Evelyn
I had been so focused on Hannah, I hadn’t noticed Derek standing afar, his eyes set on Hannah and then on me. His usually relaxed demeanor was long gone with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Did you tell him about the funeral?” Nathan asked me, his eyes roaming my face in confusion. Slowly, I shook my head no, feeling far too dazed with everything happening to speak up.
Hannah was already back in the sheriff’s car; I could see her looking back at us. Now more than ever, I was sure that I needed to talk to her soon. I wouldn’t miss that opportunity, not now that I had it.
I swallowed as the car took off. She was gone again.
I felt…lost. It was a never-ending nightmare.
Derek approached us, and Nathan took my hand in his. It was a sign of possession and distrust. Any other time, I would have been irritated, but in that moment, I didn’t care.
Everyone wanted to tell me how sorry they were for my loss, and all I wanted to do was leave. I wanted to be anywhere but at my mother’s grave.
“I’m not sure what you’re doing here,” I heard Nathan say. My head snapped up at his harsh tone directed towards Derek.
“Just came to offer my condolences,” Derek said. His lips tilted down ever so slightly, as if he felt hurt too.
“How did you know?” I asked him, my voice barely even there.
“Word gets around, especially when it comes to the Carsons.”
Nathan scoffed, clearly not liking his response.
“Listen,” Derek said, this time directed to Nathan, “I don’t mean any harm at all. I heard the news, and I just wanted to be here, let Evelyn know that if she needs something, I’m here to offer help.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Derek nodded with a small smile. An awkward silence surrounded us, soon broken by Nathan’s voice as he excused himself.
Derek chuckled. ”It’s good that he’s protective of you.”
“He doesn’t trust you.”
“Do you?”
I looked at the man before me. He had traitor written all over his face; something told me so. Yet his warm gaze said otherwise. I’d find out one day. I knew I would. It was just a matter of time.
“I do.”
His forehead creased in surprise. “Why?”
“Call it naivety.” I cleared my throat, turning to the place where the sheriff’s car had been parked just minutes before. “Did you see my sister?”
Something about the aura surrounding him became darker and even angry. “I did.”
“Did you hear her?”
Nodding, he replied, “Yeah.”
“She’s changed.”
He wanted to say many things to my simple statement but held back, as if he didn’t know how to explain what was on his mind.
Though he hesitated, he surrounded me with his arms, embracing me like he’d known me for a long time.
It was strange at first. Very, very strange.
I stilled, unsure of what to do, unsure whether to return the hug. But my eyes soon closed, and my arms surrounded him on their own accord.
“I’m very, very sorry,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “But you’ll be okay.”
I choked up. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t feel anything other than his tender words that like some type of super glue were able to keep me from falling apart.
Derek pulled back, cupping my face in his hands for just a moment. He smiled, wiping away the tears that escaped. He looked behind us, chuckling softly and then returning his green eyes to mine. “I’m going to leave now, because your boyfriend looks like he’s going to beat the shit out of me, but let’s stay in contact, yeah?”
I wanted to speak up, but the onslaught of emotions wouldn’t let me. Somehow, he understood.
“It’s okay.” He nodded. “Take care. Take care of that baby.”
He sighed, closing his eyes as he kissed my forehead. “I’ll see you around, Evelyn.”
***
We flew back to New York that same night. Nathan was eerily quiet, pretending to read something, though I knew his mind was elsewhere.
The words Hannah spoke divided both my heart and mind. They paid a small homage to my mother yet managed to soothe me. She didn’t have to touch me or speak directly to me; her words had been comforting.
Derek was a mystery, though. I couldn’t explain why or how his hold made me feel better despite the circumstances.
When we landed in New York, we took a cab to my condo, but something told me that I didn’t need to go home; I needed to be somewhere else. It was late, however, and I wasn’t sure how well received we would be.
“Nathan?” I asked quietly. He turned to me, his gray eyes concerned in the dark of the night.
“Yeah?”
“Can we go to your parents’ house?”
He frowned but didn’t ask any questions. After telling the cab driver the new address to where we were heading, he hesitantly took my hand in his and held it the rest of the way.
***
“Sorry for the late visit,” was my greeting to Nathan’s parents.
Nathan carried our luggage inside, hardly even bothering to say anything. I didn’t blame him; it had been a long day for the both of us. Both his parents sensed the tension between us, however, stealing questioning glances from each other every time they could.
“Take a seat,” Deborah said, placing her hand over my arm. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Just water,” I replied.
Nathan shook his head in disapproval. “Give her toast or something too. She hasn’t eaten.”
“I’m really not hungry.”
Nathan pressed his lips together, going into the kitchen as he ran his hands through his hair. The situation frustrated him.
I placed my face in my hands, sighing. A hand ran down my back soothingly, trying to ease whatever anxiety rushed through my veins. Instead, everything burst through to the surface. I sobbed into my hands, and soon, Deborah pulled me into her arms.
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “It’s okay, honey, let it at all out…you’re okay.”
It was then that I realized this was why I needed to be there.
Deborah showed me more love than my mom had in a lifetime; she’d taken me in without hesitation since she met me.
I heard footsteps approaching, and I knew Nathan was watching, but the control over my emotions dissolved. It wasn’t necessary for me to raise my face. I could hear Frank telling Nathan to give me some space.
It felt like I cried for a whole lifetime.
Maybe I did.
I cried for the life I didn’t have with my mom, for the pain I’d endured. It was okay, though, because I cried in the arms of an exemplary mother, a woman who had given everything for her son.
“You should adopt me,” I joked once I calmed down.
I lay my head on her lap, feeling her run her fingers through my hair. “I could.” She laughed. “I’ve always wanted a daughter. Are you feeling better now?”
I nodded, wiping my face with my hands. “I held it in as long as I could.”
“You did. I could tell even by the way you were walking.”
“You could?” I asked.
“A mom always knows.” She smiled. I sat up, pulling my hair up to a bun. “When you two arrived, I could see the weight you carried on your shoulders. My son doesn’t look any better.”
I knew I needed to fix things with Nathan before he got the wrong idea.
“Thank you so much, Deb,” I whispered, squeezing her hand.
Once again, I hugged her, cherishing every second with her, knowing that she would make a wonderful grandma just like Nana.
With so many things to discuss, I walked to the bedroom Nathan and I would be sleeping in. I opened the door only to find him lying down in bed scrolling through his phone. He raised his head to see me, and I felt my heart break a little more at his troubled expression.
I sighed, closing the door behind me and locking it before I stepped inside. His eyes followed my every movement as I walked towards the bed, removing my shoes, and then climbing in. I snuggled up against him, his arms wrapping around my body with ease despite the circumstances.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For loving me like you do.” I smiled, glancing up at him. His gray eyes stared down at me intently, and I caressed his face, memorizing the way he felt against my touch. So much had happened the past few days, new people in our lives, people that left.
And through it all, he was my constant.
There could be millions of men in the world, but only he could make my heart soar even without wings.