Chapter 12

Ava

It was the first time in my life that I woke up not wanting to pursue my future. It wasn’t the fact that my goals were almost overwhelming at times. It was the fact that I had gotten myself into quite the situation without using my damn brain. What the heck was going on with me? I had always been the girl who made the smart choices, not the willy-nilly, think with your crotch choices. I had a mix of emotions going on as I readied myself for work. I was nervous because I had fucked my boss, I was lying to my father, something I had never done before, and I had told Tanner I couldn’t see him anymore. On top of that, I could feel anger twisting inside of me every time I thought about him. My father, when he came over the night before, told me about the fight he got in with Tanner at the polo match. I didn’t know why he didn’t mention that when he was here, but I was almost livid about it.

He had come over without calling, which normally would have been fine, but he came over after having it out with my father. It was almost blatantly obvious what he had done. He had gotten pissed at my father and come over to my apartment and fucked me just to spite him. There was nothing more to that sex than his own selfish anger toward my father. I had been played hardcore, Tanner knowing that it would eventually all come out, whether I wanted it to or not. He knew that if my father found out he was sleeping with me; my father would be beaten down. I didn’t care how much my father held a grudge, he would never do something that low to Tanner. It was reprehensible on so many levels. However, I had worked too damn hard for Tanner to screw up my chances for the future. If he was going to use me as a pawn in this two-decade-old battle, I was going to use his company to push me up the corporate ladder.

I looked at myself in the mirror and put my shoulders back. I didn’t know what to expect at work that day, but whatever it was, I was going to face it with class and dignity. There was no way I was going to lower myself to his level. I had worked too hard to show I was a decent person and an excellent employee to let his petty behavior ruin that for me. I walked out to the corner to grab a cab with my spirit starting to come back. I spent the ride over thinking about all the work I could get accomplished that day. Tanner may be the CEO, but he wasn’t the only person I could impress at that company. There was a whole slew of executives who could be excellent references for the future. Not to mention the men coming in with the other company that we were merging with, none of who knew me from Adam. They would only assume I was as knowledgeable as I showed them I was. I liked to prove myself, and I felt better knowing I had the opportunity to do that with a lot of important people in the business.

When I got to the building, I walked in and rode the elevator up to our floor. By the time it reached its destination, I was feeling positive and strong about my day and my future at the company. That all changed quickly, though, when I walked into my office and saw a note from Tanner requesting that I see him as soon as I made it to the office. Fear flew through my chest, and I looked across the hall at his office door, which was shut when it was normally open. I put my things down and flipped on my computer, trying to breathe before going over there. There was a very good chance that after everything, Tanner was exactly the man my father had told me about so many years before. There was a good chance that now that I had turned him down, he was going to fire me. I knew that was illegal, but that didn’t stop it from happening on a regular basis. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him, and though I knew he was waiting for me, I flipped through the office emails, trying to bide my time a bit longer before I faced him.

If I got fired, I could blame him, but really, I had no one to blame but myself. I had been warned about Tanner my entire life, but I still decided it was a good idea to sneak around and take a job with his company. I had thought it was a good idea to flirt with him and sleep with him, even though it had occurred to me this was a very real scenario that I could face. I wanted to be angry, but I knew walking in there, he had the upper hand, and the last thing I wanted to do was piss him off even more than I feared he already was. Still, even after years of hearing about him, I couldn’t picture him being the man I was expecting to find behind his office doors. He had seemed ambitious and even ruthless, but he didn’t seem like a complete asshole.

I sighed. I couldn’t keep avoiding the situation because speculating itself was driving me even crazier than just walking across the hall. I stood up, straightened my skirt, and held my head up as I walked out of my office. I crossed over to his secretary’s desk and smiled as she hung up her phone.

“Mr. Johnson had requested that I come to his office when I arrived,” I said sweetly.

“Of course,” she said. “He’s been expecting you. Go on in.”

I took a deep breath and turned, staring at the office door. I stepped forward slowly, not wanting to go running in to my doom. When I opened the door, Tanner was sitting at his desk finishing up a phone call. He nodded at me and stuck his index finger in the air, letting me know it would be just one more minute. I looked around the office before taking a seat in the chair across from him and folding my hands in my lap. I tried not to make eye contact with him while he was talking. It was clear he was talking about the merger. When he hung up the phone, he took a deep breath and looked over at me, a friendly smile on his face.

“Thank you for coming in to see me,” he said. “I wanted to take a moment and talk about the other night.”

My palms were sweating, and I could hear my heart beating in my head. He seemed relaxed and professional, but I didn’t know what was going to come out of his mouth next. I was terrified that my career was over as soon as it had started. What would I tell my father? How would I explain all of this to another employer?

“The thing is,” he said, continuing. “I feel really bad. I want to apologize to you for what happened. It was unprofessional of me, and I should have respected you more than that.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head and letting out a deep breath. “You don’t need to be sorry for that. I wanted it as much as you did. I’m a grown woman, and I could have said no.”

“I have positions open in other offices,” he said. “If you aren’t comfortable here, I would be more than happy to transfer you. You can do the same job but be based out of there and not here.”

“No, no,” I said relieved, my heartbeat slowing down. “I don’t want to do that. It’s not necessary. Like I said, you didn’t force me to do anything. It was an adult, mutual decision.”

He looked at me for several moments, trying to read my face. I could tell he wasn’t sure whether I meant that or it was just me being non-combative. He genuinely didn’t have anything to apologize for because, at the time, I’d wanted him as much as he wanted me.

“Good,” he replied, straightening the papers on his desk. “I really didn’t want to go through all that paperwork anyway.”

My smile quickly faded as those words shot from his mouth and into my chest. Ouch! I didn’t understand what in the world would make him think that saying something like that was nice at all. I tried to calm down, remember that I was the one who decided that we needed to keep our relationship strictly professional, but given the circumstances, he didn’t need to take a dig like that. He looked up at me with realization on his face, and I watched as he took in a deep breath, thinking about what he said. He looked like he wanted to correct himself, like he felt bad for saying that, but he quickly tightened his face and looked back down at the files. I wasn’t sure what to say at that moment, and I could feel the anger starting to rise back in my chest.

I stood up and crossed my hands in front of me, thinking carefully about my next words. I could start a fight, but what would it do besides make things even more awkward? I shook my head and took in a deep breath as he looked up at me.

“Will that be all?” I was stern and emotionless.

He nodded his head, and I turned to walk out of the office. However, as I reached the door, I stopped, unable to let what my father told me to go. I had to say something or at least ask.

“Tanner,” I said turning back around. “My father told me about the fight you two had. Was that why you came over to my house? Was that why we had sex? Were you trying to get back at my father?”

“No,” he said, looking up with a surprised face. “Ava, that was not the reason. That had nothing to do with it.”

I wanted to say something else, but at that moment the secretary opened the door. She looked at both of us awkwardly before Tanner waved her in. I took that moment to scoot out behind her, not wanting to talk anymore about it. I didn’t believe Tanner, not after he acted so short and uncaring about having me switch offices. There was something about the way he handled himself that made me think that I didn’t know him like I thought I did. I walked back over to my office and closed the door, not wanting to even catch a glance of Tanner for the rest of the day.

I spent the rest of the workday going up a few floors and working with the financial department on their changing management strategy. Anytime I caught wind that Tanner was coming up, I would make sure to go back to my office, purposely missing him passing by. I knew it was childish, but I needed a minute to really understand what happened that morning. I still had my job, but for some reason, I felt like my pride was completely gone.