Jessica

 

His eyes are wild as he pushes me onto my back on the bed. He makes short work of his clothes, but it’s the darkness in his eyes that scares me a little. I’ve never seen him look so raw and carnal. The desire dances off him but so does the danger. I find myself torn as to what part I should want. Fear is something I’m used to thanks to Jake. Fear of pain, fear of hate, but the more I look at Phoenix, the more I want his pain. I want to wrap up in it and take parts away from him.

“I’m trying hard to control this, Jess,” he warns me. I don’t care if he unleashes it. I want it; I welcome it.

“Let go, Phoenix. I need you to let go so that I can as well.” He shakes his head back and forth slowly. Heat rises in the pit of my stomach, telling me not to push him but I need to. I don’t think I can handle it if he holds back on me. I need that pain to transform into pleasure. If he can’t give it to me, no one can. It’s a reality that I’m well prepared for. But this is Phoenix. This is the guy that has held my heart in the palm of his hands since I first saw him.

“I’ll hurt you,” he warns, his fists balled at his sides. His eyes dance over my body, eliciting sparks to dance over my skin. The crackle of power that runs between us is undeniable. It’s insatiable. I reach my hand out to him, waiting for him to take it, and when he does, my heart nearly bursts.

“I can’t do this, Jess.” His restraint is miraculous. I could only wish to have that kind of power.

“You can. I need you to.” I sniff back more tears that threaten to ruin our time together. Phoenix reluctantly gives into me, climbing on the bed between my thighs. My chest rises and falls rapidly as he holds himself over me. His eyes fall to my lips, and I’m lost in him yet again. Raising my head to meet him, his lips caress mine. The tingling sensation that rushes me feels like perfection. My hands roam around his back, but Phoenix grabs them quickly, pinning them above his head. I’m breathless and needy. I want him to take out his frustrations and hate on my body. I need it.

“You’re asking for trouble,” he growls under his breath. Yes, that’s what I want. I want to throw myself at his mercy. I want him to ravage me. I want him to further push me into the sinner that I already am. I need it to be him.

“I’m no good, Jess,” he mumbles, his lips barely touching mine. I moan and press harder against him.

“I’m not either…”

“But you are. You’re an angel that fell from heaven. You’re pure,” he says, softly licking my lips.

“I’m a sinner, Phoenix. I want to sin with you.” It’s as if I’d broken the last of his resolve. His hand releases mine, his body pulls back. Phoenix grabs his dick in his hand, pushing the tip inside of me without warning. I gasp at the intrusion, but he doesn’t care. His eyes are wild as I look up at him. His gaze lingers on me. He thrusts roughly, shoving in all the way.

“Phoenix!” His name leaves my mouth as a dark smile crosses his face. The more he thrusts, the harder he goes. He wasn’t lying to me. He is hurting me, but it’s a welcomed pain. One of his hands roams to my nipple. He plucks and pulls, twists and tugs. Pain shoots through me the more he pulls and thrusts. I can’t feel my legs. I can’t feel anything aside from Phoenix. It’s the most delicious feeling in the world. Phoenix sits back, taking my hips with him. He rubs my thigh so sexually. I’ve never felt anything like that. He raises his hand and slams it back down, slapping my thigh with so much intensity that I scream louder than I ever have before. Phoenix smirks, letting me see the darkness in him. I crave it. I want it. I’m calling out and begging it to grab me and force me under along with him. Leaning back down, his hips never stop their torturous thrusts. I can’t catch my breath. His lips brush my neck, his teeth biting into my flesh.

“I warned you, baby. I won’t stop until you bleed.” He thrusts faster and harder, my body tingling. I can’t do this; it’s too much. Phoenix’s tongue licks and laps at my throat before sucking it into his mouth.

“God, Phoenix!” I arch into him, needing to hold him tightly. My arms wrap around his back, tugging him closer. My nails dig into his flesh, and he lets out a deep, sickening growl that vibrates all the way through me. My pussy tightens, convulsions shaking me to the core. I release all that I have, still wrapped around his thrusting length.

“Fuck, Jess! Fuck!” Phoenix roars as he releases and fills me with all that he has; with his seed, his darkness, his world. I want it all. I want him to taint my soul because then, and only then, will it erase what Jake has done. Phoenix’s heavy breathing tickles my skin as he stays huddled into me. When he comes back down, he pulls out of me and rolls to his side, pressing his body close to mine.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks. I nod my head, and he holds on tighter. “I warned you, Jess.” My lips caress his skin where he has my head tucked, a groan vibrating through his chest.

“I liked it,” I whisper. His fingers tangle in my hair, caressing my scalp. I’ve never felt so alive in my life. In his arms, I’m safe. In his bed, I’m sated. In a perfect world, this would be all I would want.

“I’ll come up with a plan. I just need some time. He was my best friend, Jess. I don’t know how to handle that shit,” he admits, but he doesn’t stop moving his fingers. I sigh. I know how much they meant to each other. I know the connection they shared.

“What about your dad?” I had to ask… I need to know that he would stand up to his dad for me.

“I don’t know, Jessica! Fuck! This is all so much so fast!” Jerking out of my arms, Phoenix climbs to his feet. I watch his naked form as he grabs his jeans and shrugs into them.

“Phoenix,” I call his name, but he doesn’t look back at me. He storms from the room, giving me nothing but his naked back as he goes. My heart falls in my chest. I should have never asked him to choose between us. It was wrong, and now I see just how wrong it was. Their connection runs deeper than the one Phoenix and I share. They have been each other’s everything since they were kids. I had no right to interfere with that. Another sob creeps up my throat and there is no way to stop it from bursting free.