Evelyn
The question was a slap to his face.
And I realized how stupid I sounded.
He started pacing around the room, unsure of what to do or say, and to be honest, I didn’t know what to do either, so I just sat there staring at him.
“I’m hoping this is the last time we have this conversation,” he finally said.
He was angry. In fact, he wasn’t just angry; Nathan was fuming. I’d seen him angry before, but this time it was palpable—I could feel every bit of it, and I knew it wouldn’t be as easy to fix things. Not this time.
“No, I wasn’t at the gallery. I was with Jesse at a cafe discussing a surprise I wanted to give you. I don’t know if it’ll be worth it now because it’s fucking clear you don’t trust me.”
The intensity of his glare completely shut out any response.
“Evie, I keep doing all this shit for you, and you still doubt me. I’m not cheating, and I don’t understand why the hell you’d think that. Don’t you think I wouldn’t leave my stuff lying around the floor? I’ve trusted you with the keys to the gallery, to the fucking apartment. You know the password to my phone and—”
“You were still acting secretive!” I exclaimed.
Nathan scoffed in disbelief. “Well, it’s kind of difficult to give you a surprise if I have to fucking tell you,” he snapped.
I sighed. How the hell did we get to this point? We never argued like this, we were good together, but this fight…it seemed big enough to break us.
“Fuck,” I said, standing up. Unable to hold back any longer, I rushed again to the restroom, throwing up. Almost immediately, Nathan was there, holding my hair back despite our problems.
Once I had finished, I brushed my teeth yet again, looking back at Nathan through the mirror. His whole face was a mask of anger, but I didn’t want to argue anymore. Remembering the words he’d once said about waiting to calm down before having a discussion, I asked if we could leave the conversation until the next day.
He didn’t agree.
So, as I sat in front of him, waiting for either of us to say something, anything that could clear up the doubts, all I could do was think back to what I saw and heard in his apartment.
“I went to your apartment,” I finally said, meeting his gaze.
It was hard to decipher exactly the evident emotions on his face. First there was disbelief, then hurt…then another shade of anger.
“You did what?”
“I went to your apartment,” I repeated firmly.
He scoffed. “This is unbelievable. Okay, so?”
“There were women’s clothes on the floor…wine…and clearly some fucking going on in the shower.”
“What?” The question was breathless, and Jesus, I couldn’t read him. Typically, I didn’t have trouble figuring out what the hell was going, especially not with him. I knew him.
But now everything seemed so blurred; the lines between reality and what I thought was happening were all merging, and I couldn’t separate it. I refused to back down; I knew what I heard, what I saw. He needed to be honest with me no matter how painful the truth could be.
I didn’t want to live a lie.
“Tell me who you were with,” I insisted.
“I told you I was with Jessica, but I wasn’t at my apartment, Evelyn!” He was yelling now, clearly exasperated and losing his patience. “I don’t know what makes you think I’m cheating in the first place, Evie, but—”
“I already answered that! You’ve been distant and—”
“I answered that too! Jesus Christ, Evie…and I don’t know what you thought you heard in my apartment, but I. wasn’t. there.”
I rolled my eyes, unable to believe a word he was saying. “Then who was?”
“I don’t know!” He ran his hands through his hair, frustration evident in his posture. Until suddenly, his expression changed. He cursed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall. “Thomas…fucking Thomas.”
“What?”
“Your former professor,” he muttered. “He’s supposed to be visiting sometime this week, and he’s listed as someone who has access to the apartment. It must have been him.”
I wanted to believe him, but I was terrified. “How do I know you’re not lying?”
Humorlessly, Nathan laughed, letting himself slide down the wall. “I was with Jessica, yes…but I was also with a jeweler. I was looking for a ring to propose to you with.”
***
When I woke up the next morning, I could hear voices in the living room. I dreaded going. I didn’t want to see anyone, didn’t want to hear anyone. I went on to brush my teeth and face, trying to look less shitty than I felt.
After I finished, I went over to the living room, only to realize that the voices came from the TV and that Nathan was the only one sitting there, his hair disheveled, shirt undone and a glass of bourbon in his hand. He stared at the liquid numbly, swirling it without really paying attention to anything else.
He looked like he’d had a shitty night too.
“You’re still here,” I said quietly.
He glanced up, his eyes traveling down my body and lingering on my empty wrist. Clearing his throat, he set the glass down and ran his hands over his face tiredly. “I can leave if you want.”
“To your apartment?”
“Wherever,” he muttered. “You should eat something; I don’t think you ate at all last night, and that’s not good for you. I know you don’t believe me, but I wasn’t at my apartment, Evie. I don’t live there. I live here, with you. This is my home. Wherever you are is my home.” A shiver ran down my body, but he continued talking. “Jesse is coming over to clear this up. And considering this is somehow Tom’s fault, he’ll be here too.”
I blinked, focusing my blurry vision on Nathan. “It was him?”
“Yeah…it was.”
I felt ashamed because he seemed truly hurt. Why? I didn’t understand, but he was. Awkward silence surrounded us for several minutes until there was a knock on the door. Nathan didn’t wait, and when he opened it, I was immediately met with Jessica’s voice…and my former professor. He walked in cautiously, especially when Nathan glared at him.
“Explain.”
The single word carried a weight that lingered in the air. Jessica was lost, but Thomas…he sighed, speaking up immediately.
“I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. He knew nothing…”
His words should have eased my worries but instead did nothing. I smiled briefly, taking a seat on the sofa and hearing their voices but not truly listening. Everything had taken a turn for the worst suddenly, and I didn’t know what to do.
The room felt cold, and I wrapped my arms around my body to protect myself from my feelings. Except I couldn’t. They were there, taking over without compassion.
Catching everyone off guard, I stood up and started walking toward the bedroom.
“Evie—”
I stopped, hearing my name slip past his lips…so cautious and torn. “I just need to be alone,” I whispered, not bothering to turn around.
Without a further word, I did just that, letting myself fall into the bed, drowning in my thoughts and sorrow.
***
Nathan
There were many scenarios that came to mind as far planning a proposal for Evie—her thinking I was cheating was never one of them. Thomas and Jesse left after a long series of apologies that, honestly, I didn’t care to hear. The damage done proved Evie and I still had a lot to work on.
I shut off the lights in the living room and kitchen, making my way to the bedroom. The lights were off; her body was wrapped in a blanket. She didn’t shift, didn’t move an inch, but I knew she was awake by the quiet sniffling that came from her. I approached her, kneeling next to the bed and watching how a tear ran down her face.
She wiped her face, but the evidence of her sadness was there, too obvious to deny. “I don’t know what we’re going to do,” Evie whispered. “So please…if you know what to do, tell me, because I don’t, but I’m hoping you do.”
She had all the right to think wrong. What she’d heard, what she’d seen, all pointed to cheating, but she didn’t even give me the benefit of the fucking doubt, and that stung. There was a whole world between us now, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it.
“What is it going to take?” I asked, desperate. “I’m here with you. I had a career at the university that I left behind for you. I’ve tried to prove over and over to you that you can trust me, that I love you. What else do you want from me? I’m out of ideas, Evelyn. And I’m going out of my mind trying to figure out what the hell you want.”
“Don’t you understand why I doubted you?” she asked, her lip quivering.
“I do,” I said, softening my tone. “But I don’t know how to get rid of your doubts. I had one failed marriage, and I take full responsibility for it, but you have to know with you it’s different. With you, it’s real.”
Nodding, Evie took a deep breath to calm down, her usually bright eyes dimmed out by the pain she still felt.
“Could you just lie down with me and hold me?”
She didn’t have to ask twice. I laid down next to her and wrapped my arms around her body, pulling her close to my chest while she tried to sleep. We could try to work things out tomorrow. For now, I’d do whatever she wanted.