Dez

 

Kesari was hissing at me like an angry gosling and I was trying not to laugh. Roy had already shot me a warning look. One that clearly stated: humor my girlfriend or you’ll regret it.

Alvie came in and Kesari immediately went to him, jabbering at him and he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Breathe, little doctor. Your big brother, he’s going to be fine.”

“Going to be? Does that mean you know what happened to him?” Kesari demanded.

“I know enough,” Alvie said with a shrug and I laughed.

“You’re my favorite kind of doctor, Tomich,” I said and he winked at me.

“Kesari, we’re going to have to sedate you if you don’t calm down,” Alvie said matter-of-factly as he sat down next to Roy and greeted him in Russian.

Shaking her head, Kesari prowled over to the door, glanced into the hallway and shut it. She hesitated, then came to stand directly across from where I was sitting on a table. We were in a small medical-oriented room, complete with a gurney and shelves of sterilized equipment.

Kesari glanced at the door again and I raised an eyebrow at her. She flushed, giving me a small, guilty smile. “I didn't know if we should wait for Soraya.”

“Oh,” I said, with a small jolt of happiness. “No, she’s dealing with something else.”

“You are a shifter now?” Roy interrupted. He was leaning forward in his chair, his shoulders hunched and face etched with concern. Belatedly, I realized Roy had been in charge of Bear Valley and had probably been blaming himself for my run-in with Frost. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It’s a long story,” I said with a sigh. Alvie settled in, folding his hands over his crossed knee and Kesari shot me a hard look. “Calm down, Kes, I’m going to tell you it now.” I paused. “Remember that night in the Foundry – the last lab we found? When Frost–”

“Yes,” she interrupted impatiently. “Tell me something I don’t know about.”

“Well, I knew nothing about that,” Alvie said, sounding affronted but his eyes danced.

“Oh, sorry, Alvie,” Kesari said with a wince. “Go ahead, Dez.”

Sitting back, I recounted that last night in Bear Valley. The attack in the lab, losing Kesari in the tunnels, the Parasite encounter, escaping, flying to Morocco and the binding spells in the desert. The subsequent strangeness around the scar and nightmares. And the vigilantism to stop the TLO in Boston, after realizing what I could now do with the information I had found.

I kept the part with Faye a secret for now – I wanted to wait until I could find a time to tell Soraya. Perhaps after all of this.

Kesari listened, growing more and more pensive. “I don’t understand,” she said. “After Morocco… It sounds like everything worked, Dez. You shouldn’t be half-healed.”

Alvie reached into his coat and pulled out a stack of paper folded in half. “These are all his results from the labs I took. Basic blood, electrolyte levels and cell counts.” Getting up, she walked over and thumbed through them. “Like you say, everything working. Nothing amiss.”

Eyes darting back and forth across the page, Kesari said, “Everything looks good.” She sounded almost put out at that.

“Then, maybe it’s nothing to be worried about,” I said. “I’m sure I’ll be fine in time.”

“It’s been months, Dez,” Kesari said. “No, something’s going on… I just…”

Silence fell and I gave Kesari a soft smile as she stood there, looking bewildered and lost.

“I have a thought,” Roy said in his calm, deliberate way and we all looked at him. “Maybe it is not something that can be answered by science or medicine.”

“You’ve lost me, Roy,” Kesari said.

“It’s simple. The sciences can only take you so far sometimes. Especially for shifters.”

Kesari was staring at Roy and a deeply affronted look crossed her face. “Excuse me?”

Roy gazed back at her with amusement. “Kes, were we not just talking about this the other day? Gravity? Dark matter? Life itself?”

Alvie gave them a long look and cocked an eyebrow at me. “Quite a romantic topic, no?”

Flushing, Roy added in a gruff voice, “And love, we talked about that and how you know, you could add that to the list of great mysteries.”

“Oh, Roy,” Kesari said, putting her hands on her cheeks and beaming at him. “He is a romantic, Alvie, don't let him ever try to convince you otherwise.”

“I’ve no doubt,” Alvie said, chuckling.

“Tsch. We’re talking about Dez, not me,” Roy said, going a darker red and gripping his neck.

“I know. So, you’re saying it’s a shifter-spirit level problem?” Kes asked Roy slowly. “Something metaphysical? How does one heal that?”

They were looking at each other in that way that couples did, communicating more with what was unsaid than said.

“I’m only saying it’s a possibility, Kes,” Roy answered softly. “Think of the hybrids – they wouldn’t exist unless there was some shifter-spirit level crisis in the chosen inanis.”

“Damn, you have a point! But how does that help Dez? Does this mean he’s – but he is, it’s all here. You’re a full shifter, Dez. You’re not a hybrid, thank goodness!” Kesari began to pace and I realized with amusement she must have picked that up from Roy. “Either way, I’m still going to run tests. Maybe I’ll find something that will help.”

“Yes, like I said, I only did the basics,” Alvie said as he stood up. “And I could have missed something. Most of everything you need should be in here, Kesari.”

Roy was gazing at me and I shrugged at him, saying, “Whatever makes her feel better.”

“You know, an old family friend is visiting my uncle in Malibu right now,” Roy said slowly, frowning a little. “He trained Kai when he became a shifter. I think he may be able to give us some insight, so with your permission, I will call him and see what he says.”

I studied Roy. “Alright. What’s his name?”

“Kuwe Inaba. He is a kind of sage, I guess you could say,” Roy replied.

“Kuwe?” I asked, startled. “I met him, I think. He was one of the people who came to the desert and helped with the binding.” My fingers rubbed my bicep. “Gave me one my tattoos.” Roy’s eyebrows raised and he said something in Icelandic. “Say what now?”

“Oh, something my grandmother says about shifters – how to always look at the threads that bind us – to know there are no coincidences, only signs,” Roy said, with a mysterious smile. “Let me call Kuwe.”

“Almost ready, Dez, you stay put,” Kesari called over as she and Alvie left as well.

My phone buzzed as Roy left and I glanced down to see Beni had left me several messages. Hopping down off the table, I walked over and leaned against the wall as I called him back.

“There you are, Dez,” he said, sounding deeply relieved. “For a moment, I thought I wasn’t gonna to get a hold of you and have to leave my house. Meghan finally got back to me.”

“Meghan?” I asked, puzzled.

“The chemist! The pills! We had her look at them and find us the ingredients!”

“Of course!” I’d all but forgotten about having the chemist analyze them. “And?”

“It’s some kind of crazy energy pill. Definitely not FDA approved and laced with traces of all sorts of illegal stuff,” Beni explained. “Seems to be big in the underground doping market.”

My mind began to buzz. "Thanks, Beni."

“You work everything out with your girl, there?” Beni asked. “Or is she gonna break into my house again? I’m getting too old for this stuff, kid.”

“Everything is fine,” I said equitably. “Hey, while I have you, can I ask you something? That man Kuwe – was his name Kuwe Inaba?”

“Oh, yeah,” Beni said, sounding perplexed. “Why?”

“It just so happens he’s a family friend of the Weslarks. He was the one who trained Kai Weslark after he became a shifter.” I shook my head. “Did you know about this?”

“Yes,” Beni said.

I gaped at the phone. “Anything else you’d care to share with me?”

“Only that you are on a path where I cannot tell you what step to take next.”

To that, I had no response.

“Dez?” Soraya was asking softly and I turned. She smiled up at me and fire raced through my veins. “Who are you talking to?”

“Beni,” I said and the line clicked off. “Or I was.”

“You look like you’re preparing for war again,” Soraya said quietly, her face grave and beautiful all at once. “The eyes of a hero.”

“Just thinking too much,” I said. “You all come up with a plan?”

She shook her head. “They’re arguing about it now. If only I’d remembered sooner!”

My lips twitched. “We’ve been distracted.” Laying a hand on my chest, Soraya smiled up at me. “Soraya?”

“Hm, did you say something?” she asked, her seriousness gone and playfulness in its place.

“No,” I said, shoving my phone into my back pocket, sliding an arm around her waist, and bending my head to capture her lips all at the same time.

“Aha,” someone coughed awkwardly. I lifted my head to see Roy hovering in the doorway, gripping his neck and looking at the floor. “Hey, Dez, I managed to get a hold of Kuwe. He is, um, going to consult with Kesari after her tests and together they’ll try to figure out what’s going on. Worse case, you can fly out to see him in Cali or he even said he’d come here.” He swallowed. “But he agrees with me – thinks it might not be something that can be healed externally. It might be something to do with the ritualistic aspect – proving to yourself you’re a shifter or something.”

He said all of this in a rushed, fast way, his shoulders hunching.

“Roy, are you embarrassed? What have you never seen people kiss before?” Soraya teased.

“Just do not want to interrupt a private moment,” he muttered, glancing up quickly.

“I appreciate that,” I said seriously. “I mean, from what Kesari says, I hear you’re the best there is.” Soraya began to laugh and Roy gave me a horrified look. “So, no worries, bro.”

“Oh, that is too much,” Soraya said, leaning against me, her head on my shoulder.

“Wait, what did I say? Move, Roy.” He stepped to the side, putting a hand over his face and Kesari appeared. She looked from him to us. “Are you two being mean?” she flashed, hands on her hips. “Leave Roy alone! You guys can be so heartless sometimes.”

“Aw, sweetie, Roy knows we’re teasing him,” Soraya said softly.

We looked at Roy and I realized he was laughing, most likely at Kesari.

Kesari glared at him as he lowered his hand and gave her a guilty look. “I’m sorry, thank you–” he started to say.

“Nope,” she interrupted. “Last time I defend you. Now, come over here Dez.”

 

A half-hour later, Kesari was done with her tests and bustling off to get the results. Soraya, Roy, and I were all starving, heading back into the main room where Andrei, Dara, Obi, and Finni were still in a heated argument.

“We have to do it tonight,” Andrei was saying stubbornly. “Yes, it’s a bad spot, but we’re Shifters of Anubis. We find a way.”

“Drei, with another twenty-four hours, we could ensure a successful op. Tonight is too risky for such an important raid,” Dara argued back. “If we fail…”

Obi was looking drawn and defeated. “I hate this.”

“I do, too,” Finni agreed. He was sitting on the floor, his back against the stage wall and his eyes closed. “Let’s take a break and order lunch. I’m starving.”

“So are we,” I agreed quickly. “And we’ll all plan better on full stomachs.”

Andrei shook his head and strode from the room without a backward glance.

Soraya rolled her eyes. “Oh, let him go cool off alone.”

We ordered food, Finni volunteering to run out and get it, Dara and Roy tagging along to help. While we waited, Obi and Soraya talked in low voices about the traitor situation, while I dozed on a sheeted couch. In no time at all, it seemed, the food had arrived and I was sitting up, a little dizzy and wishing I could have had a longer nap.

The food seemed to revive us, with everyone’s customary high spirits restored and Andrei eventually came and joined us, as well as Kesari and Alvie.

“Are there more people coming, Andrei?” Alvie asked.

“Tonight,” he replied tersely. “That’s why we have to figure this out. I have people flying in and it won’t take long for HQ to notice, along with the traitors and the TLO. We have one shot.”

“Will you get in trouble?” Soraya asked, studying Andrei.

“Worry about yourself, Cloud,” Andrei said in a tight voice.

My eyes narrowed. “Andrei, if you haven’t noticed, we are all trying to help. And I’ll remind you this was my plan, my op I’ve been running for months alone and while I appreciate your help, you need to stop trying to take over. We’re a team.”

Andrei gave me a black look. “I’m aware Dez, probably more aware than you are.”

“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?” I responded in a quiet, absent voice. I was a thousand miles away, recalling the fierce, sad look in Faye’s eyes that night in the Foundry.

“If you’re trying to imply I’m in this for some ego-trip or glory,” Andrei said in a dangerous voice, the Russian becoming harder and thicker. “Maybe you should look in the mirror.”

Soraya tensed and I grabbed her hand under the table. “I’m not, Andrei.”

“Really?” Andrei asked, his face twisting and shoulders hunching. I could tell the thought of everything going up in flames tonight was killing him and he thought none of us cared. “Then why am I the only one trying to come up with a plan? Why are you even doing this, Devoy?”

“For Faye,” I said, staring him down.

A shocked silence descended on the table and Soraya's fingers tightened to the point of pain.

“What?” Andrei breathed. “Faye – Faye Knight?”

With a sigh, I knew the cat was out of the bag and I rubbed my forehead. “Yes. I was trying to find a tactful way of telling everyone…” I closed my eyes. “I’m tired and stressed out too, Andrei. I get it. I see the noose tightening and our window closing. You stuck your neck out for me and I’m grateful for that. I have been trying to come up with a plan and I do care.”

Soraya’s cold fingers landed on my cheek and she turned my face to hers. I opened my eyes and she searched my face. “Why is this for Faye? Did you-you saw her that night?"

“I did,” I said and the silver of her eyes seemed to liquify. “Soraya, please believe I wasn’t keeping it from you – it’s never been the right time. But all this time, all I was trying to do was honor Faye and her request of me.” I let out a bitter laugh. “If we fail, it will have all been for nothing.”

“Tell us,” demanded, a low and intense voice.

I looked up. It wasn’t Soraya who had spoken but Roy.

Roy, who was clenching his fists and staring right at me.

“I think I was the last person to see Faye Knight,” I said slowly. “We ran into each other after I got separated from Kesari, well,” I let out a rueful chuckle. “Not so much ran into as Faye saved me from Parasite. He and I had crossed paths and he was trying to break my neck when she came along. She stopped him – effortlessly. He ran off, I think there was an explosion…”

I closed my eyes. The memories from that night were clear, but also painful. And since I hadn’t relived them in a month or so, I was questioning the order of events.

I hadn’t realized I’d stopped speaking until Andrei asked. “What happened then, Dez?”

“She saw my wounded arm and I told her what had happened. Once she heard the whole of it, she ordered me to get out of there, to tell Beni what had happened and only Beni. To get help.”

You must have realized what you have there and what is happening to you, Dez

“Frost had unleashed something in me,” I told them, opening my eyes and glancing around the table. “I could feel it. Like fire in my blood. Both incinerating and empowering me.

“I was teetering on the brink of either becoming a shifter or a hybrid. And because I was standing on that line, my life was in the balance. Faye saw that and she saw what I’d found down there – the sizeable source of cash in this city for the TLO.

“I tried to get her to come with me,” I said, my words heavy in my mouth. “But she refused. Faye insisted she had to get me out of there. I knew she was going to face off against Parasite – she said he was coming back with a small army.” Andrei made a noise at this. “I begged her not sacrifice herself, but all she said was, ‘Survive for me. Make this right. Stop them.’ And then she was gone.”

Soraya let out a small, stifled sob, pressing her face into my shoulder. I cupped the side of her head and she moved closer, her head on my chest and arms around me.

“Soraya, I wasn’t sure how to tell you…” I trailed off, my throat tight.

Your best friend sacrificed herself for me.

“Of course she did,” Soraya said in a muffled voice.

“That was Faye,” Obi said, his voice gruff.

Suddenly Soraya lifted her head. “You’ve been blaming yourself, haven’t you?” I didn’t say anything and she touched my face. “Survivor’s guilt, Dez. That’s what it is. There’s a shadow on your soul…” She shook her head resolutely. “Faye was a warrior. She did what any of the Shifters of Anubis at this table would have done.”

“Aye, here’s to that,” Finni said, wiping his eyes. “You were one of the best, Faye.”

“That brave, selfless woman,” Dara murmured, hugging herself.

“I’m sor–” I started to say, but Soraya stopped me.

Her eyes were shining and she shook her head. “Dez, no. If Faye hadn’t… She had no choice. And her death is not your fault, only the task she burdened you with.” There was a tenderness in Soraya’s face, an understanding and I found myself leaning into her. “Oh, Dez. I understand now.”

“As do I,” Andrei said in a rough voice. “My apologies.”

“So, you’ll both understand why the plan I came up with is the only one that will work,” I said slowly and Soraya gave me a strange, apprehensive look.

Andrei was eyeing me with suspicion as well. “What’s that now?”

“A diversion in the form of yours truly.”