Faye

 

“Will you marry me?”

Andrei was staring up at me in utter desperation and something flickered in his eyes. A challenge? Trepidation? Hilarity? I couldn’t tell. My hands were growing clammy and my ears were buzzing. I was surprised I was still standing.

People were catcalling, the crowd around us waking up to what was happening and I heard someone call out, “Say yes, already! You know you want to!”

“Y-yes,” I stammered out and Andrei bobbed his head slightly. “Yes!” I all but shouted.

Cheers erupted as Andrei stood up, an arm going around my waist and a hand into my hair as he dipped me backward and kissed me. I let out a squeak as our lips pressed together and butterflies filled my entire body, followed by a wave of heat.

Without meaning to, I gripped his shirt and kissed him back. My body melted into his. I forgot everything – that we were standing in a public place, that Andrei was acting very bizarre and I had told myself not to fall for his player act.

All I focused on was his lips and body pressing into mine. The soft scratch of his beard. The delicious smell of his cologne. The roughness of his jeans on my bare legs. His grip tightened for one second and I could sense he was struggling to hold back.

Don’t, I thought in a daze. Kiss me harder, take me away…

I’m yours.

But he pulled back, breaking off the kiss and noise rained down on us. Our eyes met for one second and the tension of this morning was back a thousand-fold.

Before I could process it, Andrei had pushed my head onto his shoulder and whispered into my ear, “Don’t lift your head, keep your face against my shoulder and sorry.”

I was about to ask why when he swept me up into his arms and carried me away from the cheering crowd. His steps were fast, his breathing ragged and his heart pounding.

Suddenly, he put me down and I saw his gaze sweep around us. Then his shoulders fell and he pulled out his phone. Andrei spoke swiftly in Russian, then he looked at me.

I watched his throat work as he tried to smirk. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you a nice ring.”

Letting out a nervous laugh, I rubbed my cheek and asked, "What, did you have to one-up Roy?" He laughed at that. "What happened – why did you do that?"

My first marriage proposal, I suddenly realized, almost feeling hysterical.

“Altair Kazan is here.”

Sharp, cold fear ran up my spine and scattered everything else. “And you decided to make a spectacle of us?” I demanded. “How was that subtle?”

Andrei gave me a smug look. “It wasn’t. That was the point.”

“Oh,” I said, belatedly seeing what he’d done. “Still, there were other ways we could have–”

“What’s done is done,” Andrei said dismissively and he began to walk. “Now, come on, we have to get a cab back to the hotel and get the hell out of Auckland.”

“Did you panic?” I demanded, going over the scenario in my head. “You looked worried.”

“I was worried about you, yes,” Andrei said.

“Worried whether or not I’d say yes,” I teased before I could stop myself.

Andrei’s lips twisted, but then he laughed. “I was not. You’re too smart.”

“I don’t know, I did agree to marry the player of the Zima family,” I said, grinning.

“Player?” Andrei asked, jerking away from me. “Did Soraya tell you that?”

I was surprised at the crack of anger in his voice and I shook my head. “No, she never said anything like that,” I said quickly. And she hadn’t. Her complaints were focused on how arrogant and self-absorbed he was. But that was all an act. “I just assumed…”

I trailed off at the look on his face, cringing.

“Thank you for making it perfectly clear how you all think of me,” Andrei said, his lip curling. “I should have known – you adore the Weslarks. And they all think the Zimas are the scum of the earth. Too bull-headed. Too interested in physical strength.” He let out a snort. “Brawn over brains.”

“No, Andrei, I don’t – they don’t…”

“Enough. I don’t wish to speak of this. We have too much to do.”

After that, we barely spoke. We got a cab and took a quick, quiet ride back to the hotel.

Packing up didn’t take long and the ride to the airfield was short. But the whole time, I was filled with mortification and guilt as I realized I’d hurt Andrei in some way.

I had to fix this, but he would barely look at me.

On the plane, he stretched out on the seat and closed his eyes, ignoring me. At first, I thought it better to let him calm down, but Ulma and Hubert were on their way. They would know something was wrong – there was a raw, flinty look etched into his face.

“Andrei, I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know much about you and I began to fill in the blanks…” I stopped myself. No, that wasn’t right. “See, you’re so confident and handsome, I thought–”

“You thought I was some chauvinistic pig scoring with women all across the world?” he asked flatly, his green eyes on the ceiling. There was a note in his voice I hadn't heard before. “No, Faye, I'm not like that. I respect women – in fact, I haven't had a relationship in years because I would never want to put someone through the worry and hassle of being with a shifter of my caliber in the Order.”

The note was filled with a stubborn resolve without an ounce of self-gratification.

My stomach clenched harder and I broke out into a cold sweat. What had I done? There was silence as I tried to think of something to say, but Andrei broke it.

“You think I could… tsch.” He shook his head. “My mother is a saint and I have a little sister. My father always impressed on me to protect them, but more importantly, to treat them as equals.” It was vulnerability that I heard, I realized and my face crumpled. “I could never–”

I’d insulted his honor. If there was one thing Zimas took seriously, it was that.

“You’re right, Andrei, I’m sorry.” I looked down at my hands. I should have known better.

“Is this because I kissed you?” Andrei asked, sitting up and I felt his eyes on me. “It was nothing. Nothing more than a prop in the moment. I apologize I didn’t ask first, but I was trying to keep you safe.” He said something in Russian and stood up. “I need a damn drink.”

As he stalked away, I curled up into the seat and tried to ignore how that word had lacerated my heart.

But I couldn’t.

It repeated itself over and over again.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

 

A jolt woke me up and I raised my head, looking around. We’d taken off a few hours ago and now outside was all dark. The nap had disoriented me and I sat up, wondering why my head felt so hot and itchy. Reaching up, I blinked as I pulled off a wig.

“Right,” I muttered, my shoulders caving in.

“You’re awake, good,” Andrei said, appearing and handing me a bottle of water. “Hungry?” I shook my head. “You should eat.”

“No, Andrei, I’m fine. Listen, I’m–”

“I’m the one who needs to apologize,” he interrupted and I started. “What? I overreacted. I’d let my guard down and Altair surprised me. And when you said those things, it irked me.” Rolling his big shoulders, he sprawled across from me and smiled. “But I do give off that appearance. It can be useful. And, of course, I have had many women chasing me.”

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” I said tartly.

“I apologize, too, for that impromptu proposal. Not my best work,” Andrei said.

A knife seemed to have lodged itself in my chest and it now twisted. “That’s fine.” Eager to change the subject, I asked, “Where are we going?”

“Vancouver,” Andrei replied. “I have a little home outside of the city. It’s the safest place for now.”

“Canada?” I asked, my heart pounding. It was so close to home – to everyone.

“Yes,” he said. “Everything is still quiet, so I think we have a good shot of getting you into the States and figuring out a way to dismantle Mirois’s treachery.”

“How?” I asked, my brain foggy and sluggish. We’d barely talked about it over the last few days, focusing mainly on training. “We don’t even know what she’s up to.”

“We’ll worry about that later,” Andrei said. “And Drax is looking into that.”

“Did he suspect Mirois?” I asked.

“He suspected someone,” Andrei said with a twist of his lips. “That’s who I called after I dialed in your hit the other night. I didn’t give him a name as you know.” He paused and shrugged. “I guess Drax is a bit more cynical than the rest.”

As I woke up more, I pulled my knees to my chest and thought about what it meant that Altair Kazan was in New Zealand. My stomach seemed to drop and I shivered.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s just – if Altair was in Auckland, does this mean the ruse is up?” I asked.

“I don’t think so,” Andrei said. “They didn’t see us – they saw two people who got engaged.” He let out a dry laugh. “Altair is none too bright.”

“I hope so,” I murmured. “It seems like too big of a coincidence, though.”

“There’s nothing we can do now and you’re safe,” Andrei said firmly. “Put it out of your head. He could have been there for any number of reasons.”

We'd discussed the “time of ashes” and “chrysalis” over the week even researched those two quotes. But as of yet, neither of us knew anything more. The answers, unfortunately, lay with the TLO.

Andrei seemed to be thinking along the same lines. “When I get back, I may have to take my leave of you, Faye. Might be time to infiltrate our old friends again.”

Dread pooled in my stomach and I nodded tightly. “Of course.”

“Eventually the honeymoon has to come to an end,” he said, sounding like his usual self.

“Dangerous work,” I murmured, the irony of it all twisting up my insides.

“I live for the danger,” Andrei said carelessly, and I winced.

“Please be careful,” I said in a quiet voice.

“I… Oh, Faye,” Andrei’s voice changed, becoming deeper and rougher. In spite of myself, I looked up and met his green eyes, dark as pine and grieved. “I am an unforgivable ass. Your parents… I didn’t mean to imply anything.” He let out a rueful laugh. “Again, I must ask you to forgive me. I am not myself today.”

“No, Andrei, it’s alright,” I said, trying to muster a smile. But I was also surprised. Not many people knew my parents had died infiltrating the TLO.

“Wait,” Andrei murmured, sitting back and drawing a hand over his face. “How did I not think of it before? Mirois was the one who sent me in and she was the traitor.” He gave a short, incredulous laugh. “All of my information is compromised.”

Suddenly he sucked in a sharp breath and he looked at me in stark horror.

“Andrei?”

“Shit!” he said, lurching to his feet and hurrying to the cockpit.

I turned and peeked over the seat as he vanished inside. Sitting back down, I sighed. Something had just occurred to him and he probably wasn’t going to tell me.

Sure enough, when Andrei came back, I asked and he shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

Right, I thought to myself, wishing I could go back to sleep. Just like that kiss.