Jessica

Thrust after thrust I’m forced to take whatever he wants to give. My body lies still as if it’s dead. To him, it is. I won’t give him what he wants. I won’t let him break me again. He can use me, but I can close off my mind and not let him inside, not anymore.

“You’re going to come!” Jake howls, but I ignore his words. They mean nothing to me because I won’t allow them to. He can do what he needs, but he will be on the losing end this time. His hand wraps around my throat, squeezing tightly. I try to swallow, but there isn’t any room for that. His grip is too strong. I fight him, claw at his hands that deprive me of the air that I need, but it’s no use.

“If you’ll just come, I’ll let you go.” He looks down and growls. I’m ignoring him, letting myself drift someplace else. If I’m going to die, at least I’ll be with Phoenix. I saw his eyes when Jake hauled me from the room. I wanted to drop to my knees and tell him how sorry I was, and that I didn’t mean a word I said, but Jake told me he’d rape me and make Phoenix watch if I didn’t do as he told me. That would kill me inside. Knowing that Phoenix had to watch what Jake was doing to me. I held onto the hope that he wouldn’t have to see that and thankfully Jake kept his word. It tore my heart out to think of hurting Phoenix in any way, shape or form. He was the one person that saw the real me and accepted me as I was. A slap in the face wakes me; my eyes pop open. I gasp as oxygen infiltrates my blood once again. My eyes are wide as Jake stares down at me.

“Such a whore. I should have killed you before. I should have cut your fucking heart out like I’d planned to,” he roars. His face is furious. I’ve never seen him look the way he does right now. He’s scary and not himself. I’ve seen glimpses of this Jake, but he’s kept it tamed. Jake twirls a knife in his fingers above me. I gasp as the sharp blade glistens in the slight moonlight.

“Jake, please don’t do this. I love you,” I cry, knowing it won’t make a bit of difference to him. I see the way he looks at me, as though I’m worthless and nothing.

“Don’t beg, Jess, not anymore. You fucked him. You wanted him. It was always him!” he screams, his spit hitting my face. I don’t dare move. I don’t even try. His eyes are wild and full of hatred. I cringe and try to jerk away, but he won’t allow it.

“This time…this time I will take that heart of yours. It will be mine. I was going to send you off on a little trip to be tortured but why should I let you live? Why should you get to breathe?” he snarls. My eyes widen, terror blinding me.

“I love you, Jake. Please don’t do this. We can go away someplace. Just you and me. Please,” I cry as I beg. I don’t care that I’m begging. I’m not ready to die. I thought I was… but I’m not. I want to live. I want to see my mom, even if she hates me.

“You don’t love me, Jessica!”

“I do. I do love you, Jake. Please.” The tip of the blade touches my skin. A shudder races through my body. Anguish threatens to eat me alive. I can feel the blade as it presses into my chest. A cry that doesn’t even sound human rips from my throat. The pain is indescribable. It shoots through my body unnaturally. I gasp between sobs.

“You lied to me. You are nothing more than a whore. You are no one. Your heart is mine, bitch. Mine and only mine. You knew the rules, and you broke them!” The blade leaves my skin as Jake keeps talking. The next thing I feel is the blade slipping between my ribs. I scream and cry and gasp for air as I see the snarl on Jake’s face hover overhead. It’s all slowing down. Time is slowing down.

“I’ll watch you fight for breath, and then I will finish what I started. I will take your heart and keep it as my own, Jess.” I gasp; my chest is on fire. Jake stands over me watching, waiting. The room starts to spin as my eyes lose focus. Is Phoenix going to be there to catch me now that I’m falling?

“Look at you. So, goddamn beautiful even in death. I could have given you everything, Jess. I could have loved you like no one else could. You could have been mine and only mine. We could have started over, made a new life. You didn’t want that, did you? You’d rather be lying on the floor of a filthy dock waiting to die instead. Why did you choose him? What did I ever do to you?” As my body burns with the pain, I whisper, “You hurt me.”

“I did hurt you, but you liked it,” he hisses. His face is a blur of beauty and monster. Jake wasn’t an ugly man on the outside. He was gorgeous. But on the inside, he was a monster. It was wrong that something so evil lived inside of something so beautiful.

“You don’t love me.” The words are starting to come out slower and strangled now. I can feel myself letting go and maybe this is what I needed, to let go and be free.

“Oh, I loved you, Jess. I loved you to death.” As he emphasizes the last word, I suck in a breath before it all fades.