Roy

 

Watching Kesari run out of that room, I spent precious minutes trying to figure out where she went, but I couldn’t. This area was a vast maze. I had to trust Rurik would find them a way out.

But I still slammed my fists into the glass again after she was gone. Even though I knew it wouldn’t break. That I had to find another way. So, I forced myself to turn and run.

Weaving down the hallways and seeking an exit, I saw no one. But I heard more distant explosions and cries. My stomach twisted, wondering where Faye was. Somehow, we’d gotten separated trying to find Frost and Parasite. Now I was praying we’d both make it out.

I spotted an exit and was making for it when a hybrid appeared out of nowhere, snarling and sniveling at me. Jumping back, I dodged its extended claws easily.

Didn’t it realize this place was about to cave in? From the sounds of the detonations, the one me, Obi and Dara had found wasn’t the only bomb.

I went to go by it, but it blocked me and I shifted, circling it warily. Studying it, I realized this was the one who’d been after Kesari. The Blood Bird. Fury raced through my veins and I attacked now, surprising it with my fury. Slamming it back against the wall, again and again, it whimpered.

Finally, I stopped and stepped back. Instantly, it darted away, vanishing down the hall.

Shifting back, I shouted, “No, you’ll die.”

“They don’t care, you know,” said a voice. “Don’t trouble yourself, Roy.”

Spinning around, I stared as a masked man pushed himself off the wall and gazed at me. I swung my fists up, ready to attack, but he reached up and removed his mask.

“Andrei?” I gasped, clutching my side as pain flared up. How was my eldest Zima cousin, someone I’d hero-worshipped as a kid, here? Had I hit my head?

He was everything my grandfather wanted in a Zima. I took in his familiar dark hair and blazing green eyes. The stern angled face.

“Yes?” he replied laconically, almost as though he were surprised at my reaction.

"What the hell – you are here? Why?”

“Undercover. Deep.” Andrei replied in his familiar, rough voice. The one that carried too many secrets and burdens. The one that didn’t like questions.

I wanted to ask if he knew his sister had a baby, if grandfather was getting old and soft, if he thought maybe Ivan wasn't cut out for Shifters of Anubis.

Instead, I asked, "You've been here the whole time?"

“No. I only just arrived a few days ago – didn't realize Shifters of Anubis was even here. Have not had contact in a while. Was about to come up for air when all hell broke loose.”

“Wait, what do you mean they do not care?" I asked suddenly.

“They have zero self-preservation instinct. She takes that away.” Andrei reached into his pocket and tossed me a flash-drive. “Tell the Heads there’s more than one.”

“More than one what?” I asked, gazing at my cousin.

“Traitor,” Andrei said grimly, placing his mask back on. “Now get the hell out of here.”

I hesitated, staring down at what I had. “Faye – she’s SOA – I lost her a while ago in the confusion. She was my mentor…” I shook my head. “We were trying to find the leaders, but they were long gone. She’s got long blonde hair, a complete badass, and a mean right hook. Shifts into a leopard – have you seen her?”

I realized I was holding my breath. Faye would scour this place to make sure everyone else got out – especially Kesari. What if she was still down here, looking? Should I stay?

Andrei’s eyes glinted. “Sadly, no. But I’ll keep an eye out.” He nodded at me. “Keep up the good work, Roy, and stay safe. Now, like I said, get the hell out of here. That is an order.”

I blinked and clenched my fists. He must have known I was going to stay and search. “Dammit, Andrei, what about Faye? Where are you going?” I called after him as he ran. “Andrei!”

“Run, Roy,” I heard him call back. “Run now! I’ll find her!”

There were ugly snarls coming down the tunnel, along with smoke. I hesitated, then raced up the stairs, gasping and choking on the smoke. I knew Andrei was the best of the best – he’d already have a plan for getting out and finding Faye.

Coming up to the surface, I took one breath of fresh air before I was met with turmoil. Hybrids were everywhere, attacking and being driven back by knots of shifters. But it was clear who was winning. Not Shifters of Anubis.

One lunged at me and I knocked it aside as I tried to assess where I was. About a half-mile from the Cantina, which was somehow still standing. It looked untouched in fact.

Gazing around, I suddenly realized that may have been where Kesari and Rurik were heading. Running forward, however, I was stymied at every step by hybrids. There must have been at least fifty. Hemming us in on all sides.

And meanwhile, Herrod was in the mountains, looking for them.

I would have laughed if I wasn’t getting my ass kicked.

As one lunged at me, it suddenly hit the ground and slid several feet, knocked unconscious. Sitting up, I shifted back and to my amazement, saw Mirois striding forward.

She offered me a hand and I gaped up at her.

“What, a Head of Shifters of Anubis can’t get her hands dirty?” she asked.

“No, Ma’am,” I said, grinning a little as she helped me up.

Her face was troubled as she gazed around, holding the gun loosely at her side. “I never thought I’d see the day where we had to hunt beasts like inanis.” She shook her head. “That’s what she was trying to do, isn’t it? It all makes sense now.”

I nodded, unsurprised at Mirios’s quick assessment. “A predator of Shifters of Anubis.”

“And of shifters,” Mirois said, taking aim and taking down another. “You look like hell.”

“Andrei gave me something,” I said urgently to her as she took fire. Other agents were swarming in, also taking fire and taking down the hybrids. Shifters were slowly shifting back and attending to the still figures on the ground. I grit my teeth. “He said there was more than one.”

Mirois eyes went wide and she pressed her lips together. “Thank you,” she said as I slipped the flash drive over to her. “Now, where is Dr. Iyer? I need her to ensure that what we’ve put together to help these poor creatures will actually work.”

“I’m looking for her now,” I said desperately, staring around.

“Aren’t you her bodyguard?” Mirois asked and she gave me a sly smile as I glared at her. “Ah, I see. Clever and independent girl. I did warn Piper.” She jerked her head. “Run along. Find her.”

I moved through the crowd, searching through faces and not seeing the one I wanted. The one I needed to see. I was starting to panic. I’d circled through, asking everyone.

No one had seen her.

Kesari, where are you? Please tell me you’re not still down there…

Finally, I spotted Kai and Isla, along with Enele. Enele was sitting on the ground next to Talori, who was bandaging his arm.

“Have any of you seen Kesari? Rurik? Faye?” I asked urgently.

Kai shook his head. “We got separated. She was with Dez.”

Dez wasn’t with her, I thought, staring around. I’m sure Andrei found Faye. Maybe I should have told him to look for Kes… Or we should have looked for her...

“Alright, I’m going back in,” I said, striding forward and Kai caught my arm.

"Like hell, you are, Roy!" he burst out

“Kai, let me go, you–” I snarled at him.

A sound rushed through the night and swallowed the rest of my words. One that wailed in a sudden burst of energy as it was loosened. And the Cantina exploded.

It was nothing but a fiery ball now, the metal warping and melting away. Smoke and debris belched from its ruins, the ground shaking and the trees snapping back from the force of it. Below us, I heard shaking and crumbling. Fire sucked and gasped for fuel.

Then, after several impossible heartbeats, everything went eerily still.

Someone was shouting. No, screaming. An agonized, deep cry of pain and fury.

It was me.

“Kesari!” Her name burst from me as I ran forward and two arms hauled me back. “Kai, let me go, you bastard, let me go! Kesari, please! Kes! No!” I stared at the inferno and my jaw cracked as I grit it. “No!” No, you are not dead, this is not happening, this is not happening!

“Roy, I’m sorry,” Kai was saying brokenly in my ear. “I can’t let you. You’ll die…”

Obi was there, too, both of them holding me back as I fought to get loose.

“Rurik!” I’d raised him from a puppy – a gift from my grandfather. “Kesari, please no, you can’t… You can’t…” I gasped for air. “Kesari, Rurik!” Kesari!

The fire was crackling peacefully now and I felt the heat on my face. Obi was telling me it was evacuated, no one was in there. Everyone was out. I stopped struggling.

They’re gone.

Kai and Obi slowly let me go. I walked forward a step and then my knees gave out as I hit the ground, hunched over and digging my fingers into the snow. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t scream – I was in too much pain. It was beyond pain. It was beyond heartbreak. It broke me.

It didn’t make sense.

Rurik. Kesari.

I saw Rurik as a puppy, gamboling awkwardly on his legs and then rolling over. Teasing Lev. Panting as he ran happily through the snow. Begging for carrots. What a weird dog. His favorite treat was carrots. And he never chewed my socks. Not once.

My eyes squeezed shut and I gripped the ground harder, the pain in my hands at least keeping me tethered to reality. I let out a strangled gasp. Maybe I was going to die, too. From this hellish, roiling and shrieking torment coursing through me.

I tried not to think of her, sure I’d see her soon, but I could hear her laughter. Feel her warm skin. Taste it. And I saw her running away from me, looking back one final time. Her hand on her heart. Kesari, a pixie more than a human. A woman of magic and laughter and light.

You can’t be gone.

“No,” I whispered, through numb lips. Kes, please…

Kai and Obi were there, hovering by my side and Kai had his hand on my shoulder. “Roy, I’m here. For as long as you need,” I heard him whisper. “Roy, I’m so sorry…”

A tear slid down my face, but I didn’t feel anything anymore. I was as good as dead. In my mind, I saw the thick layer of ice above me as I sank down into the dark depths. Gone.

Then I heard it.

A lone, familiar bark, faint, and followed by a voice. Roy!

My heart shuddered as my head flew up. I could breathe again. Was I dead?

The slamming of my heart told me no. I stood up, chest heaving up and down. Alive.

Turning, I saw a dog trotting across the moonlit snow and my vision warped. A gray dog was coming towards me and there was a woman in his wake.

I was running.

She began running too, or trying to run, hampered by the snow and not as fast.

“Kesari,” I gasped out as I saw it was her, she was here, she was alive, we both were…

“Roy!” Kesari cried happily as we collided. I lifted her and held her against me, looking up at her and knowing I would never get enough of looking at her. Wanting to stare at her and kiss her at the same time. She touched my face and I sank to my knees, throwing out an arm to grip Rurik as well, never so happy to smell wet dog in my life. “Roy, what’s wrong? What happened?” she was asking.

“I thought you were gone,” I rasped out. “Both of you.”

“Oh, Roy,” Kesari murmured, tears spilling out. “I’m sorry.”

Have you met me? Rurik snorted. We were out a while ago – just had to walk back.

“Roy, look, see, I’m okay! I promise I’m okay. We were out moments before it happened,” Kesari said, holding her face in my hands. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t–mmph!”

I was kissing her without restraint, not caring who was watching or what they thought.

I was kissing her, fully in the moment and filled with the kind of gratitude that makes you lightheaded. My arm was still around Rurik and he licked my ear.

“I love you,” I said, as I pulled back and Kesari gazed at me, her face flushed. “I accept your apology, even though I don’t need it. I need you.” I gripped her hard. “Please, never do that to me again. That’s all I ask, impossible or not. And I’ll do whatever you want, Kes. Quit SOA, even.”

Kesari’s eyes were sparkling with tears and joy. “Roy, I love you!” she burst out, grabbing my collar and kissing me back. “And, sh, no, don’t say things like that,” Kesari said breathlessly when she broke away. Rurik stuck his head in-between us and we laughed. “Oh yes, I love you, too Rurik. But, Roy, you can’t quit. Neither of us can – do you know what we found down there…? What she wants to do…?”

“I know, I saw things…” I swallowed. “It’s bad.”

For a moment, we were silent and Kesari pressed her forehead to mine. “I won’t get scared again. I promise. I won’t ever put you through something like that again, either.”

“I’m hoping that’s not the case, but I think I’ve learned my lesson with you,” I said wryly.

“What’s that?”

“I can’t trust you in or out of my sight,” I said with a sigh.

She narrowed her eyes and swatted me. “Roy! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know,” I retorted, grinning as I caught her flying fists. Leaning in, I kissed her again and again, losing track of time. Rurik wiggled away and at that, we broke apart. “If I’d lost you, Kesari… What a fool I am to have not told you how I felt the second I realized.”

“We’re both smart, but that doesn’t mean we don’t act like idiots,” Kesari said sagely.

Her face was solemn and I found my own pulling into one of hilarity as the terrible weight vanished entirely and I laughed. Kesari rolled her eyes, but then she began to laugh, too.

A throat cleared and we both looked up. “I see you’ve found Dr. Iyer, Roy,” Mirois said dryly. “I don’t mean to break up this moment, but I need to talk to you both. Urgently.”

Pulling Kesari to her feet, I gestured to Mirois. “This is Mirois, one of the nine Heads of Shifters of Anubis. She’s the one who vetted you.”

Tucking back her hair, Kesari smiled nervously. “Oh, hello, Um, thank you.”

Mirios merely nodded and stalked away, the two of us trailing in her wake.

“Oh, here,” I said, digging into my pocket and pressing her glasses into her hand.

“Where did you–?” Kesari asked, sliding them back on. “Oh.”

“Yeah, we’re going to talk about how you are the world’s biggest hypocrite later,” I murmured in her ear as we followed Mirois. “After you make it up to me.”

“I am truly sorry,” Kesari whispered, giving me an arch smile and a hopelessly idiotic one spread across my face. “But I’m also looking forward to that.”

There was a helicopter waiting, Mirois waved us on as Rurik ran to Obi and Dara. I nodded at them, then Enele, Kai, and Isla. They'd handle this for now.

A short ride later, we’d landed on the roof of a building and hurried inside. My clothes were soaked and reeking of ash and sweat. Kesari’s, too. She’d patched me up during the ride, but my clothes still had blood all over them. So, it was a great relief when Mirois pointed us to a place to quickly shower and change.

Twenty minutes later and I could almost pretend none of what happened did. But I was still seeing flashes of it behind my eyes. Faye’s blonde hair disappearing down a hallway, Andrei’s green eyes, the swipe of Altair’s claws and the sprawl of Ras’s body. The endless tunnels.

The sensation of unbreakable glass between Kesari and myself.

I’d known I couldn’t have gotten through and yet I’d still tried. Looking down, I saw the side of my fists were black and swollen, starting to become stiff and painful as the adrenaline subsided.

Putting a hand to my face, I took a deep breath, steadying myself.

“Roy,” said Kesari out of nowhere, pulling my hand down and looking at it. “It’s not your fault. You and I both know that a charging elephant couldn’t have broken that glass.”

Cool relief washed over my hands as she healed them. I hadn't wanted her to – I thought I deserved those wounds and had hidden them in the helicopter, but now I knew she'd seen through me.

Looking down, I saw her hands were shaking and I gripped them. “It’s not yours either. But my God, when I saw you through that glass, I thought I could break it.”

“My hero,” she said, trying to smile, but her eyes were troubled. “Everything is happening so fast. Shouldn’t we be back there – helping our team? Why are we here?”

“This is the job, Dr. Iyer,” I said, wishing for a moment I could lie. “When you’re top dog, you have to do the things other people don’t want to. Make the hard calls.”

“What?” Kesari asked.

“We’re here to make decisions, Kes,” I told her. “I don’t know what you saw or found down there, but what I found is going to change SOA and the world of shifters. Tonight was a battle and we lost.” I shook my head. “We were doing everything right, yet none of it worked. Why is that?”

“The rules have changed,” Kesari whispered.

I nodded, cupping her cheek. "That's why I couldn't make that promise to you, Kes. It's not who I am and you know that. You asked me that to push me away because you're scared." I closed my eyes. "I know because I'm scared of the same thing."

Her fingers knotted in my shirt. “What do we do?”

“This,” I said and kissed her with everything I had and was. We were breathing hard when I finished. “We don’t let that fear or any possible future dictate what happens right now.”

“Yes!” Kesari said with a fierce determination that made me smile and believe she meant that word with every fiber of her being. Then she smiled coyly. “You know, you sound like Kai.”

“Why did you have to ruin the moment?” I asked and she laughed. “Either way, I’m going to ignore that,” I grumbled as I pulled her from the room.