Kesari

 

I was working studying a series of chemicals that were related to anabolic steroids when someone knocked. Looking up, I yawned as Obi came in.

“Did you hear? All three are going to make a full recovery,” he said.

“What?” I asked, eyes going to my phone. Roy hadn’t told me.

“Yeah, Dara is here and she told me.”

As though on cue, Dara burst into the room, holding a tray of coffees and grinning at me. “I knew you must have been parched – I heard we ran out of beans yesterday. So, I come bearing your most beloved of supplies besides lab coats and test tubes.”

“Bless you,” I said, accepting the coffee.

Behind her, a tall, smiling black guy entered and I blinked. “Dez! You’re back!”

“Piper said you guys might need further research into the antidote, so here I am,” he said.

“She did?” I asked, nonplussed, looking down at my phone again.

“Roy didn’t tell you?” Dez asked. “Well, he was kind of distracted this morning…”

“Oh, yeah,” Dara said, taking a swig of her coffee and hopping up on the table. “His mother is in town. He looked a little shell-shocked.” She eyed me, surprised. “He didn’t tell you?”

Thankfully I was rescued from answering by Dez who said, “Oh, that reminds me. Roy told me to tell Kesari he’d be back tomorrow and to try not to set anything else on fire.”

If Dez hadn’t mentioned the fire, I would’ve thought he was trying to spare my feelings. As it was, I was trying to convince myself not to feel hurt or left out.

Roy was busy and it wasn’t like I’d always been so good at texting or calling him back. I fiddled with my coffee lid, suddenly and strangely not in the mood for it.

“Kes, you okay?” Dez asked quietly as Dara filled Obi in on more details from San Francisco. It sounded like Piper was expanding the SOA presence here and Roy had stayed behind to help.

I belatedly nodded. “So, Piper wants us working on a hybrid antidote?” I rubbed my eyes, remembering how difficult it had been to stabilize Hunter. “Without proper DNA samples, I don’t know that we can. This isn’t like the Capitis Leonis deal.”

“Actually,” Dez reached into his pocket and pulled out the heirloom of the Kazan family. “She thinks we might be approaching this from the wrong angle.”

I sucked in a breath as I looked at the hundreds of year old lion head, snarling up at me, it’s right tooth darkened and a metallic smell filling the air. I’d once spent almost an entire week staring at this thing and analyzing the liquid inside of it. And I’d forgotten Zena Kazan, Balt’s grandmother had entrusted it to Dez to transport it to the SOA.

“She wants us to try to heal as is?” I asked. After the Kazans had been healed of their “curse,” we’d realized they retained some of the latent shifting abilities. Fast healing, speed and so forth. I blinked, wondering if that was how Frost was creating these creatures.

It would make sense – her ancestors had created the Capitis Leonis in the first place. The “curse” had created shifters, but their bodies eventually broke down because of incompatibility within their DNA and the array of shifter abilities.

Yet it seemed the right combination in a small amount was stable.

“It’s worth a shot,” I said, marveling at Piper’s ability to deconstruct problems from miles away on top of everything else she had to do. Did her mind ever stop? “Let’s go downstairs.”

Bidding farewell to Obi and Dara, we headed downstairs to the lab the science kids were working in. There was only the one left and we were about halfway done. Suddenly it hit me.

I was almost done. We were almost done with the Cantina.

What next?

“Kesari?” Dez stopped and stared at me. “Why do you look sick all of the sudden? Bad coffee?” He looked worried, his eyebrows sweeping up. “Oh man, I picked that one out for you.”

“It’s not the coffee,” I said vaguely. “I haven’t even drunk it yet.”

“You’re not drinking coffee?” Dez asked incredulously. “But you’re 90% caffeine.”

"It's nothing," I said impatiently, starting to walk again.

“You know you can always tell me,” Dez said sweetly and I smiled at him.

He was truly the big brother I’d never had, always watching my back in school. As a TA, students had flocked to him, everyone calling him “Uncle Dez.” It was no wonder he was a professor and a good one at that. However, I did draw a line at boy-talk. Too awkward.

“Nothing to tell,” I lied.

“Now you’re lying to me?” Dez asked, laughing. “Let me guess, is it about Roy?”

I squeezed the coffee cup and some slopped onto my wrist. “No,” I said hastily. “Why would you – who – you can’t listen to anything Dara is saying,” I blustered.

“It wasn’t Dara,” Dez said patiently, stopping outside the lab door and grinning down at me. “It was Roy.” He laughed. “Look at you – you’re red as a tomato.”

“What-what did he say?” I asked, letting out a small hiccup.

“I already told you,” Dez said with a small grin. “No more fires. What’d you burn?”

“Dez!” I snapped. “Under the belt.”

“Okay, okay. What I didn’t tell you is the look on his face.” Dez was studying me. “You did a number on him, huh? Kesari Iyer takes no prisoners.”

“Shut up,” I said, pushing into the lab. “I don’t believe anything you’re saying.”

“Yeah, tell that to your face,” he teased. “You’re smiling ear to ear.” He gave me a look. “Wow, you really like him, don’t you? And here we thought you two would be at each other’s throats. But then again, if anyone could thaw out Roy, it would be you.”

"I didn't do anything!" I hissed in an undertone, as I tried to work the smile off my face.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” Dez said as we set up at one of the tables.

Biting my lip, I didn’t want to admit to him that I already was.

 

Using the blood from the attack site, which made my stomach churn, we’d isolated several promising orders of nucleotides. From here, I was confident we could find something along the lines of what Piper was talking about. Perhaps not an exact cure, but a start.

Also, in doing so, we’d realized there was a high number or engorged white blood cells with a high count of leukocytes. This indicated a drift towards autoimmunity, which would explain Hunter’s condition. It seemed especially high in one of the samples and I wondered if it might have come from the first hybrid who’d attacked.

However, we still had so many questions.

I would’ve continued to work all night if Dez hadn’t dragged me away. We went out with the science kids and a few agents and for a few hours, I found myself laughing and forgetting everything.

It wasn't until I got home that the silence and emptiness of the house hit me. Obi, Fortune, and Wrexler were all off tonight. Instead, four muscle-bound wolf shifters were patrolling the outside. I rubbed my arms as I wandered through, before ending up in Roy’s doorway.

Leaning on the doorway, I looked around the room. His bed was neatly made, his room perfectly organized and crisp. Closing my eyes, I wondered what would happen if I let myself indulge these insane feelings and he returned them. My heart jolted and I backed up.

Fleeing to the kitchen, I hastily poured myself a glass of wine and sat down on the couch. Putting on the TV, I found an old sitcom for background noise and curled my knees up as I tried not to think about it. But I couldn’t stop and it was overlaying itself with that night in Greece.

Before that night, I’d dated and daydreamed about finding my soul mate.

Now I avoided it.

I was happy as a single woman. It was easier this way, too. I was better off alone, I’d decided. I’d never get hurt.

Now, however, it seemed like the universe had heard me and decided to dole out some cruel karma to upend all my plans and avoidance. And with Roy of all people.

Well, eventually this would all go away, I told myself sternly, for the thousandth time.

Right?

I bit my lip, sipping hastily at the wine and thinking back to what Dez had teased me about this morning. I was lying to myself. And poorly, too.

It wasn’t going away – it seemed to only be growing stronger in intensity.

My thoughts constantly drifted to Roy. Even when we were out tonight, I’d been wondering what he was doing. If I should text. If he was eating enough. If he was happy or upset to see his mother. If he was thinking about me.

For everything we’d shared, the balance was still off. Roy knew far more about me than I did about him. And he’d only dropped cryptic hints about his parents, but it didn’t sound like a smooth relationship. Before I’d been rabidly curious, yet now I wasn’t so sure I should pry.

What if I said the wrong thing? I swallowed and grabbed up my phone, dialing my mother.

“Hello, my little angel,” my mother said joyously as she answered. “It’s been a few days.”

“I’m sorry, we’re busy here,” I said, picking at the blanket. “How are you? How’s daddy?”

“He’s good, we’re good. Busy in the labs and at the university, of course,” my mother said in her lovely, distinctively accented voice. When I was younger, I’d always wanted her voice. “Are you alright, Kesari? You sound so tired. So down. And what is this apologizing?” she chided.

There was concern in her voice now and I winced. “No, no it’s nothing too serious,” I said with a laugh. We chatted about other things and she promised to tell my dad I called. He was out with his friends, getting ready to watch a soccer match later in the day. I closed my eyes, thinking of Berlin, probably encrusted with snow, a dark kind of fairy tale offset by busy streets and small cars.

As I was about to hang up, my mother said, “Why don’t you tell me why you actually phoned me, first? Is everything alright with Roy? You haven’t mentioned his name at all.”

I went still, lips parted as I tried to come up with a response. Damn my prescient mother!

“He’s in San Francisco is all,” I said after too long a pause. “He’s fine.”

“Did something happen?” my mother asked sharply, her protectiveness singing down the line. “Do I need to come to California and teach that boy a lesson?”

“No, Mama,” I said hastily. “If anything, it’s me. Roy’s been perfectly sweet.”

“What is wrong then, Kessi?” she asked gently.

“I’m worried I’m not being a good friend to him,” I said miserably. “He’s been the one calling and texting, and now he has this thing with his parents, but I don’t know how to talk to him about it. And something serious did happen at work, but it’s okay now. I don’t know. I’m worried about him.”

With the last words, I blinked and sucked in a breath as I realized just how much.

“To me, it sounds like you are being the best kind of friend. Worrying and caring. And when it comes to family…” Mama trailed off, sighing, probably thinking of her own exacting mother. “Listen to him if he talks, but try not to meddle.” She laughed. “Unlike your daddy.”

“He is nosy,” I said with an affectionate chuckle. “Alright, thank you, Mama.”

After we hung up, I stared at my phone and slowly opened the messages with Roy. Glancing around, glad no one could see how much I was sweating this, I typed out a quick message letting him know to thank Piper for her insight. Then, before I could stop myself, I added, nothing has gone combustible that shouldn’t have.

As I sipped at my wine, I watched the sky outside, filled with stars.

Then my phone buzzed. Here’s to small miracles. Why are you up so late? Everything ok?

Frowning, I glanced at the clock and made a face. It was past one a.m. The trip to the restaurant had thrown off my night and I sighed. I had to finish my wine before I could go to bed.

Are you working?! He’d fired off another text before I could answer.

Making a face, I held up the phone and snapped a selfie with the wine. Calm down.

You better not be watching Scandal without me.

I laughed. I’ve already seen all of it except the new season, so I would never.

Still, it’s the principle of the thing. Anyways, I’m glad you’re up – things have been hectic out here and I don’t know if I’ll be back tomorrow.

“Oh,” I said out loud, the disappointment echoing through the room. Brightly, I typed back, Oh, that’s okay. Quiet has been kind of nice. Getting a lot done.

Kesari Iyer, are you calling ME a distraction? ME?

Laughing, I sent him a sticking-out-tongue emoji and drank the rest of my wine. As I went into the kitchen, his reply came through and I paused.

I’m afraid I’m having the opposite problem.

My breath came out in a shaky exhale. Opposite problem. My tired and wine-laded brain came to grasp that too slowly. Wait… Not able to get a lot done because of the quiet and absence of me.

Nervously, I typed back, So I can’t win? I’m always a distraction?

Roy sent back a winking face, then Night, Kes. See you soon.

Roy! Are you not going to answer me? I demanded, my fingers flying as I wrote.

He didn’t answer and I held the phone to my heart.

I’d been hoping that if I texted him, maybe I’d think about him a little less.

And now I had the opposite problem.