Nathan
Every minute that passed seemed longer than the one before. Every fucking second seemed to drag on the more time I spent without hearing from Evelyn. I had this feeling deep in my chest that told me that she wasn’t okay, a fucking ache that I couldn’t do away with. I’d called her several times already and had received no answer; I was going insane without knowing whether she was still alive and breathing. I kept picturing her alone, crying, overwhelmed with whatever it was that Hannah was telling her.
Not knowing what Hannah was telling her was the terrifying part.
Already dealing with a lot, I didn’t think Evelyn could hold it together much longer. And I felt like she was falling apart, and I wouldn’t be there for her. She was in another state, not returning until morning, and the thought of her being distraught was upsetting.
“Do you want a beer?” Tom took a seat next to me. Another time, I would have gladly accepted it, but my priority was to be ready for whenever she called.
My dad took the beer from Tom’s hands, opening it for himself while my mom nodded approvingly. “Even if you don’t take a drink, you need to relax, Nathan. Worrying will do you no good, and it won’t make her call you any sooner.”
They’d all come over while Evie was in Pennsylvania, thinking they could help me remain calm, but all they did was remind me that she wasn’t home.
“She should be out by now,” I sighed, glancing at my phone. According to Evie, she would have been meeting with Hannah in the afternoon. It was already past six in the evening, and she hadn’t tried to communicate.
The only comfort I found was making myself think that she was visiting Tessa or David and Jenna, but I knew it wasn’t the case. I could have easily called one of them, ask if they’d seen Evelyn, but I was afraid of the answer because I already knew it. She wouldn’t be with them.
“Would one of you be willing to go to Pennsylvania and—”
“You are overreacting, Nathan—”
“He’s not,” the usually quiet Carter interrupted. My mom raised her eyebrows, and I swallowed, feeling guilty that I’d let Evie go on her own. Carter had the right to know, but I followed her wishes and let her leave. “I think I should go to Pennsylvania.” The way that he spoke with worry made me realize there was trouble brewing ahead.
“What do you know, Carter?” I asked, trying not to sound angry. It wasn’t directed towards him at all, though I knew it would seem that way, but I needed to be prepared for whatever condition Evie would be in when I spoke to her.
He shrugged. “Just book me a flight and give me the information to wherever she’s staying.”
As I picked up my phone, it began to ring, and immediately, I tensed. My grip on the phone tightened while dread began consuming me. It was Damian.
Damian wouldn’t call unless there was news regarding Derek.
At my reaction, everyone in the house quieted down, waiting for me to pick up the call. “Hello?”
“Thank fuck you answered,” Damian muttered.
The tone of his voice said everything. “What happened?”
“It’s Derek. He’s awake.”
“Are you serious?” I asked, standing up abruptly. This changed everything; he could clear my name completely, and I could look for Evelyn, be with her.
“He’s not speaking yet, and the doctors are already running several tests on him,” Damian continued, the background noise of what I assumed to be the hospital becoming louder. “The police are already here, and we hope to have him talking within a few hours, but first the doctors need to check that he’s fine.”
“Thank God,” I muttered, running a hand over my face. “It’s almost over.”
“Yes, it is. You go ahead and tell Evelyn, too. I’m sure she’ll want to know.”
I scoffed. The irony of the situation.
I would have given anything to have Evie around, even if it was to discuss Derek. “Thanks, Damian.”
“Sure,” he stated. He paused for a moment, and I knew there was more that he wanted to say. “I don’t know what your situation with Derek is, but I do know that you all need to discuss it. You are expecting a child with Evelyn, and it’s clear that she cares about him. It’s in everyone’s best interest for this to be resolved, and quick.”
“I know.”
“Let me know if you need anything, all right?”
Everyone stared at me after I hung up, anxiously waiting for what I was going to say. There was no point in keeping them in the dark when they would find out anyway.
“Derek has woken up,” I stated. My mom squealed, standing up and hugging my father in relief. I couldn’t help but chuckle; I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if my kids ever had a problem like that.
Evie.
“He still needs to talk to the cops, but Damian is sure everything should be cleared up by tomorrow.”
“Oh, that’s great,” she said, walking up to me and giving me a hug. “You see? Everything is starting to get better.”
When I was younger, I used to believe everything they said, and even as an adult I trusted my parents more than anything. However, in that moment, I wasn’t sure that I could trust those words of certainty that left my mother’s lips.
***
The sun set, and Evie hadn’t once called or answered my messages. I’d already bought Carter’s plane ticket for the next few hours as my worry grew.
I couldn’t fucking deal.
My parents, who had remained calm until then, were now concerned, wondering if Evelyn was okay.
It wasn’t typical for her not to communicate with anyone at least to let us know that she was okay. There was nothing else I could regret more than leaving Evie alone.
“Do you want to call the cops?” Tom asked, placing a hand over my shoulder.
“They won’t do anything unless it’s been a certain number of hours,” I countered, frustrated and nervous. The anxiety grew by the second.
“Not if we tell them what’s been going on with Derek. I’m sure it’s in the records,” Carter commented. He was right.
Maybe it was an overreaction and Evie would be angry if I involved the police, but I had to do something. I needed to at least know that she was okay, even if she didn’t want to see anyone or be with me.
I started to dial, my hand shaking with the fear of finding out that something had happened to her, when there was a knock at the door. Rushing, I threw my phone, not caring where it fell, and opened it.
“Evie…” Her appearance was shocking.
Her eyes were swollen, red. Face splotchy, her lips tilted down. She seemed pained, a type of pain I couldn’t describe, but I saw it written all over her expression. The woman I loved was torn, destroyed and shattered. All I could do was look at her, because she’d built a wall around herself to protect herself from any more heartbreak.
“You never told me about Derek and Hannah,” she whispered, hardly even able to get the words out. Her eyes were watery, her voice hoarse.
She shifted her attention from me, to Carter. He looked at her with the same hurt expression. I could see him swallow and tense as if a silent communication passed through them.
“Did you know?” were the three words Evelyn uttered.
Whatever she was talking about, it was clear that he understood. He gave her a single nod, and instantly, I heard Evie’s sharp intake of breath, like a kick to the stomach, and she couldn’t breathe. My heart stilled as I saw her knees buckle, and the most wounded cry left her lips.
I caught her quickly, wrapping my arm around her waist. Her hands grabbed my shirt as if it was the only support she had. Sob after sob wracked her body, each one more intense than the other, so much that I was sure she was going to pass out.
“Baby, Evie what’s wrong?” I murmured, hearing my voice thick with emotion. I couldn’t see; my vision had become blurry at seeing Evelyn so distraught.
I heard Carter behind me, regretful. “I’m so sorry, Evelyn.”
“Tell them all to leave,” Evie hiccupped. “I need everyone to leave, please…I’m begging you.”
The desperation.
“I think it’s time for everyone to go,” I said, not sparing anyone a glance.
Within a few minutes, everyone left, but Evie’s crying hadn’t ceased at all. I shut the door behind us, still holding her close to me.
I’d seen her sad; I’d seen her wrecked.
But I’d never seen her so hopeless.
“Baby,” I whispered, cupping her face in my hands. “What happened?”
She squeezed her eyes shut as I rested my forehead against hers, my thumbs tracing the outline of her cheekbones, capturing the endless tears that kept flowing without any sign of stopping.
“Evie, tell me—”
She stopped me, tilting her head up, her longing lips locking with mine. Desperate. Tormented. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pressing her body as close to mine as she could.
“We need to talk,” I whispered against her lips.
She shook her head, opening her eyes to look up to my own. “I can’t,” Evie replied, voice breaking. “Please, I don’t want to.”
“What do you need?” I asked, hoping to find a way to help her.
It was as if the question was another kick to her stomach; she breathed in, breaking into another sob. Evie was no longer in control of her emotions; I saw it clearly then. But her words, they took my breath away.
“I need someone to love me,” she cried.
I kissed her, knowing this time words wouldn’t be enough.
I didn’t know if they would ever be enough again.