Phoenix

 

I had to get away from her. The more I watched her sleep, the more confused I became. I couldn’t handle it. I went and sat outside for a while, but the longer I sat, the more I felt that sick darkness creeping up on me. I’d already unleashed it on her. I was a piece of shit for using her body the way I did. I wasn’t easy on her. The drive to the warehouse wasn’t much better. All that I could think of was her. The things I did to her, the way she moaned. Shaking my head, I wander around the warehouse. If I give this all up what the fuck will I have left? My life will mean nothing. There won’t be anything left of me. I was raised to be a savage beast that didn’t take no for an answer. I’ve lived this life since the day I was born. Trafficking is what we do... It’s all I know. If I walk away from this, I’ll be nothing more than a fucking leaf in the wind. I’ll belong nowhere, and I’ll end up with nothing. Another thing weighing on me is Jake. I’m beyond pissed that he hurt Jess. It took me to a new level of rage that I wasn’t sure how to handle and who the fuck do I call when I get that far gone? I call Jake. He’s the one that drags me back from the depths of despair and makes me rethink what the hell is happening. If I go against him, I’m done.

“What are you doing here?” That voice hits me like a lead weight to the chest. I turn my head to see Jake with a bottle of Jack in his hand.

“Couldn’t sleep. You?” He holds up the bottle and shows me. I nod my head and move toward him. My heart is torn between hating him and talking out my fucking problems, but that isn’t an option. I couldn’t tell him that all this time I’ve had Jess at my cabin. I couldn’t even tell him about the fucking cabin.

“What’s up? You have been checked out a lot lately,” he snarls. I can sense his attitude, but he gets this way when he’s drunk.

“Just shit. My head’s a mess. Thought I’d walk around and think,” I tell him. Jake watches me intently as if he can read my mind and maybe he can. We’ve always been that close. He’s always known when shit’s bothering me, and it was always the same with him.

“Chandra?” he asks, tipping the bottle to his lips. Chandra’s a girl I dated off and on for a while. She didn’t mean much to me, and Jake knew that, but he pushed me to keep trying. Now I fucking know why… He wanted to keep me the fuck away from Jess.

“Yeah. She’s pushing me, man. She wants me to walk away from all this. Start over somewhere new.” Jake nods his head as if he understands. I suppose I could use Chandra’s name instead of Jess’. He wouldn’t know the fucking difference, and he and Chandra never got along anyhow.

“What the hell does she think you’d be doing? Sweeping up at the grocery store? Fuck that bitch. This is who we are. We all know it. I may have thought about walking away but shit, I could never do it. This is what we do. We were born for this shit. We’re too damn fucked up to be anything else,” he says, taking another drink. He’s right. We’re not normal. We couldn’t live without having our hands in some illegal shit. That’s sad realism for us. We didn’t go to college. We don’t have any fancy degrees. We know what we know, and that’s it.

“I know, man. It’s just some heavy shit. I feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind and this shit with Jess is making it worse.” Jake nods as if he gets it. He doesn’t. Not after having her pour her heart and soul out in front of me, admitting what he’d done to her and then turning and doing the same thing.

“Yeah. The thing with Jess is shit. She’s a fucking liar. You remember how much I hate liars, Phoenix?” There’s a shift in his tone. If we weren’t so close, I would have missed it, but I know him. I fucking know his shifts as well as I know mine.

“Yeah, I know. What’d she lie about?” I play the best friend, although I’m still torn. My heart feels like it’s being robbed, torn between the girl I’ve loved for a long ass time and now have, and my best friend that has always been at my side. Fuck! This is all wrong!

“Everything, man. Everything. She isn’t the only liar either.” I watch his eyes, trying to gauge him. He’s drunk, and the slur in his voice makes it easier on me. His eyes darken as he watches me.

“What do you mean? What’s going on, Jake?” I ask. My insides tremble. I have a bad feeling about all of this. Something’s off with him.

shoves off the crate and staggers in small circles. I don’t know what the hell is happening right now, but as soon as I shove myself up, Jake rounds on me. His eyes pierce me. He can see me, all the way to my fucking black soul.

“You know, I thought we were family. I looked at you like family. We were always together, Phoenix. We fucking stole together. We fucked together–and when one of us was down, the other would fucking drag them back up. We were brothers!” His roar ricochets off the walls of the warehouse. Crossing my arms over my chest, I glare at him.

“What the hell is this about, Jake?” He swallows hard, keeping his eyes on me. The vein in his neck thickens, tension emits off him. Jake laughs an evil laugh. His eyes dance with mischief and fury.

“You’re a liar, Phoenix. You lied to me. You lied to your dad. You are nothing. You’re worthless,” he growls.

My arms fall to my sides. I can’t believe this is happening. What the fuck is this about? I’m about to open my mouth and ask when I hear a noise behind me. The side door opens and a few guys I’ve never seen before drag Jess in with a gag in her mouth. She’s kicking and screaming, fighting to get out of their hold. I jerk my head back to Jake, just to see him fucking smirking at me.

“You said you hadn’t seen her.” He shrugs, walking past me. I yank my gaze back to Jess as tears leak down her cheeks. My heart beats to an evil dance, one the devil himself set in motion.

“What is this shit, Jake? How the fuck did you know where I had her!” I snap. I spin around when I hear more noise, two more guys walking toward me. Shaking my head, I turn back, knowing I’m outnumbered. This is fucked! How did he find out? How did he know that I had her? How did he find out where I had her? My eyes narrowed on hers, trying to gauge if she’s been hurt. I will fucking kill them all if she is.

“This is how things are going to go. We’re all going for a little ride with my new friends. Then, we will discuss things further. You weren’t as observant as you thought, man. I had someone follow your ass and wait. That’s all I had to do. You were so wrapped up in her,” Jake says. I take a step in that direction, only to have the two men behind me pounce. Punches are thrown, some landing, others not. I can hear Jess screaming through the gag in her mouth.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” I roar with fury. My hands clench, but these assholes have me contained. I try to shake them off, but they hold me tighter.

“Her? Oh, you mean the whore that belongs to me?” Jake asks before pulling his fist back. As he slams it into her stomach, she doubles over in pain. I fight more. I fight harder. That son of a bitch!

“I’ll kill you!” My voice thunders through the warehouse as Jake yanks Jess back up by her hair. Running his tongue up the side of her neck, she cringes. Everything she told me, every last word, was true. I can see it now. She needs me more than he does. I need her more than I need him. My eyes connect with Jess’ as hers widen. Before I can turn to look and see what she sees, something collides with the back of my head. I fall forward, my knees hitting the floor roughly. My hands scrape against the concrete as Jess squeals louder. In the silent warehouse her screams are amplified, piercing my ears. I lift my head just in time to see the guy behind her stab a needle into her neck. She slowly goes limp in his arms.

“You bastard!” I scream through the room right before I’m kicked in the face, and everything goes black.