Evelyn
For the following seconds, there was nothing but the white noise of the blood rushing through my veins and those caring, lustful eyes staring back at me.
I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. All the time spent apart, without seeing him, without touching him, began to add up, welling up inside of me until there was only one thing I could do.
I dropped my purse to the floor and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him. Nathan wasted no time; his arms pulled me close to him, grip tight as if afraid I’d disappear. Longingly, my tongue searched for his, as he deepened the kiss, nipping on my lips as if he needed to have all of me in that very moment.
“I missed you,” he whispered against my lips.
Not giving me a chance to reply, he kissed me and lifted me up off the ground. He carried me out of the gallery, and we got into his Mustang, riding off into the sunset and living happily—
“Evie, pretty girl, are you okay?”
My eyes widened as his voice brought me back to reality. Mind racing, I did what any logical person would do at the sight of their former boyfriend and current best friend in front of them: I hugged him. He chuckled and lifted me off the ground, my legs wrapping around his waist and not giving a single damn about the people surrounding us. Much like in my daydream, minus the kiss.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I whispered into his neck.
He lowered me to the ground, cupping my face in his hands as he looked at me intently, analyzing whether I was the same person. I bit my lip, leaning into his tender touch while he studied me. It had been so long since I had felt this happy. I swallowed, realizing he still had the same loving look in his eyes as before.
“Did Carter know about this?” I asked, unable to look away from him.
“Of course he did.” Nate grinned.
“But what are you doing here?”
He brushed the hair out of my face, running his thumb over my cheek. I exhaled shakily, feeling both vulnerable and exposed. “You know why I’m here,” he murmured. “I just don’t think you’re ready to hear the reasons yet.”
“Is this…yours?” I looked around at the spacious gallery, pride filling me at the thought that his dreams were coming true.
“It’s mine.” He nodded. “Partial owner, but yes.”
“That’s amazing, Nathan.” I smiled. “What about your job? I don’t understand. If you live in Pennsylvania, how are you going to manage the…Oh my God! You’re moving to New York?” I asked, finally grasping the reality of the situation.
Nathan pressed his lips together, giving me a single nod. “I’m moving to New York.”
“I don’t understand. Why?”
“Family is here,” he replied. “Besides, I think it’s time for us to have a serious conversation.”
My lips parted, but he shook his head, stopping me. “Later. Tonight, hm? Unless you’re busy.”
“I’m not, I just…I don’t know. This is all so surprising.”
Nathan gave me a sympathetic smile, lowering his hands from my face. Finally, he sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry for just appearing,” he said with a soft chuckle. “I understand if you don’t want to talk yet. It’s okay. Whenever you’re ready.”
“Maybe not talk, but catch up?” I asked, hopeful he wouldn’t deny the request.
“Catch up. We can do that.”
***
I set the table for the thousandth time. Nervous and eager, I paced through the condo, wanting everything to be perfect. I didn’t know why the hell I was acting that way. Nathan knew me well; he knew how I lived. I’d given him a virtual tour of the place time and time again, spoke to him almost every day, so why was I so nervous?
It was dark out already, and I had spent most of the day after leaving the gallery on edge. I cleaned my house from top to bottom, leaving everything spotless, and I was anything but a clean freak.
The reason I was so nervous was because I was going to be face to face with Nathan.
Alone.
In my house.
With a bed close enough to…
Yeah, don’t think that way.
It was difficult not to when I hadn’t been with anyone since him. Sure, I had tried dating and had kissed a guy or two, but I never even dared think about being with someone else in that way. I couldn’t.
Even kissing someone else felt wrong, like I was betraying Nathan in some way. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that he hadn’t kissed anyone. Hell, for all I knew, he could have already slept with someone else. I wouldn’t blame him; he had the right to move on, meet other women. Be happy. He deserved it after everything we’d been through. But for me, it wasn’t easy.
Having sex with someone meant forging a connection, even if I decided on an overall “no strings attached” setting. I would share the intimate act of connecting my body with someone else—letting them see me in my most vulnerable moment. It’s not something that can easily be broken.
In the past year and a half, I hadn’t found someone with whom I felt that connection. But as soon as I saw Nathan, everything I hadn’t felt in months came rushing back. It frightened me.
I stood up, went to the restroom, and looked in the mirror. I applied a bit of lipstick and mascara, hoping it was enough to not look like I was completely freaking out. The blush on my cheeks sold me out, though. He would know what I had been thinking as soon as he saw me. Perhaps he wouldn’t notice.
Finally, I heard knocking at my door. I took a deep breath and tried to gain the courage to face him.
If I opened too fast, he would think I was anxious to see him, but if I took too long, he would know I was trying to avoid the situation. In the end, the outcome would be the same; I’d still have to face him.
I pulled the door open, giving him a genuine smile. His dark hair was disheveled, and he grinned, raising a bottle of wine and a single red rose in the other hand.
“Can’t visit you empty handed, right?”
I swallowed, rolling my eyes and extending my hand to take the rose from his.
I ignored the shiver that ran down my back.
But he pulled me closer to him, stepping inside and closing the door behind us. I gasped softly when, much like the first time we kissed, his hand went to the nape of my neck, but I forced myself to stay level headed.
Until he leaned down, pressing a kiss at the corner of my lips.
“What are you doing?” I asked breathlessly.
How was he doing this to me? How did he still have this effect on me?
“Greeting you properly,” he murmured, placing the bottle of wine on the table in the entryway.
I exhaled, meeting his eyes when his grip on my waist tightened. My lips parted, and then I felt his gaze drop down to my lips.
“Stop me now,” he whispered.
Instead of stopping him, though, I reached up, bringing his mouth to mine and kissing him. We both moaned at the contact, our control long gone. Maybe neither of us had control to begin with, not with each other.
It had been over a year of not being together. A year without each other.
Nathan had once again ignited a fire in me for him.
Always for him.
Hungrily, he took control of the kiss, lifting me up and placing me on the table where he’d set the bottle of wine, making it fall on the floor. Neither of us cared, not bothering to break the kiss as I pulled him closer to me with my legs.
His hands explored my body, and his lips left mine to kiss my jaw, my neck, any exposed skin he could find.
There was no control.
The blouse I wore was suddenly being torn apart, the delicate material giving way under Nate’s brutal assault, but I had no time to even process what was happening; his hands were immediately on my breasts, cupping them over the bra. I moaned, throwing my head back.
He was like a man starving, and I was his meal.
Nathan’s mouth fell on mine again, my little moans of delighted pleasure filling up the room as he pressed his hard length against my very, very wet core. The contact made us both moan, and his hand traveled between us, unbuckling his belt and lowering his zipper.
“Condom,” I panted.
A confused look covered his face as he began unzipping the jeans I wore. “What?”
“Condom,” I repeated, reaching for his pocket with a trembling hand. “I’m not on birth control anymore.”
“What?” he repeated, bewildered. “Ah, fucking hell.” He sighed, his hands on each side of my body. “You think I carry condoms around?”
“Don’t all men?” I asked. I wanted to fucking cry. I was so damned turned on and horny that all I wanted to do was get off.
He sighed as he tried to regain control. “I didn’t come with the intentions of fucking you, Evelyn, so no, I didn’t bring a condom.”
“Then what the hell was this?” I asked, gesturing to my ripped blouse.
I half expected for an explanation or apology, anything but him to burst out laughing. And yet that’s exactly what he did. His laughter filled the condo, eyes shining with amusement. “I got carried away.” He shrugged. “I like you better without a shirt, though, and if you want to take off the bra as well, go for it. Believe me, I don’t mind.”
Glaring at him, I attempted to jump off the counter, but Nathan didn’t let me, holding my hands in place with his and placing his body between my legs.
“Listen, Evie, we need to talk anyway, so it’s probably better that nothing’s happened between us right now.”
“You said we could talk later!” I exclaimed, furious.
“Yes, I know what I said. But after this, it’s clear we need to both see where we stand. Let’s talk, and I’ll go buy all the damn rubbers at the pharmacy, but I’m not fucking you. Not until we figure out what’s going on between us.”
I worried at my lip, gaze downcast. He didn’t let me, however, grasping my chin and forcing me to look at him.
“So what’s it going to be, Evie? You going to woman up and face reality, or are you going to keep hiding?”