Piper

 

Breathing in the fragrant night air of Athens, I wandered slowly back to my hotel. I’d gone out to get food, but I couldn’t eat. I was too caught between anxiety about leaving Balt behind in Luxembourg and getting answers about the Kazans.

Tomorrow I would have to find out where Balt’s family lived. I winced as I imagined his face on the train platform when he’d realized I was gone. I was praying Balt didn’t figure out where I’d gone. I knew he would eventually – so I had to keep moving – and quickly.

I had to figure out–

My neck prickled with alarm and a shiver danced across my skin. I’d taken a wrong turn. Somehow, I’d wandered into a more residential area and I had no idea how to get back to the main thoroughfare. And I’d foolishly left my phone back at the hotel.

Rounding a corner, I quickly ran, shifted and stood on a wall. Surveying the scene, I couldn’t make heads or tails of where I’d wound up. Beyond was a garden, strings of lights in the trees and a larger building in the distance. From here, I could hear faint music. Statues loomed out from the trees and I shivered as I leaped down, heading for the party-goers. Someone there could give me directions and all would be well. Sure.

Hopping down, I glanced over at the garden and then paused. The empty paths and lonely lights held an impossible allure for me. On impulse, I walked further in, trying to enjoy the loveliness around me.

But it was like the color had been leeched out of the world. Every beat of my heart hurt.

Passing under a stone archway, I leaned against it as I gazed at a fountain surrounded by gorgeous flowers and trees. It was a place made for the backdrop of a fairy-tale.

At that moment, I heard and saw something out of the corner of my eye. Immediately, I turned but before I could do anything, a hand was clapped over my mouth and my arms were pinned to my sides. In spite of that, a scream rose to my throat as I went rigid and tried to pull away. But the man holding me was too big and far too strong for his own good. My eyes went wide.

“Lost?” asked a familiar voice as I was let go and pinned against the pillar by two big hands. “Or did you just decide to go see a garden in Greece after standing me up at the train station?”

My lips were parted as I stared up at Balt, gripping my shoulders with no intention of letting go. He was radiating fury as he glared at me, eyes coal black and cheeks flushed. It made my heart wither in my chest as I struggled to form a coherent sentence.

“How did you find me?” I finally asked.

His gaze was shadowed and a small smile was playing around his lips. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I tried to push him away, but he caught my wrists and pressed me against the wall harder. “I know what you’re doing Piper and I am begging you, stop. Please.”

“No,” I said, anger at Balt pouring through me like blood from a wound. Suddenly I wanted to slap him, to scream at him and punch him. To make him understand how much he hurt me.

“Go ahead,” he said, dropping his hands. “I can see it in your eyes. I deserve it.”

Lifting a hand, I shoved him away and stepped into the open garden, rubbing my arms. “No. I’m not giving you the satisfaction.” I wanted to dropkick the statue clasping her white hands at her chest. “Why can’t I know? Is it a pride thing, Balt?” I rounded on him. “That, maybe, I could understand.”

He followed me and shook his head. “It is about keeping you safe. Away from this darkness.”

A wounded noise escaped me. "Tell me this, did you really think I wouldn't find out?" I demanded. "Me?"

At that Balt shrugged and folded his arms. I tried not to notice how his hair was damp and falling into his eyes, the black of his simple button up shirt was setting off his hair or how his loose pants were hugging his muscular legs as he walked forward. “Managed to for a while, there.”

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s not,” he said, his voice low and angry. “You’re in pain. That is not funny to me in the least. And I stand here, knowing I caused that, Piper… It’s killing me. Almost as much as you being in Greece and running off on me nearly did. I almost lost my mind back there.” His voice was rising. “After everything that happened – you disappear on me? Again? How could you do that?”

“How could you keep this kind of a secret from me?” I cried. “How could you write a letter that makes me think at some point you were going to vanish from my life?”

To my surprise, Balt suddenly stepped forward and gripped the sides of my face. “Look at me, Piper.” His hands were warm and oddly comforting on my skin. “You are more important to me than the air I draw to breathe. I would gladly die for you a thousand times over. I would do anything for you. But fate is cruel to a Kazan.” His eyes dropped. “Something I hope Isla never learns.”

I pushed him away. “If I mean so much then why are you lying to me? You know as well as I do that we’re broken, Balt.” Saying it out loud was like pouring salt in a wound and he flinched. “When I went missing... When I was gone – whatever happened – it ripped a hole between us.”

“It did,” Balt said in a soft voice.

I pressed a hand to my heart. I’d thought Balt would deny it. “You knew?”

“Of course,” he said quietly. For a second, unbearable pain flared in the fesootai.

“Then why am I the only one trying to fix things?” I asked in a low, deadly voice.

Balt gave me a look and I watched his fists clench as the muscles stood out on his neck. “What happened, for whatever reason – it undid me, Piper. I don’t know that I can go back.” He closed his eyes. “You have no idea how hard I’m trying.”

Shaking my head, at a loss, I asked, “Trying to do what?”

He opened his eyes slowly and the look scorched me. “To be the man worthy of being in your life. Of standing by your side. Of being your best friend.”

“Nothing changed!” I burst out. “I don’t understand – that’s not an answer.”

“Piper, I am not a free man,” Balt said, running a hand through his hair. “I have always been so careful to avoid certain relationships out of fear of hurting someone. Except with your family.” He blew out a breath. “And you. Especially you. I’ve been so selfish.”

“How?” I cried. “By being there while my family grieved my mother? All you do is give, Balt.”

“No, Piper. All you do is give. Like Kai.” Balt’s face twisted in pain.

“Balty,” I said, thrown by the gyrations and about-faces. “We can fix this.”

“Stop, Piper,” he said and turned away from him. “Can’t you see I’m drowning? It’s over.”

“No!” I said, rushing forward and throwing my arms around him. My cheek pressed into his shoulder as he stopped and stood lifeless in my arms. “If there is some stupid curse, then I will smash it to pieces. I will not stop until the day I die. I will free you.”

He let out a choked sound that sounded like a groan and a laugh. “Pipla, you’ve freed me a thousand times over. With you, I could forget and I often did. All the time, in fact. That was the best gift anyone could have given me. But now I have to face it. Alone.”

“That’s not how it works, Balt,” I said, desperately.

He pulled himself free and turned around, holding my wrists gently. “I’m sorry.”

A screaming agony was starting to rise up in me as I looked at his shadowed face. “No,” I said. Balt didn’t respond. “How can you do this to me, Balt? I’m your best friend.”

“I have to,” he said, swallowing hard. “God, Piper, I don’t want to.”

Pulling free, I slammed my fists into him and he stumbled back. “Go to hell, Balt. I hate you!” I screamed. “I hate you!” But I was lying and Balt knew it.

“I hope you do someday,” Balt said sadly.

“Leave,” I whispered, spinning around and folding my arms. I didn’t want him to see me cry. “Go to wherever the hell it is you’re going. But know this – I will put an end to that Kazan curse.”

Hands spun me around, Balt was glaring down at me in panic and rage. “Please, no. God, no. Piper, how many times do I have to tell you – do not get involved!”

“You should know better than anyone you cannot tell me to do anything,” I said.

His grip tightened. “Piper, no.”

“Balt, I am going to do everything in my power to free you. And I will,” I said.

His chest was heaving and he was gripping me so tightly I thought bones would crack. But I met him glare for glare.

“I’m handling it, Piper,” Balt ground out. “I will do this. Trust me, there is nothing I want more than to be free to–” He stopped abruptly and winced.

“Well, seeing all the progress you’ve made,” I said. “I can see how you’re handling it.”

“Piper,” Balt said in a warning tone.

“Nothing you can say will change my mind,” I said. “Nothing.” I watched as emotions chased across his face and he pushed me away from him. “And while we’re on the subject… Anything else you’re keeping a secret from me I should know about? I know there’s more.”

Balt turned and shook his head, looking defeated. “Let’s go back to your hotel.”

The walk back was charged with energy. I wondered dully if we’d get into another fight back in the room and my heart sagged. I hated this.

Once in the room, however, Balt seemed to be desperate to get away from me. His eyes avoided me as he gathered up his belongings.

“I’ll go get another room,” he muttered.

“There are no other rooms,” I said. I had no idea if that was true, but I wasn’t done with him yet. Not by a long shot.

“Dammit,” Balt muttered. “I’ll sleep on the floor.” He went out on the balcony and leaned heavily on it, rubbing the back of his neck.

Stepping outside, I watched him. “Balt, I know you’re keeping things from me. In fact, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”

“I know how to lie to you,” he said dully. “But believe me, I took no pleasure in it.”

“Stop lying, then. Free yourself of that much, at least,” I said angrily.

“Oh, like you’re not keeping things from me, Piper?” he asked, turning and glaring down at me. “Why did you dampen the fesootai when you were kidnapped? You’re dampening it now!”

My eyes went wide. “I-I told you why.”

“You told me a good story.” Balt paused. “Oh, and speaking of stories – why didn’t you confront me about the letter sooner? And what the hell was up with how you were acting in Paris?” he demanded, looming over me. “You were going to tell me something that first morning – what?”

“I-I, none of that matters,” I murmured, wilting under his glare.

Balt had turned the tables on me.

“Huh, okay. Well, you tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine,” he said sullenly.

“This isn’t like you, Balt,” I murmured. After a moment of silence, as he glared out at the city and my heart thundered in my chest, I said in a whisper, “I’m afraid.”

Straightening, Balt gave me a wary look, as though he wasn’t expecting that. “You?”

“Afraid of change.” I blew out a breath. “Of losing you.” Moving forward, I took a deep breath and laid my right hand over his left. “When I was kidnapped – I panicked when I woke up in that cage. I knew you would sense it and in that very moment, I heard someone saying, ‘so useful to have bait like her. Kazan will kill himself trying to find her.’ Then he laughed. ‘Or we’ll do it for him.’” I looked up at the sky. “I needed you so badly in that moment – it terrified me. And I just reacted.”

Balt said nothing, but he moved closer and his breath stirred my hair as I looked down at our hands. I continued, “I didn’t lie – not exactly. In London, I meant what I said. I was so afraid. Especially for you, Balt. And then after – I was trying desperately to pretend I hadn’t made a huge mistake. I hadn’t ruined everything.” I closed my eyes and whispered, “I caused this.”

“No, Piper,” Balt said, sounding almost startled.

“I did, though. And I made it worse, going through your letter. I’m sorry. I got reckless and impatient trying to fix things between us.” My eyes closed. “So, let me break the curse. Let me make it up to you. I owe you that, Balt.”