Phoenix

 

What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. It would be simple just to give her back. It would be easy if I could just hand her over to my dad. Just the thought makes my mind run overtime. She’s mine. Whether I let myself believe it or not, she is. I don’t know when she became mine, it just happened. One day I looked at her, and I knew. My phone rings next to me. I glance down and grab it, jerking my eyes to Jess’. She doesn’t move or attempt to say anything. I give her a silent warning before dragging my gaze back to the road. Pressing the green button, I quickly turn it on speaker. I want her on edge. It fucking makes me hard when she’s scared.

“Hey, Dad,” I answer, keeping my eyes on the road but always having her in my sight out of the corner of my eye.

“Son. I hear we have a situation with Jessica,” he says. Jess stiffens in her seat, and so does my dick.

“We do. She ran off. From what we could gather, she’s with her friend out of town. I suppose we have to wait until they come back.” I keep my tone calm as I speak to him. Glancing at Jess, her mouth has fallen open. She doesn’t know what to say. Yeah, baby. I covered for you.

“Very well. As long as you can keep Jake in line. I don’t think we need another Sandy situation on our hands.” I quickly click off the speaker and pull the phone to my ear.

“I don’t think it’s that much of an issue,” I tell him because I’m not sure. I don’t know what the hell is happening with the two of them.

“I do want her when you find her. I have a Russian that has put a bid in on her.”

“Without seeing her?” I ask, confused. Who would do that? My dad laughs into the phone.

“Of course not. We have pictures, Phoenix. Did you forget how resourceful your father is?” The underlying meaning is clear as day.

“No. I haven’t. I have Rich already arranging for the first shipment from Ukraine, and everything is running smoothly. I’m thinking of taking a few days to run some research on Jessica.” I hold my breath as I wait for him to speak. He usually doesn’t give me any time off. He doesn’t think it’s appropriate.

“That should be fine. Just stay in contact. If you find anything, I want it first.” Before I can respond, the line goes dead. I toss the phone into my lap as I concentrate on the drive.

“You lied to him,” she says softly. I glance over but look straight ahead again.

“Would you rather I dropped you off to him without knowing what the hell is going on first?” I ask her. I’m not sure why we’re having this conversation. I don’t know why I’m letting her goad me into talking in the first place, but the next response is one that pisses me off and has my knuckles whitening on the steering wheel.

“Yes.” My jaw tics. I can feel the tension starting in my legs and working its way up. Why the hell is she so stubborn? Why the fuck if they are looking to hurt her does she want to go back there? A growl vibrates in my chest, but I don’t say anything further. I grip the wheel tighter as we near our destination. The ride has become uncomfortable.

“Where are you taking me?” She finally breaks the silence. I don’t want to answer her. I’m too busy trying to keep myself under control and keep that monster tucked away where he belongs.

“Somewhere you’ll be safe.”

“From them?”

“Yes, Jess.”

“What about from you?” Her voice trembles slightly. I swallow hard as I turn onto the dirt road leading out to the cabin. No one knows this cabin is mine. No one knows where it is and that’s exactly why I’m taking her there for now. I don’t answer her right away. I don’t think I can because there is nothing I can do to stop myself with her. I’m breaking all my own rules right now. Stay away from her. Don’t touch her. And damn sure don’t bring her in my home. I did all three. I need to control myself better. I need to think harder and force myself to stay away from her until I can figure out what the fuck is going on. It all surrounds me in a swirl of light. I’m blinded to the fact that Jake could be the one lying to me, but there is something in the back of my mind that is tugging me in a direction that I don’t think that I can handle. The cabin comes into view as Jess shifts in her seat. I know she’s afraid and uncomfortable. It practically wafts off her, but at the same time, it feeds that energy in me.

I pull up and park in front of the cabin before hopping out of the car. I walk to the trunk and grab our bags before slamming it closed. Jess climbs out and walks toward the door as I lead the way. No one speaks, and it’s just better that way. I don’t know that I can handle the sound of her voice right now. If she speaks, I don’t know that the monster in me will stay in his den or if he’ll slip free and take her over the couch. I unlock the door and usher her in first. Tentatively, she steps inside and gasps. I had this place fixed up a few years ago. I come here when I need to get away from the stress of what I do and find myself again. Bringing her into my space, my safe place, is probably not the best decision I’ve ever made. In fact, I feel like it’s going to fall apart. I know it will. Having the object of one’s obsession front and center, standing in the one place that is your safe-haven, will never end well. I drop the bags to the floor with a distinctively loud thud. Jess jolts, wrapping her arms around herself. My heart is beating so rapidly that I feel as though it may burst free of my chest and run. I can’t handle this. I can’t handle having Jess in my space. Anxiety creeps its way through my system, tightening my body. We stand here awkwardly, neither of us speaking. The urge to take her is strong but fuck… I need to know what’s going on around here. I need to know what she knows. Taking a step toward her, she shudders. I know she can feel my presence. Slipping my hand around her waist, I pull her body back against me, inhaling her scent. God, I fucking want to be inside of her, owning her, dominating her.

“Jess.” Her name leaves my lips so fucking softly, yet demanding. I want to fucking demand she strips and bares her soul to me.

“What’s happening, Phoenix?” she asks softly. My dick hardens in my jeans, pressing into her back. I know she has to feel it. My mind is a whirling tornado, and I don’t know which way it’s going to turn. What I do know is it will ruin everything in its way and cause panic and destruction, but that’s what I thrive on. I want it to be total pandemonium, and I want to drag Jess into the wind. When I spin with force, I want her with me, but how? How can I do that when she’s fucked her brother? My brother? How can I have her when I don’t even know what’s happening anymore? She can never be mine. She should be sold or returned to Jake. Yet here I stand, inhaling her like she’s the fucking air that I need to exist.

“I don’t know,” I tell her the answer to her question because I truly don’t. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing right now. This is wrong, but there’s more to this girl that I’m not ready to let go of yet. She holds secrets that I want. No… I need them like I need her.

“I’m scared, Phoenix,” she says softly, a tremble in her tone.

“You should be.”

“Why? I’m not scared of you, Phoenix.” I chuckle darkly in her ear.

“In answer to your earlier question, no one can save you from me.”