Evelyn
I’d never been so nervous in my life. Everything happened in slow motion, as if it was movie playing, someone else’s life.
Except it was mine.
Nathan had been less than happy to know that I booked a flight to Pennsylvania by myself, horrified by the idea of me seeing Hannah on my own. He couldn’t leave New York due to the situation with Derek, and I couldn’t wait any longer.
We had yet another argument early in the morning, but my mind was set. I was ready to hear the truth no matter what it was.
That’s what I kept telling myself anyway.
Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how I would hold up after I listened to whatever Hannah had to say. I was scared.
Part of me wanted to remain in the dark, avoid learning whatever hidden secrets my family had. I still guarded the little acts of kindness my parents had with me, still cherished the few and in between moments in which we vaguely resembled a family.
All my wishes, all my concerns, drifted away in an instant when from a distance I saw Hannah accompanied by an officer, her hands cuffed and restricting her movement.
She smiled.
She’d placed her hair up in a ponytail, and though other women inmates had improvised make-up on, to my surprise, Hannah’s face was free of it. Not only that, she seemed happy.
The orange jumpsuit was the brightest color I’d ever seen her wear, and though before she would have complained that it was tacky, she looked pretty.
She waved at me as she approached, and I stood, feeling much more nervous than I ever had in my life. Her smile faltered when her gaze lowered, falling on my belly. It wasn’t extremely noticeable, but it was there, and she saw it.
“I see you’re not alone,” were her first words directed to me.
I swallowed. “I guess you could say that.”
Hannah’s eyes studied me for a moment, and I could have sworn she looked like she wanted to hug me. I stopped any further movement by taking a seat once again, and she followed afterwards, clasping her hands together over the table.
“How far along are you?” Hannah asked, a small smile resting on her face. This person was different, a stranger. I didn’t know how to react to her or what to say.
But I remembered I had a purpose for visiting, not to make up with her. I wanted answers. I would consider answering her questions if she answered mine. Otherwise I had no reason to tell her anything about myself, not when she’d never cared before.
“I don’t think I’m here to discuss anything about me or my life while you’ve been locked up for your shitty choices,” I replied firmly. I would not allow her to see how vulnerable I felt.
Hannah raised an eyebrow and then grinned, one full of mischief and…pride? “It’s good to see that you still call people out on their shit, but you’re wrong.”
“How so?” My hands were sweaty, and my heart pounded, and God, I was so nauseous.
“Everything I’m going to tell you actually revolves around you.”
I cleared my throat, trying to remain levelheaded. “You said we were going to talk about Derek—”
“We are,” Hannah interrupted, her forehead creasing at the mention of his name. Her gaze fleeted from my own briefly with regret. “And I’m going to tell you all I know even though I’m not sure how much of a good idea it is considering your state.”
I scoffed. “You’ve never cared before. Why should you now?”
She reached out across the table, placing her hand over my own. I flinched, removing my hand away from hers. The contact was so foreign, it stung.
Hannah sighed, hesitating as she thought of what to say. I wanted to leave. If she wasn’t sure whether to tell me the truth, then there was no point in being there.
“I met Derek a while ago, when you were in Florida,” Hannah said.
She finally started. I nodded, letting her know she could continue.
“There was always something familiar about him, something I couldn’t place. I just didn’t know what it was.” Hannah smiled, the type of smile that was so odd coming from her I could hardly recognize her. “We met to discuss a business deal, and as always, Mom was with me. It was a good deal, one of the best we’d gotten, but as soon as Mom saw him, she refused.”
I furrowed my brows. “Why?”
“I’ll get there,” she assured. “Anyways, life went on for a few weeks after that. I didn’t hear or know about him for a while. By then, things with Nathan and me had gone from bad to worse. We always argued, hardly spoke to each other. He’d go out for drinks and whatnot, and I’d go out with my friends. It’s like we’d never even got married.” Hannah looked down at her hands, looking for courage to continue. “I went to a club one night…alone.”
“You…at a club?” I asked, bewildered. I never would have imagined Hannah in such a place.
“Crazy, I know.” She shrugged. “For whatever reason, Derek was there. I had nothing against the guy, so we started talking about how the business deal hadn’t gone through. The more I spoke to him, the more I became convinced it’d been a mistake, so I went against Mom’s wishes and made it anyways.”
“You did?”
Her eyes shone with pride, as if that one action against my mom was something she never thought she’d be able to do.
“I did. It felt good.” Hannah bit her lip nervously. “Mom wasn’t always that way, Evie…you have to know that. I’m not making excuses for her behavior or the way she was, but I am saying she wasn’t always so frivolous.”
I needed to know. “Why did she change?”
“I’ll get to that in a bit. First you need to know more about Derek.”
I opened my mouth to speak, ask her why it was so important, but she stopped me, raising her hand slightly. “There’s a reason. Trust me.”
Nodding, I let her know I was ready to listen to more. I’d never met another side to my mom that wasn’t her cold exterior. Very rarely had she shown any type of love towards anyone. Her attention was always on Hannah.
“Time went by, and I saw Derek often, so much that Nathan actually befriended him—”
My eyes widened in shock. “Nathan what?”
“Nathan and Derek became friends,” Hannah stated patiently.
“Nathan hates him.”
“I know. There’s a reason for that too.” Hannah placed a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she considered what to say. “We all became pretty close with him…”
“Derek doesn’t like you,” I interrupted again, confused as to how that friendship had turned into rivalry. Things weren’t adding up, and with every word Hannah spoke, I became more confused. “He’s talked ill of you every time you’ve come up in our conversations.”
Pained, Hannah looked away. “I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life, Evie…things I shouldn’t have done, but it’s too late to fix all of it now. All I can do is be truthful.”
Despite her sincerity, I found it hard to believe her. Nothing guaranteed she was telling the truth, and the pain Hannah had caused before reappeared as she spoke. I didn’t hold resentment against her, but forgetting was impossible.
“I carried on the business with Derek, helping him out in the marketing of his restaurant chain,” she began, her voice a whisper, as if the memory was something she rarely voiced but was still fond of it. “Nathan knew about it and kept the secret from my mom, and most of the time when Derek would visit, it would be at the house. It was nice, you know? Nathan and I almost seemed to be friends, and we actually had a civilized relationship while Derek was around.”
I shook my head. “I still don’t understand.”
“Nathan and I got along. We were friendly, not in a sexual way or anything, but we could talk without arguing. And Derek…well, Derek was our friend. Until he wasn’t.” For the first time, I saw true pain in her expression. “One night, Derek and I met at a bar. Nathan cancelled at the last minute, so we opted to stay out and eat. Everything was going fine. I felt happy, Evelyn. Relaxed. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had someone to confide in, someone who didn’t have ulterior motives to be with me.”
She placed her face in her hands, sighing softly. When her gaze met mine once more, everything surrounding us seemed to fade away. It was all white noise as I realized that this was the moment in which I would know what happened.
“It was only supposed to be one night, Evie.”
Wait…
WHAT?
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I shrieked.
Hannah swallowed. “I had an affair with Derek Hensley.”