that came to mind. “You didn’t tell me the baby was moving.”
“I tried,” she whispered, her gaze sad. She cleared her throat, and though she tried to push them back, I could see the tears already in her eyes. “I went to the park that day by myself. I wasn’t planning on meeting Derek there, but he was…”
I tensed at the mention of his name but kept quiet. My mouth had fucked enough things up already.
“We talked.” She shrugged. “That’s all we did. He didn’t say anything bad about you. He was honest with me about his intentions. And then I felt the baby move.” She smiled, but it didn’t meet her eyes. “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to wait for a cab…I don’t know. I just wanted to get to you as quickly as possible…”
Fuck.
I’m an idiot.
“It was stupid to do that, I know. But I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t want to piss you off, and I didn’t want to cause more problems. My only worry was to share that moment with you, but you turned me away.”
“Did he feel…the baby?” I asked, tentative.
She nodded. “I didn’t want it to be him, though.”
Evelyn bit her lip to keep from quivering.
“Evie, I’m—”
“Don’t.” She shook her head, not angrily, but sad. I’d taken her hope that day and crushed it. Now it all made sense. She had spent the whole day crying. She’d spent all day longing to tell me.
Then I got home and hurt her even further. Despite that, she still tried to let me know what had happened, tried to speak up, and I didn’t give her a chance. What was supposed to be a beautiful experience for us had turned sour. I would always regret it.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
It wasn’t true, though. I could tell by the way it affected her to talk about it. I’d hurt her deeply. Jealousy was turning me into a man I didn’t want to be, and for the first time, I had to admit that Derek had been right.
I was a dick.
He’d probably seen her excited face and was caught off guard when he saw me at a bar when my girlfriend wanted nothing but to be together that day.
“We should get going,” she said quietly. “Your parents are going to be waiting.”
Neither of us made any attempt for conversation on our way to my parents, and by the time we arrived, Evie had put on a smile as if nothing had ever happened.
Carter was already there, helping my dad grill while my mom set up a table next to the shade of trees. We’d be eating next to the lake, something I knew Evie would appreciate. I placed the chairs around the table, not missing the way my mom eyed me with caution.
“How did the appointment go?” she asked.
“It went well,” I replied, watching as Evie pulled off her shorts. It didn’t matter that she was pregnant; in fact, she looked sexier and more beautiful than ever.
“She’s oddly quiet,” my mom pointed out. “Usually, she’s here with us, making conversation with your dad and me…or she’s with you. Is everything okay?”
My dad and Carter turned their attention to me as they awaited my answer. I glanced back at Evie, who was already in the water, lying back and floating around the water with her eyes closed.
“Rough patch,” I replied, not wanting to elaborate.
Carter raised an eyebrow. Evie was like a daughter to him; knowing that she’d been sad was not something he ever wanted to hear.
“Are you two going to be okay?” he asked me, not bothering to hide his concern.
“I hope so.”
I sighed, conflicted. In my life, I didn’t think I had ever felt so regretful or confused. I felt drained.
“We can handle this,” my dad said with a smile. “Go be with her.”
Grateful, I rushed over to the lake, removing my shirt as soon as I was there. Evie opened her eyes; her gaze flew to my parents.
“Did your parents say something about my bikini?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows. A small pout formed on her lips, one that I traced with my thumb.
I didn’t reply and took her lips in mine, claiming them in a kiss I hoped would show her how much I loved her.