Evelyn
We were at an impasse.
My sleep was long gone, so I stood up and got ready for the day. The frail woman staring back at me through the mirror was pitiful.
Finding my way back seemed impossible.
Once in the kitchen, I started cooking, wanting to distract myself from everything that happened. There was no point on dwelling on what happened. All it did was remind me of the trust issues I still had to work through to have a functional relationship with Nathan.
Remembering how much Nathan loved quesadillas, I opted to do just that for him while I’d eat cereal. By no means was I a good cook, but the pressure to not fuck this up was too much. I heard his footsteps before I even finished cooking and could almost picture him leaning against the wall while he looked at me.
My lips tilted up slightly.
I had to believe we would be okay.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m okay,” I replied. “A bit anxious, but okay.”
Nathan cleared his throat, and finally, I turned around to look at him. “Your appetite is back,” he noted with a small smile.
I shrugged. “I have to eat something.” My attention turned back to the food in front of me, because if I was to say the following words looking at him, I’d break down. “I’m sorry I doubted you…I had no clue he was here.”
“I didn’t, either,” he answered. “He told me he’s been having trouble with his marriage, but I didn’t know the extent of it.”
When I finished the quesadillas, I placed them on a plate for him. I then turned to my cereal, the one thing I could keep down. “I’m a mess,” I said quietly. “But I don’t know what to do with all these insecurities I have.”
He tensed at my words. He must have thought he knew what I was going to say, but he didn’t.
I interrupted his train of thoughts by continuing. “I want to try this, Nathan. But you have to be patient with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere if you don’t want me to,” he replied quickly.
He stood there in silence while I poured us both a glass of orange juice and placed them on the table, eyes following each one of my movements. I didn’t mind, until it was my cereal’s turn and I dropped it all on the floor. Nathan cursed, walking to the island, and grabbing paper towels while I just…stared at the mess.
Everything was a mess.
“Are you okay?” He dropped the paper towels on the floor, trying to clean up while I stood there. “Baby?”
Suddenly his fingers were at my chin, and he raised my face up to look at him. Frustrated, I tried to look away, but he stopped me. His gaze tender, voice soft. “Hey…it’s okay, Evie.”
“It’s not,” I sighed. “Nothing is okay. I don’t know how to fix this, Nathan. We’re falling apart.”
I could tell he was trying not to laugh, and that only infuriated me more.
“Evie, all this over cereal?”
“It was my cereal,” I pouted, wiping away my tears.
“I know, but there’s more. There’s a solution to everything, baby…and we’ll be fine too. You’ll see.” He cupped my face in his hands, pressing his forehead against my own.
“At least I didn’t drop your quesadillas,” I whispered, glancing over to the cheesy goodness. Nathan grinned, leaning down, and kissing me.
It was meant to be brief, I knew that; it was meant to be just a small peck on the lips, but for the first time in forty-eight hours, his lips were on mine. I moaned at the contact, my arms wrapping around his neck to deepen the kiss. His tongue slid into my mouth, and an appreciative groan left his throat. His hand grabbed my hair, pulling my head back as his lips traveled down my jaw and neck.
I missed him.
“You doubted me,” he murmured, biting down on my neck. I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut as his tongue swept over the skin, soothing it.
He hummed, raising the shirt I wore up, removing it completely from my body. His gaze warmed my body as it traveled down, pleased to see I wasn’t wearing a bra and left me only in panties.
“You’re all I want.” Nathan ravished my mouth again, lifting me up almost immediately and setting me on the table, my chest heaving and my heart racing. I felt his finger slide down my abdomen to my panties, removing them from my body and leaving me completely bare to him.
His sweatpants followed, and I licked my lips, staring at his hard length.
He towered over me, gripping my chin with a hand. I whimpered when I felt the tip of him at my wet core.
“You’re all I want.”
I moaned when he thrust into me unexpectedly, his eyes fixed on my face, gauging my reaction. My back arched, and my hands dug into his shoulders as he held me against him.
“You don’t believe my words…so I’ll just show you.” He pulled back, nailing me in slow, steady strokes.
Everything felt more intense for some reason; perhaps it was the way he looked at me or the way he touched me, making me feel like I was the only one for him that took my breath away.
Nathan fixed his gaze on our connected bodies, groaning at the image we made. I whimpered, unable to hold back at the way he admired how well fit together.
He owned my heart and body, and when he looked back up at me, I could tell that he was completely mine as well.
“Kiss me,” I whispered. He obliged immediately, leaning down, and kissing me as his thrusts sped up, taking us both over the edge. My body tensed, and I arched my back, gripping the ends of his hair as I cried out, my walls clenching around him and drawing out his orgasm. He grunted, holding me in place as we both came down from our high.
Blinded with the pleasure, I was hardly conscious enough to realize when he carried me back to the bedroom, whispering to me how much he loved me. I gave into him that day, allowing the endless abyss of his kisses to consume me.
***
Nathan
Evelyn slept soundly next to me, covered up in the sheets. She was exhausted, especially after the heady morning and afternoon we’d spent together. Her lips were parted, and her arm rested on my chest; she had been sleeping at the other side of the bed and eventually, her body searched out mine and ended up cuddled up next to me.
I hated this situation, hated arguing with her.
On one side, I understood why she’d reacted the way she did; it all pointed to what she thought, yes. However, it had been so easy for her to doubt, I didn’t want it to happen again. For such a long time, I had been trying everything to get her to trust me, and all the efforts seemed fruitless.
She didn’t see it.
She didn’t believe it.
And I was more than ready to form a family with her…to make her my wife. Hell, I was waiting because she wanted to wait; I didn’t want to push her for more if she wasn’t prepared, but now, I wondered if she would ever be ready. The type of pain she had experienced was getting in the way of our relationship, harming it to the point where we needed to put all our effort to mend it.
I was patient, would be regardless of the situation. I just needed her to also stay strong.
She groaned softly, her eyebrows pulling together as she slept.
As frustrated as I was, I couldn’t help but smile. She was fucking beautiful. I smoothed out the crease on her forehead with my thumb, lowering my lips to the tip of her nose. Her eyes fluttered open and her lips tilted up to a small smile.
“I’ve missed this,” she murmured. Turning her face towards the palm of my hand, she placed a kiss right at the center of it. “Even if you make me unbelievably sore,” she added. I lowered my hand to her legs, gently massaging her skin. I hadn’t exactly been gentle, and she was making sure I knew that.
I’d missed her too. It wasn’t like it had been days or weeks, but we never argued to that extent, and to do so was unnerving. I ran a finger over the dark circles under her eyes, seeing the toll the past few days had taken on her body.
“We need to talk,” I whispered. Evie hummed, tightening the sheets around her body and sitting up. She raised a hand, leaning in and kissing me gently. Keeping her eyes closed, Evelyn rested her forehead against mine.
“Let me talk first, please,” she whispered.
Evie shifted on the bed, opening a drawer from the nightstand and pulling out a shiny gold bracelet. Her bracelet. Eyes shining with tears, Evelyn placed it in my hand.
“I want this bracelet,” she whispered. “I know it has sort of an unspoken significance between us, but I don’t want it if you don’t want me to have it anymore.” Her voice broke at the end, but her gaze was unwavering. “I know I have issues, and it’s okay if after what happened you don’t want me anymore. There’s so many things I have to work through, Nathan, and I understand if you don’t want to deal with it…but you have to understand why I thought what I thought.”
I brought my hand to her face, wiping away a tear. “You’re a very smart woman who can act incredibly stupid,” I said to her with a small smile. “I love you, Evelyn, to the point where I question my sanity. I just need you to trust me when I say wouldn’t betray you; I don’t want anyone else. We need to solve things, yes, but you’re all I want regardless. And for the record, I understand why you thought what you thought…I would have believed the same thing.”
“I’m sorry if it’s so hard for me to trust you,” she stated. “I don’t think I’m as strong as I thought I was.”
She lowered her gaze, defeated, and I tilted her chin back up. There was no reason to be ashamed; we’d figure out how to deal with all of this together.
“I’m staying, Evie. No matter how long it takes for us, I’m staying here with you,” I assured her.
I took her hand in mine, placing the bracelet on it. It belonged to her.
“Eventually,” I began, placing a kiss on her hand, “a ring will symbolize our relationship, but for now, I want us to work on us. I want us to work on building trust, building a good foundation, because without that, this will never work, Evie. I don’t want that for us. I want this to be for the rest of our lives, not just for a few years, hm?”
She nodded, smiling weakly and pulling me down for a kiss. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you, too,” I replied. I brushed her hair back, taking in her pale appearance. “Do you want to go out to eat?”
Evie wrinkled her nose. “I just want to be home with you.”
***
If she wasn’t hungry before, Evelyn was like a beast starving now. She was living off cereal and ice cream, but to her, there was no better meal. I scratched the back of my head, watching her as she ate a scoop of ice cream and then a spoonful of cereal. Then she sprinkled dry cereal on the ice cream.
Jesus.
This is not normal.
Her eyes closed as she took another scoop of cereal, and I couldn’t focus on my own food while she ate. The thought was constantly repeating in the back of my mind; she was behaving differently, and though she’d always been sensitive, earlier that day she had been far more responsive to my touch.
Crying over cereal too.
Then there was the nausea.
Dizziness.
Tiredness.
It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.
“What?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
I smiled, stepping out of my chair and kneeling in front of her. Quickly, she placed her hands on my shoulders. “Wait, you’re not proposing yet, are you?”
Raising the shirt she wore, I exposed the skin of her belly—flat. For now. “I don’t think it’s just the two of us anymore, Evie,” I stated.
Just as I expected, Evie frowned, placing the spoon back in the ice cream tub. “I don’t understand.”
“I think you’re pregnant.”
She blushed, the color traveling all the way to her ears, and her lips parted in surprise. It was as if even though living through all the symptoms, Evelyn hadn’t taken into consideration the possibility that this could have happened.
“How?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
I snorted, knowing that it wasn’t the best idea given the situation, but I couldn’t help it. “We both know how, Evie.”
“Oh God,” she gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. Her eyes were wide with fear and surprise as she stood and started pacing. “Oh my God, we haven’t been careful.”
“Careful? Babe, we haven’t been using protection at all. It shouldn’t be a surprise.”
“I need a test,” she rapidly said, looking for her purse. “I’m going to go get a test to find out and—”
“Hey,” I said, stopping her. “I’ll go with you. There’s not a single reason why you should do this alone.”
My words eased some of her worry.
Hand in hand, we arrived at the pharmacy. Overwhelmed, Evelyn stared at the endless options in pregnancy tests, her eyes glancing at each one of them. It was odd seeing her so concerned, especially in regard to forming a family. Maybe she didn’t want kids? Or she wasn’t ready?
Shit.
We should have been more careful.
“Which one do you think works better?” She held two boxes up, her voice trembling with nerves. “This one says you can test days before your period and it’ll still be accurate, but this one is more expensive? Does more expensive equal better? Or should we go with the cheap ones and buy several of those to be sure? Or should we buy a test of each brand? I’m thinking we should do that; buy one from each brand and see if more turn up negative or positive, and we’ll go from there. I mean, I haven’t had a period in a while, so shouldn’t they all be accurate…Nate? What do you think?”
“We’ll buy three if you want?” I asked, not knowing whether she would be okay with that. Evie nodded, swallowing, and picked up one more box.
The way back to her place was quiet except for the fact that I could hear the thoughts racing through her mind. I squeezed her hand to offer comfort. Once in the house, she rushed into the restroom, closing the door behind her and leaving me out. I groaned.
Of course, she would want to do this alone.
I sighed, taking a seat on the bed while she did what she had to do. Evelyn had to know I’d be there for her no matter what the result was.
After a few minutes, she stepped out with a fearful look in her eyes. She bit her lip, sitting next to me on the bed. Evie rested her head on my shoulder while I rested my hand on her thigh.
“We have to wait a few minutes.”
“Mm hm.” I hated the idea of suggesting it but…“You know there’s options, right? If you don’t want…the baby, that is…”
“Oh, Nate.” She shook her head. Smiling sadly, Evie sighed turning her attention to me. “I’m just afraid that I’ll be a bad mom.”
“What?”
How could she think that?
“My mom was horrible, and Hannah, well…I didn’t learn much from her, either. Nana is gone now, and I don’t know. I’m scared.”
I sighed, relieved. The thought of her not wanting a child that was ours was the scariest thing that could have passed through my mind. “You’ll be a wonderful mom, Evelyn. I don’t have a single doubt about that.”
She closed her eyes, laying back on the bed. I could see her taking deep breaths as she tried to relax and took that as my cue to go see what the result of the test had been.
“Well, then,” I said when I saw the result, “time to tell her the news.”