Evelyn
I’d gone mute.
Sure, I’d seen Hannah at my mother’s funeral, but to hear her voice, to have this one on one conversation through the phone, was too much. Every emotion possible I felt. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is what insanity feels like.
To talk the person that had caused so much harm was difficult. I didn’t hate her; I didn’t think I ever could. I forgave her even though she would never ask for forgiveness, but that didn’t mean that the damage wasn’t there.
“Evie, did you disconnect?”
It pierced. It was like she’d stabbed a knife in my chest and then twisted.
It hurt.
“No,” I said, doing my best attempt to hide the vulnerability in my voice. “I’m still here.”
I’m still here.
Those words held a deeper meaning than I was willing to admit. I was still there. As terrified as I was of her hurting me, I knew that if she ever came around, I’d be there.
Did that make me stupid?
Her voice interrupted the thoughts running through my head. “How are you? Are you doing okay?”
She’s never asked that before.
“I’m fine, yeah,” I lied. “You?”
She laughed softly. “It’s boring, really. Nothing to do here.”
We both paused. I didn’t trust myself to say anything else. Hannah, on the other hand, laughed once again.
Was she nervous?
“I, uh, I need you to come visit. There are a lot of things we need to discuss.”
I shook my head, knowing that she couldn’t see me. It was one thing to hear her voice through the phone. I couldn’t do it in person. I wasn’t prepared.
“I know it’s probably the last thing you want to do,” Hannah said, and I could have sworn she sounded sympathetic. “But there are things I need to tell you.”
“About?”
She hesitated. Was she thinking of a lie? Or would she opt for telling me the truth?
“It’s about Derek Hensley.”
My eyes widened, and I took a seat on one of the chairs on the balcony. I felt like she’d directed a punch to my stomach. Was she the one who had asked him to hurt me? I let out a shaky breath, closing my eyes as the words sunk in. There would be no other way for her to know that Derek was around, unless she was spying on me.
“Evie?”
“Still here,” I choked out. “What about him?”
“There’s things about him you should know,” she said.
“Why can’t you tell me through the phone?”
Maybe not wanting to see her made me a coward, but the truth was that I was terrified. If she was pretending to be nice and then it was all some sort of plan, I didn’t know that I would be able to handle it.
“It’s better to do it in person. I know it’s a lot to ask, Evelyn, but trust me on this. Can you do that? Just this once?”
I looked up at the star-filled sky, hoping that somehow one of them would guide me to right answer because I didn’t know.
“I need to think about it,” I replied.
She sighed, and I could almost picture her rolling her eyes or even glaring at the phone. Maybe she’d tell me to fuck off and make it easier for me.
Instead, Hannah made it more complicated by saying, “It’s okay. I understand if you need time to think about it.”
I let out a shaky breath, standing up and running my hands through my hair. I needed a minute to assimilate everything. “Thank you.”
“Okay, Evie. I’ve got to go now. I hope to hear from you soon? Take care, okay?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. She’d never told me to take care before. Simple words with so much significance.
“You too,” I replied, hanging up the call.
I rested my hands on the balcony, and my eyes fell onto the city lights, a welcome distraction to my troubled mind.
She wanted to talk to me now. Before, I would have jumped at the opportunity. Years ago, I would have given anything to have a conversation like this with her, but things changed.
I couldn’t avoid it this time. I had to talk to her if I wanted to learn more about what was happening. How did she know? She was in jail. The one way she could know something was if either she had been the one to plan it or Hensley had family in jail.
Whatever it was, though, I knew my life would change forever.
***
Nathan
She seemed lost.
Evie stared blankly at her phone for a few minutes after they hung up the call. I didn’t know who it was that she had spoken to, but unless it was regarding Derek or Hannah, I doubted she would be so distraught.
This moment in our lives was without a doubt one of the toughest ones we would have to get through. Problem after problem, we would have to keep proving our strength. While I had no doubt that Evelyn was the strongest person that I knew, all of this was too hard on her, especially with the pregnancy. I couldn’t imagine everything she felt, all the conflicting thoughts running through her head.
It would be easy to just run the hell away, leave everything behind, and try to start over. That would also mean never confronting our problems, though, and that wasn’t an option.
I could take her somewhere else, though, help her clear her mind.
After a while of her not coming back inside, I slowly slid the door to the balcony open. Evie turned around with a small smile on her lips. Her eyes were sad, and she just looked tired.
“I need a break,” she confessed. “I feel like I hardly get a chance to recover from one thing and then get another problem thrown at me. I just…I need a break.”
I could have easily asked what happened, but in that moment, I figured it could wait. What could not wait was getting her out of here.
I opened up my arms, and with a sigh, Evie buried her face in my neck, her arms wrapping around my waist as my own wrapped around her body.
“I’m so tired, Nathan,” she whispered softly. “I’m just so tired of everything, of feeling so helpless all the time. It’s getting so hard to get back up every time I’m knocked down.”
Seeing her sad was one thing, but hearing her so defeated was something that tore at me. She never gave up, yet now it seemed like she just wanted to disappear.
“Are you too tired to go out right now?” I asked as an idea came to me.
She pulled away from me, tilting her head to the side curiously. “It’s getting late. Where do you want to go?”
I grinned at her. I wouldn’t tell her the place, yet I knew she’d love it and serve as a distraction.
“Don’t worry about that.” I brushed her hair to the side as she smiled, biting her lip. “What do you say we go out on an adventure tonight, baby?”
She flushed, and her eyes took on the sparkle they always had. “Let’s go.”
***
Her expression said it all. For the first time in days, Evelyn’s face showed nothing but pure joy. Her lips parted, an awestruck gasp leaving them as we got on Staten Island Ferry. We were lucky enough that it was night time, so it wasn’t crowded, and she could enjoy the view.
I stood next to her at the edge, taking in the view of the city lights, a view I hadn’t seen since I was just a kid, before we moved to Pennsylvania.
“I can’t believe in the time I have been here, I’ve never visited the ferry.” She interlocked her fingers with mine, her eyes never abandoning the view.
“You’re missing out. When I was a kid, my parents would bring me to the ferry every weekend. Sometimes we would get on several times in one night, but it was always fun.”
Evie smiled back at me. “Do you want to do that with our kids?”
“I don’t see why not.”
She rested her head on my shoulder, and my arm draped around her waist. She finally relaxed, the thoughts in her head disappearing as quickly as they’d shown up.
“I used to bring Cheetos on board, throw them at the seagulls, and wait for them to catch them.” I chuckled, thinking back fondly at the memory I made with my parents. I was thankful that I’d had the opportunity to do such things, enjoy my childhood.
“Did they follow you?”
“Oh yeah,” I snorted. “I fucking ran one time because I thought they were all planning my kidnapping.”
Evie laughed, shoving me to the side with her body. “You’re so silly.”
“Babe, I’m serious. They love their Cheetos. They were the drug; I was their dealer. I stopped giving them Cheetos. It was obvious they were going to go against me.”
Rolling her eyes, Evie surrounded my neck with her arms, her already crazy hair floating around with the gentle night breeze. Other times she would have complained that it was a mess; now she didn’t seem to care.
“I’m glad the seagulls didn’t steal you away,” she teased with a raised brow. “Then who would have helped me relax right now?”
I shrugged, going along with her playfulness. “You never know. They may recognize me.”
Evie snorted, then busted into full-blown laughter, her eyes crinkling with the action. Once her laughter died down, she remained smiling and then looked over to the ocean surrounding us as the ferry passed the Statue of Liberty.
“You always know what I need.”
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it? It should avoid us many problems once we’re married.”
She snorted again, looking up at me with a loving expression. Yes, I’d wanted her to relax, but more than anything, I had wanted to see her happy. Everything that happened had been so stressful for her; Derek’s situation still affected her deeply. Not to mention the impending conversation I needed to have with Jessica that still loomed over us like a rain-filled cloud. Evie needed to get her mind off of all that. She should be able to enjoy her pregnancy without so many things going on.
“Happy wife, happy life.” She winked.
“Words to live by.” I captured her lips with mine. She sighed, as if all was right when we were together, and kissed me back, not caring if anyone was watching.
Losing myself in her became my hobby, and I didn’t care to be found. Her lips parted slightly, and I tasted her, eliciting a small whimper from her. My grip tightened around her waist as the kiss turned from gentle to hungry in a matter of a few seconds.
“I think we should go back home,” she breathed against my lips. Her eyes fluttered open, hazy with lust and need. “I haven’t welcomed you like I should have for a man who has just left jail.”
She had a way of looking so fucking innocent and yet so tempting at the same time.
“What do you say?” she asked, swallowing.
I pressed my lips to hers once again, murmuring against them how much I would love that.