Phoenix

 

I light up a joint and stare at my phone. I need to call and check in with my dad but shit, this is just too much to deal with. Her body is covered in scars. She claims she did it, but there is no way that the ones on her back and legs were caused by her. That fucking burn mark enrages me. He marked her as his with that ring, and all I can think about is grabbing my knife and carving it out of her skin. I had to walk away from her after I fucked her senseless. She screamed for me so much that her throat was raw. I never thought I’d be inside of her. I never thought I’d hurt her, but I did both. My mind has been running a million miles a minute. Her scent lingers around me. I want to hurt her. I want to make her cave in and give me what I want but she’s stubborn, and I’m finding myself rethinking everything about me. I don’t truly want to hurt her–I want to love her. I want to take away whatever bad memories plague her. I want to wash her of all the things that her past has done to her. She won’t give into me though. I don’t know that I can blame her because I still find it hard to believe that Jake would ever hurt her.

“Hey.” Speak of the devil, and he appears. I don’t answer him, just give him a chin lift. I inhale another puff of my joint before he sits next to me.

“I’m dying here, man.” His voice is strained and out of control. I’ve heard him that way once before, and he snapped. He killed a girl.

“Why? What the fuck is your problem?” I’m short and snappy. I know I am, but Jess has my stomach in knots.

“I want her back! She’s mine!” he growls. I throw the joint to the ground and snuff it out with the toe of my boot before standing and looking at him.

“I don’t know what the fuck that means, Jake! What the fuck do you mean?” I’ve had it. I’ve had enough of this not knowing shit. I want answers. I want to know what the fuck is going on with those two!

“Fuck… she’s my sister, Phoenix, and she’s missing!” Fucking liar. I know he’s lying and it pisses me off. I turn on my heel and walk back toward the warehouse. I hear him huff and follow me.

“It’s more than that!” I snap. I know he’s right behind me, I can feel it.

“Phoenix, you already think so fucking little of me,” he says. I stop walking, running my hand down my face before I turn and look at him. I mean, really look at him. The man in front of me is not the same man that I’ve known most of my life. He’s not the same one that got into this business with me, jumped in head first. This isn’t my best friend. He’s lost, hurt. I don’t know why or how but I see it.

“I don’t think little of you, Jake. You’re my best friend, man. Come on. Just talk to me,” I urge him. Jake tugs at his hair, his eyes wild. He looks around the parking lot before dragging his gaze to meet mine.

“I love her. More than I should since she’s my sister. When I’m with her, it feels right. My world doesn’t shift or tilt. It all comes into focus. I don’t know what the hell to do with that, Phoenix.” His truth slices my chest open and rips my heart out. It shreds it. It slices and dices until there is nothing left of me. What am I doing with her? Why did I fuck her? I shouldn’t have touched her, but I still need to get to the bottom of this and nothing is adding up. If he loved her the way he says he does, why is he hurting her?

“Shit, Jake. You’ve fucked her… A lot.” I say the obvious. I knew he had once but standing in front of me telling me he loves her, there’s more.

“Yeah. For years,” he admits. Fuck! Fuck! I pinch the bridge of my nose, a headache forming behind my eyes.

“Your dad would never let that slide. What are you going to do when she comes back? My dad already has his eyes on her to sell.” He already knows that part, too. I watch his throat constrict as he swallows before he drags his gaze back to mine.

“I told you once I wanted out. I’ll take what I have and hide her. Your dad won’t find her–and mine couldn’t give a shit. I’ll take her away from here. From all of this,” he says, raising his hands to make his point. I nod my head, but there is no way in fuck that I’d let him take her anywhere. He may have branded her, but she’s mine. Always has been. He just doesn’t know that yet.

“Fuck, Jake. We need to handle this shipment of guns. Once she’s back, I’ll help you get her out.” His eyes widen. His lips tilt into a smile. Grabbing me by the shoulder, he pulls me into a hug.

“Thanks, man. I was scared shitless that you’d look at me differently. I was fucking worried as hell that you wouldn’t understand, and I’d be on my own.” He has no fucking idea how on his own he is. I have to get this shit done here and get back to her. I need to figure out how to get her to open up and talk to me. This is all such a complete fucking mess.

Pulling out of his embrace, we both head inside to get this shit sorted out. As soon as I walk in, my dad’s eyes find mine. Rage and anger seep out of his pores as he looks at me, his eyes narrowed. He can’t know. There’s no fucking way. I’ve kept her locked inside and away from the fucking world. No way does he know I have her. I stare back at him until he looks away. Jake slaps my arm.

“What the hell was that about?” he asks, nodding toward my dad.

“Fuck if I know. I probably did something else to piss him off,” I mumble. If he knew he’d have already called me to his office. He doesn’t know shit. Jake and I walk into the back and do our normal shit, taking a count and making sure all the guns are here. It isn’t anything new. We count them out before they are separated and shipped off to whoever ordered them.

“Phoenix!” I spin around to see Rich standing with his arms over his chest.

“Yeah?”

“Your dad needs to see you.” Shit! Fuck! And shit again! I don’t need this today. I nod once and toss Jake a look. He snickers before going back to counting. I walk out of the back and head toward the office. I knock once before just walking in.

“What is it? I’m busy,” I snap. My dad’s eyes jerk from his desk to me.

“Don’t take that tone with me. Sit your ass down.” Fighting the need to roll my eyes and slap the fuck out of my dad, I walk over and sit in the chair in front of his desk, awaiting his speech that’s no doubt coming.

“The women are being brought in a day late. Some shit with customs. I’m going to need you to be here when the boat arrives. I have Rich calling Bruce to get vans lined up to move them out of here to safe houses.” I rub the back of my neck, visions of Jess naked before me, swarming through my head. I try to shake them away but fuck! Now that I’ve been inside of her, I can’t stop from wanting to go back again.

“Are you listening?” he snaps.

“Yeah, I hear you. I’ll be here. Don’t fucking worry so much. When have I not done my job?” I narrow my eyes at him, daring him to say something, all the while thinking about how I have his prized possession tied up at my house.

“I don’t like this attitude you and Jake are shitting on my floor. You need to get yourself together, Phoenix!” he snaps at me. I shrug and stand from the chair.

“Like father like son. Isn’t that the old saying?” I ask as I cross my arms over my chest. My dad glares at me.

“I suppose you are right about that.”